Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto... sadly. It belongs to Masashi Kishimoto. I do own this idea and story. The idea was also inspired after I read Speakby, Laurie Halse Anderson.


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Speak: The Unheard Voice

Chapter 4

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I walked out of that stall and closed the door. Went up to the sink and washed my hands. I shut my eyes and then open; I turned my head as much as my other half complains, I do it. Take a deep breath and bit my lip. Here is your last chance, my brain screams. Go, go run out of this bathroom and don't look back! Go, go I tell you! I mentally shake my head and refuse, I have to do this... I just have to.

Me: "Hi."

Ino: "Hmm."

What now? What to say now? Don't say anything, act cool. Act like a popular and she'll answer you. She'll answer, she just has too.

Me: "How's it been?"

Ino: "Ehh." She grabs her lip stick and puts it on her big fat lips. She purses her lips together and pops it. Annoying... Then grabs her mascara stick thing and opens her mouth while applying the deadly black shade. Is it even possible to put on that stuff without opening your mouth and thinking about it?

I don't want to be cool. I don't want to be popular. I want to kill her, murder her more like it. I want to grab a shuriken and throw it at her eye like in that show South Park, when the little boys were playing with ninja weapons. I want to pin her down and punch her with all my might. I want to yell at her for treating me like dirt and trash. I want to make her scream out sorry to me and mean it, I just want to give her a taste of her own medicine. She is Japanese Trash and should be disposed of.

She knew what was going on at my house. What it was like being there and she told. She knew how it was for me when it came to grades so she tried to take me away from it all. She did so she could try to be at the top. She didn't try to know what happened to me during the summer because better people came along. She knew all my secrets and one by one told her little friends.

Inner Sakura shows up out of no where. She comes out of a stall, the same time as a cheerleader. The cheerleader is none other than Karin. I hate her and I hate Ino, I hate their kind! They both come out and I hear two flushing noises. Except I know one can't be real.

Inner Me: "You think I am not real? That hurts, Sakura. Really, really hurts."

I ignore her. Ino and Karin giggle together. Wow, I already know what they are laughing about... one word. Guess. Did you guess? Answer: Me. I roll my eyes and Karin sees. Gee great. I bet you five bucks she's probably going to use her "smart" worded comebacks on me. Just watch, grab popcorn, a chair and watch.

Karin: "What are you like rolling your eyes for, nerd?"

Me: "..." Do I call them or what.

Ino: "Her nerd? Pluh-ease!" Wow... very smart word picking. "Like she doesn't even have like the status to be like a nerd!"

Laughs. They laugh like stupid monkeys that can't think for themselves. They laugh so loud I might have gotten ear damage.

Me:

Karin: "Got like nothing to say bitch?"

Three words: What the fuck?

Ino: "She like has no guts Care." What is it with cheerleaders and the word "like?"

Inner Sakura goes to Ino's face and pokes her face twice then sticks out her tongue. I roll my eyes, what a child. Then she goes to Karin and does this random dance around her yelling out insults. She hits both Ino and Karin's head and yells out "baka!" I am blown away.

Inner Me: "I would do that if I were you. Who care what these two retards are saying. They are nothing but losers."

I nod in my head. Then the girls storm out. They storm out with their feet falling in rhythm: left then right. When the door is about to shut I hear the giggle like idiots and screech out "HI!"

I hate cheerleaders.

My journal entry for today: "Cheerleaders: how annoying..."

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I was grabbed by Kakashi before I went to Study Hall. He asks me for my paper, I "forgot" to turn in. I mumble a sorry and tell him I'll give it to him in homeroom. Short words, he tells me what I just said is the first thing I have ever told him. I shrug and storm out. I think I heard him sigh.

No one told me that Study Hall was moved to the library. I ran to the room we usually meet in and no one is there. A boy going to the office runs into me and tells me that it was moved. I don't even know him that well but I nod. He tells me his name is Idate. At first I am taken back, this was Idate? The Idate I was annoyed by? That wasn't possible... the summer changed him for sure. He asks who I was. I say nothing but run off. I don't need this. I can't be late!

By the time I am inside class is almost over and I start to tear up. Iruka-sama tells me its okay.

