Chapter 4

I looked around, searching for any traces of my dad. It was pretty silent and I faintly heard a noise which sounded like bottles clinking together. I let the door come to a close quietly and tried to get up the stairs, into my room. I scurried through the dark hallway, towards the end of it and saw a figure standing in my doorway. I halted and waited, I don't know why I was waiting. Nothing special was going to happen. Maybe I just thought something had finally clicked in my father's mind and he would just wrap his arms around my frail body, hug and kiss me, explaining he was sorry and loved me and would never hurt me again. Very often, when we hit me, I saw that look on his face when he heard my shrieks and yelps. It heart broke me to see him like that because deep down in my heart, I knew he still loved me like he once had before when I was little. But, the thing that made me even more upset was that, I still loved him, even thought he would do terrible things to me everyday. I loved him so much and yet, I hated him so much. And I never knew which emotion was stronger: love or hatred.

I began walking towards my doorway, knowing he would be there, waiting for me.

"Amber," He firmly said, grabbing my wrist and pulling me into my room, which was pitch black. His grip hurt me, but I didn't show it…where would it get me? "I'm not ever happy with you…" He breathed in my face. It smelled completely of alcohol. He was drunk, which meant it wouldn't be that miserable tonight because he usually couldn't get his balance and ended up crashing on my floor after falling over. I was silent.

"You just ran off, you little bitch…" He whispered into my face, followed by a shove backwards. He lunged forward and punched me hard against the cheek. It caused me to fall down, clutching my face with tiny whimpers. I already tasted blood. Maybe this would be a bad beating. He yanked my shirt collar and pulled me back up to his face, only for him to swear at me more and call me cuss words.

"You fucking worthless piece of shit!" He yelled at my face, shaking me with both hands, clenching my arms. "I hate you!" He threw me across the room, still with all the lights off. I crashed into that fucking mattress and screamed. My ribs ached and more blood soaked my gums and tongue. I curled into a ball and ran my fingers along my rib cage, praying none had snapped. He stomped over to me and began kicking my body all over: the head, neck, stomach legs. Anything he knew would hurt me. He gave a good, hard kick to my pelvic area and I felt immediate pain. I sucked in a huge breath and began crying even harder. I felt as if something had just been stabbed into me and I was dying. I tried crawling somewhat away from him, but he just pulled me by my hair, so I wouldn't be able to get further away. I went back into my ball position and faced the open window. I could see Chris' house. He knew exactly what I was experiencing and I remembered the advice I had told him. I wondered if he had told his old man to fuck off yet. That is what I needed to do, too. I had to, this pain was unbearable. He raced closer to me and picked me up by my head. I tried to pull away but that caused him to pull harder on my neck and it hurt even more. He threw my face back into the wooden floor and backed away. He hated me. I fucking hated him. I held my neck, feeling the pain throbbing throughout the entire thing.

"You slimy basterd…" I heard myself whisper. He stayed where he was, I don't think he heard. He sighed heavily and stormed out, slamming the door behind him. My whole body ached with pain. I felt like dying. Why should I even try going on with life? I should just let him kill me. I sat up, feeling the misery my body was in. I managed to limp onto my bed and sunk in. The moonlight shun onto me. I knew I looked horrible. I would get out of this place later, after they were passed out. I would put my make-up on and walk somewhere, covering up the truth.

Only after an hour or two passes, the entire house completely silenced. I decided to go see what I looked like. I entered the bathroom to get the full view. My face had a red mark on my cheek, under my black eye, other than that, it did look bad. I grabbed my cover-up, opened it, and began. But, as I stared at that girl in the mirror, I saw how helpless she looked, it made me sick. I was pathetic. Tears fell down my face but I managed to quickly put the cover-up on. I needed to do this in case anybody saw me. I just couldn't take the risk. I finished and quietly sneaked downstairs and slipped out the door.

The night was cool and re-freshing. My sneakers squeaked as I walked through a few puddles, but I made it to the tree house in a few minutes. I was more familiar with the way to it now. I climbed up the ladder and was surprised by what I saw. Teddy was lying on his back, reading a comic book, with a cigarette in his mouth. He jerked his head over to me and looked shocked,

"Damn, you really are following me…" He laughed. "What you doin' here? It's late."

"I could ask you the same thing…" I replied, sitting down across from, trying not to show my pain. He sat up and placed his comic on the pile with the others.

"I couldn't sleep and got bored." He explained, while crushing his cigarette out. "You?"

"I just needed to get away…" I responded. He nodded and we just stared at each other in silence. I always hated when there were those, silent awkward moments. I turned away, embarrassed and giggled. Teddy smiled back and sighed, over-dramatically. I shifted my position so I was leaning back on my hands and stretching my legs out in front of me. I looked up, examining the tree house and I saw, out of the corner of my eye, Teddy inching closer, squinting through his glasses, at me.

"What you lookin' at?" I asked.

"Amber, what happened to your neck?" Teddy questioned very slowly, eyeing me with a very serious look. I remembered my dad groped my neck. Had he held me so hard that there were bruises? And if so, how had I missed them? No way. I pulled my collar up, hiding the marks.

