AUTHOR'S NOTE: I'm testing out a new title for the story. "If You Only Knew" didn't say all I wanted it to. Sorry to be confusing! Also, I wanted to let you know a few things that I didn't mention in the previous chapters, in terms of the time frame. In this story, I had Derek and Meredith breaking up the first week of April. It's still April when Derek immediately begins to date Rose. Chapter 1 is a month later, so sometime within the first 2 weeks of May. Does that make sense? From now on I will try and include the month in the story or some sort of way to let you guys know what itme of year it is. Also, thank you guys so much for the positive feedback you've put in your reviews! They've really been wonderful to read. They've helped settle my apprehention and nervousness about posting the story, since it is my very first one! Anyway, you guys ROCK! Please keep it up! Also, feel free to let me know if you don't understand something and I'll fix it! Thanks again, and I hope the remainder of your weekend is FABULOUS!

Summary (Ch.3): Meredith went to work looking absolutely horrible. She was pale and thinner than she normally was. Her friends were extremely worried about her. While making rounds with her interns, a patient's young son accidentally hit her in the left knee with a baseball bat, causing her to fall. Dr. Mark Sloan took her to the chief's office where he examined her injury. It was discovered that whatever her secret "other life" was, both the Chief (Dr. Richard Webber) and Mark know about it. When Richard went to look over her knee, he found her leg already bandaged. (So, she obviously had a previous injury.) When asked if her leg had already been bothering her before the bat incident, she simply said, "No, I just want to be prepared." He made her sign an agreement they had previously discussed.

Previously…

"Alright. Do you need help getting to your car?"

"No. I don't want to draw anymore attention to myself," she said.

Slowly putting weight on her injury, she headed for the door where Richard stood. "Here's your new prescription. Only take it when necessary," he said, handing her the small paper.

"I know. I am a doctor after all," she smiled. "Thank you. For everything the past few years," she whispered to him as they hugged.

"No problem. You're like the daughter I never had. Just make sure you come to me if you have a problem," he said when she pulled away.

"Yeah, I will."

He sadly watched her as she limped slightly down the hall. "She's too young to have to deal with this. Dammit Ellis, how could you put her in this position?" he thought.

CHAPTER 4

The incident at work had happened a week ago. Everyone constantly bugged her about it; wondering if she was alright. It seemed Derek always had an eye on her at the hospital, which Meredith only found irritating and unnerving. After all, they weren't together anymore; he was with Rose. She wasn't happy about it, but it was what it was. In fact, it was probably better that they weren't together right now because it would have made her life even more difficult. If they were still dating, he would've figured everything out, which was the last thing she wanted.

She had gotten home late again last night from her "other life" to find Izzie waiting up for her, like a worried mother. She pressed Meredith about where she was and if everything was ok. Meredith lied to her; she told Izzie she had been staring at the fairy boats, thinking. Izzie knew she was lying, but she couldn't force Meredith to open up to her. Since when didn't she trust her friends?

Meredith felt like she had been at the hospital forever, in reality it had only been 4 hours. She couldn't remember the last time she was this exhausted. As she was standing, filling out charts at the nurse's station, Derek walked up.

"Hey," he said.

"Hi," Meredith replied.

"How's the knee?"

"It's fine! I don't know what the big deal is. It happened a week ago. It was an accident. No big deal. Why does everyone care so much?" she ranted.

"We care because we're worried; and I care because I care about you. When you fell to the ground, you looked like you were gonna be sick. What's the problem?"

Meredith looked right into his gorgeous blue eyes and almost melted. "I care about you too," she thought to herself. "What are you thinking Meredith? No, push him away. You can't trust him. He's only going to betray you in the end," her subconscious argued.

"The problem is that you shouldn't care. You're with Rose. I don't want you to care," she snapped.

She felt awful as his face screamed "hurt". She had done that; she'd put that hurt there. Not knowing what to do or say, she gathered her charts and turned to walk away. But before she could get anywhere, he grabbed her arm. "Are you sure you're ok, Mer? I mean, you look absolutely exhausted. What's going on with you?" he asked as the hurt from his eyes disappeared, leaving only concern.

"When people say you look exhausted, they're trying to be nice. Really they just mean you look like shit. So thanks!" she seethed. Meredith tried to free herself from his grasp, but he wouldn't budge.

"That's not what I meant. You look beautiful no matter what. I'm just worried. You've lost weight and I never see you eating. Please, what's wrong?"

