Here it is! The *final* chapter of Reaching into the Darkness =]

Thanks so much to everyone who asked for more and stuck with it, especially those who gave lovely reviews! However, everyone who added this to your favorites and alerts also just made it so worthwhile! But enough of my babbling... on with the story! I hope you all enjoy it!

If you're going through hell, keep going. – Winston Churchill

It has been one month since the trial of McGee's rapist. He's been going downhill ever since, slow but sure. He has gotten thinner from a lack of appetite and has a great deal of nausea when he does eat. He doesn't even like to ride the elevator alone. There are bags under his eyes from nightly nightmares and general insomnia. He's often irritable, snapping at you, Gibbs, Ziva, even Abby. You're losing him.

You're becoming frustrated again, wanting him to get better faster, even though you know it won't happen. You want to hit him, shake him, make him come to his senses, but you know it would be useless, counterproductive. So, you drop hints at therapy, seeing a counselor, a psychiatrist. You're met with refusal after refusal. Finally, even Gibbs and Ducky become fed up, and Gibbs orders him to go home one day. McGee pales, saying, "Well, I can't go by myself. I'm not… it's not safe. Someone's gotta go with me."

"Well, I can't spare anyone right now, McGee, and you're not making it easy for anyone here!"

"You can't do that to me! Not when there's someone out there who wants to kill me!"

"Come, McGee," Ziva says calmly, "there is no one out there who wants you dead."

"Yes there is! Jeffrey Lionel does! My testimony put him in jail! What if he gets off? Gets out? He'll kill me!" he shouts.

More than half the bullpen is staring. You quickly snatch up his arm and drag him into the elevator, then pulling a Gibbs and stopping it.

"McGee, I understand you're hurting, but this needs to stop. You cannot keep snapping at everyone! You almost had Abby in tears! I don't care what you do to me when we get home, but do not do it here. Look, Ducky's not busy. I'll take you down there 'til it's time to go."

You don't even give him time to protest. Jimmy looks slightly worried, and you know he's felt McGee's wrath of late. Ducky, however, is ever the gracious host and provides McGee with a multitude of computer troubles to occupy him, saying that technical problems are best to keep one's mind off things. Gibbs allows you to leave early, solely to take McGee home and get him straightened out. He is eerily silent on the way home, and you concoct a plan to fix his attitude.

"Hit me," you say as you close the door behind you.

"What?"

"Just hit me. I know you want to."

"Tony, I'm not gonna-"

"Just do it! You've been pissed for a month! Take it out on me al-"

McGee connects solidly with a right hook. Your head whips to the side. Suddenly, he's swinging wildly, barely connecting any punches, pushing you… and you just let him go. After five minutes, you grab his wrists and hold them tightly. He immediately breaks down.

"I wanted to hurt him, Tony! Sometimes it was all I could think about! I just had these horrible… fantasies of killing him! I couldn't help it! I'm sorry! I'm so sorry!"

"No. Don't be sorry for that. It's only natural. You know everyone felt the same way about Ari when he killed Kate, especially me and Gibbs… even Ducky. That's nothing to be sorry for."

"Tony, you don't get it! I wanted to do really bad things to him… really gruesome things. You don't… you don't know how many times I've killed him in my head… the ways I've… imagined revenge."

"I've already told you not to worry about that."

"I don't wanna become that, Tony… I don't…"

"You won't. Lionel's been sentenced," you state quietly.

McGee's eyes go wide, wet with tears. He seems stunned for a moment before asking, "What?"

"Yup. Sentenced to life without parole. He's never getting out of prison, not after the combination of charges against him," you explain, your own voice filling with emotion.

He throws his arms around your neck, crying from joy, the side of his face pressed against your bruised jaw. You murmur, "You never have to worry about him again, Tim. Never again," holding him close, trying to control your emotions, to be strong for him as he sobs in your arms. Only a few tears escape your eyes. You continue to hold him long after he stops quaking.

"What do I do now? I put all my energy into putting him away," he says thickly.

"You just keep going," you answer, "You can't make this who you are. Not forever."

"I'm never gonna forget this. It's gonna be a part of me for the rest of my life."

"But you can't let it become you. You can't let it control your life. It's gonna get better, Tim. It has to get better from here."

It is a long time before the silence is broken, and it is McGee quietly asking for you stay with him in his room again. It's the first time he's asked in a while, and you can't help but say yes. You remain awake long after he falls asleep. He sleeps without a shirt for the first time in months. Your eyes adjust to the darkness quickly. Little, round, faded scars can barely be seen, shining faintly in the moonlight. You have to resist the urge to touch one, just to see if it would feel like any other scar. You have become closer than a brother to this man in four months than you had in years of knowing him. Seeing the faint scars of that fateful day simply kills you inside. Tears roll down your cheeks as you look at him. This whole ordeal has hurt him so much. You stifle a sob, then another, trying not to wake McGee. The bed dips, and a pair of arms wraps around you from behind. He whispers, "It's okay, Tony… you can let it out now…"

After months of frustration and anger and hiding your feelings, you finally allow yourself to cry as you should have at the beginning, as you haven't in years… and for once, McGee is doing the comforting. You break down in his arms, sobbing loudly, tears streaming down your face. The younger agent simply holds you, trying to soothe you.

"Sorry, Tim…"

"You don't have anything to be sorry for… just like you always tell me."

If you are interested, I will be posting an epilogue to this story hopefully soon. It will be slashy, so I'm thinking about posting it as a separate oneshot. (The title will be 'Just As They Are'.) Let me know what you think! Thanks again for all the love!