Chapter 4- The Ultimatum

Please review!! Notice how I mixed up the pairs, and didn't just keep them like KisaIta or DeiTobi. Tell me what you think.

All characters-Kishimoto

Hope you enjoy. Here we go:

So, there they were, in Kitsune's room, all stuck together in one way or another. Three pairs were hand in hand, one was back to back, one had an arm around the other, but no pair was in as bad of a situation as Itachi's and Kakuzu's. The only way that they could stand up was by Kakuzu standing up, and Itachi dangling upside-down by his ankle from Kakuzu's neck. It was quite painful for the both of them, not to mention it looked very awkward.

"I swear stitch-man, what are the odds that the one time you don't have your cloak and mask on, we all get covered in superglue that only sticks to skin? I mean, come on!" Itachi said; face beginning to turn red due to the fact that he was hanging upside-down.

"I don't wanna hear it! I'm the one that has to carry you around all day until Kitsune-chan can come up with a solvent to this sticky mess. It's a good thing you're the smallest member of Akatsuki! The only reason that you're not ripping my skin off is because I have to hold on to you with some of my tentacles!" Kakuzu shouted back, his face growing red due to anger.

"Which is very creepy, by the way!"

"My tentacles aren't creepy. They're just different!"

"They are so creepy! I've killed for so much less than this and I'll damn sure do it again!"

"You couldn't kill me if you tried, Uchiha!"

"I will fuckin' Sharingan your sorry ass into the next dimension!"

"Itachi-san please calm down, I'm sure that Kitsune-san has a solution that can get us out of this mess." Kisame said, knowing the dangers of the small, yet powerful shinobi.

"Shhhh, be quiet Kisame-san, let em' fight, I'd like to see the Uchiha kill Kakuzu." Hidan whispered in Kisame's ear, with a smirk on his evil (yet oh so smexy) face.

Nenriki, who was close enough to hear this, started to giggle, covering her available right hand over her mouth.

Deidara cleared his throat, "You do have a solution to this, don't you, Kitsune, un?"

"Uhhhhhhhhhhhh, maybe?" Kitsune said, with a shifty gaze. "I mean, I tried for weeks when I stuck Hitari's hand to that tree, but I could never find an adequate solution. However, that was years ago, when I didn't have as much experience with this type of stuff. I'll give it my best shot, but even if I do get it right, it'll definitely take awhile to perfect. My advice is to go about your regular business the best you can until it's ready." Kitsune said, trying to sound more confident than she felt.

"How the hell am I supposed to 'go about my business' with Weasel-chan here stuck to my back?" Kakuzu complained, pointing to said weasel.

"Hey! I don't appreciate-"

"Shut it Uchiha."

"As the Akatsuki Leader, I command you to have this ready in one week, or so help me I will make things very uncomfortable for all three of you." Pein said, pointing to the three guests.

"What are you gonna do?" Nenriki asked skeptically, clearly not knowing the full extent of the Leader's powers.

"I'll give you a hint. It's three words, it starts will 'I'll," and it ends with 'ill you.'"

"Ah. Now I see." Nenriki said, growing paler than she already had been.

"B-but Pein-sama, they're our guests, you wouldn't go and betray our hospitality just like that, un. Would you, un?" Deidara said, hopefully.

"What kind of guests freakin' glues their hosts together?"

"Ah, touché, un."

"I'm sure that our new guest will be able to get us unstuck before the time limit is up." Zetsu commented.

"If not, we can just 'dispose' of her after Pein-sama deals with her." The other, creepier (and cooler) Zetsu added.

"Well, if I know Kitsune like I think I do, she likes to work alone in silence. So I believe all of us, save for Deidara, of course, should be on our way and leave her to do her thing." Nenriki said, heading towards the door with Hidan.

They all departed, save for Pein and Zetsu who were glued together.

"Remember Kitsune- ah, hold on. Zetsu, please turn around."

They slowly shuffled their feet to turn around so Pein was face to face with Kitsune and Deidara.

