Chapter 4

Lingering Scent

Asuka had finished her dinner early tonight. Despitebeing told to rest as soon as she had done dining by the dorm leader, she found herself unable to let her mind rest eventhough her body was already laying on her bed. But that was to be expected: tomorrow was the last duel examination upon her graduation. She had wondered who she might be facing.

Getting up from her bed, she sighed in annoyance as she changed into her usual Obelisk sleeveless uniform. She had wasted her time trying to sleep when she knew she would never succumb to the realm of dream anytime soon. She checked a clock sitting on the desk and wondered if she could sneak past through the patrolling dorm leader to get some fresh air outside. It was almost past ten, so she decided to gamble on the chance.

Creaking her door open as soft as she could, she walked hurriedly through the dark hallway, stopping every now and then to make sure that she was not followed or busted yet. After some minutes of jogging, she finally made it to the front gates. All that was left is to climb up the wall and jump outside. She hesitated for a moment, measuring the wall's height which was almost seven feet tall.

But when she was about to search for another means of escape, a whistle caught her attention. She turned round to search for its source and found...

Him.

Shocked, Asuka simply stared at the young Silfer who was standing behind the gates. He was practically hidden by the shadows and bushes nearby, but her eyes couldn't be mistaken: it was clearly Osamu. She saw him almost every day and thus, wouldn't mistake even his shilouette for someone else. Another whistle was heard, and the figure got closer to the gate and gestured her to climb up the wall. "I'll help," was his silent message.

Asuka quickly searched for something to be used as a higher footstool for an easier climb, and found a tree with sturdy branches that were not higher than the wall. She rushed to the tree and climbed it carefully. Osamu appeared on the other side of the wall just when she finally able to get on top of the wall. He held out one hand, and Asuka used it to balance herself when jumping down.

"Why are you here?" she breathed once she was outside of the wall.

Osamu shrugged. "I figured out that you'd be bored."

She gave his arm a playful punch. "Hey, is my mood that clear for you to read?"

"Nah, just some hunches of a bored person, that's all. But first, let's be off to some place where there aren't any dorm securities nearby."

"What about the Cliff?"

"Not a bad idea," he agreed.

They jogged silently westward, choosing a more smaller path in the woods rather than the main road. No one would want to be caught trespassing the dorm's night hour just a day before their graduation.

After they were farther away from the dorm, they slowed down their pace and walked instead. Osamu was taller than Asuka, so she should still attempt to walk a bit faster than she usually did.

"So, what brings you here?" she asked once again.

"Like I said, I noticed that you were strangely quiet over last class, and I thought I'd pay a visit."

She chuckled, telling herself non-audibly that this was Osamu she was dealing with. As far as she knew, he was always like this: popped up in a timing she could never thought of before.

"I'm just a bit... nervous, I guess," she admitted, her eyes darted to the vast landscape before them.

The Cliff was a short walk to where they were, so they shouldn't worry of being caught by some roaming patrols on duty. And even if there were any, they could easily find some rocks tall and wide enought to hide them from their view.

"I'm just amazed that everything I've worked for in three years is finally going to an end. School's life, Sunday tag duels, Professor Satyr's crazy assignments... all of them are going to end tomorrow."

"Surely what awaits you in the future is not going to be less exciting than what's there for you in this little island," commented Osamu.

"Yes, I know. But still, I still can't believe that it has been three years since I first stepped into this academy. So many things have happened."

"Too many," he corrected with a subtle smile devoid of sarcasm.

Asuka studied his face in the dim light for a while before cautiously saying, "It is true that there aremany things I have not whished for that happened in these last three years. Yet, there are still memories and lessons I wish to treasure for all my days. But in the end, I'm glad I enrolled here," she added with a smile.

When the still night was broken by the sound of waves crashing into the rocks, Asuka sped up and stood on the edge of the cliff. She closed her eyes and let the breeze soothe her soul, breathing deeply to fill her lungs with fresh air mingled with the faint taste of salt. "I have always wanted to visit this place at night," she murmured in astonishment.

