Disclaimer: I do not own Avatar: The Last Airbender.

Previously:

A single tear formed in the corner of his eye but refused to fall. He had always known that the Fire Lord was merciless, but this went beyond anything that he had ever known him to do.

"It could have been worse though,"

"I could have fought back and revealed that I'm the Avatar."

"And then I would have been dead."

Hidden Secret

"Speaking"

"Thinking"

Memories

Chapter 4

Wandering

They had been at sea for no more than three weeks and already Iroh was worried for his nephew. Due to previous experience he had expected the prince to yell and demand that they head for the Air Temples in search of the Avatar as soon as Iroh had told him about his father's stipulation of him being able to go home.

Unnervingly, however, Zuko had remained silent for a wile before quietly telling his uncle that he needed to think. It was like the hotheaded, angry young man that he had thought he knew before had just vanished, to be replaced by a quiet, thoughtful teenager with eyes older than many of the retired generals he had met. His first week Zuko had seemed to wander around in a daze, his eyes cloudy and his hand constantly reaching up to touch the bandage before jerking back again when the pain reminded him of what had happened.

The week after had Iroh even more worried. The boy had come out of his daze and was jumping at every shadow that so much as moved in his direction. Even the crew had become weary of approaching him because of the random bouts of flames that would be sent their way. One of the crew even swore that when he had approached the prince the bucket of water in the corner had slid across the floor toward him, but the rest of the crew passed this off as the boat tilting at the moment.

This last week, however, was the most unsettling. Zuko had become quiet again and the door to his cabin was almost always locked and bolted closed. When Iroh did see him he was meditating on the deck. The Zuko that he had known back at the palace, the Zuko he had been prepared to deal with, was not this Zuko. It was as if the boy's entire personality had been a mask that he wore around his family.

It scared Iroh to think about what had caused his nephew to become someone that he was not and was only now showing his true self.

He had not always been around for his nephew and more often then not when he caught his nephew with his sister after his mother disappeared he had ignored the panicked glances that his nephew had shot at him, writing them off as him being paranoid. But now that Iroh thought about it he wasn't so sure. Those brief flashes of emotion that Iroh had seen may have been the only time that he had seen through his nephew's mask of indifference and anger.

Looking out of his cabin window Iroh sighed as he once again saw his nephew meditating on deck. He hesitated for a moment, trying to determine what his nephew's reaction would be if he joined him. Before they had left and Zuko had woken Iroh would have said that he would be yelled at, but he had to admit that he didn't really know his nephew like he had thought he did.

His feet squeaked on the metal of the deck as he slid into place next to Zuko. He could never get his footsteps to be near silent like his nephew could without even trying. On second glance his nephew was not meditating, but merely looking out over the deep blue of the ocean to where the sun touched the water, spreading great arcs of reflected flames over the cool liquid. His eyes were unseeing of the beauty of what he was watching, too deeply immersed in his thoughts too notice.

Iroh cleared his throat, "It's a beautiful sunset tonight, nephew," he said softly.

Zuko blinked as he was brought back from his thoughts, for the first time seeing the scene in front of him. A small, sad smile bloomed over his face, the first genuine one the Iroh had seen since they had gotten on the ship. "Yes," he whispered softly, "It is. 'Like the beauty of the fiery sun setting on the ocean, the small things in life are often the most cherished'."

Iroh blinked in surprise. "I didn't know that you had read The Teachings of Ayumu Rei."

Zuko's eyes turned sad and his face closed off again, "No, you wouldn't have known," he got up and bowed to his uncle, "Goodnight uncle. 'Keep your thoughts turned to the ever burning fire and let it inspire you in your dreams'."

Iroh watched his nephew go with a considering gaze. Maybe things weren't as they seemed, but at least his nephew was improving.

Maybe he still had hope for a better future.

0~o~0

They were going to be pulling into an EarthKingdom port occupied by Firenation in about half an hour. Zuko could see the stretch land looming in front of the ship. Though he was the Avatar he just wasn't used to being near water all of the time with so little earth.

Bending water had always come easy to him, bending earth was hard to comprehend, and air was as illusive as ever, but they all called to him, whispering secrets into his mind just low enough that he could not understand.

The boat pulled into dock and the captain came out. On seeing the prince he bowed with a slightly weary look. Zuko had been shooting fireballs at anyone who had even come close to him the week before and had almost had an accident with using the water on one of the younger members of the crew. He was thankful that the rest of the crew had blamed it on the rocking of the ship.

"Permission to go ashore, my Prince?" Captain Jee said, breaking Zuko from his thoughts.

"Hmm?" Zuko replied, "Oh, yes of course Captain. I think that we should all stretch our legs for a little wile. Just remember to leave in shifts so that no one leaves the ship unguarded."

The Captain blinked at him in confusion for a moment, as if not expecting him to agree, before nodding, "Of course, Prince Zuko."

