I was posting this on another site before but since moving it to here have been re-editing some of the chapters. This is just a short one to sort of set the scene for the next part of the story, thanks for the feedback : ) Just keep in mind that this is an angsty story, it's what I write. The vampires will be explained soon-ish…

Eric runs his hand down my arm, goosebumps appear where he has touched.

He leans down, near my ear and flicks his tongue out.

I moan and wrap my arms around his neck, drawing him closer.

He smiles and his fangs are out, I feel an ache inside deep down.

He knows I want this but he teases, only grazing the skin of my neck.

I giggle as it tickles and playfully swat at him.

Again he leans down to my ear and whispers in my ear.

"Where are you hiding little rabbit?"

I pull his head up and look at him confused. I don't understand what he is talking about.

"Why would you leave?" He asks.

His eyes have a hardness to them and suddenly his grip on my wrists isn't playful anymore, it's hard and it hurts.

"Answer me."

I can't. I don't know what he is talking about. He looks angry. I am scared.

He leans down at the curve in my neck and bites hard.

I open my mouth and scream.

"Liv! Liv! Wake up! You're scaring me!"

I hear a panicked voice.

My eyes fly open wide and Sarah's worried face is hovering above mine, my throat feels raw from screaming. She bites her lip as her thoughts come rushing out at me - why is she screaming again? What happened to her? I'm scared - I quickly block them and take heavy breaths to calm down. She relaxes her hold on me and turns to sit on the bed. I sit up after my breathing is calm. Another dream, I thought they would have stopped by now.

"Oliva. What…-Look I know we haven't known each other that long but this isn't the first time this has happened." She looks over at me and I feel bad.

I should have chosen to live alone. I get it, she is worried and scared - not just for me but for herself. She pushes her dark red hair behind one ear and faces me, taking my hands in hers looking at me expectantly.

"I'm really sorry Sarah, there are just some things that happened and…look I know it may not seem like it but I really am trying to work through it all. Please don't worry, I am fine. I really am." I squeeze her hand and smile reassuringly in the hopes that she will drop the conversation. She is not completely convinced but nods her head and leaves me alone.

I get out of the bed and walk towards the window, almost on instinct I probe the empty spot where the bond used to sit inside of me, it is no longer there of course - thanks amelia - but I feel for it anyway. In this moment I want it all back just so I can have him come to my window, hold me in his arms and whisper promises of beautiful things. It amazes me how he still has such a presence in my dreams and thoughts…even now, it has been two and a half years since I last saw him but he is still there in the back of my mind taunting me with the memories of us and who I used to be.

I look out the window and even though it is 2am, the streets are still bustling. New York, New York. The city that never sleeps, the place that is big enough to get lost in.

It has been roughly a year since the incident in Detroit, since then I moved around faster never staying more than a week anywhere, always watching my back. I never heard or saw those vampires again and when I arrived in New York I knew I could run no longer, I just felt like I didn't have it in me anymore. I was so lonely by this point that I didn't even care anymore if they found me. I needed human contact.

I head towards the kitchen of the apartment I share with my roommate Sarah, I run the tap before filling a glass of wait and smile thinking about her. She is an aspiring actress (of course), hopelessly romantic (but currently single) and from a small wee town on the west coast. I think that's why we clicked so well, both small town girls with big dreams of finding themselves in this crazy city. She is a redhead, emotional and protective and I am very lucky to have found her. She is not of the few people that I have let myself have a connection to, she was just so open and so honest when I answered her ad in the paper about the apartment that I couldn't really say no when she offered me the room. I felt like I needed some of her positivity in my life and have not regretted the decision one bit.

Since being here in New York I have gradually gone back to brunette but a warmer chocolate brown, my hair is longer now with a blunt fringe. My fashion sense has changed too, you can't really help it living here, so many beautiful things I actually started to become interested in what I was wearing and what was out there. Pam would approve I am sure.

The familiar pang that follows a thought about my past grips my insides. It sneaks up on me sometimes - thoughts of them - I could be doing the most mundane task and all of a sudden I will remember something - the way Jason used to tug on my braids when we were kids, Gran's apple pie smell wafting around the house, gossiping about J.B, the way eric would rest his head over my heart after we made love… - and the pang will follow, sometimes it is so crippling I cur and other times I push it away and ignore it. It's the least I deserve really, for deserting them all with no real explanation.

Claude came to me not long after Detroit, I woke one night to a soft feathery touch on my cheek and when I opened my eyes his beautiful face was looking down on me. We didn't say anything, he just held my hand a little and brushed a kiss to my forehead. And then with a 'pop' he was gone and I was left to cry myself to sleep, it was comforting and painful at the same time to know that Claude of all people actually cared about me. But I guess I still had someone out there.

I finish another glass of water before heading back to bed to put a stop to these late night musings but when I curl up in my blankets and eventually drift off to sleep, I dream of Sookie Stackhouse and the life she lead and the people in it.