A/N: This is indeed a side story, but shouldn't be seen as filler. To me, even though Noriko was not in Japan for a long time, she was still involved in her friends' lives, so she knows - in detail - how many of the relationships flourished after the girls graduated from high school. Every little thing we experience in life -whether as main characters or spectators - molds us into the people we are currently. This chapter is no exception when we talk about Noriko's growth.

Once again, thank you so much for taking the time to read this! :)

Whatever it was - Chapter IV

Kanako woke up early; one of the weird traits she had developed in college and had followed the woman after graduation. She would have cleaned the house and made breakfast for Touko, but not wanting to wake up Youko and Sei, sleeping on the couch in what many would interpret as a cuddle, Kanako decided on silently making coffee and quickly headed back to the bedroom. She cracked the door open slightly before walking in, hearing the shower going off, she leaned her heard on the doorframe and looked into the room. For some reason, to the dark-haired woman, the marriage as well as the house, cars, bills that the couple had shared for now three years, were still a bit of a fairytale, though walking into the room and seeing Touko's shoes and clothes neatly folded on top of their dresser and pictures of the couple where she held the brunette tightly in her arms, always brought everything into perspective again: Touko was Kanako's home.

As Kanako pushed the door open and entered the room, she reached down and tossed onto the bed a part of the covers that touched the floor. Touko had this incredible ability to jump off the bed every morning like the house was on fire, sending the comforter flying, and in the process, either completely uncovering Kanako or throwing the covers on top of her head. Kanako felt a shy smile tug at her lips, a reminder that Touko's flaws only made her more adorable than the short brunette already was, Who would have thought that out of everyone I would be the person she would have opened up to the most?

The dark-haired woman finally settled on a recliner by the bedroom door, holding the cup of steaming coffee on her lap with both hands. She then laid her head back on the chair. Her ears couldn't help but take in the soft melody coming from the bathroom, nor could her nostrils not recognize the scent of Touko's body wash and shampoo, both seeping thorough the closed bathroom door. Kanako's eyes closed as her ears finally recognized the song coming from the bathroom: Pachelbel's Cannon in D Minor.

The sweet taste of coffee sealed that moment as Kanako's eyes closed and her mind wandered through memory lane, to a time that was by no means as smooth or peaceful in her life…

"I've been waiting for you, Touko… for all of these years, I mean… And truthfully, I'm not sure if that was really the right decision, but at the time, I guess, my heart only had eyes for you. So I waited… Because I thought your heart also saw as mine did."

"Kanano-san…"

"No... I... I'm just doing this because I don't want to go through what Yumi-sama and Sachiko-sama went through. You were there! You knew what was going on, and I know you told Yumi-sama countless times to go tell Sachiko how she felt… You saw her whither away, Touko. We all did! Yumi-sama's heart was reduced to almost nothing and she held on to the last legs of the faith she had for Sachiko-sama's love for her. We don't have a Tooru, Touko. We don't have someone who will stop a wedding and tell us what we already know."

"Kanako-san," the use of the honorific for the second time hurt much more than the words that followed it, "but right now… I don't think I can…"

"It's ok. You see, all I wanted was a sign…" Kanako didn't want to go through life not knowing how Touko really felt.

"…"

"…I… I already paid for the coffee, so please enjoy it… I… I should go. If I miss one more class I might not be able to graduate!" Kanako chuckled, knowing very well that the statement was a complete lie.

"Ok."

"Tomorrow night, though. They're making a big deal out of it, please don't be late…"

"I won't. I told grandpa I was going to stay the night tonight, but not tomorrow."

Kanako stood up, picking up her cup of coffee she looked at Touko before smiling and saying: "Don't… don't overwork yourself." She then bowed and walked through the door, into the cold fall breeze.

Did she just dump me? She couldn't have dumped me if we weren't going out, right? Kanako thought as she reached for the headphones and put them on, getting ready for the 15-minute walk she had ahead of her in order to get to her classroom.

