I used to be such a burning example,
I used to be so original.
I used to care, I was being careful.
Made sure I showed it to those that I love
- Millstone by Brand New
The first time Violet called Liam he didn't pick up. The eleventh time he answered and told her to lose his number. The first time Violet called Ben he didn't answer as well. By the seventeenth call he sent her a text saying 'fuck u'. However, she hadn't given up on either of the boys. Of course, both continued to ignore her and Violet expected them to even block her number. They could ignore her calls and texts, Violet knew, but they couldn't avoid her at college, especially if she was looking for them.
"Ready?" Simon walked into Violet's bedroom. As usual, they were walking to college together. Violet couldn't remember the last time they hadn't walked to class together. They'd been best friends since they were seven and nothing had torn them apart since.
"Yeah," Violet sighed as she shoved her phone in her pocket. That morning she had called Liam and Ben a total of four times each. Had it not been for college she would've continued to call them, but college was a good thing. There would be no way of avoiding her if Ben had three classes with her and Liam had one.
"So, Shelly," Simon began, calling his mother by her first name, "is going to be gone for God knows how long, which means I have to look after Mini."
"Its fine," Violet said, "I wasn't planning to go out this week anyway. I'll help if you'd like."
It was always like this. Shelly would wonder off with a different man each time and Violet would always be there for Simon, just like he would always be there for her. In fact, Violet would have moved to Leeds over the summer but stayed in Bristol, for Simon. No one knew, besides her aunt, that her mother had died early on that summer and Violet now lived alone. She was supposed to go with her aunt to Leeds, but was able to talk her into letting her stay. All she had was Simon now.
"Look, Violet. You have to get over those two guys. Ben's a fucking homophobe, and Liam is some athlete douche. Why bother tearing yourself up over them?"
"You don't know them like I do. Ben isn't homophobic, he just isn't gay and Zane came on too strong. And Liam…he is anything but an athlete douche," she explained.
"Fine, but I'm throwing a party this weekend and you're going to have the time of your fucking life," Simon grinned.
"What about Mini?"
"What about her? She can party too."
"Need I remind you she is ten?"
"Hey, ten and a half," Simon corrected. "…I just want you to be happy, Vi."
"Thank you."
At that point they arrived at the college, just in time for the bell. Simon didn't have any morning classes with her and so they parted ways.
"Ah, Miss Troman," a voice came up behind Violet.
Violet turned and noticed the Headmaster. He was short for a guy and his hair was graying. "Is this going to take long?" Violet asked impatiently.
"Yes, I hope you don't mind coming into my office."
Violet sighed, but obeyed and followed him into his office. It was too neat. The walls were blank, white save for a framed certificate near his desk.
"It's your grades, Miss Troman. And your behavior…and frankly, yourself entirely. I'm afraid you're failing…all your classes. If your grades and behavior don't improve, you will be expelled."
"Expelled?" Violet exclaimed, shocked.
"Yes. Some of your professors are also requesting a meeting with your mother."
"My mum? Uhm, she's out of town. A business trip."
"That's fine, no worries. When will she be back?"
Violet licked her lips, "Uh…well, she, uh, doesn't know yet. Cause, you know, it all depends if everything goes as planned, her business. So, yeah, I dunno."
"Hmm, that's unfortunate. And you have no other guardian, not even an older sibling?"
"Nope."
"Alright. Whenever your mother knows when she'll be back, please inform me."
"Sure," Violet said rising from her seat and walking out the door.
Shit, shit, shit. Where was she going to get a mum from? She could pay someone to be her mum, but where the hell would she get the money for it? And she was fairly positive that the Headmaster had met her mother while she was registering Violet, just before she died. Shit!
The first morning class had just ended and Violet headed towards the gym, where Simon would be.
He had just walked out of the locker room. His golden locks were sticking to his wet face and he looked drained.
"Simon! You know, we should go somewhere," she told him, running up to him.
