A Royal Pain
Disclaimer: I don't own iCarly
A/N: Yes I know, I'm doing another iCarly, this I tried to make this an oneshot but it was getting too long for it. ICarly is the best for the plot idea in my head. The characters are 16 here.
Chapter 4 (Elegance)
"Where did Sam go?" Freddie asked as he sat in the classroom. He looked around and every girl in the class was staring at him, the most awkward was Carly. Carly leaned in toward Freddie and he leaned backwards. "How am I supposed to find a dang queen with all of this? Carly's freaking me out more than usual with the way she's staring at me as though I was Jake." Freddie rubbed his forehead and looked at the teacher. "Can I go to the restroom?"
"Is that a good idea?" The teacher asked with a smirk. Freddie blinked and imagined himself being chased into the restroom.
"They wouldn't be dumb enough to follow me in there, would they?"
"Stranger things have happened."
"You're telling me…" Freddie sighed as a piece of paper landed on his desk. He picked it up and unfolded it. "Hmm…be my prince…It is notes like these that are going to keep me from choosing anyone!"
"You know, you could just try to find a princess."
"Do you happen to know any princesses? Furthermore, Sam and I never talked about what I get if she loses the bet!"
"What did you bet on?" The teacher chuckled and walked over to Freddie.
"I find a princess by the end of the week and she finds a tech producer within the end of the week. If I lose, I have to take either…" Freddie looked over at Carly and then Valerie and frowned. "I have to choose a girl that I really would rather not choose."
"Well it's better than nothing."
"Yeah, you know what; I really would rather not have any girls that fawn like this."
"Why?"
"It makes it difficult to choose anyone because they're all doing exactly the opposite of what I would rather them do. I'd rather not deal with a million girls fawning over me! Watch this…" Freddie stood up and all the girls let out some gasps. "Uh-huh…okay, which of you wants to be my bride and take the royal seat of the queen?"
"I do!" Every girl in the room shouted as they squealed with joy.
"Damn, I feel like a celebrity that's being crushed and suffocated. I don't even know how to act like royalty and these girls aren't going to make very good royal partners!"
"I have to agree, none of them seem to have that elegance or anything."
"Yeah, I can see what mean, maybe you should go hide in the restroom."
"I'd be trapped there all day with nobody to get me out. You see Carly acting like a nut…"
"Not very ladylike at all."
"No, and there's Valerie, drooling…" Freddie raised his eyebrow and sighed. "I don't know where Sam is and I have to swim in pools of girls."
"I'm sorry, but I thought you would enjoy that."
"Yeah…I don't think so, not now."
"Feel up to running to the principal's office?"
"Do you think that would be the best escape?"
"Yes."
"Then if I have to, I'll definitely do it." Freddie slowly inched his way to the door. He opened it and found girls standing outside. "Oh come on! That's it!" Freddie ran toward the window and opened it.
"Uh, what are you doing?"
"I'm taking a dive, what do you think? Sam pushed me out a window before, I'll be fine." Freddie climbed out the window and held onto the ledge. "Now to get the hell out of here!"
"Yep, these girls definitely are making him crazy."
-NEW SCENE-
"You're coming home awfully early, Sam," Mr. Puckett said. Sam shrugged as her dad parked the car in the driveway.
"I don't care." Sam got out of the car and walked into the house, her mom was standing in the living room with a smile on her face.
"Hello there young lady," Mrs. Puckett said. "Do you know what day it is?"
"Yeah it's Friday, so what?" Sam stopped walking and lifted her eyes to the sky. "Aw man, I had to choose today to come home early!"
"Yep, and we also called Francine."
"Yeah, yeah…so when does Mrs. Briggs get here?"
"Already here!" Mrs. Briggs said as she walked into the room. "Come now Samantha."
"You know you're supposed to call me Sam, right?"
"Fine, just come here Sam." Sam took off her backpack and set it on the ground. "Don't slouch!"
"I wasn't…" Mrs. Briggs put her hands in the air and moved them down in a straight motion.
"Posture Sam, it's all about posture."
"You have got to be kidding me; can I just relax for a few hours? I have a headache for crying out loud."
"Come with me."
"Why aren't you at school like you're supposed to be?"
"Because every week I have you as a student and I have to be here for you." Sam sighed as she followed Mrs. Briggs into another room, she found her desk and leaned onto it. "Sit up straight!"
