A soft mattress and arms sprawled out along the empty bed. Another breath filled the air along with the echoes of an opening door. A familiar childish voice quickly moving around the house causing the only footsteps and quickly approaching.
Once he leaves I can go grab some cereal… Lapis had determined that her stomach growling was a good enough excuse to eat today. Some days she felt she didn't deserve it, especially when she hadn't paid for food in a while. The door had been closed a little more harshly than usual. I guess Greg did another thing that irritated her… Wonder if she's okay…
Dragging her body up a little bit she looked around for some clothes that would be acceptable. Throwing the blanket off of her lap she began clawing through the few sets of clothes covering the floor in a thin layer. A dark shirt and her usual black jeans were acceptable to her but stealing Pearls white shirt was also tempting.
Giving in she took the white shirt on the floor, I mean she doesn't consider it clean if it's on the floor... God her shirts are so soft, they feel so nice… Dredging up the thought of her three day old clothes, usually it got to the point Pearl felt badly for her and threw her few clothes in with hers.
Traveling over to the bathroom with her set of clothes she threw them on the counter before turning on the shower. Burning hot water would be pouring down in a moment while she looked over her body, a nice large mirror covered most of the wall opposite the shower.
Her body definitely looked aged, lines under her eyes along with hair that didn't seem to have any of its older qualities. A certain shine didn't strike her eyes anymore just a dull dark blue that could nearly be the same as the black bags under her eyes. Steam billowing behind her signaled that she should be done looking over herself, she agreed.
A few last glimpses of the mirror showed a face that didn't want to smile anymore. I get to see Steven today at least… When was the last time she let me around him? A month…? No maybe three, how long have we even been broken up… Don't think of that… Pearl still cares, god why does she torture herself and not just kick me out on my fucking ass…
Pushing air past her teeth as her body burned with water falling across her being, trying her best not to draw away from it but instead endure it. I deserve worse than this… she thought as her skin brightened to red to display the bittersweet proof of life. The white shirt wasn't the last thing she stole from Pearl, her soap and a left out towel were also readily stolen.
Reminds me of the first time I took a shower at… No stop… No more thinking of her, today is the day that we end things… Lapis dug her fingernails into her arms until spots of blood came forth and stole her mind from blonde hair to the light red lines along her arm. Realizing she couldn't steal the towel until the blood stopped pouring she turned off the water and sat down at the bottom of the shower.
Focusing in on the things around her, she heard the frantic foot-steps running about. The fan in the shower drowning out any other possible noise until she noticed the blood stopping. A quick rinse of the shower on her arms before drying herself off making sure no reminisce of her etching her thoughts back on the current time.
Pearls t-shirt barely covered the scratches at the top of her arms and they smelt like her rosy perfume she wore. Her quick sniff brought her eyes down to the cold tile floors, thinking about how the frantic girl would respond… Before long she left the mirror behind and the tiles that made her hollow body feel heavy.
Whenever she felt ill, particularly after a bad hang over she would lay down on the tile floor with the small carpet that rested outside the shower as a pillow. Closing the door she began attempting to prepare herself for what she would see downstairs.
Before she could though it was just in front of her, a small brunette boy that wore a huge smile sitting there in the room. He had his legs crossed but not for long as he bolted up with the energy of an excited puppy.
"Lapis I knew it had to be you!" Steven yelled to the quite shocked girl. Letting her hand fall off the door knob she began to let her hands instead hide inside her pant pockets. Her blank face seemed to be rubbing off on Steven as his face dropped slightly the longer they sat there silent, it was a clue to Lapis.
"Steven!" Lapis yelled turning up the corners of her mouth and running forward and picking up the small child. That seemed to set the mood back to what it should be, this child should enjoy his youth thought Lapis. "How are you?" Lapis said slightly excited.
"I'm good where have you been? Are you and Pearl fighting again?" Steven asked his voice sounded of curiosity and not so much of worry. He's so pure, he's not even worried if we're fighting. I bet he thinks that we worked it out and are happy now or something…
"No we're fine, have you gotten even shorter?" Lapis asked trying to diffuse the other possible conversation that could spill out. Thanks to those words Steven began attempting to unravel himself from Lapis' arms.
"Of course not!" He yelled before wriggling himself to the ground. "I've actually grown a whole half an inch since I last saw you," he smugly said and Lapis was genuinely impressed he had an "Exact" amount.
"Huh odd, well if you think you're taller I guess I'll let it slide," Lapis said shrugging her shoulders a bit as they both began walking down stairs. Steven took the lead and actually grabbed Lapis hand before they started walking down.
"Think? I know I'm taller," Steven said laughing a little bit, Lapis loved how friendly this boy was and he actually helped her mentally. He was quite good at drawing all her attention to him, guess children were sort of meant for that.