"You can always do that before dinner," Osamu suggested.

She gave a short laugh. "No. I mean, alone." She glanced back at Osamu, who was eyeing her, and smiled at his raised eyebrows. "You're an exception, I guess," she replied, laughing again.

"Although if you do want to be alone, I wouldn't mind going back now," he said, half seriously.

The Obelisk shook her head in glee, amazed at how her companion still able to crack jokes when they were only one day to the graduation. "No. Do stay, please."

Walking past her, Osamu leapt to a lower level. "Let's get down there."

Asuka nodded and followed suit. If they were just to stand idly on the edge of the highest ground, she knew they'd be easy to spot by passing securities. Leaping carefully, she made it to the lowest level to where Osamu stood.

Tonight was a full moon, so she could see him clearly there. But one thing she hadn't realized before that she was not used to look at him without his red cap on. Seeing his short, chesnut hair sent astray by the wind and shone under the pale moonlight... Well, he almost looked foreign to her now.

"You're anxious," observed Osamu somewhat unneccessarily after a minute of silence.

"I am. Who wouldn't be when knowing what tomorrow'd be?"

"So even the highest in rank of the academy duelists could become anxious before a duel, huh?" he teased.

She snorted. "So what if I could. I just want to enjoy my last day as a student here. And... call me a melancholic if you want, but I find it to be actually quite sad to leave the place I've grown fond to." When Osamu didn't reply, she casted a glance at him, her gaze softening. "And I wouldn't be able to stand here as I am if it weren't for you. For that, I want to thank you."

The Silfer tilted his head to one side, pondering perhaps. "I don't recall having done anything that is worth of your thanks."

"Youre just playing dumb," she shook her head, smiling. Why, she wonder, Osamu's mere presence could brush off her anxiety and fear aside. "Nii-san would not be back if you hadn't pulled him out of the darkness. That applies for Judai as well. And don't try to deny it or blame yourself again, lest you want me to knock some sense into your head," she quickly added.

"Yes, my Lady."

She gave him a look.

"What? You know I'm joking."

"I was being serious there."

Osamu sighed. "Fine. Sorry. I just don't want to distract us with such talk anymore. We know we both need a clear mind to face tomorrow's duel."

"Osamu..." she trailed off, and then sighed heavily. "Don't act as if you don't know me at all. I was trying to make myself feel better by saying it out loud."

"Oh? As far as I know, you're not that ruthless."

She bit a lip, forcing down a rueful smile. Somewhere in her heart, she was glad that he regarded her in a postivie light. But in the end, it was all nothing but a facade she put on as a mask to cover whatever side she didn't want people to see. The Society of Light'd successfully seen through that mask and used it to support their cause. And now, despite her reluctance to be true to her parnter, she managed to say, "I am a more misrable and selfish person than you think."

Osamu kept silent, so she continued, her eyes averting his gaze and traced down the waves moving quietly below them.

"Don't you ever think that all along this time, I was just using your strength to cover my own weaknesses? All my sorrows and dark memories, they had all been placed upon your shoulders. You've saved my brother twice—something I could not manage to do on my own. You've also taken me to a higher level as a duelist by lending your strength to me in battles. And despite all that, you haven't attained any rank and remained in the shadows." She looked up at him and found no hints of emotion on his placid face. "Why are you so calm about things?" she spoke softly, a mere whisper in the wind. "Why won't you stand up to claim what's supposed to be yours? Why do you continue to support me instead?"

Asuka'd always hated herself for not being able to read what was behind his deep eyes. He was not a man of words or gestures, and after all they'd been through, she could not even guess what might the Silfer be thinking. And she hated it. It made her feel as if she was nobody to him. As if her existence didn't matter.

For some seconds they were just staring at each other, then finally, a troubled crease on his face appeared on the surface, eventhough it was a mere movement of his eyebrows deepening. "If my actions and silence had troubled you in any way, I'm sorry."

