Please remember to leave a review. I accept the good, the bad and the ugly! They are most helpful in encouraging me to write more and "Elf" even caught a MAJOR mistake for me. (Thanks, Elf!) DocSara1 also left me a lot of input that was most helpful. (Thanks Doc!) Thanks everyone for reading. I hope you enjoy it. -Hotflash
When Times Are ToughChapter Four
When the sun rose the next morning, Johnny was already awake, trying to enjoy the "camp coffee" he had made. He was watching the sunrise from the comfort of a sleeping bag under the open sky in the mountains. He had already seen a doe with her fawn grazing on the nearby hillside. It was here that Johnny liked to go to clear his head. As he swallowed a sip of the hot, bitter coffee he felt a few of the grounds go down with it. Good old camp coffee.
The solitude of the mountains was a comfort to John. He was used to the ways of nature. John had grown up on the reservation, but his grandfather had taught him much about the land around him… how to respect and cherish it. It was like he was one with the Earth. Although he too had a difficult time dealing with the loss of the young girl, Johnny could almost feel at peace here. The pinks and yellows of the sunrise washed over the trees and shrubs and everything around in a calming sea of warm, muted color. The birds had been chirping and singing for some time now and small animals were darting about here and there, already productive and busy gathering food for themselves.
"Rule number one: Never get hung up on a patient." Johnny could hear the words as clearly as if Roy had been standing next to him saying them out loud. "I know it's hard, but try not to let it get to you." The words of Captain Stanley were almost as vivid.
Johnny replayed the scene in his mind. No matter how hard he tried, he could not think of one thing he or Roy or anyone else responding could have done any differently that would have changed the final outcome. They had responded to the very best of their abilities and given all they had. They hadn't hesitated. They hadn't made any mistakes. They had done everything they were trained to do.
I wonder if the kids' parents know yet. Johnny didn't have any children of his own, but he tried to imagine how the parents would feel. What would they do to get through it? "What if it was my little girl?" The bond between Johnny and Roy was so strong it was as though he could feel his best friend's thoughts… and his pain.
"Man, I gotta get off this mountain and make sure Roy is okay," Johnny said aloud to no one. Roy's little Katie was about the same age. She was about the same size and build, and even looked a lot like her. Long, honey blonde hair just past her shoulders… sparkling green eyes. Maybe the other little girl's eyes were blue. It didn't matter. Johnny knew that Roy was surely playing the scene over in his head too, but instead of that little girl's face, his partner would be seeing Katie.
Abruptly, Johnny stood up and threw the remaining contents of his cup into the small campfire. He walked over to his Rover and took out a large plastic water jug and a small shovel. He brought them back over to the fire, setting the water jug onto the ground. Using the shovel he broke up the flames and scattered the fire's fuel. He scooped dirt and poured it over the coals and burning sticks. Several times he repeated this and intermittently sprinkled water over the whole thing until he was sure it was completely out. When he was through he rinsed the shovel off before putting it and the water away.
As soon as his sleeping bag and a few other items he had brought were packed into the Rover, Johnny got in and drove back down the mountain. The ride was a bit jolting due to the fact that he was driving on very primitive roads…if you could even call them roads. They were more like abandoned logging grades from decades past. By the time John came to the real road, he was ready for a smoother ride. In a little over two hours he would be back in the more urban Los Angeles County. He was eager to check on his friend.
About an hour out, Johnny stopped for gas and "a few nibbles" to take the edge off. It hadn't dawned on him until now, but he hadn't really eaten anything substantial since the few bites of supper he'd had at the firehouse. He'd eaten a couple of apples, but not much else. That was over 36 hours ago!
He stopped into a small grocery store nearby and bought some bread, a small jar of peanut butter, some plastic utensils and a quart of chocolate milk. On his way back to his car, he stopped at the pay phone. Holding the grocery sack in one hand, he rummaged through his pocket to find a dime for the phone. He dropped the dime in the slot and dialed the operator.
"Operator," said a nasally female voice. "How may I help you?"
"Ah, hi. I'd like to make a long distance call please."
"What's the number please?" Johnny gave her the number and waited for her to connect him. She instructed him to put more money in the slot of the phone and he waited for the "ring" on the other end of the line. On the third ring, JoAnn answered.
"DeSoto residence," she said.
"Hiya, JoAnn?" Johnny said.
"Johnny?"
"Yeah, Hi. Hey listen. Roy and I… We had a really rough shift the other day and I was just wondering… How is he doing?"
"Oh Johnny… I know he's hurting, but… He just hasn't been ready to talk about it yet. What on Earth happened? He's thinking about putting in for that promotion again. He wants to leave the paramedics." Before JoAnn even had time to think about how her words would affect Johnny she had already blurted them out.
There was an awkward silence on the other end of the line. Before Johnny had regained his composure enough to respond the nasally female voice came on the line instructing him to put more money into the coin slot or the call would be terminated. He reached into his pocket but realized he didn't have any more dimes.
"JoAnn," he said quickly. "I'm out of town, but I'm on my way. Don't tell Roy I'm coming. We'll talk…" The line went dead.
Johnny walked back to his Rover and fixed himself a couple of sandwiches for the road. He needed to get back. Leave the paramedics! What is he thinking? He's too good at what he does for that. Besides, they were partners. He can't do it. "Don't do anything stupid, Roy," he said out loud.
