Chapter 4
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You Can Bet On It
Redecorating Spree
*EDIT*
Thank you SO MUCH to Insanity Breaking Point for noticing that I accidentally had Matt call Mello "him"!
If you see me do that PLEASE let me know!
Matt POV
She kissed me… on the lips. My first kiss. It kept echoing through my head as I stared at the entrance to her building. I pulled out of the parking lot and went to my apartment. I was surprised I made it home alive I was so distracted. I went up to my apartment and unlocked it jiggling the door a bit until it became unstuck enough to open. If everyone else in the building didn't have this problem too they probably would have thought I was trying to break in. I looked around the front room that was exposed and saw a giant pile of video game shit all over the room. There was a scratched-up coffee table covered in ring stains and food debris. There were also 5 overflowing ashtrays on it. Behind it was a ratty couch that was really comfortable but was covered in stains too and was made of cracked vinyl circa the dinosaur age. The floor had fast food cartons and energy drink cans scattered all over it. There was a giant LCD flatscreen TV with tons of gaming systems hooked up to it probably to the point where they were a fire hazard.
I walked into the next room which was really the other half of the first one. It had a wooden table that was also scratched and covered in ring stains and an old white wooden chair that tilted a bit to the left when you sat on it. There were fast food things on it too. The floor had food stains that made even the '5 second rule' more disgusting. There was an island, or peninsula I guess you could say since it attached to the wall, dividing that and the 'kitchen.' The 'kitchen' had a never-used stove from like the 60's, tons of empty cupboards, a cheap white refrigerator with –you guessed it– takeout food and energy drinks in it, a microwave that was absolutely filthy but I was too lazy to clean, a sink that had dishes that probably had been waiting to be washed for months, and a dishwasher that needed to be kicked every 23 minutes or it would stop.
The bedroom had a queen sized bed with a random collection of video game sheets, those Mario wall stickers that turned the walls into part of the game, an old antique nightstand with a desk lamp, a wall of monitors for my hacking and a desk with an office chair. The bathroom was supposed to have an all-white shower, sink, and toilet, but they were all off-white and moldy in some spots. The shower curtain was falling off too. There was a small mirror/cabinet for my 'toiletries' (read toothbrush, toothpaste, shaving cream, and razor; that's it), and one of those old fashioned standing white basin sinks with some fake silver faucets and plastic knobs with the 'hot' and 'cold' worn off. I live in a shithole! Holy crap what if Mello wants to come over? Damn it I need to clean… and seriously redecorate. Groaning I went to my computer to make a list.
Needed:
Coffee table
Trash bags
Cabinets
Couch
Kitchen table
Two chairs
Cleaning supplies (lots of bleach)
Scrubbing stuff
A new oven
A new dishwasher
Sponges
Dishwashing fluid
Dishwashing supplies
Rubber gloves
Lots of microwave friendly cleaning supplies
Possibly a better refrigerator
New nightstand
New lamp
New sheets
Vacuum cleaner
Quarters for the Laundromat (tons of them)
Washing machine cleaning stuff
A new shower curtain
Mold/mildew cleaner
Scrubbing stuff for that too
Toilet bowl cleaner
Cologne?
Air freshener
Possibly some lightbulbs
More than one type of outfit
Non combat-boot shoes
Conditioner
Shampoo
Soap
Possibly a gas mask
Possibly a flamethrower as well
I looked at the list and my jaw dropped. It was one and a half pages long. I grimaced and went to my computers to add it up. Dammit that's not gonna be cheap. Plus I'll need to pay the delivery guys… unless I buy the little stuff on my own then I'll only need to pay them for the appliances. I'll need people who will install them too. Maybe I could stop by the store in the mall. Sighing I printed out the list and put it on the desk then hacked some more money into my accounts. I would need it.
I went to bed not looking forward to the next day. When I woke up I got ready and grabbed the list with a grimace. I went to the mall and went to the store with all the little things for cheap. I ended up jamming the cart to the top. The checkout girl asked me if I was moving. I grimaced and told her I was renovating and she winced in sympathy.
I went out to my car and stuffed all of it in then went to the appliance store. Shit I didn't measure the spaces! I guess I should do that first then. Maybe I should cut corners and replace the microwave too so I don't have to clean it. After an exhausting unloading of all of the stuff and bringing it to my apartment I grabbed a ruler and did my best to measure the things. I went back to the appliance store and placed an order for all of them then went home and practically had to drag myself up the stairs and into bed.
The next day was even worse since I had to clean and redecorate. I carefully placed the Mario wall stuff in my closet along with my new clothes. I set up the tables and things and when I was done I didn't recognize my own apartment. I went to the bank next with my laundry in my car and withdrew some cash then went to the Laundromat and exchanged it for quarters. I went home and replaced the sheets then took a shower to wash and loosen my muscles. I then collapsed in bed. The next time I woke up I couldn't move I was hurting so bad. It wasn't until my stomach sounded like Rottweiler moved in that I went and took out some of the takeout food. I didn't heat it up not wanting to get salmonella poisoning. Cold Mu Shu Pork yum I thought sarcastically.
