Author's Note: Yay, I got reviews! And they have been taken into consideration in the writing of this chapter. Also, I've decided to make the story longer than originally planned. This will be the last dream journal entry, but after this I'll have more plot, actual Brittana interaction and talking, maybe some fluff. No promises, but we shall see. Also, I really want to work on writing longer chapters. Hopefully it all works out. Anyways, now for chapter 4:

Journal, honestly, what is wrong with me?

Falling in love with my best friend, fearing the school's ridicule, crying, dating an idiot I don't even like (than again, I did date Puck a year ago…) going through so much in the past few weeks and having nothing to show for it. There is definitely a problem here. But, after my dream last night, I'm starting to wonder if what I thought was the problem really was.

This was another seemingly simply, very pointless dream. It started off with me in a field. Ew. I guess it was a nice field, cool grass, a nice breeze, good scenery, and an all around safe feeling. Somewhere most people should be happy to stay. But as I wandered around, I caught a glimpse of something else. A city in the distance; bright lights, dancing, music so loud I could hear it even from far away. This was somewhere I wanted to be.

Everyone in this city was happy. Like a freakin' fairytale, the towns people giddy and joyous, everyone happy except for me, watching from afar. And speaking of fairytales, a slight clarification: I, like I'm sure you are too at this moment, half expected Brittany to appear in the form of a princess or Artie to pop up in the form of a troll, but that didn't happen. It was more realistic than that. Like a perfect life, but one that could actually be obtained unlike most fantasies.

So, like any sensible person would upon seeing this marvelous sight, I ran towards it. Or at least tried to.

I was just at the end of the field, though still a fair distance from the city, when I was stopped by a gate. There was nobody there, which was good because I probably would have killed them to get in but still, this gate effectively stopped me.

Then a sign appeared out of nowhere. These dreams of mine are really weird. Just saying.

The sign simply said "Stop. This is your home, stay here." Strangest sign I ever imagined up, but still.

So, normally, I wouldn't take no for an answer. I mean, this field was great and all, but after seeing the city with the aroma of sweet ginger, faces of people clearly in a tight community, and hearing my favorite song blaring from loud speakers, there was no way I would stay there.

But surprisingly, I did. I don't know why. But since dreams are supposed to relate to my life… it's pretty obvious that going into the city would be the equivalent to publicly confessing my love for Brittany. I mean, life with Britt, it would just be amazing. Before the whole "I love you" thing it was amazing. Even before we became "friends with benefits," time spent with her was like a dream come true. We really knew each other. She was the only person who always saw the kind, softer side of me (and who I ever let see it), and I was the only one who always saw the wise and intelligent side of her. Even more than knowing that about each other, we complimented each other perfectly knowing these hidden characteristics, keeping our levels of sweetness and spice balanced at all times. Even better, the relationship was so unique, and it was a rare thing that really only worked with us, it's nothing like, say, Quinn's friendship with the dwarf. Way more real.

But, though the city was perfect in how it related to life with Britt, there was something keeping me from saying "screw that" to the sign. The people were incredibly happy and seemed to have a great, very established community, but that was the thing. I wasn't part of that. I was an outsider, and it honestly didn't seem like they wanted someone new and different to join them and change things.

Now believe me, I'm most definitely not one to follow established rules or be afraid to stand out (just look at me, I have no problem standing out), but there was something different about this one situation. The difference between field and city was too much, and I just could not get myself to try to bypass the gate.

I just couldn't.

So then, a pile of bricks and some cement appeared. Again, my dreams are freaking weird, but I've pretty much stopped questioning them.

Well, I knew I was destined to stay in this field, so I did what seemed logical: I started building. Which is, again, gross, but whatever.

This was only one dream, so it could obviously only last so long, but it seemed like I had been building for years. I was too afraid knowing I would have to fight to leave, so I stayed. I took the easy way out, building a wall around me, working so hard and putting so much effort into keeping everyone around me away from what I was feeling, hiding myself for so long.

And I'm not talking about the dream anymore.

Now, thinking of Brittany, I just yearn to be with her, so bad that it hurts. But the people at school aren't welcoming. The people of this town aren't welcoming. To step past the boundaries, to come out of what I've gotten so used to being in, it won't be easy.

But, even knowing this, I can't help but think it'll be worth it. People can change their opinions, become accepting, and I know that eventually, the reward with make up for everything else.

I hate all this emotional crap, but seriously, keeping this journal may have been the best decision I ever made.

I want to be with Brittany. I know that now. And yeah, people will talk, and try to make me miserable for a while, but, I'm starting to think that'll be okay in the long run. I need to make things right with Brittany, and I feel like recording these dreams has helped me realize that it's up to me to make it happen. Physically, I've been ready for this since the day I was born (I have no problem knock the teeth out of people who defy or insult me), but emotionally….well, I think I might almost be there.

But you know sometimes when you want something so bad, you throw caution to the wind and you just. Get it.

Author's Note Again: I think this chapter has turned out the best out of all of them, and I'm pleased with it. And I hope you liked the emotion in it, I really tried to channel my inner Santana.

Anyways, next chapter will be up in a few days. I haven't decided exactly what will happen, but you'll be able to read it soon enough :)