The Captain left again and Zuko sighed, looking out over the slightly burned homes and the people walking pass who would glance at the ship with fear. Zuko hated that fearful gaze. This was not how it was supposed to be. The Firenation was always taught that they were bringing peace and prosperity to the rest of the world by taking over, but Zuko could not see it.

"'A war started with good intentions is still a war.'" Zuko quoted softly. He had started reading many books over the past few years, trying to gain a better understanding of what was going on in the world. Many of these books had been left behind in his hidden cavern when he was banished as he had not even been given time to wake up before they had to leave.

Zuko got up, feeling his cramped muscles protest to the sudden movement after sitting still for so long. With a sigh he made his way back to his cabin where he quickly dressed in his dark, earth green cloths, grateful that his uncle had at least brought his bag that he kept packed full of essentials he could grab if he ever had too flee in a hurry. If he was going to be wandering he wasn't going to be doing it at the prince of the Firenation. He had already left a note for him uncle not to expect him until morning. His last peace of clothing was a long, dark green traveling cloak with a hood that covered his face and still healing burn. His uncle said that the bandage would be able to come off in a few days but that there would be a scar.

Swinging his bag over his shoulder Zuko slipped off of the ship and into the harbor as he made his way into the town. This time, without his armor or anything else marking him as Firenation, people didn't so much as give him a second glance. He slipped through the crowd unnoticed, none of the people realizing that they had just walked past the Avatar who was also consequently the prince of the Firenation.

He wandered around for a bit, buying a little food from the vendors and put it in his bag for later. When he wandered past the blacksmith's shop he saw some good quality Dual Dao swords, which were also known as the twin broadswords. Wile he was examining them the blacksmith came up from the back room wiping his hands on a dirty cloth that really needed a good washing as it seemed to be making the man's hands dirtier rather than cleaner.

"I see you have your eye on those swords young man, are you interested in learning to use one?" the blacksmith rumbled in a deep voice.

Zuko sighed, "I used to have a pair myself before I was forced to leave them behind when I left my home," it was the truth, just not the whole truth.

The blacksmith blinked, "I'm sorry for your loss. The Firenation has caused us EarthKingdom folk much pain over the years, and you're not the only one to feel their wrath."

Zuko twitched and was grateful that the cloak hid most of his movements. "How much is it for the swords?"

The blacksmith shook his head, "They are normally around fifty gold peaces but these have been sitting on that wall so long that I'll give them to you for twenty."

Zuko nodded and pulled out his purse, counting out the money and giving it to the blacksmith in return for the two swords.

Twenty minutes later he was swinging himself up on top of one of the abandoned buildings, his new swords strapped diagonally across his back, so that he could watch the sunset and eat what he had bought earlier in the day. The sun was sending out wave after beautiful wave of bright colors that painted the bottom of the clouds in reds, oranges, and pinks.

The wind tugged playfully at his hair and he could feel the dirt beneath his feet and hands hum with life. The water he could hear, pushing and pulling on the shore. And the fire danced inside of him, an ever beating heart that moved in time with the other elements.

Fire was the heart, water was the blood, earth was the flesh, and air was the thoughts of the mind. They all worked together in harmony. He didn't get why most people didn't understand. It was so simple.

"'Separation is an illusion.' Just as the Dual Dao swords are only whole when they are together, the nations are all one being and must work together to bring peace. Just as one can not think of the blades as separate, but one, and both must move in accordance with each other."

He stayed on that roof for the rest of the night, pondering the complexities of the world. When the first rays of the sun had touched the mountain he had already gone from the roof and slipped back onto the ship.

The next morning when his uncle asked the guards if they had seen him come back only for them scratch their heads in confusion, he smiled secretly from his place in the shadows and stepped out, surprising both his uncle and the guards. It was fun messing with people's heads sometimes.

0~o~0

Agni sighed softly as he watched the New Avatar. The boy would have to be informed soon that he was not the only one, and Agni was not sure how he would act. The boy was strong, yes, but would he take the chance to go home and keep his secret? Or would he help Aang when the time came that he was broken free? He had seen that the boy would break free from his icy prison soon, but he could not see which direction things would go in after it happened. He closed his eyes and frowned.

"Maybe there is another way."

"Zuko's memories of his past life would have to be unlocked."

"I will need to speak to Anil, the spirit of the wind. I know she doesn't like me, but I might be able to convince her if she knows who he used to be."

0~o~0

Zuko stumbled into a tent as he was pushed to the side by someone running past. Anger flared in his heart for just a moment before he squashed it. He was no longer in the Firenation. These people didn't know that he had been born a prince and they owed him nothing.

