Battlestar Galactica - From the Beginning

Disclaimer: The world of BSG and most of the characters are not my creation. I have simply taken them out to play in my own version of their world! This is entirely for my own enjoyment and I receive no financial benefit from this.

Chapter Four

Discoveries

DAY TWELVE

Athena had a full six hours before her watch alarm woke her from a dreamless sleep. That gave her an hour to rush through a shower in the officers head and toss down some not quite appetizing food before climbing into her Viper for her CAP. Then it was ten hours in the air, patrolling the perimeter of the fleet, mostly alone with her thoughts. Three days had passed since the last Cylon attack, and she was beginning to grow accustomed to the new routine. She was glad to have any routine that did not include Cylon attacks every thirty-three minutes!

"Hey AJ," Starbucks voice came over the short-wave radio. "Switch to channel 427. I need a little chatter to keep me alert."

"No problem," she agreed, switching her ship-to-ship radio to the frequency Starbuck had given her. "Whats up Starbuck? I haven't known you that long, but mindless chatter doesn't seem like your style." Shed had a few quiet talks with Kara Thrace since theyd met her first day on Galactica, but there had been no real time to get to know the other woman.

"Well, mindless chatter wasn't what I had in mind. I wanted a little privacy to ask you what your intentions are toward our illustrious Captain Apollo?"

"What?" Athena gasped, startled not only by Starbucks topic, but also by her lack of subtlety in bringing it up in the first place. "I, uh. . . I'm not sure what you're asking." This was NOT the kind of conversation she wanted to have with anyone, much less Lee's oldest friend, Starbuck! She wasn't ready to face the growing feelings she might be discovering for Lee Adama, and certainly didn't want to talk about it to a virtual stranger.

"The reason I ask is that I caught Lee standing in front of your rack a few mornings ago looking at you like you were the last piece of chocolate to be found in the entire universe. Add to that a hard-on that would make any man proud and you should be able to understand my concern. He has a lot on his plate right now."

"Gods, Starbuck! I don't know what to say. I was asleep and didn't even know he was there," Athena stammered, her heart racing as she tried to gather her thoughts and figure out what, if anything, to tell Starbuck. Rumor had it that she and Lee had been friends since the academy, and that there were times when people had thought he wanted more than just friendship from her. She would take the time later to think about Starbucks revelation, but now she had to deal with the inquisitive pilot.

"Don't play innocent with me, AJ. I can help you, or I can make things frakking difficult for you."

Athena took a deep breath. She most certainly didn't want Starbuck as an enemy, but she was unused to talking about important or intimate things with her peers. Especially with someoneshe'd only known for just under a week! Besides, she hadn't even worked out her own feelings yet. She didn't know what she felt or even what she wanted from Lee, if anything. "I. . . we've talked a few times. I. . . I will admit that I was attracted to him when we crossed paths on Colonial One, even before I knew who he was. I really don't know what to tell you, Starbuck. I'm not even sure what I feel, much less what he does," she confided hesitantly. Gods, she prayed, please don't let this conversation come back to haunt her later. "Are you and Lee. . . "

"Gods, no!" Starbuck laughed loudly. "Lee and I roomed together in the Academy and then again in Flight School. Hes like a brother. A really annoying brother, at that. Besides, I was engaged to marry his brother, Zak, before he died."

"I see," Athena responded, feeling quite a bit of relief at Starbucks information. She hadn't known many of the details, but she had known there was a lot of history between the two of them.

"I've seen Lee watching you several times when he knew you couldn't see him, and my curiosity was piqued because of his interest. Don't get me wrong, Lee likes women as much as the next man, but I have never seen him keep an eye on anyone, much less another pilot, the way he does you. When I caught him watching you the other morning, I must admit I was a bit worried. Things are tough for Lee right now," Starbuck added in a concerned tone.

"Tough how?" Athena asked with concern of her own. She wasn't sure she wanted to pursue a relationship with the man, but if there was something in particular going wrong inLee's life, she wanted to know about it. She could not deny she cared about him, even though she wasn't ready to admit to it out loud. If nothing else, she could be a friend when he needed one.

"He and his old man have been estranged since Zaks death. Actually, they've been at odds since I first met Lee. I know for fact that the last place he wanted to end up was on Galactica with the old man. Then there is the obvious in losing his mother to the Cylons on Caprica, but I think the Olympic Carrier ordeal has been the worst."