"What was I saying? Oh yes- remember Kitsune-chan, one week, and one week only. Deidara-san, I trust you are capable of keeping her on task, because if you're not, I might 'accidentally' hurt you in the process of ending your sister." Pein said in a serious tone, yet a small, almost invisible smile was on his face when he said "accidentally."

And without another word, Pein and Zetsu headed for the door, although, due to Zetsu's size, it was rather awkward for the both of them to squeeze through the door. After much pushing and grunting, they left Deidara and Kitsune alone in the room to contemplate their fate if they were unsuccessful.

"Hey, Dei?'

"Yeah, un.?"

"What did Zetsu mean when he said 'dispose' of me?"

"Oh, that means he's going to eat you, un." He said matter-of-factly. "He will tear you apart limb from limb and devour your entire body."

"Oh... ok."

There was a long silence, during which Kitsune had to hold back her tears.

"Deidara, I am so sorry for getting you into this mess. I shouldn't have put my little brother in this position, especially with your boss." Kitsune said, burying her head in her hand.

"It's ok, really, un." Deidara said with as much sincerity as he could muster. "Besides," he added, "I may still be younger than you, but I'm not a little kid anymore. I've grown up a lot and I can take care of myself pretty well, un." He finished, trying to put his arm around his older sibling, but only succeeded in going into a position that only double jointed people should do.

Then, Kitsune started to giggle softly, and was soon joined by Deidara.

"Lil' bro?"

"Yeah, un?"

"Thanks."

"Welcome, un."

"…"

"Well," Kitsune said, after a long silence, "we better be gettin' started soon, if we want to meet Pein-sama's deadline."

"Yeah, un."

IN THE LIVING ROOM

The Akatsuki members were back to talking about random things, most sitting in very awkward positions, when suddenly, a strange realization came to Hidan.

"Hey, everyone! Anyone see where Tobi and Damu ran off to?" Hidan asked, scanning the room.

"Um, I think I saw them heading towards Deidara and Tobi's room." Konan, the lone female answered.

"Ugh, I'm getting worried about them, with them hallucinating about Sasori's ghost and all. Tobi is probably rubbing off on Damu more than is safe." Hidan said, clearly annoyed.

"Hey now! There's just no way that I'd be having the same hallucination as those two idiots!" Nenriki yelled, stomping her foot.

"Oh, yeah, sorry baby- uh, I mean, Nenriki-san." Hidan said sheepishly, blushing like mad. "It's probably just the wind, or something. I mean, Sasori's ghost can't really exist, can it?" Hidan asked, hopefully.

"Yeah, I guess, I-I suppose you're right." She said, wanting to believe what Hidan said.

Hidan let out a sigh of relief, but not at the fact that Sasori's ghost probably wasn't real.

When they reached Tobi and Deidara's room they heard hushed whispering from within. Not even bothering to knock (They weren't girls, after all) they slowly opened the door to reveal Tobi and Damu rummaging through drawers and cabinets, throwing out their contents at random. When they heard footsteps, they quickly stopped what they were doing and stared at each other.

"Damnit Tobi! I thought I told you to lock the door."

"I was, but Tobi forgot."

"I- yeah, I probably would have forgotten to too." Damu said rubbing the back of his head and blushing.

"Tobi, Damu what the hell are you guys doing in here? Deidara is gonna be pissed when he sees what you did to his room" Hidan said.

"You have to promise not to tell anyone, ok? Damu whispered.

"Ok, fine, whatever. So, what are you guys doing in here?"

Damu sighed, and opened his mouth to answer. "We were looking for clues, so we could prove that Sasori's ghost was real. Tobi thought that there might be some of Sasori's old stuff left in here, since he used to share this room with Deidara." Damu winced, expecting to get hit or yelled, as usual, for having such a stupid idea. Neither happened.

"Well?" Hidan asked.

"Well, what?" Tobi asked back, clearly confused.

"Well, have you found anything?" Hidan elaborated.

"Ah- no, we haven't. Not a single scrap of clothing or a sliver of a puppet." Damu replied.

"Didn't think so. We threw out all of Sasori's old stuff to make room for you, Tobi."

"Dang. Tobi was hoping that he and Damu-kun could use something of his to lure him out, or prove that he was real."

