Hi there!

Sorry for the super late update, our exams just ended, which goes on for two weeks. And then my room is under renovation right now so I had to move my stuff over and over, going up and down the stairs. -stress-. But anyway, I hope you guys will enjoy what you're about to read :D

Disclaimer: I don't own La Corda D'oro

Because I loved Her

Chapter 4

~ Love makes us think like fools and forget the very essence of our life ~

Kahoko's POV

This is wrong....so wrong....

But why does it feel so right?

I felt his gentle lips leave mine and he rested his forehead on mine.

My mind was swimming, I think we kissed for a few seconds...

This should be wrong. I already have Kazuki. Isn't this betraying him?

"Kahoko…" Aoi said softly.

His voice explained everything. I wanted to cry, but no tears came, there's not even a hint of guilt in my soul. What's wrong with me?

With great effort, I lifted my limp hands which were on my sides the whole time and placed them between us, on his chest. I tried to push, but no effort came out. With relief, I felt Aoi respond to my touch and he walked a few steps back.

"I'm sorry," he murmured, "I knew I shouldn't have done that, but I couldn't stop myself. I love you so much…so much, ever since we were small. You changed my world."

I looked away, to the ground, "Change. Changed your world for the worst."

I waited for him to protest or say anything else, but nothing came, and so I continued.

"Because of me…because of me you stopped playing your viola…" I cried.

Aoi flinched at that, "What? Has Etou been saying something to you?"

I brought my hands to my face, "So it is true..."

Aoi touched my arm gently, "No, that's not true. I stopped playing the viola because I made a vow..."

"A vow?" I asked, looking up at him slowly, remembering Etou saying something like that when he talked to me.

"I'm sorry…" he murmured, hugging me again.

I shook my head. "It's my fault. I…I…"

"Just…forget about tonight…"

"No!"

Aoi looked at me in surprise, I, too, was surprise at myself.

"I can't forget…I can't. I will always remember the warmth of your arms; I'll always remember tonight…what we've shared…" I cried, I don't care if I looked desperate, he's the one…

"I can't…betray Kazuki…" Aoi said, then he let me go, "That was really stupid of me…I really shouldn't have crossed the line…"

I shook my head frantically, "Aoi..."

"Kahoko-nee-san?" Shouko called out.

Aoi and I jerked away from each other.

"Y-yes?" I called, wiping my tears immediately and stepping into the light.

Shouko was with Keiichi, they had a worried expression.

"Are you okay?" Keiichi asked.

I nodded and I felt Aoi stand behind me.

"How's the party going?" Aoi asked, forcing some cheerfulness into his voice.

Keiichi nodded, "Everything's going great."

"Let's go eat," Shouko said.

I nodded, "Yeah, let's go," then I slowly looked at Aoi, "Sorry," I murmured and walked with Shouko into the house.

Normal POV

Kahoko woke up with a start.

Her head felt heavy. She looked around her room with was covered in a yellowish bright light, wait, light? She rubbed her eyes and looked at her bedside clock. It took all she had not to start screaming.

"I'm late, late late! Kazuki will be here in ten minutes!" she jumped off her bed and began rummaging around her room, grabbing a towel here, setting out her uniform.

As she was going crazy, her door slowly opened, her older sister was leaning on her door frame, her messy-haired sister who is now wearing the how-dare-you-wake-me-up-from-a-good-sleep expression.

"Sorry," Kahoko mumbled, "Where's my tie, my tie!"

"I'll go search it for you, you better go take a shower." Her sister said sleepily.

"Thank you!"

As soon as Kahoko finished her shower, she saw her room tidied up, her sister was sitting with the back of the chair in front of her, her sister watched Kahoko sigh and got into her uniform.

"Someone needs sleep, you really should've kept your volume down." Her sister said.

"I'm really sorry, I know you just came back home after a year of cram school and regular school…"

"It won't make me feel better listing out my achievement, though it worked a little."

Kahoko grinned.

"So, who are you in a hurry for? You could still sleep in a little."

"Kazuki." Kahoko said, and her tone made it clear that she doesn't want to talk about it.

But her sister ignored it and carried on. "Your boyfriend?"

"Yes."

"But I thought you liked that blond little boy you used to play with, and I'm sure his name isn't Kazuki."

"He's not little, we're teens already."

"Yeah, well it was Aoi-kun right? I thought you were in love---"

"Enough. I'm going. Thanks for helping me out. You better go back to sleep." Kahoko said, leaving the room.