"Okay. Wanna go to yours or mine?"
"No, I mean let's go somewhere. Like London. I've only been there a couple of times."
"London? What are you on now, Vi?"
"I'm serious. Let's just run. Me and you, you and me. We could go to Edinburgh instead. It's gorgeous there."
"Bollocks! You're fucking serious. I haven't been there since I was six."
"Exactly! Come on, let's go."
"I'd love to, Vi. Especially with you; you're the only person I'd ever want to run off with, but…I can't leave Mins here. Even when my mum is here, she's never around for long. I'm not gonna leave Mini here with her."
Of course, Mini. Violet should've known he wouldn't leave Mini behind.
Seeing the grimace on Violet's face, Simon said, "Why do you wanna run off now though? Did one of those wankers say something to you?"
"No. I should tell you something. It's—I…my, fuck," Violet was tongue tied. She didn't know why she couldn't tell Simon about her mother. If she wanted it to be kept a secret he would keep it one. But she wouldn't be able to stand the pity or the fact that someone would know she was an orphan. She couldn't do it, not yet. She'd rather him think she was on a bad trip than know this.
Violet turned quickly, ignoring Simon's voice behind her. She didn't turn back around or even pay attention to what he was saying. She just took off. Her feet carried her to an unknown location. She couldn't go home, she knew that. That place, it was the loneliest place in the world. For a house so small, she felt like it was a castle and she was alone. Why else would she throw so many parties?
She ended up in the famous little park where she'd first met Simon. So her subconscious had taken her here. No wonder. It would always be Simon. Even when her mind was on her dead mum, it was still all about Simon. It always was. That's how it is when you love someone, especially when you love them more than you should. He was everything to her. Sometimes she hated that.
When did life get so fucking hard? Did it start when her mum died or when she realized she was in love with her best friend or when she fell under the addiction of drugs? Life was definitely a shitty rollercoaster or maybe it was a spectacular rollercoaster considering all its many strange twists, flips and turns. But it was a rollercoaster, sometimes a traumatic one.
Small tears slid down her cheek slowly, but just a couple. Don't cry, pull yourself together. With the back of her hand she wiped them away, drying her face. Fuck, there's nothing to cry about even…Liar.
"Are you alright?" an unfamiliar voice asked.
"Oh, yeah, mate, I'm fine," Violet answered immediately. She turned around to find a girl from school. Quinn. The girl Liam was so interested in. "Quinn?"
"You know me?"
"Not really."
"I know how it feels. To feel like shit, but things do get better, they did for me."
"Unless you know how to bring people back from the dead and how to make others fall in love with you, well, I don't think so."
"I never said things will go back to normal or take a turn in the direction you want" Quinn said, taking a seat beside Violet on the bench that lay in front of the pond. "I was bullied all through secondary school. I still am a little, but last week a hot Australian guy stood up for me. Things will brighten up, trust me. We all wish we could go back in time when things were easier and we were more innocent. Even if it was just the day before, things seemed brighter then, yeah? I still miss when I was little. There was no such thing as a broken heart and people weren't so judgmental. So yes, things get tough, like fucking tough, but we pull through it. Don't we?"
Violet couldn't find words. Quinn was right, so right. Violet found herself hugging the other girl, her arms wrapped around her tight as if Quinn was going to pull her through it. She didn't know how long she held onto the girl but the silence made it feel like eternity and Violet would've been fine with that, escaping the rest of her life in a place where she felt safe.
Violet let go of Quinn and simply said, in a quiet voice, "Thank you." She remained silent for a moment, "I should go fix things, then," she stood up from the bench.
"I hope things turn out the way you'd like," Quinn replied.
"Thanks…I don't think I would've made it through the day if you hadn't come along."
Violet gently knocked on the oak door in front of her. She was at Simon's house now, but she wasn't even sure he was home yet.