She was about to say ''Suffer' might be a more fitting word,' but chose to control her bubbling emotions and stood still. She waited.

"It's my fault: we've vowed to be trust each other's back as partners, yet I am still unable to do it outside of duel arena." He paused, as if trying to find the right words. "It's just... I need time." He sighed. "I need time. I need time to settle things with myself. I know it sounds selfish, but my head is in a mess."

She smiled. Anger and pain writhed in her stomach. "You didn't trust me."

"I didn't." He nodded, shutting his eyes shut. "I never did. Not you, not anyone. And perhaps... it was a mistake."

And would he now? She didn't dare to ask. It was out of her character to ask such a thing, more so demanding unneccessary confirmation.

He shot a weak smile when he fixed his gaze back at her from the ground. "I hope you will let me correct my past mistakes tomorrow. Maybe it wouldn't suffice, but it is all I can do to atone for my selfishness."

She was unsure how to react at first, but then offered a nod and turned away from him. "We... we should go back," she said, already trailing the way back to a higher ground. Of course, she was as guilty as he was in the matter, but his confession just now proved that he had been there, beside her, all along without looking at her. He had been supporting her without trusting her. He had been kind to her for... what? She didn't want to think about it.

Osamu jogged to follow after her. "And as for the part of you using me..."

They both stopped, Asuka turned to see him—who was almost on her eye level despite his superior height because of the conture of the ground—and felt like a hammer had just hit her in the head. He smirked.

"What do you say we're, at least, even?" he offered, his tone raising into a mocking one.

She blinked. "What?"

He sinply stared back, eyes wide, taunting.

"I—What's even about that when you're merely standing beside me, acting as if you care, when I—" She interrupted herself, and realized that she'd been shouting.

Osamu's smirk widened into a mischevous grin he rarely showed. He was often quiet and reserved than mocking and teasing. So when he did, Asuka was almost sure he was enjoying himself. "When you...?"

She glared at him, genuinely furious this time. "Is this why you continue to be with me? So you could find amusement in teasing me?"

His eyes glittered. "Maybe. And maybe not."

Before she could react, Osamu grabbed her by the wrist. A stern, calm look was back on his face. "Tomorrow is our last official duel, Asuka. You should worry about it more than anything else."

She opened her mouth to protest but then decided against it and nodded instead. "All right." Then came a bitter laugh. "And you just saw another selfish part of me."

"It's fine to be a little selfish," he replied, shrugging. "I like people better that way since they won't have to fake all the time."

She flashed a smile, her anger forgotten, beginning to understand what Osamu was talking about. Many people around them had gone mad for denying themselves. And more people were lost of their selflessness. But then again, maybe selflessness was not the right word...

"You have to go back," he stated, walking away from the edge towards where they had come from. His hand slipped off from hers when they were above, probably assuming she would not need his help to climb up anymore.

Asuka followed him wordlessly. With others, silences were awkward. But with him, they were comfortable. Soothing, even.

When they were just paces away from the Obelisk Dorm's gateaway, Osamu made a gesture to the wall with a movement of his shoulder. "Need some help to scale it?" He was half joking, she knew. But despite the reality, she kicked herself mentally. She hadn't thought on how she'd be able to get back inside.

Asuka laughed. "No. And even if I do, I would not take it from you." Was he going to lift her up or hold her? Or perhaps becoming a footstool? No. She was not going to let him do it. Just imagining it made her stomach writhe in a way she'd never felt before.

An eyebrow went up without a smirk. He was serious, then. "You're sure?"

She looked for something to be used to help her and found a pile of bricks at a far point near the wall. Relieved, she pointed. "I can use those."

"At least let me help steady you. The wall's high. Even I would not be able to scale it without something to—"

She crossed her arms. "All right, all right. You help, then."