Iruka: "Calm down, Sakura. Calm down. No need to cry really. Your here now, correct? Well, then I'll just mark you here and not late nor absent. If you think you'll be late just grab a late pass from a teacher, okay? Now stop crying, come on no need for that."

He takes a box of tissues from his desk and hands it too me. I nod and take two of them. Why am I crying? I never cry over this stuff? Seriously I don't so why now? Of all times, why am I the one crying over this? I shake my head, no need to cry anymore. Then I remember those words...

"One mess up and... you're in trouble young lady..."

I hear it again.

"I swear you are nothing like neither of us. Where did you get this behavior from?"

And again.

"My, my, everyone else is better than this why you?"

And one more time for myself.

"... Where did I go wrong? DAMN IT, YOU LITTLE BRAT!"

I cringe at the memory and all of it. Pictures run threw my head and words too. They all connect together like a puzzle. I bit my lip and walk down the library halls. Grab a few books and check them out. I might read a few today and write in the margins. I always do and never get in trouble, I wonder when someone checks out the book I wrote in what will they think? Do they think they know who wrote it?

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At the end of Fizz Ed, Kin runs up to me. I turn around and she's smiling. Her bell earring can give her away anytime, anywhere. She's wearing a skirt (something I can't pull off) with leggings and a black shirt with a happy face and ear phones on it. This screams Kin. I give her a look telling her to speak.

Kin: "Want to eat lunch with us today?"

Me: "Hm?"

Kin: "I mean you know most of the people there. Haku, Dosu and Zaku to name a few." She smiles.

I give her a hand motion that says maybe or so-and-so. She understands my language; if she didn't then she wouldn't really talk to me like this. She just gives me a straight forward nod.

Kin: "Okay then—"

Voice from a far: "KIN! HURRY UP!"

We turn our gaze and see whose yelling. Kin rolls her eyes and I roll my head.

Kin: "HOLD ON ZAKU!" She turns to me. "Then, I'll save you a seat if you do come."

I nod and she runs off. With her ear rings making noises. I want to laugh but I don't. Kin reminds me of someone I once knew. She was always happy and hyper. Weird at times and caring at others, a good friend. Will to stop anyone who annoyed or made fun of people who shouldn't be or her own friends at the most. I know that girl and I am sorry to say that she's gone...

That girl...

She was me.

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At lunch, someone is hunting. For me of course. No it's not a bully— wait it is one... an adult bully. My history teacher, Kabuto. Rumor has it that he and Science teacher Orochimaru are really close and very... well close. Yes I am glad I won't be in the same room as them anytime soon. Rumor has it they are very close, closer than Orochimaru and Jirya will ever bit... and I hear Uzumaki yell out how great Jirya is and who his best friend was... err.

I rush to the line and hide my face in the crowd. Not so hard to hide when no one really sees you. I have a missing assignment that I am not ready to turn in because I haven't even started it. I grab my lunch and walk casually like I don't know if anyone is looking for me. It's not really helpful that I have pink hair and the only one in my grade I assume.

Then I see it, the holy land if you may. It's Kin's table, were she eats with her friends. I could walk over there and sit down. I could go by wave and walk away before Kin tries to squeeze me in. I could not go at all and avoid Kin the whole day because I know she won't let this down if I don't show up.

All choices have a bad ending to it so why even pick one? Because I have to that's why. Life is suppose to be all about making choices or so they said in primary school and in Jr. High they said it was about making better choices. Gee, things really do change don't they? Not.

Inner Sakura: "You know what I would do—"

In my head I scream. I tell her to shut up and leave me alone. It was cool of her for showing up in the bathroom and all but she's pushing it. I don't need her here. I was doing fine way before she popped up on my couch at home.

Inner Sakura: "Really? As I recalled you didn't talk nor did you have that many people liking you."

I want her to be real. So, I can kill her in real life. All I am able to do for now is image me doing these things in my dreams. Wow, I sound like a serial killer don't I? Well in truth I just want her to leave me alone like everyone else. I am just fine by myself. Never been better, really, honestly. I. Am. Fine.

Inner Sakura: "..."

What?

Inner Sakura: blinks once, twice, three times. "...nothing..."

