Ok so chapter 4 was up quicker than I thought.
I dont really have much to add on the matter...
So enjoy the randomness

Itachi approached Tobi cautiously.
Despite having an IQ with double figures, Tobi was dangerous in very unorthodox ways.
The Uchiha checked the situation from several different angles before determining the area safe to enter.
Tobi sat on the lounge room floor surrounded by toy cars and small figurines that the orange masked man had begged Sasori to make for him.

Itachi stepped around one of the black leather couches and stood silently.
The man before him was going to die.
And it was all so simple.

After being sent to his foolish little brother, Tobi would proceed to annoy the living daylights out of Sasuke.
The young Uchiha had quite a short temper these days.
Or so they were told by Orochimaru who constantly continued to enter the base for tea and biscuits every Tuesday.
Pein still had no idea how he managed it.

After a brief encounter with his foolish little brother, Tobi would meet his end via Chidori, Katon no jutsu or whatever other creative device Sasuke had at his disposal.
The red eyed Uchiha snickered lightly.
Tobi, upon hearing this, finally realized Itachi was behind him and jumped up in happiness.

"Itachi-sama! Will you play with me?"

Itachi twitched as several innuendos replayed throughout his mind.
He shook his head.
Deidara and Hidan had been negatively influencing his thoughts lately.

"Yes. We are going to play hide-and-seek. I will be the seeker. Go and hide."

"Oh but… Itachi-sama, Tobi doesn't want to pla-"

"NOW!"

Leaping from his spot on the ground, Tobi rushed from the room, arms held out in front of him.
Several loud noises told the Uchiha that the orange masked Akatsuki was running towards the far end of the base.
Itachi smirked before walking calmly into the kitchen and popping the kettle on.
He tapped his fingers against the flat surface of the bench to the tune of "I'm Blue (Da Ba Dee)"

Kisame had been influencing his thoughts as well...

After the water had boiled and his coffee had been made, Itachi cupped his mug in his hands and returned to the lounge room.
He leaned his head against the head rest, closed his eyes and sighed in bliss.

Soon there would be one less annoying, noisy criminal in the hideout.
Whenever Tobi played hide and seek he always hid in the same room – Orochimarus old lab.
Before setting his plan into action, Itachi had set up a giant wardrobe in the decrepit room.

He had asked Deidara and Sasori to paint it rainbow and draw little lolly pops and the likes over it.
Despite the strange looks the resident artists gave him, Itachi felt a euphoria erupting inside him.
Tobi would inevitably be drawn to the wardrobe and in his haste to hide in it, wouldn't notice the trip wires and electric cage Itachi had installed.

The trap would snap shut on Tobi and electrocute him into unconsciousness.
During which time the Uchiha would place him in a cardboard box (with a supply of lolly pops) and mail him to his Foolish Little Brother.

A slow and rhythmic thumping sounded down the hallway and into the lounge room.
Itachis ears twitched in recognition of the sound and he snapped out of his train of thought.
He opened his eyes slightly to find a Kisame looking down on him from across the room.
The Teenage Mutant Ninja Shark grinned at Itachi, showing off his razorblade smile.

"I haven't seen you look this happy in a while. What brought this about?"

Itachi was about to reply when from somewhere in the base, a loud snap was heard accompanied by a scream.
He grinned evilly.
Step one of his plan had succeeded.

Sasori wasn't particularly pleased to be escorting a large, gift wrapped box in Hiruko.
It made the puppet heavier than usual and Sasori had better things to do with his time.
But the thought of being rid of Tobi convinced him that it was worth the long trip to the Post Office.

Somehow, Itachi had managed to capture the orange-faced idiot in a cardboard box which he and Pein proceeded to gift wrap and force into Sasoris large puppet.

He had to admit, it was a pretty enticing looking gift.

It had been decorated with candy-cane wrapping paper (left over from Christmas) strung together with a giant purple ribbon and topped off with a large white bow.
Itachi and Sasori had joked that the horrible color scheme matched Orochimarus hideous fashion sense.

The present was addressed as follows:

To Sasuke Uchiha,
The Village Hidden in the Sound (AKA Emo Farm)
Love Itachi Uchiha

WARNING: Fragile.

They wouldn't want Tobi to get hurt after all…
Sasoris wooden face threatened to break as he grinned at the thought of Orochimarus horror upon opening the 'gift'.

When Sasori returned to the base he was met with silence.
Blissful, blissful silence.
Even though Deidara, Kisame and Hidan had no idea what was going on, they seemed to take note of their partners quiet happiness and followed suit.
Itachi smiled softly to the puppet as he sat in the leather chair across from him.
Sasori smirked back happily and lay back with his hands behind his head.

"That takes care of that."

At The Village Hidden in the Sound:

"Open it Sasuke!"

"Don't open it Sasuke!"

"It could be a cake!"

"It could be a trap!"

"Its from your brother!"

"Its from your brother…"

"WOULD YOU BOTH SHUT IT!"

A vein was visibly popping out of the young Uchihas head as he grit his teeth irritably.
This little argument between Orochimaru and Kabuto had been going on way too long for his liking.
Ever since he had received this damn present in the mail the two of them have been squabbling back and forth like the idiots they are.

Kabuto was convinced that everything that had anything to do with the Akatsuki, namely Itachi, had to be violent, dangerous, scary or evil in every sense, shape and form.

Orochimaru on the other hand, was excited at the prospect of his favorite person sending them mail.
He had been trying to establish a pen pal relationship with Itachi ever since he was kicked out of the Akatsuki.

Glancing back and forth between the two supposedly evil and insane criminals, Sasuke shook his head and reached to open the envelope attached to the side of the gift.
Orochimaru squealed happily and glanced over Sasukes shoulder to read along with him while Kabuto slowly backed into a corner, scalpel raised defensively.

Dear Sasuke,
I hope you find this more useful in your quest for hatred than I have.
Love your favorite brother,
Itachi.

Sasuke scowled at the thought of Itachi being his 'favorite' anything and cautiously looked the box over once more.
It was unlikely his brother had sent him something that was actually dangerous.
In all probability, the most dangerous thing about the box was its horrible color scheme.
Honestly… Who would dress anything in white and purple? Especially when candy canes are involved...

Finger to his chin, Sasuke tilted his head in thought while Orochimaru and Kabuto looked at him with puppy dog eyes, each silently begging that Sasuke deny the others wishes.

Rubbing his fore head and sighing, the boy held out his hand to Kabuto.
The grey haired medic hesitated for a second but upon seeing the look in Sasukes eyes, quickly handed over his scalpel.
Sasuke nodded and carefully cut the ribbon and bow off the large box.
The three of them froze and waited for something to happen.

After a few seconds the men exchanged glances before Sasuke cut the rest of the (horrible) wrapping paper off the box and hesitantly cut the tape holding the cardboard tabs together.
Drawing in an anxious breath, Sasuke quickly pulled the tabs away and opened the box to reveal its contents.

"WHAT THE FU-"

Not the end of the series I'm afraid.
Be glad, or horrified.
Rates and reviews always appreciated :)