I wonder if this is how Noriko felt…

The tall, dark-haired woman gathered her hair and brought the improvised ponytail over one shoulder, letting all her hair drape across her right breast and atop of a dark-blue peacoat that hid a grey sweater she wore.

I wonder what Shimako-sama told Noriko... I'm sure it was much worse than what I just heard from Touko. Maybe… Maybe I'll give Sei a call…

Kanako thought fondly of the older woman, who had for many years harassed the younger Roses and Kanako in association as tough the girl was much a part of the Yamayurikai as any of the other Roses. Touko, over and over again had made sure that everyone recognized Kanako for her hard work and commitment to the Lillian student council. The brunette didn't hesitate to mention the overly-tall girl and her professionalism in every speech she had to give. She didn't leave Kanako unrecognized even during her last speech as Rosa Chinensis. Touko's a good friend, Kanako thought as she sat at her desk, setting her music on repeat. Swaying ever so slightly to each note of the piano, she closed her eyes, sending a little prayer to Maria-sama: Thank you, Maria-sama, for putting Touko-chan in my life. She has been an amazing friend to me and I hope I didn't mess things up with what I told her today. Maria-sama, if you are listening, please, I beg of you that you keep Touko in my life. And though the fact that I won't be able to hug and finally kiss her will hurt me every day of my life, I do think my heart can heal, so long as she is around… Please, give me the strength to go on with my life in such a way that I am not a bother to others, and in such a way that I can walk side-by-side with my best friend without wanting her just for myself as I know this might be one of the many things I might not be able to have in life. Maria-sama, please, protect everyone, especially the ones who are not under our watch anymore. I wish I were strong like them... Thank you, Maria-sama for everything. Amen.

Kanako went to all of her lectures that day, then went back to the coffee shop to work her scheduled shift. During her dinner break, se called Sei, who had picked up the phone after the first ring. When Kanako walked out of the coffee parlor, instead of crossing the street and heading toward the apartment she shared with Nana, she took a left turn toward the strip of bars that were right around the corner from her job. Once Kanako entered Sei's favorite pub, she spotted the blonde sitting at the bar, harassing the bartender. There, they talked about Sei's job at the Manga Company and the stories she was working on at the moment; mostly Yuri, though she was actually starting to dab into Yaoi, which made Kanako smile. Sei also explained to Kanako that her hair looked so good because Rei had cut it the night before. "Sometimes I wonder if there's anything that woman can't do," Sei laughed as she looked at the dark-haired girl who was checking her phone for the nth time that night. "Give her time, you know. I'm sure she understands where you're coming from and will come around soon. She's a smart girl, Kanako. A pain in the butt for sure, but very smart!" Sei finished, taking the last sip of her beer and asking the bartender for a refill for her as well as a new drink for Kanako and two shots of strawberry vodka. "Cheers," the blonde said as she waited for Kanako to take the shot then following suit, she drank hers. "Let her come to you. I can assure she'll want to talk more. You guys can put everything on the table then, and you can tell her how much her friendship means to you and that you don't want to lose that. It's simple, you know… You just have to tell her."

At the end of the night – or beginning of morning – Sei walked Kanako home and watched the girl fiddle with her keys for a moment as if she couldn't find the right way to unlock her door. Much like trying to get into Touko's heart, Sei thought, and ironically enough, she saw Kanako turn the handle and find that the door had been unlocked the entire time. Sei chuckled and nodded at Kanako who waived her goodbyes from the open door. The blonde then turned about, fishing her own cellphone out of her pocket and powering it on for a second, then turning it back off, No messages, the device read as she made her way back to the bar.

Kanako had lain in bed and watched the ceiling spin for at least 20 minutes before she plugged her phone into the wall charger. It's been eighteen hours since we last spoke. The alarm clock on the side of Kanako's bed marked 2:43 a.m. when her heavy eyes found well-needed rest.

At 4:56 a.m. Kanako's phone went off and much for her surprise the familiar ringtone made her heart skip a beat, "To…" Kanano cleaned her throat, "Touko…" a sleepy and very coarse voice whispered into the device held against her ear tightly.