I shake my head and walk. I made up my mind. Maybe she'll go away if I do what she wants me to do. "Get a friend." Isn't that what she wants? She doesn't want me to be "alone" anymore. She wants me to find a friend and be happy and smile. Laugh, cry, and do all those emotional things people do. You know what I don't need that. I am fine being...

Inner Sakura: "A quite person who acts like a mindless Zombie at school and home?"

Bing Inner. You got that right on the dot.

My feet are in front of me. One in front of the other and I am holding my tray of food. Just a box of sushi for me and a soda. Yummy. I am a foot away from the table. No turning back now. No turning back, now move legs, move. Don't stop why am I just standing here?

Inner Sakura: "MOVE IT!" She pushes me and I almost stumble on my way.

I tap Kin's shoulder she turns and wears her big smile. Her earrings make a noise, like a breeze of wind blew by and just hit them. Making them play a little tone. I nod her way and Haku is a cross from her waving his hand at me. Zaku moves over and tells me to sit in between them. I do so.

Kin continues a conversation (argument) with Zaku and Haku eats silently. They're table isn't full yet. It's only the three of them. The rest of the bunch is still getting their food or talking to a few others. Some don't have this lunch but Kin, Haku and Zaku are basically the only three I associate with the most. It's nice because they don't care much about my status or much about my life.

Haku: "That all you're going to eat?" He points to my food.

I nod and look across from me. He has a bento with the classical rice and meat combo, with sushi pieces and sauce. I roll my eyes and break my chop sticks. I am hungry, P.E. always makes me hungry, I don't know why.

Haku: "How've you been?" He's trying to start a conversation.

Me: "Eh..." A noise comes out of my mouth I shut it closes.

Haku: "The usual, I assume. Well," He stuffs food in his mouth and swallows. "I am not doing so hot in science."

I lean in interested. Haku usually is a straight A average student. He does fine so why should Science be any trouble now? Only one thing, our teacher is an idiot for making him not work with his lab partner, for a few projects. That would be me, leaving me with a bonehead or a prep. Making me does all the work and him trying to tell his partner how to do stuff. Haku wasn't the kind of person who would do everything for you in class he wanted a fifty-fifty thing going on all the time.

Kin: "What happened?"

Haku: "Not enough sleep to study, Asuma is whack for not making us work with our assign lab partner..." Trails off.

Within the second week we found out who our assigned lab partners were. Mine turned out to be the one and only Haku. Lucky me huh? Not really because right behind us was Naruto. He called us every time he needs "help." He would annoy us if we didn't. Called us all those smart comments for smart kids, not. He was annoying and didn't thank us but teased us after we did "help." It happened once and never again. Psh... Popular people never change.

Zaku: "Stop trying to tutoring then and start sleeping more. Don't stay up late playing video games."

Haku: "They aren't video games."

Zaku: "Yeah sure World of War Craft and Runscape aren't video games. Nor are the Anime games too."

Haku: "They aren't I tell you. They help my computer skills."

Zaku: "Sure they do. Help you bring up your nerd status."

Haku: "I am not a nerd you play these games to smart one!"

Zaku: "..."

Kin rolls her eyes. How can she deal with these two everyday, if all they do is fight particle twenty-four/seven? I would probably have killed myself by now if I had to deal with these two. I wonder how she dealt with Zaku and Dosu. Well Dosu could handle Zaku. Though it just seemed like all Zaku could do was try to pick a fight with all the people he knew. Even me.

Kin and I just stare at the two as they go back and forth. How can they do this all the time? Don't they ever get tired. One yells the other retorts, it's like there is no end to it. I sigh looking at the boys faces. Zaku looks annoyed and angry. Wow big shocker there (note: sarcasm.) I turn my gaze to Haku.

He's rolling his eyes. Yelling with a light volume but with enough emotion. Man, I am reading too much if I analyze stuff like this. Then his face goes from angry to soft to annoy. He's eyes are far away from Zaku's. He doesn't talk anymore. He's not pay attention to the boy who is yelling right in front of his face. I turn around and fallow it.