During the long drive Johnny tried to think of how he would approach Roy. If Roy didn't know he was coming then he also wouldn't know that Johnny knew what he was planning to do. If he could get Roy to talk about it he might start to realize himself the implications of what he was thinking about doing. Johnny realized this was a decision only Roy could make but he didn't want his friend making a big mistake.
The turmoil in his mind had him feeling quite tired when he finally pulled up to the home of the only family he had left. Roy and JoAnn and the kids were a great family and he was honored that they had allowed him to be a part of it. Chris and Katie were playing in the yard and squealed with glee when they realized their Uncle Johnny had come to visit. "Uncle Johnny's here, Uncle Johnny's here!" Katie shouted as she ran toward him. When she reached her beloved uncle she wrapped her arms tightly around his legs and held him in a 5-year-old's bear hug. Chris wrapped his arms around his uncle at the same time.
"Hi Uncle Johnny!" Chris exclaimed.
"Hey, how are my favorite niece and nephew today? Are you staying out of trouble?" The two kids giggled in response. "I sure hope so!"
Just then JoAnn stepped down off the porch to greet him. She hugged him warmly and said, "Johnny, thanks for coming." She squatted down to her children. "Go tell Daddy we have a visitor, please," she said to them. Katie and Chris ran off to find him.
"Come in, come in John," urged JoAnn, taking him by the arm. She led him into the living room and pointed to an easy chair. "Sit down. Can I get you some iced tea?"
Johnny sat as he was told. "Sure, yes please." He answered. "That sounds great."
JoAnn was only gone a minute and came back with three glasses of iced tea on a small tray. She set it on the dark wooden coffee table and then handed a glass to her husband's best friend.
"So Johnny," she started. "Please, tell me what happened the other day."
"It was bad, Jo." Johnny started. He looked around to make sure Roy and the kids were not near. If Roy hadn't told his wife about it yet, he didn't want him to over hear his best friend telling her. He also didn't want the kids to hear the terrible story. JoAnn's eyebrows raised and her eyes widened as she prepared to hear what was tearing her husband apart inside. Johnny told her as quickly and gently as he could and with as few details as possible. He didn't want to upset her too much and he wanted to finish before Roy came in to join them. When he had finished telling her, JoAnn's eyes were closed and her head was hanging down. She was trying to squeeze her eyes closed and keep the tears from rolling out and down her cheeks. She didn't want to cry in front of her husband. He needed her to be strong for him right now.
Roy walked in with the kids in tow and she forced a small smile. "Honey, look who's here." She tried to sound chipper. Roy wasn't fooled. He knew why Johnny was there and he realized that JoAnn must have had some idea of what was going on. He was grateful for her efforts not to show it though.
"Johnny?" he said extending his hand. They shook hands very briefly and Roy sat down. JoAnn reached over to pick up a glass of iced tea and handed it to him. "Oh, thank you Annie," he said and took a small sip. The cold liquid felt good going down.
JoAnn stood up and stepped closer to Roy, bent down and kissed him on the cheek. "I'll leave you two to talk a bit," she said. She held out her hands to her children and said, "Come on. Time to get some chores done."
The two kids took their mother's hands, but they were not particularly excited to go with her. "Can't we do our chores later?" asked Chris.
"Nope. I'll tell you what though," she bargained. "The first one done with all their chores, IF they do a good job, can pick out what's for dessert tonight. How does that sound?"
"I want brownies!" Katie announced.
"No, homemade ice cream!" said Chris.
"Ah, ah, we'll see," their mother said. "You can start by cleaning your rooms. Chop, chop." The siblings raced off toward their rooms and JoAnn headed for the washer and dryer to put them to good use. "Lord, please… help Johnny talk some sense into him. Give Roy the encouragement he needs."
Somehow, JoAnn managed to keep the kids occupied and away from their father and uncle for a little over an hour. They were getting very antsy now wanting to spend time with Uncle Johnny.
Johnny had tried to get Roy to see things clearly. He reminded Roy about Rule Number One. He told him how much it meant to him having Roy for a best friend and partner. He tried to work some of Roy's success stories into the conversation. He wasn't sure that any of it was helping, but he had to try. When the two kiddos came bounding in, it was a welcome break.
"Hey, who wants a horsey-back ride?" he asked. Both kiddos began shouting, "I do, I do," and waving their hands in the air in a "pick me" fashion.
"Go easy on your uncle," instructed Roy. "One at a time."
Winking at Chris Johnny reached out to Katie and said, "Ladies first!"
Seeing the children happily engaged with the two favorite men in her life, JoAnn retreated the kitchen to prepare supper. She decided that tonight they would have brownies and homemade ice cream and set about preparing those as well.
Not surprisingly, the rest of the evening went well. Finally it was time to get the kids tucked in and Johnny was giving them hugs and kisses goodnight and goodbye. The kids were stalling, trying to stay up every last minute possible when JoAnn practically peeled them off of their uncle and led them off to bed. "You can have your baths in the morning," she said as she led them to their rooms. "Just this once, now off to bed. Daddy will be there in a couple of minutes to kiss you goodnight and tuck you in." She kissed her children goodnight and stepped out to say goodnight to Johnny before he left.
When the house had quieted down and Roy and JoAnn were in bed he held her close and said, "Thanks for everything today, Annie. I know it's been rough on you."
JoAnn gave him a squeeze and said, "I love you, Honey. What ever you decide, it will be okay."
He smiled at her in appreciation and not long after, both were peacefully asleep.