Chapter 5: Fortune Faded

"If we don't change soon, we'll end up where we're going"

Professor Irwin Corey

It was six o'clock when the hustle and bustle started above me. I groaned as I made my way upstairs to the kitchen to see Ben sitting at the table eating cereal.

"Good morning." Ben said politely as he watched me in the doorway.

"Mornin'" I said looking in awe at the boy. I cant believe he's mine. I cant believe all of the stuff that I missed.

"Ben, are you finished?" Haley said as she rushed into the kitchen holding her high heels in one hand as she clipped on her earrings with the other. "Oh Luke, you're up." Haley said nonchalantly

"Yeah."

With nothing more than that mere acknowledgement she turned her attention to Ben.

"Anything going on in class today Ben?" She asks the five year old as he kisses to top of his head.

"We're playing basketball in gym." He said with a big grin. "And I think we're gonna paint." He added as an afterthought. "We always paint on Mondays."

"Cool." Haley responded. "Alright I'm about to head out, daddy's gonna take you to school okay buddy?"

"Okay Mama." Ben earned one last kiss on the cheek before Haley headed out the door.

"You like basketball?" I ask the little boy swinging his legs on the barstool where he sat.

"Um hum, my daddy is the best basketball player ever." Ben said proudly

"Yeah he is." I respond a little bitterly. How can I be jealous of what Nathan and Haley have if it was mine to begin with but I just gave it up?

"Did you even play basketball with him?"

His eyes match my own. He looks almost exactly like me when I was his age.

"Yeah." I respond rubbing the stubble that has sprung up on my chin.

Here is my son sitting in front of me asking me whether or not I've played basketball with Nathan. If only he knew our history.

"Hey look!" Ben said out of nowhere pulling me from my stool with a childish excitement.

He drags me toward the back of the house and stood on his tip toes to reach a door handle that was just out of his reach. Turning and giving me one last dimpled smile he pushes the door open.

Behind it sat the same puppy that Nathan had been holding as a gift for Ben the night before.

"You like him? My daddy got her for me!" Ben boasted proudly as he stuck his little chest out

"Yeah I do."

I watched as Ben took the puppy in his arms and let it ravage kisses all over his face.

"What'd you name him?"

"It's a girl." Ben corrected me, although in the past few minutes I had heard him refer to the dog as her, she, him, and it. "His name is Lebron."

"Lebron huh?"

"Uh huh. Like Lebron James."

"Hey Champ!" Nathan said as he appeared from around the corner.

"Morning Dad!" Ben shrieked as he ran over to Nathan who helped him get his "spiderman" backpack on.

"Hurry up and hop in the car, I don't want you to be late." He ushered the overexcited child out of the door.

Although I see a happy father and son and I am glad that Nathan picked up the slack where I obviously couldn't I cant shake the feeling that it should be me and Ben.

"Here." Nathan blandly tosses me something, a house key. "In case you decided to go out or something."

"Thanks." I answer dryly as I look down at the key in my hand.

Nathan scoffed at me as he turned on his heels.

"Maybe you should go see your mother." He added before closing the door.

My mom. I cant imagine how much all of this has hurt her. As much as I know that I should go to her now I have a lot of other things that I need to worry about. Little did I know that one of my worries was about to spring back into my life.

Rachels POV

Its funny because if you asked any of the people that I grew up with where they would be in five years they would have never said here. Luke would be somewhere writing the next great novel. Haley and Nathan would be traveling around the country following his NBA dreams. Peyton would be somewhere producing albums and finding the next great talent and dating some greasy musician or Luke. I would be a famous model somewhere and Brooke would have been a world famous fashion designer. Life has a funny way of slapping you in the face doesn't it?

"Charlotte!" I scream as I run toward the woman who is carrying my screaming daughter over to me. "Oh my gosh I am so sorry, what happened?!" I squealed as I retrieved my daughter from this womans arms.

"She was trying to walk across the monkey bars." The woman scoffed at me as she looked me up and down.

"Are you okay honey?" I ask my screaming daughter as I notice that her arm is bent in the wrong direction.

"She almost landed on top of my daughter." The woman snidely commented again.

"Thank you again." I say as I hurry away with Charlotte wailing in my arms. Quickly with my free hand I reclaim Gracies stroller and head to my car. I need to take her to the ER.

A few hours later

"Is she okay?" Peyton asks as she rushes into the hospital room.

"I nod. She's fine."

