Author's note:Since Darcy and Zartan have a nasty habit of taking over their scenes and taking them in different directions than the original outline, there are now two versions of this chapter. This version is the T-rated one. The racier version will be uploaded to my DeviantArt account; just search the title of the story and you should find it with no trouble.
Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot.
Of Spells and Serpents
4. Grown-up Discussions
Stormy opted to stay at the main base (apparently named the Terrordrome) with Icy the first night, since the older woman would be far less likely to hurt her later if she stuck around for a while. As much as she wanted to spend more time talking with Zarana, she needed to appease her older sister more. She was already in trouble for not immediately informing the de facto leader of Darcy's decision to leave with Zarana's older brother and couldn't afford to fall any farther from favor at the moment.
Icy continued to pace across the north wall of the room like a caged predator. Stormy hoped that sitting down to a nice, quiet dinner between the two of them would improve Icy's mood, but it only served to remind her of Darcy's apparent defection. She tried to ignore the older woman's actions and focus on watching the TV in their quarters, but occasionally Icy's ponytail would swish across her line of sight and block it. After the fourth or fifth time, the Storm Witch had enough.
"If you're so geared up to get out of here, why don't you go hit up one of those big wigs we met earlier?" She snapped. "You're distracting me and blocking the screen!"
"Who put you in charge?" The Ice witch hissed.
"You're not doing anything but pacing and growling!" Stormy grumbled. Darcy was right; Icy needed a boyfriend. Or maybe just a friend with benefits. Just because she didn't understand the fascination her sister witches had with sex didn't mean she couldn't identify when one of them was in sore need of it. "Go hit one of them up. Take them out to dinner. I don't care. Just stop pacing!"
Icy whirled on her, silvery eyes burning. "Hit one of them up? What, are you taking notes from Darcy now?"
"Just go talk to one of them and get out of here so I can watch TV!" Stormy groaned. Maybe she should have taken Zarana up on that offer to stay over tonight after all?
Icy left in a huff, door slamming behind her as she stalked into the hallway. Of all the nerve! After all she'd done for the brat, she had the gall to kick her out of their room?! She should be the one kicking people out, not Stormy!
But as much as she wanted to deny it, she needed to flag down one of the two big wigs and pick their brains about this whole 'alliance' business. Since metal-mask wasn't likely to talk to her after the ferret weasel incident, she elected to hunt the mysterious 'Serpentor' instead. Finding his throne room didn't take long. She rolled her eyes at the decorations. All snake-themed in gold or emerald green to the point of gaudiness and boasting a stuffy quality usually found in royal palaces. Serpentor himself won the award for most useless costume ever. At least Darkar's armor served a purpose of protection; this guy looked like he'd fit in better at a comic convention.
"Taking the whole snake motif a bit too far, big guy." She smirked at his startled expression. She did so love startling idiot monarchs. "You'll be taken a lot more seriously a villain if you tone it down."
"Who dares to…" he sputtered.
"The woman who brought the magical world to its knees, that's who." Dude wasn't worth wasting magic on. "I hear you're the man running the show, but I find that hard to believe. No great leaders I've ever met would be caught dead in that ridiculous get-up."
"I am the greatest in the world! The product of combining the DNA of the greatest military men in recorded history!" He protested. "The world will bow before me!
"And yet you have no country to rule, an ego the size of a red giant star, and the patience of a spoilt toddler." Obviously he inherited all of Earth's worst personality traits. "Face it, you'll never rule the realm without a personality makeover and competent help that fears you."
"And you would be that help?" He asked.
"Dragon, no!" She scoffed. "I'm done bowing to idiot despots with delusions of unattainable grandeur. No, I'm your ally up until your tech guy can figure out how to send my sisters and I home."
"I have no use for allies!" He growled.
"Then you are more foolish than I thought, and that's quite an accomplishment!" She narrowed her eyes at him.
"You will respect my authority! This I command!" His childish threat reverberated off the metal walls of the chamber.
"No, I won't. I don't bow to children in grown-up bodies." She turned on her heel and walked to the door. He needed to learn to respect her authority, and she had just the plan to force the issue. If only she could get the annoying man in the blue uniform to co-operate…
Darcy never spent much time in swamps. Forests, caves, ice caverns, and cosmopolitan cities, but no swamps during her stay in the magical dimension. She still didn't know if she liked the swamp. It was humid and warm with slime on nearly every surface. But the sun barely shone through the dense cypress canopy above the murky depths, doubly so for the shack that served as the entrance to Zartan's headquarters.
The Dreadnoks, his live-in employees, were loud, foul, and destructive. She overheard them discussing 'the frizzy haired bird' when they arrived and realized they'd met her younger 'sister'. They'd apparently gotten on like a house on fire and practically demolished one of the target shooting ranges. At one time, many years ago, she might worry about the Dreadnoks taking advantage of Stormy, but she'd since realized the odds of that happening were slim. Yes, they were bigger than her, but discounting Zartan's two siblings, the group had the collective intelligence of a hunting troll and smelled just as bad. Besides, Stormy never showed any interest in sex or dating. Her sister was safe from their grabby hands (which she would likely electrocute in the event of any unwanted advances).