And he wasn't. Mini, his ten year old sister, opened the door. She looked almost exactly like him, except in girl form. For a ten year old, she was very tall, only a few inches smaller than Violet herself. Her long, wavy golden hair fell down her freckled face the way Simon's did and then there was the eyes. Green-blue, blue-green, looking into them was like standing in the middle of the ocean on a sunny day. They shimmered and stood out from everything, a white wall, a black wall, they always popped.
"Hi, Mini," Violet smiled sheepishly.
"Hey. Simon's not home yet. You can come inside though," Mini said, opening the door further so Violet could allow herself in.
Simon's house was a lot like her own. It was small, though it was bigger than Violet's. The kitchen and dining room were one room and beside it was a small living room with a single couch and TV in the middle. Originally there were two bathrooms, but Shelly got one turned into a small bedroom so each of them could have their own bedroom. Shelly had the largest room, Mini had the second largest, her walls decorated in pink, pink and pink, and Simon had the bathroom-bedroom with blue-grey walls.
Mini didn't have to say anything like "Make yourself at home," or "Would you like anything to drink?" This house, this family was like a second home to Violet. Since her mother passed away it was home. Mini just walked back to her room, along with a girl with dark hair and tan skin that Violet assumed was a girl from school.
Within fifteen minutes the door handled twitched and Simon walked through the door. "Violet?" he said once noticing her on the couch.
"My-my mum is dead," she said blatantly.
"What? What the fuck happened?" he said taking a step towards her.
"She, she's been dead. Since the beginning of the summer holiday."
"Violet—" he began sympathetically.
"Please, don't pity me like that. I just had to tell you, I had to tell someone."
"Okay," he only said. If Violet didn't want his sympathy he wouldn't give it to her and if she did want it he would give her his whole heart.
Later that evening Simon threw a party which was part of his plot to get Violet her chance at speaking to the "wankers".
Violet sat in Mini's bedroom, waiting for Mini to trick the two boys into her room. She could her Mini's voice say something along the lines of "I'll show you a really cool trick, just follow me." No one could refuse that little, or not so little, girl.
Violet stood up as the door opened and in walked Liam and then Ben. Behind them Mini shut and locked the door, trapping the three in the room.
"Really?" Liam sighed.
"Yeah, yeah, really," Violet replied. "You fucking wankers need to listen to me!" she blurted out. "Ben, we had nothing really going on. We were party buddies, that's all really. Yeah, I introduced you to drugs and shit, but you took it the wrong way. I don't have feelings for you and barely anything even happened between us. And, Liam, Liam, you douche, fucking prick. I liked you but you didn't even give me a chance to explain myself properly. It's like you wanted me to be like other girls, but I'm not! I'm me, just me!" She spoke so quickly she feared they hadn't even understood.
However, the scowl on Ben's face made her believe that he at least understood what she said. "I'm sorry, Ben," she said after a moment. She never wanted to hurt him but that's all he was to her. A party buddy, a friend. At this point, she didn't think he would want to be her friend any longer.
"Can you just let us the fuck out?" Ben asked angrily.
Violet got the door unlocked and Ben left abruptly, but Liam remained behind.
"You're right," he began. "I did sort of write you off. I—I guess I just wanted another reason to hate this place," he explained. "I'm sorry."
"Hey, if you think this place is bad, you should check out Liverpool," Violet said jokingly. "I'm sorry, too," Violet said after a moment.
"So we're friends, then? Or more than that?"
"I, I honestly dunno. I'd love to be more than that, but, it's just, I'm in love with someone else right now," Violet explained, thinking of Simon.
"Oh," Liam replied, though he didn't seem upset. "Then, friends for now, yeah?"
"Yeah," she said before walking over and embracing him tightly.
A/N: So, what did you all think? This was probably the darkest one yet, yeah? Of course, there will be darker episodes, especially if I do a second series! By the way, did any of you notice Liv's appearance, or the Ceffy bench from 4x07? Reviews are love!