"Look, Dr. Shepard, I'm fine. Nothing is wrong. But if there was I wouldn't tell you, it isn't any of your business anymore. Rose is your girlfriend now, so worry about her. Just leave me alone!"

Defeated, he let go of her arm. "Fine Meredith, but just know that when you decide to fill me in. I'm here."

She sighed loudly as she stalked away.

Marc walked up to him, having seen the entire interaction between the two. "You've got to let her go for now. She's right, leave her alone. You're only making things worse for her. Trust me," Mark advised.

Derek's head turned to look at him so fast, that a pain shot from his neck to the top of his head. "What do you know? Is she ok? Is it because of me? What? What is it?" he interrogated.

Shaking his head, he replied, "Just please trust me right now and let her go." Mark walked away, heading towards his next surgery.

Derek just watched him, feeling so helpless. "When does Mark ever give serious advice like that? Mark knows something. I have to get to the bottom of this," he thought, just as his pager went off. "Well, I'll figure it out later," he whispered and walked away.

The day had been never ending. Instead of eating lunch in the cafeteria like she used to do, Meredith headed to her "other life" for an hour. She had finished the rest of her shift without being bothered by too many people. Now here she was at home at 11 pm after she spent four hours at her "other life". This would be her schedule until either the announcement was made and she took her leave of absence or she was exposed and everyone figured it out.

She sat in the living room drinking her dinner (another one of her special shakes) and watching television. On her lap lay a small photo album. Meredith stared at each photo for minutes at a time, reminiscing. Every couple minutes she would flip to the next photo. This went on for approximately 15 minutes when she was interrupted by Izzie and George.

"Whatcha doin?" Izzie asked.

"Nothing much, just watching some TV before I head upstairs. I'm beat," Meredith replied.

She flipped to the next photo, which just so happened to be a picture of the little girl that George and Izzie had seen in the photos inside the locked room. Izzie quickly took the album from her. "Who is this? She's adorable!" Izzie questioned, fishing for information about the mysterious little girl.

Meredith snatched the album back and promptly closed it. "It's no one. She's….well she's a relative," she nervously stumbled.

Meredith began to stand up. "Who's kid? How are you related?" George asked.

"Um, it doesn't matter. I rarely see her," she sadly said. "Well, I'm gonna go to bed. Good night!" Meredith headed for the stairs, but stopped when she heard Izzie's voice.

"Um, Meredith?" Izzie said.

"Yeah?"

"George and I wanted to talk to you about something," she said, voice shaking a bit out of nervousness.

"Shoot," was Meredith's only response.

"Well George and I…we've decided to wait to be together. Um…it's just, well, not the time. I mean I…" Izzie rambled.

"Izzie," George interrupted her. Meredith didn't care about their relationship, or lack of one, right now. She was tired and just wanted to sleep.

Izzie continued, "Right, sorry. Anyway, we decided that George should move out of my room, but he doesn't have anywhere else to go since Alex now lives in his old room. So, we were hoping that George could move into that room next to yours. You know? The one that's locked? What do you say? Is that cool?"

Meredith froze. That room was occupied, well it used to be. And it would be again. That is, if everything went according to her plan. She didn't know what to say. She couldn't give them the real reason George couldn't live there. "It's full of stuff. I've kind of been using it as storage. The stuff won't fit anywhere else," she said. She wasn't really lying per say; the room really was full of stuff, but it would fit in the attic.

"Well, the attic isn't completely full. Couldn't we put the stuff up there?" she asked.

Meredith needed time to think of a good reason that George couldn't move into that room. She was panicked. "Well I mean there's a LOT of stuff. I'm really exhausted right now, so is it alright if I have some time to think about it?"

"Oh yeah totally," Izzie said.

The air was thick with tension. "Yeah definitely. I wasn't going to move in there tonight!" George tried to joke.

"Good night then," she told them uneasily.

"Night!"

"Good night, sleep well!" George yelled to her.

Once she had disappeared into her room, George and Izzie began whispering. "Well that was awkward!" said George.

"Tell me about it. Why did she lie about it being full of stuff that wouldn't fit in the attic? And when I asked her about the photo? What was that? She looked like she was gonna puke!" Izzie said to him.

"Something weird is definitely going on, " said George, biting his top lip.

PLEASE REVIEW & LET ME KNOW WHAT YOU THINK!