"That was bad, but necessary the way I see it," Athena replied, quickly mulling over the thingsshe'd just heard. The family dynamics of the Adama family were new to her, but she was fully aware ofLee's turmoil over destroying the civilian ship. "I have a feeling we'd all be history if the Olympic Carrier had gotten her nukes much close to the Galactica. I have no doubt we're all still alive because you and Lee followed very difficult orders."

"Tell me one more thing and Ill shut up. Why don't you ever call him Apollo. Everyone calls him Captain Adama or Apollo."

Athena smiled to herself, having been asked this same question by the man himself. "When we first met he was in a hurry and introduced himself to me as Lee. Just Lee. Now I guess thats how I think of him. I call him Captain or Captain Adama when we're around other people, but in my mind hes still just Lee."

"Okay, I feel better now. The last thing our illustrious Captain needs is to have more burdens and pressure heaped on his already full plate. All I ask is that whatever you decide to do, be discreet. I'll keep quiet and try to squash any rumors that might start."

"Thanks, Starbuck. But honestly, there is nothing between Lee and I beyond the start of a friendship. I can't say what he thinks or feels, but I certainly don't know him well enough to be moving in any other direction."

"Sure, AJ. Whatever you say. Switching back to channel 162."

Athena finished her shift trying to process all the thingsshe'd just learned from Starbuck. It seemed that Lee was a complicated man, with a lot of history that he had yet to deal with. She understood that better than anyone could possibly know. The facts surrounding her illegitimate birth were something she had long ago accepted, but the fact that she was with daughter of the previous president of the Twelve Colonies was one she kept pushing aside to be dealt with later. Much later. The fact that she had to be his secret had always been a confidence killer for her. If he hadn't been ashamed of her, wouldn't he have been more open about their relationship? And now she had to deal with the fact that there would be no later in which to come to terms with her biological father.

So, like Lee, she understood how hard it was to be the child of a powerful and influential man. Lee now had to openly deal with all the things that kept her in fear of having her own parental relationship discovered. Would people like her or hate her simply because of who her father had been? Or would they expect more than she could deliver, or expect her to abuse her position? There were just too many questions. Too many cans of worms that could be opened by disclosing the facts of her birth. That, above all, was why she had agreed to keep their relationship under wraps and spend the last year with her father as his personal pilot. She could be with him and get to know him, but do it in a manner that didn't overly complicate either of their lives. And now, looking back, Athena was so glad she had taken the time out of her life to get to know her father and have him come to know her. Just knowing him had enriched her life, and the sorrow she felt at having that time cut short was almost overwhelming when she stopped to think about it.

Athena was level-headed enough to know that all her past decisions could become very complicated if she were to make the decision to pursue a relationship with a man of Lee's position. Would she be able to keep such vital facts and a significant amount of her feelings from him? And how would he feel about her if he discovered she had been hiding so much about her past life? It was so damn hard to know what to do. Her night with Lee had been completely on impulse, born of an uncertainty whether she would live to see another day. She had given herself to a stranger, only to later discover he was someone she could admire and respect. Someone she had come to realize she could possibly love. She just didn't know if letting herself love him was a good move for her at this particular place and time.

xxxxx

Lee knocked and then entered his fathers quarters without waiting for a response. He couldn't get the Olympic Carrier out of his mind, and he kept going over and over what he had done. . . wondering if it had been the right thing. Had there been souls still on board, or had they already been dead at Cylon hands? Had he been the instrument that saved tens of thousands of lives, or had he been the one who murdered thirteen hundred innocents?

His father looked up from his desk and set down the pen he had been writing with. "What is it, son?"

"I, ah. . . can't stop thinking about the Olympic Carrier," Lee admitted, feeling a surge of pleasure at his fathers form of addressing him. He hadn't felt like the Bill Adamas son in a lot of years, he thought as he scanned a bookshelf with his eyes but not truly seeing what lay upon the shelves.

"That was three days ago. Thats ancient history under these circumstances. Leave the second guessing to the historians," his father advised sagely with a weary shake of his graying head.

"But don't we have a responsibility? I mean as. . . as leaders don't we have an obligation to question our actions, to. . . I dont know. . . To make sure the decisions we make are the right ones?" he asked, finding it hard to get the words out. His mind was so confused by his conflicting thoughts that he hardly knew what he was trying to say.

