all the good people in the universe retweeted it and were moved by what was going on. god, moses, leroy jenkins, super mario bros, godzilla, squidward, postman pat and his black and white cat, george washington, the three stooges, kermit frog, kanye west everyone was there to kick the shit from british people.
"give it up gay boys, you're about to get fucked by christianity" said jesus christ.
but the not so savory types also checked their twitters... the devil, ted bundy, jack the ripper, kony 2012, plankton, team rocket, the wacky racers, slenderman, atilla the hun, gandhi and all their friends showed up to beat jesus up in the final battle.
"this is it. the final battle between good and evil. if you all die you lose and christianity dies forever." said the devil
and so they all started punching each other. it was a battle that tore apart britain, and lasted a million years - burney the dinosaur committed an unnumbered amount of molestation during the confusion, postman pat's cat developed a taste for human flesh and had to be put down. eventually everyone died because kim jong il dropped a nuclear bomb. even god and the devil could not withstand the blast.
only boris johnson, and voldemort left standing. "this is the part where you say good morrow!" boris johnson said, preparing spirit bomb to throw at voldemort.
"boris johnson, the boy who lived... good morrow for you... FOREVER!" volemort shouted. "AVADA KEDAVRA" then a flash of green light blew boris johnson into a million pieces. by the time his giblets rained down on the floor of the house of parliament, the 8,000 year old legendary immortal mayor of london was finally dead. the whole world wept for him -
- but all was not lost. janek, the guy who everyone had forgotten at the start of the fight because he was from netherlands, was laying on the floor, dying from radiation poisoning of the nuclear bomb. he saw a bright light and the spirit of steve jobs was next to him. "you were good kid, you were real good, maybe even the best. your ipad survived the nuclear blasts because ipads are very durable"
janek's breathing was shallow. he hacked and coughed while he tried to talk. "i bet windows and android tablets would not survive a nuclear blast. at least i can die knowing i got good value for my money."
"yes the apple ipad is excellent. its expensive but its worth it." said steve jobs. "but the main issue here is, voldemort is going to bring 10,000 yearso f darkness to hogwarts. you need to reprogram hitler's space sattelite that he used to boil the jews to kill voldemort"
"ok" said janek and he reprogrammed it using the hitler satellite reprogramming app which came free with the ipad. the satellite concentrated the sun's energy and evaporated voldemort.
in the end everyone died, scotland didn't get their independence and the world carried on as it always had. a very popular book was wrote about what happened, but some of the names were changed. i think the book is called "the bible", its really good and you should read it. also if you're reading this and you are apple please contact me i will give you my and you can send me money because i put you in my book.
THE END