A TWIST OF FATE
Well, here we go with this story again! This ranks among my all-time favorite scenes in Alice in Wonderland. Happy reading, and cupcakes for those who bother to review when they're done with this!
Characters (with the exception of Terence) © Disney (and their original creators)
Tumnus and Narnia © C.S. Lewis and Disney/Walden Media
Terence and Story © unicorn-skydancer08
All rights reserved.
Chapter 4: The Twins and the Tale
"Mr. Rabbit!" Alice called. "Oh, Mr. Rabbit!"
"Wait up, mate!" Terence shouted, while Tumnus was too busy trying to keep up with his companions and maintain his breath to say anything.
But, as always, the White Rabbit didn't seem to hear. And if he did, he made no sign of it. He led Terence, Alice, and Tumnus away from the yellow shoreline, into a thick copse of strange trees with blue-green leaves and purple-hued trunks. Soon, the sounds of the caucus race at the beach faded into complete silence.
Tumnus went on pursuing Terence and Alice, and Terence and Alice went on pursuing the White Rabbit, until he soon disappeared completely from their sight. When they entered a wide clearing in the wood, the Rabbit was nowhere to be seen. And there were no signs, no indications whatsoever of where the little fellow could have gone.
"Drat, I can't believe we lost him again!" Terence groused, slowing to a stop and placing his hands upon his lean hips.
"But I am sure he came this way!" said Alice. The girl looked around doggedly, from here to there. "Do you suppose he could be hiding, Terence?"
Tumnus, who was just about ready to drop, and whose nerves were stretched to the breaking point, strode up to Terence's other side and demanded, "Look, you two—why don't we just forget the whole thing? It's obvious we'll never catch that rabbit. And we're only leading ourselves into further trouble by going after him. I say we quit now, before anything else happens."
Paying the faun no mind, Terence said to Alice, "Let's separate, and look around. He can't have gone far."
Unbeknownst to the three, two pairs of eyes were watching them closely, from the shelter of the shadows and the dense foliage.
Terence and Alice promptly broke up and set off in opposite directions, leaving Tumnus to himself. "Terence!" said Tumnus. "Alice—what do you think you're doing? Get back here!" When his words proved to have fallen upon deaf ears, the thoroughly frustrated faun slapped a hand to his forehead, and he grumbled to himself, "Oh, why do I even bother?"
Alice took a peek behind one of the bushes, and announced, "Not here."
"Not here," Terence echoed a second later, after exploring one of the trees from every side.
Tumnus merely stood where he was, his hand now fully over his face, and jadedly shook his head. Had the faun bothered to look up, and had Terence and Alice bothered to turn around, they would have seen two strange, entirely identical figures emerging from the trees, and simultaneously following them about the clearing.
While Terence continued to probe the trees, Alice crouched down in front of a hollow log, just big enough for a small girl like herself to crawl through, and murmured, "I wonder…"
Tentatively, she slipped into the log on her hands and knees, and momentarily disappeared from sight. The twin figures who'd been secretly dogging her and Terence saw what she was doing; and, still keeping totally silent, they concurrently leaped atop that very log and danced their way across to the other end, so that when Alice came back out again, she came out between their legs. Alice slowly climbed back to her feet and brushed off her knees, and said with a sigh, "No, I suppose he must have—"
Then, turning around, the girl gasped and jumped a mile at the sight of the two strangers standing there, who made no movement whatsoever—but remained as still as a pair of statues.
When Terence heard Alice gasp, he immediately whirled around, and Tumnus finally looked up from his hand, his eyes wide and his ears pricked up. "Alice," Terence began anxiously, "are you all—"
But then the youth's words died instantly on his lips, upon sight of the two doppelgangers.
Everyone froze, and waited a full minute or so.
When nothing happened, Terence very cautiously moved in closer, as did Tumnus. The two young men gathered on either side of Alice, and Alice marveled, "Why—what peculiar little figures!"
"Well, now, this is quite a sight," Terence mused.
Tumnus stared disbelievingly at the mute figures, whose similarities were immaculate. It was as though a giant mirror were reflecting one, or the other. They maintained the same height and the same width; they had the same button noses, the same impeccable clothing—even the shoes on their feet and the tiny caps they wore on their heads matched. In fact, the only way Tumnus could truly tell them apart was by looking closely at the names sewn onto their stiff white collars. "'Tweedle Dee'," the faun read on one collar, "and 'Tweedle Dum'."
"If you think we're waxworks, you ought to pay, y'know!" the one labeled "Dum" spoke just then, giving Tumnus quite a start.
"Contrariwise," piped up his twin, "if you think we're alive, you ought to speak to us!"
Had Tumnus's eyes been any larger, they would have popped right out of his head, and Terence and Alice were at once surprised and delighted to find that these quirky people could indeed talk, after all. The odd pair therefore spent the next minute performing a little impromptu dance for their company, on the spot, honking and hooting repeatedly like a set of horns, before standing still again and announcing together, "That's logic!"