"Nothing…" I mumbled and sat up, bringing my knees close to my chest.

"Amber, those were bruises…what the fuck happened? They weren't there a couple of hours ago." He urged. He just wouldn't let it go.

"I fell down the stairs..." I quickly lied. I needed to change the subject before I said something. "So, how long have you four had this tree house?" Teddy's face was unreadable but he answered anyway: "We all built it a few years back. By ourselves. We all decided we needed a cool place to hang out at, and thus, this tree house was created."

"That's so neat. Back in Chicago, there used to be this place called The Shack. It was just this hangout place everybody went to to smoke weed and shit…it was always getting raided by the cops though." I replied. I remembered The Shack. So many things happened there, some good and some bad.

"I've always wondered what that green stuff felt like to smoke…" Teddy admitted.

"Trust me; you're not missing out on anything special."

"You've smoked weed before?" Teddy asked, shocked.

"Yeah! Damn, you really have never seen any girl smoke before, have you?"

"Well, no…'cause all the girls in this town are all stupid bitches that never wanna have any fun…" I laughed. "Well, all the girls, except you…you're pretty cool." Teddy smiled at me and I rolled my eyes.

"Pass me a cig." I stated. Teddy pulled out the pack in his back pocket and gave one to me and tossed me the lighter. He eyed me with a smirk. He pulled himself out one and lit it. He blew out a breath of smoke and studied me.

"You know, this is random, but, your hair color goes good with your eyes…" He smiled and his face was a little red. That made me smile, really big because nobody ever said positive things about my hair and eyes combination. I had light brown hair that fell a bit past my shoulders. People were always saying: If you only had red hair, your eyes would be so much prettier.

"Thanks," I grinned. It made me feel really good and special inside, something I hadn't felt in a long, long time.

"Don't be embarrassed," He laughed. I hadn't realized the blush that was spread across my entire face. I laughed it away and we were silent. Again. The silence reminded me of the silence that covered my house, like a giant blanket.

"You know," I began. "Sometimes I just wish I could get away…away from all the crap that deals with my parents. I wish I could just float high above everyone else, not having to worry about any bad things happening…"

"Yeah, I know what you mean. Like, if you could just escape the thing you call life, maybe things would be okay…if your dad wasn't some guy everyone thought was a madman…and burned your ear off, Maybe, just maybe things would be different…" I was shocked. I never knew that this Teddy Duchamp could be so deep. And we just opened all up to me, even though we hadn't even known each other for more than a day. I looked over at him and saw the tears falling from his eyes. He was trying to wipe them away quickly, trying not to let me see what a "pussy" he was being, but the tears were just coming out harder.

"Teddy," I whispered and crawled over to him, not knowing if I should touch him or not. I finally decided to wrap an arm around his shoulders and lean my head against his. I felt his sobs falling and I felt his breaths shortening and quickening as he cried harder.

"He's not a bad guy really," He cried. "He's a good fucking man…people just don't know him." He sobbed harder and took his glasses off, rubbing his eyes.

"Teddy," I continued. "I believe you when you say that, even though the others may not…I mean, he did storm the Normandy beach. Right?" I finished with a chuckle. He half-laughed. It was better than nothing. I couldn't stand to see others cry; it broke my heart and made me feel like crying.

"Nobody understands…" He whispered. I sucked in a breath. I did. I understood how you could love somebody so much even though that person caused you so much anguish.

"I do…" I whispered back. "Teddy," I was going to tell him. He looked into my face and I saw all the tears covering his eyes. I decided not to.

"What?" He whispered, with said eyes.

"I just, I understand…really…I understand you completely." I said with a low voice, not looking at him. He sniffled and wiped his eyes.

"Everything is going to be alright…I promise...you know why?" I questioned, looking back to his face.

"Why?"

"'Cause you have us…" I smiled. "You have me." He smiled back and wiped the tears and put his glasses back on. I rubbed his arm.

"All better now?" He nodded and looked at me with his eyes, not saying a word.

"Good." I broke the silence.

"Amber," He started. "I'm glad you're here now…in Castle Rock." He smiled a smile similar to Chris'.

"Yeah, me too." I answered. He just smiled at me and I giggled. I never thought I would see Teddy cry and so soon after just meeting him, but now I had.

"And I really did mean what I said before…your brown hair does look beautiful with your yellow-greenish eyes." He stated, staring straight into my eyes. My heart sped up and I felt awesome. I never knew something as simple as that could make me feel that way. I blushed and looked back down at my fingers.

"Thanks Teddy." I smiled back and looked back towards him. His face was right in front of mine; his breath was against my cheeks. His facial features up close were beautiful. Something changed inside of me and I suddenly, wanted to kiss him. He studied me and half-smiled. We both turned away at the same time, embarrassed. We ended up laughing, but his laugh over powered mine: Eeee-eee-eeeee! We finished our laughing fit and just talked about his father. I studied his face and knew this was going to be something special.