School supply shopping wasn't something Dean had done in years, and he was only doing it now at the request of Lisa who was swamped with business right now and couldn't take Ben out. School was starting in five days, and the whole house seemed to be shifting into gear.

When Dean was young school had always been an inconvenience, never something that was prepared for, it was something that took time out of a hunt, forced Sam and Dean to be by themselves for extended periods of time while John was out on a hunt.

But for Ben and Lisa it seemed to be something that they both looked forward to and dreaded and began preparing for weeks in advance. This living with people, normal people, was taking a lot to get used to and he was afraid that he never would.

Ben and Dean found themselves in the school supply isle at Target, list in Dean's hand, and Ben equipped with little hands eager to touch and grab for things on the shelf.

"Well, you need pencils." Dean said and looked around for pencils. He found the yellow #2 pencils and picked them up. Those were the ones he always bought for Sam, the ones that were generic and cheep, and the ones that Sam would be forced to use until there was nothing left except a small nub too small to sharpen by a pencil sharpener, and Dean would have to sharpen gently with his pocket knife. Dean felt the wad of cash in his pocket. He made money now, he had enough for the more expensive kinds, he could afford whatever Ben wanted. He didn't have to have the cheep yellow #2s he could have anything he wanted.

"You want these?" Dean asked holding up the pack of pencils that had served his baby brother.

"I like the mechanical ones. They last longer." Dean nodded.

"Pick out the ones that you want." Ben picked up a pack and handed it to Dean, and he surreptitiously glanced at the price, 10 dollars for a pack of twelve. Sam had wanted these in high school, but there was never money. He picked up an additional pack and threw it into the cart. Ben was going to get the best money could buy. He wasn't going to be forced to tape something together and hope that it lasted. Ben would be prepared, he would be stylish, he would have what he wanted in addition to the bare necessities. And with that resolution, Dean did some seriously hard core school supply shopping.

Lisa was surprised when she arrived home and Dean and Ben weren't. Dean called her right before they left for the store, Dean insisted on letting her know exactly where he was taking her son, and she hadn't heard from them since. It was almost 6, they couldn't have spent the last six hours school supply shopping. God knew that it was one part of the getting ready for school process that she hated, and had learned over the years how to make it as quick and painless as possible.

Worried, she dug in her purse for her cell phone and dialed Dean's number. "Hey." Came his smooth sexy voice.

"Where are you guys?"

"We are on our way home now. Actually just about to turn onto the street now."

"Kay." They both hung up and true to his word she heard his car pull into the driveway, and after some rustling and talking and doors closing the two entered the house laden with bags. Her eyes widened.

"What is all of this?" she asked and gestured to the multitude of bags now littering the kitchen table.

"The school supplies he needed." Dean said. Lisa walked to the table and started picking through the bags, pulling out one subject notebooks that had "Five Star First Gear" emblazoned on the plastic cover, and pens that had brand names on them. "Then I took him to get some school clothes."

"Dean…what…he doesn't need all of this." She said beginning to calculate the money this must have cost, and it was in the hundreds surly.

"We got everything on the list."

"And then some." She mumbled as she pulled out a Jansport backpack. Her brows furrowed, she and Ben had agreed that he would continue to use the backpack that she had bought in the middle of last year, because it still had some good wear in it. Then she saw the clothes, they were from the mall, and they were things that Lisa had told him were too expensive to buy, that he would have to make do with the department store things that they picked up earlier in the month. She was going to have to talk to Dean about this. They were going to have to take some of this back, and she was going to have to be the bad guy.

SNSNSNSN

Ben was up in his room playing video games and Lisa and Dean were in the kitchen cleaning up after supper. She sighed, handed him a dish and decided to begin the conversation that she really didn't want to have.

"Dean. We have to take back some of that stuff."

"Why?"

"I can't afford it."

"It's on me. No big deal." He shrugged and put the plate away.

"It is a big deal. I told him that he couldn't have all of that stuff. He can't just get whatever he wants."

"Why not?"

"Dean…" She sighed and turned to him. "Money doesn't buy love."

Dean's eyes turned confused and hurt. "Are you accusing me of trying to buy Ben's love?" Lisa simply raised an eyebrow in questioning. "I can't believe you. Whatever. Fine. But I'm not taking it back. You aren't either. He deserves those things. You can think whatever you want, but damn Lis, we've been living together for four months now, and you don't know me better than that by now?" He threw the dish towel down and stalked out of the kitchen and outside.

She held onto the counter with both hands and leaned in sighed. She hit the counter with her palms and then went after Dean.

"Dean, we aren't doing this. We talk about things around here."

"Yeah, we do everything your way. We do everything the "normal" way. And everything about me gets swept under the rug. My car isn't something we can drive around, I need to dress more like an adult, I can't buy Ben things that he wants. Do you want anything about me?"

"Dean….come on. I didn't say any of those things. I just…"

"Want me to be the man you want, and not who I am."

"I never asked you to be someone different."

"Whatever."

"Dean." She said and put her hand on his shoulder. He shrugged it off. "Dean." She tried again. He didn't answer; he just went back to tinkering with the toy of Ben's that had broken the other day. She took a breath and held it, and turned and went back inside.

She didn't see hide nor hair of him the rest of the evening, and Ben had to go out to the garage to say goodnight to him. She only heard Dean come into the room after the lights were out and she was cuddled deep into the covers. He sat down on his side of the bed. She wondered if he was just going to sit there or actually go to bed when he started to speak.

"I bought Ben whatever he wanted because it was something I always wanted to do for Sammy." There were tears in his voice, but she was sure they weren't on his face. Dean hadn't cried since the first night he showed up at her door. "Sammy loved school, and I watched him look at all of those cool school supplies with a hunger. He wanted them, but he knew better than to ask for them, because he knew we couldn't afford them, and he knew that I would buy them for him if he asked, and I would do without something…food, clothes something. So he never asked. But I wanted to give him that kind of stuff. I wanted him to be able to have the cool pens, or pencils, or a new book bag that I didn't have to repair before the school year started, or one like the other kids." Dean paused. Lisa sat up and starred at his bent shoulders.

"He was my responsibility and I felt like I let him down in so many different ways. And with Ben it feels like it is a chance to do things right. A way to make up for all of the things I couldn't provide or give to my little brother." Dean's voice hitched. "And it's too late now. He's gone. I can't make it right with him. But I want to make it right by Ben."

Lisa nodded. "Okay." Her voice softer than she wanted. "Okay. Just this time though Dean. Next time, you check with me. You aren't a single parent anymore. You have to bounce it off of me." Dean froze. She was right. All of those years he had acted like a single parent for Sam. He had never noticed, but she was right. And it made it all worse. If Sam was his child then he should have treated him better, mocked him less, encouraged more, been happier when he went to Stanford, and less inclined to pull him from the life, and no parent would have allowed their child to be possessed by the devil himself and die, Ellen hadn't let Joe die alone, but he had allowed Sam to die and he remained standing. What a craptastic parent he had turned out to be.