"We did what we had to do, son. A man takes responsibility for his actions, right or wrong. He accepts the consequences and lives with it. Every day," Adama stated baldly, his particular choice of words telling Lee that his father was also unsure as to whether the decision had been right or wrong. However, his fathers words also told him that you made your decisions for good or ill, learned from them, and then moved on.

It was time for Lee to learn to live with whathe'd done. He couldn't go back and change it, and he wasn't even surehe'd do anything differently if he could relive those particular hours. He knew for a fact that he had not seen a single person on the Olympic Carrier, when in almost all instances, people could usually be found looking out windows. Lee had followed his orders because he had believed they were the right ones. For the sake of his sanity, he needed to keep on thinking it was the right thing and be done with it.

He nodded his thanks to his father and left as quickly as he had entered.

DAY THIRTEEN

President Roslin came over from Colonial One for a demonstration on how the Galactica could share their water supply with the ships that didn't have sufficient storage capacity. Lee observed that she mad a special point to thank the crew in the CIC for all they had done since the Cylon attack, and then listened intently as Commander Adama walked her through the docking procedure. After a few minutes, someone called the Commander away and she turned and smiled openly at Lee.

"He thinks I'm an idiot, doesn't he?" she asked Lee in an amused tone.

"What? Ah. . . no, ma'am. No," Lee stammered, startled by her blunt words. She had caught him off guard with her candid question.

"Its all right."

Lee cleared his throat and then smiled at her, feeling a bit entertained at her uncertainty after having just days ago seen her poise and control under situations of extreme pressure. It was odd to think that a mere ceremony could be her undoing. "Madame President, if I may. I think you should know that my father. . . well, that this entire ceremony was his idea."

"I know," she admitted with a private smile and then glanced over to where his father stood directing a portion of the water transfer. The old man was clad in his dress grays and stood stiffly, as if his uniform scratched him whenever he moved. "I think he's enjoying it."

Lee caught himself before he could snicker out loud in total disbelief. "Well, actually he. . . he hates protocol, pomp and all that."

She looked at him in amazement, her eyebrows lifted to show her skepticism. "Really?"

"He's making a gesture," Lee explained gently. They had been through so much together that he tended to forget she didn't know his father beyond what she head heard repeated of his reputation. "Trying to make you feel like the President."

"Really?" she repeated, looking over at the Commander once more.

"Madam President, if I may. . . " Lee said quietly, deciding the time would get no better for him to ask about AJ. "I understand you know Lt. AJ Darr?"

"AJ. Yes. I know her quite well," she admitted with a questioning look. "She was one of our escorts from Caprica on the day the Cylons attacked."

"Yes, that's what she told me. She also said that you could vouch for her and had some knowledge of her training," Lee stated, watching the Presidents expression. She was looking at him intently, as thought trying to determine what she should say to him. "Will you tell me what you know about her?"

"Of course. I knew her father quite well. From what I understand from him, she excelled at basic training and basic flight, was exceptional and graduated first in her class from combat, was top of her class in Officers Candidate School, and was well on her way to making a name for herself at the War College," she informed him succinctly. "I also can and will vouch for her integrity, honor, and dependability. Please trust me when I say that she comes from good stock on both sides."

"Thats high praise, indeed," Lee replied, wondering what the President knew that she wasn't saying. Apparently, she knew AJ quite well. Probably better than his own father knew him. The tone in the Presidents voice had been proud and affectionate at the same time.

But before President Roslin could respond or add any more details, a set of enormous explosions rocked the battlestar.

xxxxx

The rumble of a large explosion vibrated the ship as Athena finished the final rinse of her hair, causing her to lean against one of the walls to keep on her feet. It had been too long sinceshe'd had the time for more than a mad dash through the shower, and she had been enjoying the moment. Not sure what had happened, but knowing it couldn't be good, she toweled off as quickly as possible and pulled on her tanks and underwear before rushing out to her locker to get dressed. She pulled on a clean uniform she had gotten from the laundry the previous evening and headed for the Squadron Ready Room.

She met up with several of the other pilots in the companionway leading into the Ready Room, and entered to find only confusion and no one with answers. Everyone found a seat and waited for someone to show up and tell them what was happening. Athena knew that if they needed to launch, an alert would be sounded over the speakers, and they were better off waiting for news together. The Ready Room was located only a short distance from the flight deck, so the pilots could move quickly to their Vipers, if need be.

