Chapter 3 : The Secret Reason

Snape was furious. How could Dumbledore do that? How could he? How dared he? Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! He felt like a three year old who has just found out Santa doesn't exist. Lied and manipulated. And he didn't like it one bit. He was Severus Snape, for crying out loud. War-hero. Double – agent for 17 years! How dared Dumbledore do that to him?

He sweared and cursed all the way to the Dungeons. He burst into his office and through it into his private chambers. He paid no attention to the protective wards he usually put up when he was there. He was so angry! He went to the cupboard and poured himself a glass of Firewhisky. He was keeping it for a special occasion but heck this was more important. How could Dumbledore bring her here? And she was to replace him! Teach in the classroom, he knew, she once despised. He sat down in his favorite chair by the fire and played with the glass. He watched the flames dance on the other side of the glass, melting together with the red Firewhisky. She couldn't really hate it. After all she was coming back to teach.

But if he had any say in it, she wouldn't be coming back at all. She had no business teaching his class. He loved Defense against the Dark Arts. It was his passion, what he longed to teach for so long and he was happy that Dumbledore let him teach it now, but…. He also adored Potions. And she who never knew anything more but to make potions from a book…. She wasn't fit to teach. The students were amazed to hear him speak with love about the Dark Arts, but they never understood in was the same with potions. It was a growing matter, constantly developing and you can not but read the instructions from a book. You have to think for yourself while making the potions. Realize how you can improve it. Give it your own touch.

He knew she was not capable to do that. He knew that she had refused using his notes in the book Harry found. She kept to the original instructions. Nothing is better than what's in the book. He smirked. That was so shallow. To rely only on books. And she had after all just graduated. Barely 19 years old. Too young to teach. But on second thought he was young to when he started teaching here. A bit older than she was now. No that wasn't a good enough reason.

But after all this thoughts came the one he despised the most. The real reason why he didn't want her to come here. It wasn't the teaching or her inexperience. But no that couldn't be it. He forced the thought out of his head and took another sip of Firewhisky. Its taste washed away all the previous thoughts. He had to stop thinking about all of this. Dumbledore was stubborn and he would never change his mind about it and she was too keen to learn and had probably accepted the job by now. That thought brought unease to his stomach. He got up, put the glass on the table and started taking off his clothes. He put the robes on the hanger and took of his shirt and trouser and put them in the dresser. Usually he slept naked. He loved the feel of the warm sheets around his cold body. Pulling of the covers, he tucked himself into bed. He drifted slowly into dreamland, trying not to think about her. But apparently that was impossible.

He woke up the next morning covered in cold sweat. His dreams had been filled with all the things he was most afraid of. And he was not a man who had fears. But this…. this…. He dared not think of it. The clock on the wall showed that it was a bit later than when he usually woke up.

"Never mind that" He thought to himself. "I have to find a way to deal with this."

But no solutions came to his mind as he dressed himself, as he worked his way to his potions laboratory, as he worked on the last potions for the infirmary for the new school year and even as he went to bed in the evening. It seems as though this was not a situation he could solve. The only thing he could do was be himself. The Snape she knew. And perhaps she wouldn't find out what was going on inside of him.

A/N : I thought that a bit of Snape was in order :D
Tnx to my beta Lost O'Fallon Girl for the help :) I really make stupid mistakes sometimes :D
Hope you enjoy it :)
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