Someone's coming. It's not a friend of Kin's. It's a person Haku dislikes very much. I never understood why though. It's none other than, Sabaku no Gaara in the flesh with a two followers. His best friend and brother. Oh joy. Kankuro is coming, not fun. Shikamaru is yawing once again, tried. What do they want? They never come this way.

Gaara: "Hello Zaku, Kin, Haku." Pause. "Sakura."

Kin: "Hey, Gaara."

She'll be the only one to say his name that way. Out of all the boys at this table, she actually likes him. Zaku and Haku just nod and mumble a "Hello, Sabaku." The yelling stops. It's quite. Well not quite the cafe is noisy but with our little group here at this table, it's quite. I like it. I don't think anyone else does.

My eyes look toward the noise makers. The noise they make isn't sweet like a song. I think it's time I become the hunter than the huntie. I study the people around the room carefully. I don't see what I am looking for but I see a few faces I wish I didn't. I hate it when I look towards the one place I dread looking at the most. It's the popular wing. They some how have all four wings near each other, how convenient.

I always see them and see them smile. Laugh and taunt. From where I stand it looks like they have a good time wasting their life doing the crap they do. Now I see Hinata at a chair next to her cousin. Why is she there? Maybe Neji is trying to protect her from someone... Naruto, maybe. I bet you someone rated out what Sai did weeks ago to her. I know this why? Because he's had his eye on Sai like he wants to kill him. It wouldn't be too bad to watch if Neji had the guts to.

Then I see myhunter. Kabuto is coming this way. He stops walking to break up two seniors and their PDA. See high school said we weren't supposed to do that, but look at that people who have been here for there years and a couple of weeks are breaking the rules. I have seen this happen a few times without teachers noticing. This is a reason why this school and every other school in this whole world will lie to you and me.

I get out my seat and run out of the cafe. No one sees, thank god. Where to go, where to go? I walk and hear foot steps fallowing me. I don't want to turn back and see who it is because I know I'll regret it some way.

I turn in the corner of the halls and get into a random room. It's not a classroom or the bathroom. It's a janitor closet that doesn't seem to be used. There is a mirror above the sink, shelves, a desk and chair, with a dusky couch. The only light is the light above my head other than that it's just quite and dark.

No janitor has used this place in a long time. Probably because there are so many janitor closets around school and a new lounge and supply room. This place is abandon, no purpose or name. Sad really but I think I know how these four walls that hold up an empty space feel. I like it because I can relate.

This is a new hang out place at school for me.

When the bell rings I stop by Kakashi's room and grab a couple of late passes, I feel better and the "void" is gone now.

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Doc. : Journal Entry (English)

Cheerleaders are ruining the world. Who wants to dress up like them and be "cool?" Not me at all. Why do we even have them? Why do we need them? They aren't the reason why the school wins sports or why we are happy all the time.

There a bunch of these hoes from hell: Ino, Karin, Ami, Suki, Ashley, Mashie, Akira, Cho, Kai, Ima, Yuki and the captain, Kiwi. They are the most preppy people you will ever meet. The most fake too.

They go to they're religious things no matter what at least once every week. You know why? So they can be pure virgins for the rest of the week even though they have done a few things the day before. How disgusting.

They live in two worlds.

World #1, they are truly beautiful. With their long hair combed, conditioned, shampooed and fixed nicely. They have long legs and a few are tall girls. They have the nice cloths and cars. They have those white smiles most girls will die for. Teachers smile at them and think they are a great example of a good person. They are graded on the curve by all the teachers and address them the proper way. They are the true pride of the Red Hawks of Konoha.

World #2, they throw parties like animals. With collages kids coming in when the party just started. (Sure it did.) They love to drink and worship the sink at their "boyfriend's" house. They rent beach houses and get group abortions right before prom because they need to fit into that dress. They can try to run their parents credit cards up so high you would faint.

They are the pride of the school. They cheer our boys on and make us have some hope we will win those blood wars between men to men— I mean games between boys to boys. They are the IT girls of the school and have it all. They were girls that had the prefect outfit and grades for school. They are "smart" and not dumb, nor did they stumble on any of their words.

Cheerleaders are the greatest girls in this world… not. 99.9 (percent) of them are mean and you barely find that 0.01 percent around. They are fake and not interesting to watch. Cheerleaders are a waist of human life. Why would anyone want to be one?