"Well, we sure as hell weren't bombed by the Cylons," Starbuck said loudly, in an attempt to keep the wild ideas from spreading. "We'd all be out in our Vipers right now if we were under attack."

"Was it one of the reactors? An accident?" someone asked from the back of the room.

"How the frak would I know?" Starbuck responded in exasperation. "I was with you in the Rec Room playing cards, you idiot! We just need to wait-CAG on deck!" she shouted, giving the pilots the warning to sit up and shut up.

Lee walked up to the front of the room and stepped up onto the platform, laying a stack of papers on top of the podium. "All right, people. Listen up. There have been several unexplained explosions in the port water storage tanks, and we've vented over half our supply out into space. We will be on strict water rationing, with all showers and laundries shut down for the duration."

"What caused the explosion?" someone asked from the front row.

"As I said, the explosions are as yet unexplained, but the Chief and his crew are checking things out as we speak. Viper patrols will remain as set until we know more," he added, has glance moving all around the room until he had caught the eyes of each pilot. "Boomer, AJ, Ice, and Flattop, you will each be taking out a Raptor to nearby solar systems to search for a water source. The sooner we replace what we lost, the better. Stay after and see me for the coordinates you'll be searching."

"Sir, was it sabotage?" another voice asked. "I've heard that the Cylons are in human form now, and they look just like us."

"I repeat. The Chief and his crew are examining the tanks as we speak. At this time we know nothing more than I have already told you. Any questions pertinent to your duties and schedule?" he asked curtly, his eyes cold and unyielding. "Then you are dismissed!"

Athena remained behind with the other three pilots and approached Lee at a nearby table where he had moved and was laying out a star chart and four sets of maps. He looked up at her and smiled briefly, his eyes losing some of their hardness as he took in her wet hair.

"I was in the shower when the explosion occurred, sir," she explained with a shrug.

"Just curious," he said with another smile. "Sorry to pull you off Vipers, but right now we have a greater need for capable Raptor pilots. There are six solar systems within easy reach of our current position. Four of them are close by and two of you will split those. The other two of you will have farther to go and the solar systems are larger, so you'll only have one system to search. You will each begin a thorough scan of the planets and moons for signs of a water source. Its been five days since the last Cylon attack, but I want all of you to be extra careful out there. If you see Cylons, inform Galactica and then run like hell and hide until help can arrive. Don't take any risks. Right now finding water is a hell of a lot more important than engaging and killing Cylons. Understood?"

"Yes, sir," all four pilots responded as one.

"Here are your maps and coordinates," he said as he handed out papers to each of them. "Dismissed. Wait AJ," he added before she could leave with the others. "I need a moment."

Athena waited, standing before him as his eyes followed the other pilots until they had left the room. "Did you need something, Lee?"

"Yes. There is something I need to know before you go," he stated softly, a slight frown creasing his forehead.

Athena looked at the floor, having no doubt in her mind what he was going to ask her. She had avoided him since the night they had met in the memorial to the lost. He suspected she was the onehe'd been with on Colonial One and he wanted her to confirm or deny it. She lifted her head and looked up at him boldly. He could ask, but she didn't have to admit to anything until she was ready. "Ask."

"Have we. . . met before?" he asked huskily, his eyes piercing into hers. "I need to know." He reached out and took her hand in his, pulling it to his face and inhaling lightly. She was glad that she had decided to economize on her last bottle of scent and had not worn it sinceshe'd arrived on Galactica.

"I'm not sure, sir. We could have crossed paths on Caprica at some time, or at some base," she whispered, sucking in her breath as he continued to hold onto her wrist. She didn't want to lie; truly she didnt, but the time was far from right for this conversation. She wanted a chance to get to know him better on a less physical basis before he discovered exactly who she was. She gently pulled her arm away and stepped back from him, regretting her need to wait.

"I'm sorry, AJ. I was out of line," he apologized, his face growing stiff with embarrassment. "I just had this feeling that wed met before and. . . "

"Its all right, Captain," she replied with a sad smile. "I wish we had met during better times."