The pile of bricks was quite in a good condition, despite some cracks on some of them. Carefully, they piled it up in an orderly position, making sure that it would not crumble backward when being stepped on. Asuka thought. Well, he was right: it was almost impossible to hoist herself onto the wall all by herself. She threw a glance at Osamu.

"What will you do?"

"This is going to be harder than I thought," he mused aloud, much to himself. The pile was too thin in favor of height, so it could only support one person at a time. And not to mention the dangers of losing balance because of it. "I'll go first, then. I'll climb first to help you up. I should be able to act better as a hoister than this dead wall."

She felt uncomfortable, slightly anxious of the thought of him lifting her up, but nodded anyway. Osamu began to climb up, but not in a way that Asuka'd imagined.

Instead of scaling it slowly, he took some steps backwards and ran to the bricks with light steps. He then launched himself and used the pile to gain momentum in midair, and switched his position into a sitting one, his back facing the Dorm, and let his legs halted him from falling into the yard behind the wall. One thing she'd almost forgot: he was a man. She couldn't possibly make that move. He moved to better positioning himself to hoist her.

He offered a hand down at her. "Your left hand."

Asuka forced down a blush. Now she finally figured it out: he was not going to merely hoist her. That was too risky they could both fall down from the wall. He was going to lift her up. Like a child.

She stepped onto the pile and raised his left hand. Osamu took it and pulled it up; Asuka then raised another hand, which he also took on the arm from downside. He lifted her weight all at once when he'd made sure they were on a steady position, and in an instant, she was sitting on the wall, on a level with him with her face only some inches away from his.

She could even feel his breath now. She was glad her hair was a curtain that covered her face. With heat raising up, she was positive her cheeks would be in deep red.

Osamu looked to the ground and measured their height. "Think you can go down by yourself?"

"I—I could."

"Hm?" He looked back at her, his eyes studying her face while one hand moved to push away some strands of hair covering her face. The movement sent warmth as well as electricity onto her skin—suddenly making her uncomfortably aware of their proximity. "What's wrong? Are you hurt somewhere?"

"No," she croaked. She cleared her throat. "No." This time, she managed to say it in a stern voice. She inched away from him. "I'm fine."

"Then let's get you down. I don't think you'd be able to merely jump on your own."

"No."

"What?"

"I... can manage on my own."

Osamu gave a short laugh, voicing his disbelief. "And risking a chance of breaking your legs and leaving me partnerless? No. I'm helping."

She gave up at that. It was alerady foolish enough arguing with him on her own dorm's wall while trying not to attract unneccessary attention. So she chose to accept the offer silently.

Seeing her expression, Osamu leant and carefully hoisted one of her arms. When she was facing him, he put his hand on her waist to steady her and lowered her slowly. She felt like a five year old being hoisted by her older brother. But a little sister wouldn't be this nervous in the hands of her older brother. She could feel his muscles flexing with every movement he made-and it felt... warm on her skin.

When her feet were inches away from the ground, he let go of her and she landed softly on the grass.

Osamu scanned the field to make sure that no one was there, and then gave a nod to Asuka before dissapearing behind the wall. Asuka told herself to move and ran quietly to the building, using the backdoor to avoid patrols.

It took five minutes to be back to her room. After she shut the door, she leant her back on it and exhaled.

It was bad.

She could still feel his hand on her waist. She could still smell the scent of his sweat... And also... the lingering temptation to inch closer to him back when they had been on the wall. It was sickening as well as alluring. Somewhere in her mind, she knew it had to be the right thing to do, yet her common sense spoke otherwise.

Which would only mean that it was really bad. Had her head hit something? Or had her brain detoriated and become a five-year-old's?

She breathed deeply. No. She couldn't be distracted now. Not when she had to focus on their duel tomorrow.

Getting up, she changed her clothes and threw herself to her bed, face succumbing into a pillow. She knew his scent would linger, even after she was asleep. A smile tugged on her lips. She felt stupid for smiling in the darkness, especially with no reason to. But she didn't brush it off nontheless, and let her consciousness fade away into the realm of dreams.