"Is that so?" said Terence.
"Well, it's been nice meeting you," said Alice very cordially. "Goodbye!"
She turned to leave, as did Tumnus, but the twins promptly cut in front of them.
"You're beginning backwards!" Dee informed them.
"Aye," squeaked Dum. "The first thing in a visit is to say—"
And they took turns seizing Terence, Tumnus, and Alice by their hands and dancing about with them in circles, singing:
"How do you do,
And shake hands,
Shake hands, shake hands,
How do you do,
And shake hands,
And state your name and business!"
When the dancing and the singing ceased, and Alice toppled to the ground due to her own dizziness, the twins proclaimed unanimously, "That's manners!"
"You got a point there, mates," Terence conceded, pulling thoughtfully on his long white beard. "Well, then, allow us to do so, here and now. My name is Terence, and this is Tumnus."
"Pardon me," Tumnus cut his mate off brusquely, "but I'm more than capable of introducing myself, thanks."
"And my name is Alice," said Alice, picking herself up off the ground and shaking her skirt to straighten it.
"As to our business," Terence said, "we're currently in pursuit of a white rabbit, so we'll just—"
But the twins impetuously blocked the white-haired man as he was turning away, just as they had done before.
"You can't go yet!" Dee informed him.
"No, the visit has just started!" said Dum, and he moved concomitantly with his lookalike ahead of Terence when the white-haired youth attempted to move around them.
"I'm very sorry," said Terence, "but we—"
Without even giving him a chance to complete his sentence, the twins bolted off into the wood.
"Do you like to play hide-and-seek?" Dum asked, as what appeared to be a whole bunch of Dums and Dees peeked out from behind the trees.
Tumnus just shook his head, and muttered under his breath, "Persistent bunch." He turned away again, only to discover the twins impeding him once more. Tumnus wondered to himself how in the world these two could manage to move so quickly. It was like they were here one second, and there the next.
"Or, 'Button, Button, Who's Got the Button'?" queried Dee.
"No, thank you," said Alice, trying to be as civil as she could.
"If you stay long enough, we might have a battle!" the twins went on, and they took turns bopping one another on the head with their fists.
Rather than hurting each other, they just went on making a bunch of the same horn-like sounds.
"That's very thoughtful of you," said Terence, now forcing his way through the twosome. "But, really, my friends and I should get going."
"Why?" the twins asked together, springing in front of him yet again.
"We already told you," said Tumnus, who was starting to lose patience. "We're following a white rabbit." The faun paused briefly, before adding on, "Well, at any rate, these two are."
"Why?" inquired the twins.
"Well," said Terence, after a moment's hesitation, "because we're curious to know where he's going."
This time, the twins didn't bother to go after Terence and Alice and Tumnus as they set off once more.
"Ohhhh…they're curious!" Dum said to Dee, in a hushed voice.
The twins simultaneously shook their heads and tsk-tsked, and Dee leaned toward his double and said, in a not-so-hushed voice, "The oysters were curious too, weren't they?"
"Aye," agreed Dum, "and you remember what happened to them."
Hearing this, Terence paused and glanced back at them, as did Alice, and even Tumnus.
The twins removed their caps, revealing matching bald crowns, and said together in tearful tones, "Poor things!"
While they sniffled and wrapped their arms around one another's shoulders, Terence tentatively headed back to them, with Alice and Tumnus behind him.
"If I may," Terence said slowly, "what's this about oysters?"
"And, uh, what exactly did happen to them?" Tumnus inquired.
"Oh, you wouldn't be interested," said Dum and Dee, now speaking nonchalantly, and walking away together, side by side.
"But we are interested," Alice protested.
"Oh, no, you're in much too much of a hurry!"
"Well," said Tumnus slowly, hoping to distract Terence and Alice from their pursuit of the White Rabbit, "perhaps we could spare at least a little bit of time…"
"You could?!" the twins cried, perking up immediately. "Well!"
And before Tumnus could do anything else, before Terence or Alice had a chance to react in any way, the twins ushered them to a nearby log and forced them all to sit down, with Alice in the middle. Terence found himself on the girl's right, while Tumnus was stationed on her left.
Both the twins stood directly before them, as though performing on stage in front of a live audience, and Dee announced in a loud, clear voice, "'The Walrus and the Carpenter'!"
"Or," Dum chimed in, "'The Story of the Curious Oysters'!"
Thus, they began.
Terence, Alice, and Tumnus watched as Dum and Dee danced and honked from left to right, and right to left, then remained in place and hopped directly up and down like a pair of frogs, one after the other. It all appeared remarkably well-rehearsed. And as Terence, Alice, and Tumnus sat there and looked on, the twins broke out into song:
"The sun was shining on the sea,
Shining with all his might,
He did his very best
To make the billows smooth and bright.