"Well," Damu said, clapping his hands together, earning a surprised grunt from Tobi as his hand was pulled with his, "we made quite a mess in here, so we should better clean up if there's nothing more we can do in here."

They all helped clean up, putting clothes back in their drawers, Tobi's toys back in the boxes, and Deidara's hair care products back in the cabinets.

"Hey, Tobi! Does this shirt go in this closet?" Damu asked.

"Yeah, Damu, just hang it up, right over there."

"Ok. Now I just need to find a hang- Ah!"

"A-a hangah? Don't you mean hanger?"

"No, ugh, the floorboard just came loose and I stepped in it. Now my foot's stuck, damn it all!" Damu said, wincing because the pain in his foot.

"Ok, no problem. We'll just all pull you out at once and you'll come right out." Hidan said calmly.

They all grabbed onto Damu's right arm, which was the one still attached to Tobi.

"Ok, ready Damu? One, two, three, pull!"

With the combined strength of the four nin, Damu's foot came out easily. In fact, they were so strong that they were all sent flying across the room, along with some of the floorboard and some things that Damu's foot had picked up. Some of these things were a mesh shirt, some wire, and a bottle filled with a mysterious purple liquid. All of which landed on top of Damu's head.

"OW, that hurt. Huh- what is this stuff?"

"No way!" Hidan exclaimed. "You guys found it."

"Found what?" Nenriki asked.

"Sasori's things. This here is the shirt he wore when he wasn't in Hiruko, this is some of the coil from his stomach, and this here is the poison he used to put in his puppets." Hidan said, not a moment too soon, considering that Damu was about to drink a drop of the liquid to see what it was. He quickly put the bottle back on the ground with a shifty gaze on his face. "I don't know how it'll help you guys do anything about your ghost issues, even if it did exist, but I had always wondered where Sasori-san kept all of his stuff."

"Well, it's a start. Come on Tobi, let's go look at this stuff closer in my room closer." Damu said, trying to get up, but immediately falling back down. "Ow, ow, ow! I-I think I hurt my foot." He said looking down, gasping when he saw his pants slowly turning red with blood.

"Oh, wow. That looks painful. C'mon, let's go take you to Zetsu. He's pretty good with basic injuries." Hidan said.

"It's ok, Hidan-san, Tobi will take him himself." Tobi said cheerfully.

"Whatever. Just leave the stuff here. You can come back for it after you fix up Damu.

Tobi and Damu headed towards Zetsu's (and Pein's) room, Damu with a slight limp.

"That was really weird." Damu said, with his eyebrow furrowed.

"Yeah, what are the odds that we'd find Sasori's stuff like that?"

"Well, that too, but I was talking about Nenriki."

"What about her?" Tobi asked.

"Well, normally, she hits me or yells at me for doing stupid stuff, swears constantly, and never stops talking. However, she was strangely silent when she was with us." Damu said, barely speaking above a whisper.

"Yeah, Hidan is usually just like you described Nenriki as, but he didn't cuss at all, in fact, he was almost… nice." Tobi said, confusion in his voice.

They walked in silence for some time before a thought suddenly came to Damu's head.

"Ya know what I think it is?" He said to Tobi. When Tobi didn't reply, he continued. "I noticed that Nenriki and Hidan couldn't stop looking at each other. Also, they were blushing a lot." Damu went on, a smile growing on his face the more he talked.

"You don't think that-?"

"Yeah, I do."

"They're whipped."

"They're smitten."

They both started giggling at the thoughts of the two blood thirsty Jashinists falling in love. However, with Deidara and Kitsune in Kitsune's room, and Tobi and Damu heading towards Zetsu's room, and Hidan and Nenriki doing… whatever Jashinists do in their spare time, no one was in Deidara and Tobi's room to notice that despite all of the windows being closed, a small breeze gently brushed over the deceased puppet's things, making them move ever so slightly.

OoooOOOoooooOOoooh! Cliff-hanger! I'm so evil! Stay tuned to find out what happens next.

Please R&R! Remember, this is my first fanfic, and your comments and opinions motivate me to keep going.