Her sister followed her downstairs. Their mother saw them and smiled.

"Harumi, you just slept for two hours and now you're awake?"

"Kahoko's been panicky, so I woke up."

Kahoko kissed her mom's cheek and took a piece of jam-buttered toast and drank a glass of milk, "Thanks for breakfast, I'm going now."

"Take care." Her mom said, watching Kahoko bouncing to the door as she wore her shoe.

As soon as Kahoko was out, Kazuki was already outside. Harumi, Kahoko's sister watched.

"Mom, how long has this been going on?" Harumi asked.

"Hm?"

"Kahoko going out with that guy, if I remember she mentioned 'Kazuki'."

"Oh, a week after she came back home from Germany."

"That's fast? And I thought she was so excited to see Aoi-kun."

"Yes, I'm surprised that she ended up with someone else, those two were so close when they were children, they used to create beautiful music, speaking of which, I haven't heard Kahoko playing her violin recently."

Harumi sighed. "Well it seems like it was the right choice to come home for a vacation than to spend my break with my friends in Europe." She muttered, and then she realized something, "Wait, what's his surname? I think I didn't catch Kahoko saying it, Kazuki I mean."

"Hm?" her mother said, "Hihara, I think."

"Hihara?? Wait, are you sure? It's Kazuki Hihara??"

"Oh really? I haven't met your sister yet, I bet she's nice." Kazuki chuckled.

"She was kind of grumpy this morning you know, I woke---"

Kazuki stopped and looked at what Kahoko saw which made her stop talking, he smiled at what he saw, more like who.

"Hey, Aoi! Etou." Kazuki said, walking to the two. He reached his hand up and Aoi gave him a high five.

"Morning," Aoi and Etou greeted.

Aoi looked at Kahoko and Kahoko stiffened for a bit, "Good morning Kahoko," Aoi said, forcing a smile.

"Ah, um, good morning.

Etou looked from Kahoko to Aoi suspiciously.

"Hey, did you hear Kahoko's sister is back." Kazuki grinned.

"You have a sister?" Etou said.

Kahoko nodded, and then blushed slightly, being the center of attention today, well her sister.

"Harumi huh," Aoi said from one side.

"You must've met her already. Hey, tell me about her." Etou grinned.

"What, you going for the older woman?" Aoi said.

"Well, I go for whatever's available."

Kazuki laughed, "You're dangerous."

Kahoko giggled, "Well sorry Etou, but I think my sister already has a Mr. mysterious."

"Nice try Etou," Aoi said, punching his cousin's arm.

"Well, I think everything will be fine…for now…" Kahoko thought.

"You're playing your viola again huh," Etou said.

He had heard the feint sound of viola and recognized it as his cousin's and that feint sound led him to the rooftop of the general department.

"You heard it all the way from the Music department?" Aoi said.

Etou shrugged and touched his ears, "Cat's ears. Anyway, you're playing it so it meant you've told her how you feel?"

Aoi sighed, "It's much more complicated than that. Well, I found it childish to even keep a vow I made years and years ago when I can't even decide something for myself."

Etou stood at the corner and his brows furrowed, "Are you giving up on her?"

"No, what gave you that idea?" Aoi said, putting his viola in its case.

"'I found it childish'…along those lines." Etou said, quoting in the air.

"Well I just meant, my life's going to go through hell with what I'm doing, so I better let down all my restrictions."

"What really happened last night? You two seems to have the awkward air."

Aoi sighed, "I told her how I felt."

"And?" Etou prompted after Aoi's long pause.

"And well," he shrugged, "I'm betraying Kazuki this way."

Etou sat on a bench unsurprised. "She loves you then, she should just break up with that---"

"Kahoko loves him, and Etou, are you crazy? Kazuki is my best friend."

"If you're worrying about the betraying, you just did."

"I'm giving up on her."

"Already!? Then why did you even--"

"As long as she knows that I had loved her, its alright. She doesn't have to hurt anymore."

"You're too selfless dear cousin." Etou said leaving the rooftop, but before he left he gave Aoi one last look and said, "Glad to hear you play again."

"Kahoko, you've been spaced out," Kazuki commented, they were both having lunch at the usual busy canteen.

"Oh, sorry," Kahoko said.

"You didn't bring your violin today," Kazuki said.

"Um, well…a string broke, I haven't had it changed yet," she lied.

"I see, well, hey, I might just be sensitive or paranoid, but have you and Aoi been in a fight?"