There is never a day that I don't question myself as a mother. I am twenty two years old and I have a three year old and an eight month old. When it- Charlotte - happened I was eighteen. It wasn't long after Lucas left. I had come back to town to help Brooke with Ben a bit and offer whatever little baby expertise I had. Brooke had begun to slip, being a single mother is a lot to deal with. I don't know how it happened with Mouth and I. Brooke was out doing whatever and I was babysitting and he came over. The next thing that I knew we were in bed. Nine months later Charlotte Brooke Gattina McFadden was born.

The only baby that I had held before her was Ben but that was completely different. When he cried I could give him back and I didn't have to wake up at 3am to feed him. Mouth had been great though…and then two years had passed, Brooke was gone and I was pregnant again. Nine months after that Gracie Olivia Gattina McFadden was born. It was also somewhere during that time that Mouth realized his dreams of being something big were right at his fingertips…

"What happened?" Peyton asked giving me a quick hug.

"She tried to walk across the monkey bars and fell." I sigh. I was watching her, I really was. It just gets so tiring sometimes.

"Did you call Mouth?" Peyton questioned as she pulled up a chair beside me.

"He's stuck in a meeting." I sigh. Gracie cuddles into my chest as she falls asleep, her legs splayed on either side of my waist.

Peyton and I became good friends over the years. We had banded together at a time for Brookes sake and then realized that we could actually tolerate one another.

"But he's coming though right?" Peyton asked

I shrug. Nothing seems more important to him than upholding this image that he had to portray. The youngest mayor of Tree Hill. The home grown prodigy that will lead us to small town greatness.

"I don't know how much longer I can put up with this Peyton." I confess as I let my anger take the place of my vulnerability. "I don't even understand why we are even together. It's not like he cares about me. I'm just the girl he knocked up and-"

"OH PLEASE RACHEL!" Peyton smirks as she cuts me off "Marvin McFadden has been madly in love with you since we were sixteen years old."

I sigh one last time as I look at my little girl lying in the hospital.

"Then what changed?" I ask myself

Later that same night

I glance at the clock. Eleven o'four. This had to be some meeting or he had better have one hell of a good excuse.

"Hey." He looks like a deer caught in head lights when he finally appears through the front door wearing his suit and carrying a briefcase like some big shot. "I didn't know that you were still awake." He tries the first of many lame excuses that he would be sure to offer my way tonight.

"You were supposed to be home at seven." I lamely take another sip of my coffee.

"I got tied up at work-"

"Well try telling that to your three year old daughter Mouth because she waited up for you until about fifteen minutes ago because she wanted you to sign her cast- or did you forget the fact that your daughter broke her arm today and you were nowhere to be found." I spat. Lately I've gotten over being angry or straight pissed off about it , I'm disgusted.

His face sinks a bit

"How long are we going to keep doing this Rach huh? You know that this election is coming up and it is really important to me. You're putting way too much pressure on me-" He raises his voice. Old Mouth never used to yell or scream.

Old Mouth and I used to be good for each other.

"What do you mean that I am putting pressure on you! Mouth when you have kids some things have to take a backseat."

"I cannot take care of my family without this job."

"Well hell then, maybe I should go take my children and find them a father that will actually be there for them-"

"Well something like that is easy enough for a whore now isn't it."

Before the words left his mouth my hand connected with his cheek- …before I could blink I received his right back. No, we were never meant to be this way. We both stare at one another with venom in our eyes.

"So what, you want me to sit around here and be the mayors house wife?" I ask as I try to suppress the tears that are sliding down my burning cheek.

"Yeah. I do." He said honestly. "Which is why-" He began straightening his tie "Before this election we're getting married."

It had all happened so fast. We weren't even dating when I had Charlotte, and then we were and then there was Gracie and Mouths career marriage hasn't been in the plans for me. At least not now.

"Hell if we are!" I shoot back but he grabs my arm. Hard.

"How do you think it looks that the mayor of this town has two illegitimate children with the former town slut-"

"Quite a hole that you dug for yourself huh Mouth?" I challenge him as he whips me towards his body. "And by the way, it's three illegitimate children." I add as I stare him dead in the eye.

"What?" He asks as his eyes narrow and bore into mine as he slightly releases his grip on my arm.

"Congratulations Mayor McFadden. Your third bastard child is on the way."

"All human situations have their inconveniences. We feel those of the present but neither see nor feel those of the future; and hence we often make troublesome changes without amendment, and frequently for the worse."

Benjamin Franklin