He nodded and handed her the charts and system coordinates in dismissal. She gave him one quick look and then fled the room. How she wished she could have told him she was the one! But she truly wasn't sure if he wanted her to be that woman, or if he was afraid she was. And, while he seemed driven to know, she wasn't sure he was prepared to deal with what he ultimately discovered. And above all, she didn't want to open herself up to the potential pain having him think ill of her would cause.

Well, she couldn't think about it any longer. She had a mission to fly.

xxxxx

DAY FOURTEEN

"Thank you for coming, Captain Apollo," the President greeted Lee as he walked into her office. "I am aware that you were in charge of the mission that destroyed the Olympic Carrier. I know what a hard thing that is to live with. For all of us. I'm struggling with it myself, frankly."

Lee sat back in his chair and observed the honest and open expression on her face as she observed him in return. He had received a request from her to see her in her office at his convenience, sohe'd finished what he was doing and flew a Viper over to Colonial One. He hadn't been sure what she wanted or needed with him, but discussing the Olympic Carrier had not been one of the possibilities that had crossed his mind.

"I can't stop thinking about it," he admitted to her honestly, pausing to gather his thoughts before he continued. "But a man has to accept responsibility for his actions. He. . . he doesn't second-guess the choices he makes. He lives with them. Every day." Lee wasn't sure whyhe'd repeated the words his father had spoken to him, except that they had made sense and had made him feel better about his decision. You made you choices and then lived with the consequences. Perhaps those same words could help her as they had him.

"You know, I remember when President Adarr sent the Marines into Arelon. Fifteen people died. In public, of course, he had to say all the usual things," she added with a little shrug. "He. . . he was sure of whathe'd done. Hed made the right choice. Ah. . . stayed the course. But he knew it was a mistake and he kept the names of the dead in his desk drawer. He said that it was imperative for a leader to remember and learn from the mistakes, even if they can't admit to them publicly."

"Do you think we made a mistake?" Lee asked intently, not sure what she was trying to tell him.

"I don't know. I don't have a desk drawer yet, but. . . I have a pocket," she added softly, her hand reaching into her jacket pocket and pulling out a piece of paper. When she unfolded the paper he saw the name Olympic Carrier was handwritten upon it.

Lee smiled at her, his respect for her increasing exponentially. She understood. After the past two weeks of fighting, running, and sacrificing, she absolutely understood the pressures of leadership.

"I don't want to add to your burdens; however," she paused with a smile, "I have a request. I would like you to be my personal military advisor."

"What? But. . . Im sorry," he stumbled over his words as the shock of her request sank into him. He didn't know what to say to her. As the Commander of the fleet, his father should be her advisor. "Um. . . My father is the senior military officer. He should advise you."

"Oh, no! No, no, no," she said, shaking her head and holding out a hand as if to stay his words. "I don't mean to go behind yourfather's back. Nothing like that. I'm not looking for military advice; I'm looking for advice about the military. That little insight about your father making a gesture, it really helped me. It made me reassess the man. I would appreciate more of those insights. And you can keep your day job as the C.A.G," she added, her expression guileless and completely sincere.

He smiled at her words. "Its pronounced CAG."

"Do you see why I need you?"

Lee laughed at bother her naivete and her ability to laugh at herself. "Um¼ So, whos going to tell my father?"

"Well. . . " she hesitated and looked up at him hopefully. "I was thinking that. . . that would be your first assignment."

Lee found himself laughing again, feeling all his tension flow out with the sound. "Somehow I knew you were going to say that."

"Thank you, Captain."

Lee flew back to the Galactica and immediately requested a meeting with his father. He told him, almost word for word, what the President had said, and informed him that he had agreed to advise her. The Commander looked thoughtful and sat silently for several long seconds, and Lee could almost see the wheels turning in hisfather's head.

"This could make things a bit awkward for you, son," Adama said carefully. "Maybe awkward for all of us. Think this through carefully before you make your final decision. This has the potential to place you in the middle between two sides. However, I can see where you would be of great help to her in learning the ropes. What do you think of our new president?"

"I like her very much," Lee admitted, pleased that his father was asking his opinion. Lee had spent more time with President Roslin than anyone had from the Galactica, and he believed that he had come to know her fairly well. "She has a very good head on her shoulders and isn't afraid to make the hard decisions. She stays calm under pressure, and she doesn't hesitate to ask for advice. She'll be a formidable president."

"Yes. Formidable indeed," his father agreed, his tone imparting that he wasn't sure if this was a good or a bad thing in their particular situation.