"Okay! Sheesh!" Sam sat straight up and crossed her arms. "Are we happy now?"
"I'm sorry Sam; it's just that I have to do that."
"Whatever just start the stupid lessons so I can eat something."
"Would you like a sandwich?"
"Yes of course!"
"I repeat, would you like a sandwich?" Sam rolled her eyes and sighed.
"Yes ma'am, I would love a sandwich. Could you please fetch me a turkey sandwich?" Mrs. Briggs smiled and pressed a button on her desk.
"Charles, could you fetch Ms. Puckett a sandwich?"
"Yes ma'am." Sam sighed and leaned her head on her hand.
"Uh-uh, sit up straight! Shoulders flat."
"Why are you being so much more strict than usual?" Sam asked as she narrowed her eyes.
"It is because of that dance that you're going to in a week. You need to embrace your ladylike elegance."
"Why? Can't I just do it how I want to do it?"
"I suppose, but you want to look beautiful."
"Are you saying that I don't look good, Mrs. Briggs?"
"Uh…no! Of course not!" Mrs. Briggs chuckled nervously and begun the lesson for Sam. "Now when everything is made as simple and striking as possible, there probably is no time to develop such a complicated characteristic as 'being ladylike' and the former concept 'lady' meant also beauty. Not the beauty of features or clothes, but a graceful behavior coming from self-control. A lady is not loud-voiced, her laughter is not shrill, she moves freely and peacefully. Everything in her is beautiful even when she is homely."
"Spoken by Kersti Bergroth, the Finnish writer, right?"
"Yes, that is correct."
"I think that I'm pretty good in doing all that."
"Yes, but you still give people wedgies…"
"Hey, that's only one person, and that's Freddie!"
"It would be much more proper to call him by his title."
"I hope you mean Dork Freddie or Tech Geek." Sam smiled and Mrs. Briggs frowned.
"No, he is to be referred as he is, Prince Freddie. Then he will be a King."
"Hah, that's only if he can find someone to be a queen!" Sam looked over to see a man bring a turkey sandwich in the room, he placed in on the desk that Sam was at and stood up straight. "Thank you." Sam picked up the sandwich and started to take a bite.
"Ahem…" Sam looked up and noticed Charles still standing there.
"Oh, right, I'm sorry. Thank you very much Charles, you may go now."
"Yes ma'am," Charles said as he bowed and left the room.
"Ugh, this elegance crap is just too…too much."
"Watch your tongue!" Mrs. Briggs scolded.
"You can't teach me to be ladylike that well…I'm already as ladylike as they come. At least I'm more ladylike than the girls at the school who are all fawning over F…I'm sorry, Prince Freddie. God, I liked it better when I had to refer to him as Mr. Benson."
"It is the proper term."
"You know what quote I really like?"
"What?"
"Well, Jennie Jerome Churchill spoke this in the book you gave me. It says 'You may be a Princess or the richest woman in the world, but you cannot be more than a lady.'"
"You like that particular quote?"
"Yeah, it tells me that I can't get any more ladylike if I tried." Sam took a bite from her sandwich. "Even if I may be slightly 'unrefined' as you say it…I still think I'm doing just fine."
"Hm…Mae West tells you that the best way to be a lady, is to see how other ladies do it. You should watch your mother."
"I watch her every single day. Besides I'm a perfect lady with perfect manners."
"What makes you say that?"
"Valerie and Judith Martin." Mrs. Briggs raised her eyebrow and crossed her arms. "Judith Martin, the book says that she's says this: 'Miss Manners cannot think of a more succinct definition of a lady than 'someone who wants to punch another person in the nose, but doesn't.'"
"So how does this Valerie come into the picture?"
"I really don't like her, never did." Sam took another bite of her sandwich and chewed. She swallowed and set her sandwich down, she picked up her napkin and wiped her mouth. "When she came into the picture, I really wanted to hit her. I never did hit her."
"It's good to see you actually study that book I told you to study. You've really memorized a few quotes."
"Yeah, but why do I feel like I want to go back to school?" Sam sighed and hit her forehead on the desk once and kept it there.
There's the chapter, hm, I wonder why she's taking elegance lessons? Could be a reason for it...tell me what you think! Drop a review but if you do, could you give me something more than just "update." Thanks for all the reviews this has recieved so far by the way!