I come home, do my homework and dad calls me down for dinner. The table is set nicely and my parents have their chairs across each other and mine in the middle of it. I think I know what's going to happen. My parents might have gotten a call from the school saying I wasn't turning in a few of my assignments. Great.

Mom: "How could you do this? You disappoint me." It hasn't been anytime I haven't mommy dearest. "You think your so smart don't you?" Do I? "Just because your in high school and in all these high classes doesn't mean you can slack off!" There she goes yelling, again.

Dad: "Cut the crap. You know what's up with these grades? You're not trying hard enough!" He bangs the table. "You have to try, try, try, until you're number one. You hear me!" I can hear you… because your yelling!

Mom: "Sakura, honey." Honey? She acts as if she cares. "I am not asking for much." Sure your not, you never do. "I just want you to be at the top." I want to roll my eyes, she just wants to show off to her friends her kid is smarter than theirs. "Look at me when I am talking to you."

I don't want to woman!

I take a bit of my food. Dad is yelling at me for not listening to my mom. My mom yells at my dad telling him she can handle it. They are fighting and I am eating. This is nice, home sweet home. Don't you love it when both my parents are home and talking?

I look up above my lashes but don't move my head. I see Inner me. Good timing.

Inner Sakura: "Don't you just love our parents? They are so sweet with their colorful language and mom saying she'll leave dad even though she won't."

I nod. At least she has my humor. Someone who understands, she is me after all. I take a sip of my water. I feel like I am seven again and mom and dad are yelling while I am watching TV upstairs. They don't really seem to care if I hear or not.

Mom: "WHAT ARE YOU SAYING?!"

Dad: "FORGET THIS!"

He storms off and grabs his dinner plate. Probably going to his study. He'll grab a drink for the night and ignore mom. I make a note to lock my door to night and wear ear plugs. I don't want to know what happens when my dad is drunk.

My mom screams at my father telling him, he is a coward for walking away from a fight that wasn't finished with. I shrug.

Inner Sakura: "Can you past your dad's drink? I don't have tea."

I grab my dad's tea and put it in front of her. She takes a sip and says "mmm." I shake my head. She's so calm, calmer than I am.

Inner Sakura: "Just do what you always did as a kid."

I nod. Time to think of an Anime I watched during the summer or a J-pop song to hum in my head. I don't want to see more of my own mother's fakeness growing. I take a bunch of ramen noodles and stuff it in my mouth till I digest.

Mom: Clears throat. "Well looks like your father will be working more tonight."

Sure he will.

Mom: "Let's eat."

I already have started without her. I was eating with my inner self. I was eating while both my parents were arguing, yet again. I think they'll wait till I am eighteen then they'll divorce and leave me alone. It would be the same thing they are doing now though.

Ignoring me like I am just another mouth to feed..

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...to be continued...

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Me: Gomen for the long wait! hope u enjoyed the chapter... and it was worth waiting for (in my opinion it was sort of) Now excuses don't work for me not writing:( but lets just say I had five papers to work on and I still have to maintain my A strike (god I hate myself for being this dedicated lolz) A few problems going on at home but it won't stop me! NO SIR! (Hopefully...)

I have good news! I am going to the Philippines this summer! Yes! So to all you Filipinos out there who are in/might be going to the Philippines I might see you. I'll be in Manilla the most and the Province for a while, so which me luck! Haha I am getting back to my roots again. After so many years of waiting I get to go back! : D Also 8 C2s for this story! : O amazing! Ha, ha. GAARA WON THE POLL! Yea my favorite and most liked character wins... Sorry Jamie lolz.

Sorry but this might mean you'll guys have to wait again... gomen, gomen, gomen. Please be patience! And too all of you who are I thank you.

1. Does anyone no how I am suppose to stop liking a guy I shouldn't like?!
2. Anyone want something from the Philippines? (Haha random =.=)
3. What is a good manga or anime out there besides Naruto? (I need something new in my life lolz)
4. Chapter length and is there enough detail?
5. Would you rather have the sharringan or the byakugan?

The fallow as usual: R&R! Flamers accepted. Ja-Ne!