I looked at the clock and saw it was after business hours so it should be fine to call Mello. I pressed one on my speed dial and waited.
"Hello?" I heard her ask.
"Hey it's Matt" I greeted her.
"Matt? You sound exhausted are you OK?" she picked up on that huh?
"I um… I kinda re-decorated my whole apartment because it was… yeah it was really bad. I'm still trying to be able to move my limbs without them hurting." Jeez that sounded manly I thought with an eyeroll.
"Oh man I remember when I did that in college. Mind you it was my roommate's fault since he decided holding a frat party in just our room was a good idea. I did the world a favor by making sure he'd never have kids. To this day they probably call him 'Squeaky'."
I winced. "Remind me never to mess with you. But why did you room with a guy?"
"It was a co-ed dorm and we both signed up too late and got the scraps in potluck."
"I never went to college. I was too busy self-educating. Plus I have too short an attention span and am too lazy to really have done very well." It was true. The thought of spending hours in one seat that wasn't in front of a computer or in my car made me shudder in fear.
"I got a bachelor's. Mind you I graduated a year early in gradeschool since I skipped a grade so I was the youngest in my college." She skipped a grade? Wow she must be really smart!
"What was it in?" I didn't know what majors were possible.
"Criminal pathology with a minor in Martial Arts. My specialty is Kung Fu. I like Northern Shaolin style its kickass." She knows Kung Fu?
"Hang on I'll pull up a video." I went to the computer then pulled up a video site and typed it in. I came up with a video link that looked interesting. My jaw dropped as the dude did these super cool flips and kicks. "Can you do those big kick things?" I asked.
"Yeah. I still practice them. It takes a lot of stretching for some of them if you don't want to hurt yourself. My work partner taught me some Capoeira that's C-A-P-O-E-I-R-A which is a really fast paced Brazilian martial art."
"Brazilian?" I asked as I was pulled out of my dream world of imagining her stretching.
"That's what I said" she laughed. "Apparently it was created by slaves who wanted to practice fighting without alerting their masters so they made it like a dance. It actually has its own still-existing style of music because of that."
"Lemme look that up too." I pulled up another video and saw it. "Wow that is like dancing! Hey can you do any other martial arts?"
"I minored in them remember?" she said with a laugh. "I can also do basic Taekwondo and some medium-level Karate. Oh and Tai Chi which is good with balance and visualization as well as breathing."
"Tai Chi?" I asked incredulously. Tai Chi compared to those badass flips?
"Yeah it's rather soothing as a wind-down from practice. Plus I suck at Yoga for some reason. My Sifu said it was because I was quote 'like fire and need to move even when controlled'. It is pretty true." I had to agree with her. Even with just the little I knew of her I could tell she was like fire. "Ouch!" I heard her say then hiss and I heard a sucking noise and I assumed she was sucking on whatever wound she just made.
"Are you OK?" I asked worried.
"Yeah some of the water for my spaghetti bubbled onto me when I added the noodles. I have the phone on speaker in case you were wondering." I hadn't picked up on the echo until now.
"You can cook?" Arrgh dumbass you pretty much just told her you can't! I hit my forehead with the heel of my free hand.
"Yeah. I started to get sick of takeout so I started learning. I'm not a master chef or anything but I can cook basic stuff. That and make jam for blackmailing look-alike brothers." I heard her add the last bit under her breath.
"You have a look-alike brother?" I was curious about that.
"No my partner does. You can tell if it's my partner because they have gray almost black eyes. Their brother, or half-brother I should say I guess, has chocolate brown eyes. Really other than that if they aren't talking you can't tell them apart. The blackmailing jerk is really snarky though unlike my partner but he's still a good friend. Well except for when he's manipulating me into making homemade jam for him. He's addicted to it."
"To jam?" How the Hell can you be addicted to jam?
She laughed. "Just a warning, no one at my workplace is even remotely normal including myself." I heard a snapping noise.
"What was that snapping?"
"I broke off some of my chocolate bar. Get used to that too I rarely am seen without one. I would say I sneak them in at work but everyone brings in weird stuff that they're not supposed to. Lollipops, jam, chocolate, apples, toys-"
"Toys?" Toys in a professional workplace?
"Yeah. My arch-nemesis Near is like a child when it comes to them. Although it is fun to startle him when he's making giant dice towers and make them all fall." She let out an evil cackle. "Oh I have to go I need to hurry and make this and eat since I need to go to another meeting. I get paid overtime though so it's all cool."
"OK bye." I said sad to hang up.
"Bye. I'll call you as soon as I can. Oh wait don't call me between 5 and 8 tomorrow morning I'll be out with my phone off. Call you later!"
5 and 8? I looked at the calendar on my phone and saw today was Saturday not Friday like I had thought. Tomorrow is Sunday what could she be doing that early?
For those curious about how I know about Northern Shaolin Kung Fu I watch Avatar: The Last Airbender and found out Firebending is mostly based off of it. It seemed like something Mello would have fun doing since it is pretty badass but is also a big test of skills.