Kahoko flinched, "huh, what? Um, no, no. We didn't. Why?"

"If that's the case, never mind then." Kazuki said cheerfully.

"Come on, tell me Kazuki."

Kazuki pretended to think for a while then said, "Well you two have been quiet when we walked to school…and I feel like you're hiding something from me."

Kahoko felt the guilt she has been waiting for.

She took a deep breath and smiled at Kazuki, "Nothing's wrong Kazuki, don't worry too much."

Kazuki looked at Kahoko worriedly for a while and then smiled, "Well, if you say so, I trust you."

Kahoko looked down at the tiled floor.

"And hey, your birthday's coming up soon right?" Kazuki said.

She nodded.

"Well, it's your 18th birthday. Are you planning a big party?"

Kahoko was forced, well, swayed to look up at him and perk up at the thought of her 18th birthday. The age where she'll be free and legal.

She grinned, "Yeah. We'll be planning it in a week. It's going to take place at a hotel. Onii-san will come home too."

"Well that's great then! You should be really excited. So cheer up!" he said standing up.

Kahoko stared at him and mumbled, "Moe Kazuki, I told you nothing's wrong,"

"Aoi!" Kahoko called during one of their free periods, a free period before bell.

Aoi looked up from his crowd of friends and excused himself. He walked to Kahoko's desk.

"Yes?" he asked.

"Um, about last night…" Kahoko said in a low voice so that no one could overhear.

Aoi shrugged, "Let's just forget about it okay?"

Kahoko looked at him, surprise coloring her expression.

"I mean, who are we fooling? Our feelings must be made up, I mean, we've been together since we were small and I guess the attraction is just natural. I held on without realizing the changes in us. You…you really love Kazuki and I know that. I don't want to betray my best friend. You're the one who makes him happy and I'm sure you're happy with him too." Aoi said.

Kahoko sat on her seat speechlessly. Aoi didn't meet her eyes.

"Are you really serious about this Aoi? I don't think you're telling the truth. If you just want to lie to yourself---"

"Kahoko." Aoi said firmly, "Let's just forget everything. It's true that I've been crazy about you ever since…but…please. I can live without you returning your feelings to me. I've lived for years that way. You have Kazuki now."

"Are you saying, because of Kazuki…"

Aoi shook his head, when he looked at her, no emotions could be seen in his face, his eyes were hard and cold. "Even without Kazuki. Hey, I'm a guy, guys can get impulsive. I guess I wasn't really in love with you or anything. Just attracted. I must've been jealous of Kazuki, after all, we've been together for so long and another guy sweeps you of your feet." He shrugged.

Kahoko couldn't believe what she's been hearing. She was shocked.

"Are you saying those were just impulsive words last night? You never really meant them."

Aoi shrugged again.

Kahoko could feel it now. Anger. Shock. Disappointment. Everything mixed up inside her.

She glared at Aoi, and suddenly stood up, she slapped him in front of the class.

Everyone looked at them and was silent, the bell rang then.

Kahoko grabbed her bag and ran out of the classroom.

Aoi touched his slapped cheek, his classmates went on talking, trying not to let their curiosity get the better of them. He slowly walked to the window and saw Kahoko running, she met Kazuki by the gate, she was crying, he could tell. And it seems she didn't want Kazuki's comfort.

Aoi closed his eyes. It's for the best.

Etou sighed, "What a mess, are you really serious, I thought earlier was just for show. Your emotions were mixed up after all. But seriously, what a big lie you've told her. Even if the intent is clear, you really tore her apart."

"Kazuki's there for her. He'll be a great support." Aoi said lifelessly.

Etou snorted, "As if. I'm telling you---" Etou trailed off when his phone vibrated.

He turned around and then looked at his mail, Kahoko Hino

He stopped and looked back at his cousin who was sitting on the couch looking at the vast emptiness.

He flipped it open and read silently.

If what you've said was true, then why did this happen? Why is he pushing me away? Unless what you've told me was a lie.

He immediately replied.

Meet up with me tomorrow. At the school gate around 2:30.

Etou looked at his cousin again, "I should tell you that you're making one big mistake." He said.

A/N: Review please!! It's very much appreciated. Please!!!! And THANK YOU for choosing my fic to read among all the other stories!

I'm really sorry it took me so long to update. I was having the author's block. I forgot the supposedly flow of the story. But I hope you guys liked this....though I'm sure the original would've been better if only I could remember....