"I'm so sorry for waking you, Kanako-san…I need… I need a ride. Can you com– "

"Where!?"

"Grandfather's hospital."

"Touko! Are you ok?! What happened?"

"I'm fine Kanako-san… I'm fine." Touko's voice couldn't hide the lie.

"Yumi-sama, Sachiko-sama… your parents, your grand–"

"Kanako-chan," Touko's voice was warm, "please. They're all fine. We're all fine. I'm the only one here. Well, besides Ojii-san, who's working."

"I… I'm leaving now. I'll be there soon."

Kanako dropped the call as she thanked Maria-sama for having fallen asleep in her jeans. She brushed her teeth quickly, then slipped a pair of shoes on, grabbed her jacket and headed toward the garage. The tall girl didn't bother turning the radio on as she rushed around cars on the highway and sped up when greens turned into yellow. Sei would've been proud of Kanako's racing abilities as the drive that was supposed to take an hour and a half only took the dark-haired girl 45 minutes.

When Kanako approached the front of the hospital, she spotted Touko sitting on a bench, looking toward the trees up the hill. Lost in thought, the brunette didn't realize that Kanako had stepped out of her vehicle and had leaned against the passenger door, watching Touko's cloudy eyes and not missing that both of them wore the same clothes from the previous day when they had met at the coffee parlor.

Kanako couldn't take her eyes off of Touko's light-colored jeans that had been tainted with dirt, especially around her knees. She also couldn't help but notice that the dark-blue button down shirt that Touko was wearing had dried bloodstains on the cuffs and a trail of dirt and blood across her chest.

"Touko-chan…" Kanako whispered, trying to get her friend's attention, "Come with me, you must be freezing."

"Kanako-chan…" Touko said, finally moving her gaze from the top of the hill to the tall girl that stood in front of her, "Thank…. thank you for coming. It was too early to worry anyone else."

Kanako watched the short girl stand up and walk toward her, "Here," Kanako said as she opened the car door for her best friend, "Please, get in."

"Thank you," Touko whispered as she stepped into the small car and watched Kanako make her way to the driver's side. Once in, the dark-haired woman reached across Touko, pulling the seatbelt in front of the girl and buckling it. The brunette didn't move, her hands clasped together as if searching for warmth, her shoulders slumped and her gaze down. Kanako buckled her own seatbelt and reaching into her pocket, she withdrew her ipod, plugging the device into her car and pressing play while she drove away.

Touko took a deep breath and looked at Kanako who paid careful attention to the road ahead of her. "Last night," Touko started.

"You don't have to tell me," Kanako said, glancing at Touko with a warm smile then quickly staring back at the road.

"But I want to. Please, let me," Touko said, and at receiving a nod from Kanako, she continued, "Last night, I was waiting for the bus, just where I was sitting when you picked me up… When… When I heard brakes squeal and a really loud bang coming from up the hill," Touko gave Kanako a side smile as the girl turned to face her for another second, silently saying: I'm right here listening. Touko nodded and took a deep breath before going back to her story, "I don't know… the first thing that crossed my mind at that moment was my biological parents, so I ran up the hill as quickly as I could! I had no idea what to expect. I just figured… I just thought I needed to go up there…" Touko felt a knot in her throat keeping her from speaking for a long moment. Tears blurred her vision and holding them in, she pressed on after another deep breath, "When I reached the top of the hill, I saw it… I saw a car, past the ditch in the middle of the trees, upside down… My heart dropped to my stomach, but I ran toward it, without even thinking twice."

"Touko…"

"Kanako-chan, I want to finish. I want to tell you…" Touko said as the first tears finally spilled forth, though she didn't move a muscle to hide them, "I broke the back passenger window with a rock and unlocked the front door, then thank goodness Yuki-kun showed up out of nowhere and helped me unbuckling the driver and dragging the girl out of the car… then we went to the other side and did the same thing to the other girl in the passenger seat… not long after that, Kanano, the car caught on fire… Everything happened so quickly, I didn't even know if that was really what happened or if I was just making things up till Yuki-kun and I sat down for a few minutes and talked earlier this morning."