"Penny for your thoughts?" For the record, she did not freak out when her host suddenly appeared beside the armchair she claimed as her own.
"Only a penny?" She raised an eyebrow. "Come on, they're worth a whole credit, at least."
"Must be some deep thinking."
"Don't forget inflation; that drives the price up too."
"True. Would you accept other offers in lieu of money?"
She probably shouldn't, but it had been well over a year since her last relationship and she was damn tired of trying to scratch that particular itch on her own…not that Valtor had been any good at doing it for her… "Depends on what you plan to offer me. If it's good enough, you might get more than just my thoughts."
He offered a smirk that showed he knew exactly what she meant. "Would dinner and a glass of wine be sufficient?"
"For a start, I suppose." She smirked. "We'll just have to see how things go from there."
"Indeed we shall."
It took Icy half an hour of aimless wandering to find where the victim of her last burst of magic holed himself up. The room was ornately decorated. Not quite as gaudy as Serpentor's throne room, but definitely leaning heavily on the notion of 'more is more'. It made sense, from what little she'd heard about the man. He used to be in charge of Cobra, until the resident scientist made a replacement. Borderline insane and plagued with an extreme case of narcissism, but a brilliant strategic planner when he put his mind to it. She could use someone like that.
He also wasn't in the room when she entered, which made for quite the amusing scene when he walked in from the en-suite in a cowl, bathrobe and pajamas. "You! You dare invade my personal quarters!" He hissed.
"Chill out." She rolled her eyes at his theatrics. Drama queen, much? "I'm here to offer you a deal."
His eyes—the only part of his face she could make out—narrowed. "What kind of deal? I believe you already worked that out with Destro."
"Destro and my coven have a deal, true, but this one is just between the two of us." She explained. "I want to gain the respect and fear of the people on this planet; you want Serpentor gone by any means necessary and to rule the world."
"You propose an alliance, eh?" He might have frowned, but she couldn't see. "How do I know that you won't make the same offer to Serpentor?"
"Because I tried to make the same offer to him as Cobra's leader and he shot me down." She sneered. "Said alliances were beneath him, the blustering fool."
"And childish. For all the military prowess he displays, he knows nothing of subtlety and patience." Cobra Commander added. "I suppose it's to be expected. He's the sum of parts that didn't play well with others."
"But you know when it's time to play nice, don't you?" She purred, stepping closer. "You understand the opportunity standing in front of you."
"I do. But I remain unconvinced it is worth the effort."
"Please, you know what I can do. That little bit of transfiguration is a party trick where I come from. Here, there's no one to stop me. I can bring entire cities to their knees long enough for you to swoop in and take over."
Cold eyes stared into her silvery ones. "I suppose a temporary alliance could be…beneficial enough to outweigh the risks, for now."
"Now is all I'm asking for, Commander." She smiled. "I think I'll see myself out."
"Please do." He sounded rather put out that she entered in the first place, not that she really blamed him.
With a wink, she spun on the high heels of her boots and departed. Yes, she could definitely use someone like him, and the feeling was probably mutual.
Dinner was a quaint but enjoyable affair taken in Zartan's quarters. He claimed that he didn't want to subject her to the Dreadnoks' atrocious table manners quite yet; she suspected and hoped for more ulterior motives. From a rather mundane yet interesting dinner conversation, they moved to his couch. She again hoped for some less-than-pure motivation on his part as they continued to talk. At some point during their chats, the subject of specialty training came up.
"Master of disguise, hmm?" She raised an eyebrow at him. "And how exactly do you manage that feat? Your features are rather distinctive."
"A magician never reveals his secrets, though perhaps if you stick around, you'll figure it out on your own." He answered.
"And you fancy yourself a magician?"
"Certainly not one on your level, but I do have a few tricks up my sleeve."
"I bet you do." She purred, leaning closer to him. "Would you mind teaching me a few?"
"Is this offer a mutual exchange?" His unnaturally vivid eyes shimmered in the dim lighting.
She was so focused on his face that she missed the hand reaching for hers until she felt his thumb brush against her knuckles. A pleasant shiver raced down her spine. "It can certainly be arranged, though I'm not sure what tricks you already know. Won't do either of us much good to bother with things we know by heart."
"I agree." He pulled her closer. "Best get the preliminary 'tests' out of the way now."
Their lips met. Her heart rate sped up. Dragon, it had been entirely too long since she'd last done anything like this. Their hands tangled in each other's hair as the kiss deepened; one of his somehow found the tie of her halter top and swiftly untied it. The t-shirt he'd been wearing wound up on the floor. "I think we need to move this discussion to a new location." She looked the bed before meeting his darkened eyes.
"Indeed." He murmured in her ear, his breath warm against the exposed skin on her neck. Next thing she knew, they were on his bed.