"How old are you now?" Lapis asked as they were approaching the kitchen. Steven let go of her hand at last and ran into the kitchen before turning around and answering.
"Thirteen! Well in a couple weeks I will be. But I think I'm close enough anyways." Steven happily said, past him however was Pearl casually picking up the room a little bit. It caught her eye though, Lapis saw Pearl looking at one of the many turned down pictures in the house. The small ones that took up a palm of someone's hand were left in their frames face down.
"Yeah that's close enough, when I was 19 I considered myself 21 anyways at least." Lapis said thinking back with a smirk on her face as Steven's looked a bit more worried.
"I don't know if that counts…" Steven said in a slower voice than usual. Lapis made her way to the fridge where she could pull off a box from the top of Cheerios.
"You're probably right and I think it was actually when I was 16," Lapis said and finally she got the response she wanted.
"LAPIS! Don't tell Steven stuff like that," Pearl yelled out from the other side of the room quickly placing the picture face down back onto the shelf.
"Well uh… okay then," Steven awkwardly said placing himself on the chair beside Lapis. Something quite odd about the kid is he often would just sit around and talk over playing with his toys, Lapis didn't know much about children but just enjoying conversation seemed odd. "So I'm glad you two are with each other once again." Steven casually said.
Lapis looked over to Pearls face to search for an answer, she didn't know what to say and judging from Pearl neither did she. Pearls face was wide eyed and looking right back at Lapis, they just sat there and stared at each other's eyes. Lapis had poured her cereal and some milk trying to think of an answer.
"Well, right now we're just friends again, but we're not fighting and that's what's important," Pearl interjected before Lapis could speak. That was probably a good thing, seeing as words seemed to ruin things when they came from her mouth.
"Ohh alright, well I think you guys are good for each other," Steven said, youth could be brutal when it said the truth. Pearl probably was the best girl for Lapis but love didn't work like that, love only liked to work when it could drag a spike ball through your innards.
Lapis appreciated so many things about Pearl, but it just never clicked far enough to relieve her of her thorns. Then again Pearl was the closest to that out of anyone and maybe it was completely Lapis' fault then again what wasn't. Lapis slowed down her bites of food to just single pieces while she thought things over.
"I thought so too," Pearl said under her breath, was that intended for anyone other than herself. Were Steven and Lapis mistakenly hearing Pearls inner thoughts or was that a jab at Lapis. Thinking it over Lapis knew it was a jab at their ability to help each other crushed by Lapis. Steven hearing it clearly made him feel awkward as he looked a little bit frantic.
"Uh want to watch TV? I think there is a new episode of crying breakfast friends and dad doesn't exactly have a working TV right now." Steven excitedly said to them, and within moments he was already up and looking for the remote.
"Sure thing Steven," Lapis happily said as him and Pearl walked to the other side of the open kitchen which drained into the living room. A large flat screen television turned on with Steven frantically changing the channel until it arrived on a cartoon show. "I have to make a call real quick, be right back." Lapis said picking herself up and walking away from her cereal.
"Very well," Pearl said back before she sat down on the couch next to Steven. She hadn't been wearing a smile very much today. I wonder what's bothering her, guess just another one of those days. After Lapis let herself out of the kitchen the phone had begun to dial.
Please pick up, Lapis begged her own thoughts as if that could change the outcome that she figured for inevitable. After a few dials Lapis thought she needed to steal some other thing from Pearl with all the Stress she was feeling.
"Ahem, I'm sorry I cannot make it to the phone right now so leave a message." Came a slightly nasally voice before a beep finally sounded and Lapis drew in a breath trying to stabilize her shaking chest.
"So uh hey, this is Lapis as you probably figured, I'm going to be on your side of town later today and I'm going to visit. Even if you don't really want me, I just want to see you today. After this I'll let go if that's what you want, I'll never call you again or just randomly stop by or anything al," before she could finish she was cut off by the beep of the phone. Her slow words took a bit to get out, so it was pretty understandable not being able to get it all out.
After a quick peek inside the door she stole a pack of cigarettes from the pocket of one of Pearls jackets before leaving for outside once more.
She left for a quick stroll around the block with the burning addiction enveloping as the taste in her mouth. Instead of dwelling on thoughts she put most of her thought into deep inhales of smoke and the vision that her open eyes could see, over her closed eyes. When stray thoughts would kick in she would quickly stop them with intense observation of the cracks on the side walk.
Around her were sights of beautiful large houses, the sun was out and lighting up the lively lawns as well. Before long she had used a few cigarettes and was back in front of the house she just escaped from. Another thing Pearl had a surplus of was mints and gum, after setting the carton back in the black jacket she fished through another few to find a mint.
First try out of the four jackets hanging, she found mints and walked back into the living room. Pearl was standing in the hallway as if she was waiting for her.