Clearing his thoughts of going after the man and scolding him Zuko shook his head and looked around the tent that the had landed in. The inside was a lot larger then it looked and blankets were hung from long beams to create separate rooms, though the entrance was empty. His first clue that this was a hospital was the smell of herbs and burn paste, which had a very pungent smell.

A young woman swept aside the curtain to his right. Dark bags hung under her eyes and her hands clutched a small, mostly empty bottle of burn paste. She nearly walked into him but looked up just in time.

"Um," she said, blinking, "The burn victims that are not currently in critical condition are down the path on the left."

Zuko looked at her in confusion before remembering the bandage around his eye. "Oh, I'm not here to get treated. I actually just stumbled in because someone pushed me so . . . yah. That's about it."

She tilted her head tiredly and nodded, "Well that's good because I think I just used up my last bottle of burn paste."

Zuko frowned. "Are there really that many people who get burned here?"

The girl scowled but it was made less effective by the large yawn that spilt from her, making her blink back tired tears.

"Stupid Firenation," she muttered and Zuko stiffened, wondering how she had known. He had made sure to cover his hair and shade his eyes with the EarthKingdom hat before he left. "Always burning anyone who displeases them or that doesn't get out of their way. What gives them the right to do that?"

Zuko relaxed again as he realized that she wasn't talking to him specifically but the Firenation as a whole. Looking closer he noticed that she was swaying and her eyes were drooping. He placed a hand on her shoulder to help steady her and she hummed in question but didn't shake his hand off.

"You look tired, why don't you take a rest for a little wile?" he asked softly.

She shook her head and yawned again, her eyes dropping lower, "Can't," she mumbled, "too much work to be done . . . can't take a break now . . . have to make more paste and apply it . . ."

Zuko shook his head. She looked and sounded like she was going to fall asleep on her feet, which he hadn't thought possible before. He sighed; "If you show me how to make the paste and I do it then will you take a rest?" he didn't know why he was offering. He didn't know why he was being so nice to someone he had just randomly met. He shouldn't be offering, but he was.

She perked up and nodded. Though she still looked like she was about to fall asleep she led him to one of the curtained off areas where row upon row of leaves and plants were laid out to dry.

"My name's Ila, what's yours?"

". . . Lee," Zuko replied with the first EarthKingdom name that he could think of.

Ila showed him which leaves needed to be crushed into pulp, what the names for each plant were, in what order they needed to be put together, and then sent him to work on his own wile she laid on the ground to take a nap. Five minutes later she was dead asleep.

As the quiet settled around him Zuko began to hum softly to himself. He found that he actually enjoyed doing this. The repetitive action of crushing the leaves soothed him just as much as meditation usually did, and before he knew it he had already made many batches of the paste.

After putting the last of his most recent batch into a bottle he peeked out the door and saw that it was sunset. His uncle would start to get worried about now. With a small smile and a glance at the sleeping Ila he placed the bottle on the shelf and slipped out, deciding to come back the next day and see if he could help any more.

He really liked learning how to help people, strangely enough.

0~o~0

They stayed for almost a month; each day Zuko went back to Ila's makeshift hospital to learn something new. By the end of his time in the little town Zuko knew how to make burn paste, spread it on burns, wrap wounds, treat cuts and stab injuries, set a broken bone, and take care of someone sick with high fever. He and Ila had grown close, but he knew that he would soon have to leave as it would be suspicious if he stayed in one place to long if he was looking for the avatar. He could not afford to have the Fire lord looking into what he was doing.

Zuko's uncle, Iroh, had also become suspicious of him. He was always trying to get a glance inside the bag that Zuko now always carried with him which was full of the leaves required to make several healing teas and pastes among other things. It was amusing to see his usually calm uncle so frustrated because he could not sate his curiosity.

Ila and the rest of the hospital staff had started to officially think of him as one of their own. It felt good to belong somewhere even if it was only for a short time. They threw a small good-by party for him with a bunch of teary farewells. Many of the regular patients had also come, saying that they were going to miss him and his fiery temper, which he had used on some of the stubborn ones more then once.

As the ship pulled away from the port and Zuko was once again dressed in the red and black robes of Firenation royalty, he could not help but feel a pain of sadness nestled deep inside of him. Maybe one day, when he came out as the Avatar, he would come back and visit his first true friends.

For that is what he considered them, friends. The Firenation may frown down on having connections with those of the lower society, but at that moment Prince Zuko could care less what the Firenation thought.

They were the ones who had banished him and sent him on an impossible quest, after all. He wasn't ready to forgive them of that, just yet.

Firenation Names:

*Ayumu – meaning: walk, dream

*Rei – meaning: bell

EarthKingdomNames:

*Ila – meaning: earth

Spirit of the Wind

*Anil – meaning: air

I hope you like the chapter.

I would also really appreciate some feedback!

And thank you to those who reviewed the other chapters. I will take your ideas into consideration and see which ones I can fit in, maybe all of them!