My Name is Sara Sidle
Chapter Four: Soon
My due date is coming up very soon. In one month to be exact. Ever since I met Jerry and Kellie I've been feeling much better about my decision to place my daughter up for adoption. I've been happier lately, Fabian has been happier, I've been with the crew more. I haven't lost contact with Farrah, she had her baby. His name is Olive. I visited her in the hospital, he was too cute. She's keeping her kid. I know she's going to struggle. She told me she would.
Kellie, Jerry and I have discussed how often I would be able to visit. I would be able to visit them five times a year for one week! I think that's perfect. That's more than I would have asked for. I'm very grateful that they are so generous to me. Today I'm going to my midwife to discuss signs of labor. I'm 33 weeks.
Fabian is just dropping me off; he's going to hang out with the crew. After I'm through with my appointment he is going to pick me up so the crew can talk to me too. I know this pregnancy is tough on everyone, but it was ultimately my decision.
Fabian knocked on my door.
"Come in"
"Hey you almost ready"
I put my barely fitting jacket on and nodded. Fabian walked over to me and pulled me onto my feet. I can barely move around any more and it really sucks.
"Yeah lets go" I waddled and Fabian stayed close behind.
I walked in the living room where Katie was all doused up in her winter wear, chewing on her teething ring. She looked at me.
"Ducky" she said, taking notice on the way I was waddling.
I laughed and picked her up.
Fabian nudged us outside. I handed Katie off to Fabian and got in the front seat, while Fabian strapped Katie in. Then he hopped in the front seat.
He began to drive then he turned to me "So you ready to have that kid?"
"Yeah, kinda" I said. My back was constantly aching, my feet and ankles were swelling, I was throwing up at all times. And I miss my baby even though she's still with me.
"It'll be okay SaraBear"
I smiled at him. It was a forced smile, but he didn't seem to notice.
Fifteen minutes later he pulled up in front of the OB-GYN office and kissed me on the cheek.
"See you in a bit"
"Bye Faabs" (pronounced Feybz)
I got out of the car and slung my simple brown purse on my shoulder and listened to the snow crunching beneath my feet. I was greeted by a rush of warm air when I walked into the office. I walked up to the check in desk.
"Hi Tweetie" I said
She looked up and smiled "Oh hey Sara, you're early, I think Dr. Harold is with another patient but I'll let her know you're here"
I smiled and nodded. Dr. Harold was great to me. She gave me lots of tips during my pregnancy and helped me at all hours of the day. She was aware of my situation.
I sat down and pulled my book out of my purse and read quietly as I waited my turn.
"Oh I can't wait for our little baby to get here" A women and her husband walked towards the door of the waiting room holding pictures of the recent sonogram.
Tears stung my eyes but I told my self to stay strong. I continued to read.
"Sara?" my doctor called out
I attempted to get up several times, but I kept faltering back. I sighed as my doctor pulled me up. Luckily there was only one other person there to witness.
We walked back to her office. She sat in her chair and I pulled myself onto the examining table.
"So Sara you are 33 weeks, correct?" Dr. Harold asked
"Yes" I nodded once
She turned to me in her chair and looked up from my file. "So the first thing you need to know is when you hit 35 weeks you could go into labor at anytime"
I got butterflies in my stomach, and it wasn't the baby. I nodded "Okay"
She smiled at my nervousness in a motherly kind of way "Okay signs of labor" she crossed her legs one over the other. "Well as far as contractions go, they should feel like horrible menstrual cramps. Call me immediately when they begin so I can get prepped okay?"
I nodded. I'm horrified of giving birth. I want have my baby naturally, but I'm horrified of the excruciating I'll be in.
"About 72 hours before you go into labor you'll have a bloody show"
I cringed
"It's a vaginal discharge, particularly a mucous type discharge"
"Of course your water will break. It has a distinct smell and it shouldn't be painful"
"You may not have contractions but you could have Braxton Hicks, do you know what those are sweetie?"
I nodded.
"And then you could be nauseas, diarrhea, restlessness, or irritable"
I nodded. I really didn't know what to say.
I waddled to Fabian's car and climbed in. I had a look of terror in my eyes.
"What's wrong SaraBear?" he leaned in and kissed me on the cheek.
"I don't know Fabian"
"You wanna talk?"
I was silent. "No"
"We will later" he kissed my temple, and drove off to the house where all the crew was waiting for us.