"Gave her a call?" Pearl asked not letting her eyes leave the television, as if she was a gate keeper to getting back into the room. She might as well have been with how much she dictated where Lapis lived.
"Yeah, when you drop Steven off can you drop me off somewhere as well?" Lapis asked, her voice matched Pearls both of them drained of all emotions. As if death had come and left coils of their bodies to reenact each day.
"Okay, maybe you shouldn't come back here anymore?" Pearl let out with a breath that could match a sigh. Pearl had been trying to completely severe their ties for a while now but both of them ended up needing each other, one day or another.
"Wow did you see that Pearl," Steven asked turning around to look at them with worry in his eyes. Immediately they both tried their best to foster up a smile to share and a quick nod before the boy turned back to his cartoons.
"I don't get cartoons anymore," Pearl said. Changing the conversation as if to not be brought up again and for Lapis to just disappear by the end of the day. Hell maybe that would be for the best.
"Hey Pearl at the end of the day if this goes how I think it'll go, I'd like to try and date again. I know I've made a lot of mistakes when trying to be with you, but this is the final time. I'm trying to fully severe things and actually get over her." Her breath was becoming faulty as if she wanted tears to stream along with her words. A numb face that actually couldn't tell if the persistent tears were falling, or if her caught up breath was just her nerves. "So I know you might not want to but I'd like one more try alright?"
"Lapis really?" Pearl wide eyed and on the side Steven was wide eyed as well apparently playing both of them for fools and eavesdropping. Lapis gave a small nod with her eyes staring over at Steven still a little bit worried for what he heard. "Alright we need to talk about this, Steven we'll be right back," Pearl said grabbing Lapis hand and dragging her upstairs.
Her hand was soft and quite warm, it was nice to have someone to hold onto, on an emotional level. Running up the stairs instead of a calm walk felt like they were coming back alive together and she appreciated that. Soon enough the door was closed behind them.
"How can you just expect me to take you back and all that, you realize how hard that is on me right? I'm so confused right now and just don't know what to do about you." Pearl was talking really quickly clearly flustered beyond belief. She was also pacing in front instead of standing still, it was more like she was thinking out loud than having a conversation.
"Just a final run Pearl, I want to give us one more try," Lapis said with those words weighing a lot and not knowing how true each of them were.
It was silent and Pearl stopped pacing, her face was scrunched up and it hurt to watch her like that. How have I meant so much to you, why do you care so much for me I've been awful to you. Lapis wanted to cry as she watched the girl in front of her.
Soon enough Pearl actually had tears in her eyes and Lapis couldn't contain herself anymore. She was full on crying as well, Pearl was rubbing her own eyes as if finally coming to a conclusion.
"Lapis if we're to make this work… You need to get a job, you're going to have to start paying rent and, and I want to have a date night." Pearl was frantic and closing the distance a little bit as she took a step forward. "I want us to be a real couple, I don't want to have to hide you in my room till others leave…" The distance between them couldn't fit a pencil between them, Lapis wanted to swoop forward and pull her into a hug.
"Yeah I'll find a job alright," Lapis claimed aloud and was quickly cut off by Pearl.
"Not just a job, you need to get better. No more drinking days away, and no more drunk calls to Peridot. Know what no more calls to Peridot all together," Pearl said shaking her head slightly with those words.
"Okay…" Lapis said letting the gravity of everything she had to accomplish hit her. Pearl was right, she needed to do all that, hell she needed to do that months and month's maybe years ago. Wrapping her arms around Pearl she brought her in for a hug. "Why are you crying though?"
"I don't think I can believe you, no matter how much I want to, I feel like I'm going to be getting a drunk text tonight that I can barely read. Then to decipher where you are in order to keep you out of jail…" Pearl said slowly pushing Lapis away leaving a distance between them that shouldn't be crushed.
Lapis was bad about dos and don'ts though and forced herself forward into a soft kiss on Pearl. She was always there for her and Pearl was right, Lapis had never proven to be good enough to do anything right.
"You might be right… but if I mess up this time… I'll go live with my parents…" Lapis said with words that stained her throat, they hurt to say but at least they were out now and couldn't be retracted. People she hadn't seen in years or even messaged, they never tried either though.
"Oh…" Pearl seemed to realize that Lapis didn't want to lie to her anymore and that even the mention of either of their parents meant something was serious.
"Let's go see Steven he's probably missing us…" Lapis said slowly drawing herself away. Opening the door and approaching the stair held no other foot-steps besides hers.
"Lapis… we can try one more time," Turning around Lapis saw a small smile on her face and she responded with the same face. Neither of them willing to let out a full-fledged smile but good enough to display all their emotions, which wasn't much.
"Thank you," with that Pearl caught up in quick small steps and they wrapped their arms together as they walked down the stairs. It was apparent that Pearl thought of them as together from that point and Lapis couldn't help but be glad for that.