"Were the girls okay?"Kanako asked.
"Ojii-san and Yuki-kun worked for hours, but they won't know if they'll make it until later when the broken bones, lacerations and internal bleeding are stabilized…"Touko finished as Kanako opened the door to the apartment, "I see…" Kanako answered, then motioned toward the couch, silently asking Touko to sit. "Let me get you a towel and a change of clothes from Nana's so you can change into while we wash your stuff. Is that ok?"

Touko sat on the couch and regarded the tall woman for a second, "Kay," was the shy reply before she looked down on her lap once again.

"Kay," Kanako mimicked the response before heading toward Nana's bedroom and grabbing a change of clothes for Touko. She then went into her bedroom and withdrew the softest towel she could find from her drawer before walking back to the living room and sitting once again by the brunette, "Here, you shoul–"

Before Kanako was able to finish her sentence Touko silenced the girl, pressing her lips against Kanako's. The dark-haired girl stiffened her shoulders and quickly ceased the endearing gesture, "This… Touko… don't. This is not how it's supposed to be. You can't just do that after telling me you couldn't 24 hours ago!"

"I can! I want to! I'm not going to lose you to my stubbornness. I can't! I'm not waiting any longer. If you'll have me, Kanako… I don't want your heart to whither like Yumi's or break like Noriko's. I don't want to be like Shimako, renouncing a lifetime of happiness for years of solitude and misery because I made the wrong decision… No more, Kanako. I'm done with that. I want to be like Yoshino and Rei who were true to one another from the beginning… Those two are the real heroes. The ones who weren't scared of proclaiming their feelings from the start! They are the ones we should strive to be more like. It's easy to be unhappy and drown in self-pity… I don't want to take the easy route…" her shoulders shook with each sob as tears dotted her soiled jeans, "When I broke that window, I noticed a blanket and a basket of food in the backseat of the car… then later on, when we were trying to identify the girls, I found a box with a ring in one of their jackets. My hearts hurt so much for thinking that they might have been heading to a special date and ended up in a ditch. My hearts hurt so much for thinking that there were important things that those girls might not be able to ask one another, and feelings they might not be able to share anymore…"

"Touko-chan…"

"I'm done waiting, Kanako. And to think I don't even know what I am waiting for makes things even worse!"

"Please," Kanako pleaded as a rush of tears blurred her vision, "Touko, stop!" She whimpered.

"I won't stop until you tell me you love me," Touko cried out.

"But."
"Please! The brunette demanded through clenched teeth.

"Tou–"

"You never said it… You know… You never rea– "

"I love you," Kanako cut Touko's rant, "I have for a while. I don't know when it became more than friendship, but I think that's exactly why this is more than what I have ever expected from love. I never really fell for you. There was never a specific moment that sparked within me letting me know I had fallen for you. And although that transformation was so subtle, it still flooded my heart completely with a love that is so strong, I can't even explain properly." With that last sentence Touko's lips crashed upon Kanako's, though this time Kanako wrapped her arms around the brunette's small waist, bringing her even closer. Touko's lips parted, welcoming Kanako's shy but daring tongue, which explored ever so slowly the other girl's mouth. Touko's lips tasted of coffee, her hair smelled like hospital, her skin like ether and to Kanako those were the most incredible fragrances, because… well… they came from Touko.

As the bathroom door slowly opened and Touko's figure appeared wrapped in a towel, Kanako was brought back from the memory of their first kiss.

"You made coffee?" Touko asked.

"Yeah, I can get you some if you want?"
"I just brushed my teeth… I'll get some after I fix my hair. Is everyone still asleep?"

"Yeah."

"How long have you been sitting here for?"
"I don't know… Ever since Cannon in D Minor started to play,"

"Kan-chan,"

"Yes,"

"It's been on repeat… the entire time…"

"Oh… Just like I did that day…"

"And just like you did that day, you didn't pay attention."

"…All I could think of was you, Touko."