And this was odd,
Because it was the middle of the night!"
"What? How could it possibly be the middle of the day, and the middle of the night, at the same time?" Tumnus wondered bewilderedly. "I mean, that's entirely impossible!"
Terence's only response to this was to lift a finger to his lips, and hiss at the faun, "Shhh!"
Undeterred, the twins continued with their nonsensical doggerel:
"The walrus and the carpenter
Were walking close at hand.
The beach was white from side to side,
But much too full of sand!
"'Mr. Walrus,' said the carpenter,
'My brain begins to perk.
We'll sweep this clear
In half a year,
If you don't mind the work.'
"'Work?! The time has come,' the walrus said,
'To talk of other things.
Of shoes and ships and sealing wax,
And cabbages and kings.
"'And why the sea is boiling hot,
And whether pigs have wings
Callooh, callay
No work today!
We're cabbages and kings!'"
None of this made the least bit of sense to Tumnus, but Terence and Alice appeared to enjoy it thoroughly. Alice actually leaned in closer to the twins, while Terence casually sat back and crossed one leg over the other. Tumnus took one look at them and the twins, before closing his eyes and dropping his face into his hands.
Now Dum and Dee sang about how the walrus in the story stepped into the sea, and spoke enticingly to a whole cluster of young oysters napping upon the ocean floor:
"'Oh, oysters, come and walk with us,
The day is warm and bright.
A pleasant walk,
A pleasant talk
Would be a sheer delight!'
('Yes, and should we get hungry on the way,
We'll stop and have a bite!')
"But Mother Oyster winked her eye,
And shook her heavy head.
She knew, too well, this was no time
To leave her oyster bed.
'The sea is nice,
Take my advice,
And stay right here,' Mum said."
Yet the walrus, who wasn't the type to take no for an answer, simply disregarded the mother oyster, and went on enthralling her little ones, who were beginning to develop a great interest in him:
"'The time has come, my little friends,
To talk of other things.
Of shoes, and ships, and sealing wax,
Cabbages and kings,
"'And why the sea is boiling hot,
And whether pigs have wings
Callooh, callay
Come run away
With the cabbages and kings!'"
And so, the walrus succeeded in luring the young oysters out of the safety of the sea, onto dry land.
Little did those poor, foolish oysters realize just what sort of trouble they were getting themselves into:
"'Well, now, let me see,
Ah, a loaf of bread is what we chiefly need!'
('How about some pepper and salt and vinegar, eh?')
'Oh, yes, yes, splendid idea! Very good, indeed!
Now, if you're ready, oysters dear,
We can begin the feed!'
('Feed?!?!?')
"'Oh, yes, well—
The time has come, my little friends,
To talk of food and things!'
"'Of peppercorn, some mustard seed,
And other seasonings,
We'll mix them all together
In a sauce that's fit for kings!
"'Callooh, callay,
We'll eat today
Like cabbages and kings!'
"'I, er, I weep for you, I—
(Oh, excuse me)
I deeply sympathize.
For I've enjoyed your company,
Oh, much more than you realize.'
"'Little oysters? Little oysters?'
But answer, there came none.
And this was scarcely odd,
Because they'd been eaten—every one!"
The twins then rounded the whole tale off with a final: "We're cabbages and kings!" And together, they stood parallel of each other, and honked, "The end!"
"That was a very sad story," said Alice wistfully.
"Very tragic, indeed," Terence agreed softly, shaking his head very sorrowfully. "The poor little things."
"Aye," said Dum gravely. "And there's a moral to this story, y'know."
"Oh, yes," Tumnus concurred, "and a very good moral at that. Especially if you so happen to be an oyster."
Rising to his hooves and jauntily flinging one loose end of his scarlet scarf over his shoulder, the faun continued, "Well, it has been a lovely visit, so we'll be on our way—"
"Another recitation!" said the twins, pushing him back down onto his seat.
"Another one?" Tumnus cried in dismay.
"Look, we're very sorry," said Terence, "but…"
"It's titled 'Father William'!" announced Dum.
Alice broke in, "But, really, we…"
"First verse!"
Once more, the twins launched into their theatrical mode:
"'You are old, Father William,' the young man said,
'And your hair has become very white.
And yet you incessantly stand on your head,
Do you think at your age it is right, is right,
Do you think at your age it is right?'"
"Come on, let's get out of here," Tumnus whispered to the others. The faun didn't think he could stand to listen to Dum and Dee for one more minute.
"Right behind you, mate!" Terence whispered back.
While Dum and Dee were caught up in their little act, Tumnus very quietly and discreetly shifted his position, and eased off the log from the other side. Terence and Alice did likewise.
The twins' lively mantra followed after them as they slipped away together, into the thick of the forest:
"'Well, in me youth,' Father William replied to his son,
'I'd do it again and again and again
And I'd done it again and again and again…'"