Chapter four
Taia left her sister, nervous about the future and this relationship with Whitestar that seemed to be developing a new definition, but one she had no experience with. She wasn't so nervous she was willing to skip out on magic lessons, though – she wasn't going to risk Snowowl's wrath just because she was nervous. She headed to the bath quickly, so that she wouldn't show up stinky and sweaty from weapons training. She skipped the hot baths, though, no time for languishing – and headed off to the practice room.
She found Whitestar already there, and Snowowl waiting for her – apparently she was a bit late. She smiled at Whitestar – and even caught herself winking at her. Whitestar relaxed and smiled back; it seemed she had been worried that Taia would be talked out of her budding relationship by Brandi, and was relieved that this was not going to be the case.
"Well," said Snowowl. "Let's get started, shall we?"
Taia took her place seated next to Whitestar.
"Link minds," Snowowl said. "It is time for Taia to learn to access the Heartstone."
Taia gasped, surprised; only Tale'edras were allowed to use the Heartstone of a Vale. She was Shin'a'in.
"But…" she said.
"No 'buts'," said Snowowl. "You are Shin'a'in, cousin to the Tale'edras, trained in mage craft by the Tale'edras, and living in a Tale'edras Vale. You have as much right to the Heartstone as any of us, and you need to learn to use it – and it needs to be able to recognize you."
"A stone? Can recognize a person?"
"The Heartstone has a shield on it that is linked to every Tale'edras in the Vale. Only those who are recognized by that shield can use it," explained Snowowl.
"Oh," Taia said, rather lamely.
She turned to Whitestar and held up her hands to link – it was still easier to link with physical contact present. Whitestar took her hands, and they both felt the near-electric charge that went through them at the touch. They linked minds – and this time, neither took care to shield the other from their thoughts or feelings. Each could feel the intensity of the other's nervousness and excitement about the other, and it surprised them both. Their mental link wavered, but they were able to stabilize and maintain it.
"Whitestar, please initiate a connection to the Heartstone. Taia, you watch what she does and follow," said Snowowl. There was the hint of a raised eyebrow to his voice, but both girls were too busy focusing on their task to pay much heed to it. Whitestar extended her mind to what looked to Taia like a bright, white light. Taia watched as Whitestar linked herself to the light – the Heartstone – in much the same way the girls were linked to each other. Taia reached out with her mind towards the Heartstone and experienced a kind of hesitancy on its part; that must be the shield, she thought. She waited patiently for some kind of sign that she should proceed – or more likely, she thought, a forceful rejection – and the hesitancy melted away. She linked that part of her mind that she had extended to the power of the Heartstone as she had seen Whitestar do – and was amazed by its power. She was beginning to become overwhelmed when she heard Snowowl tell them both to disengage, and gladly did so.
"Good," said Snowowl. "That was an excellent first connection. Now, not every Tale'edras mage can access the Heartstone. Journeyman level mages cannot, they can only access the ley lines leading to it – and ONLY the ones leading to the Heartstone. You have heard Whitestar speak of being an Adept-level healer. She is, as you know, also a mage. Adept mages, once trained, can access nodes of magic – this you know. But I don't think I've ever adequately explained what that means. Magic travels throughout the land much like rivers and lakes. Rivers flow into lakes, where the water is more concentrated – likewise, ley lines feed into nodes, where the magic is more concentrated – deeper, wilder, and less controlled than the ley line, which has a direction and a current.
"A Journeyman-level mage only has access to the energy he has within himself – he does not have the power to access a ley line, let alone a node. A Master-level mage can access the ley line, but cannot handle the raw power of a node. This does not indicate a level of skill – always remember, no matter what level of mage a person is, a skilled and clever Journeyman can defeat the most powerful but lazy Adept. The ranking is a matter of power, not skill. It is true that the unskilled Adept can likely stumble around enough spells to outlast the energy level of a Journeyman, but there have been several Journeymen level mages – and healers – that have proven indispensable in times of need. Here, they also provide a support for the Adept mages so that every job is done by those most suited for it – and nothing is wasted.
"Now. The difference between the Heartstone and a regular node is that the magic contained in the Heartstone is partially 'tamed'. Therefore, it is more similar to the power you will find in a ley line than to a node; please do not think you are ready, either of you, to handle a node. Whitestar has developed skill with the Heartstone and has been able to successfully utilize the magic of a ley line, but she has not yet progressed to the level needed to handle the node. She will – as will you, young Shin'a'in. But for now, we will continue to work with the Heartstone, until you gain confidence and skill. Only then will you be allowed to progress to the use of actual ley lines – and finally, a node."
Taia thought this over. She was already reeling from the power of the Heartstone – if Snowowl said she would develop skill and confidence with it, she believed him. How that would ever happen without her head starting on fire, she would have to wait and see.
"Now," said Snowowl, with the slightest of smiles in the corner of his mouth and a suspicious glint in his eye, "When were you going to tell me you were lifebonded?"
Taia's jaw dropped. Whitestar looked similarly shocked, and croaked – "Lifebonded? We're lifebonded?"
Snowowl laughed. "You didn't realize it yet? Yes, yes you are lifebonded. Now, do either of you know what that means?"
They both shook their heads. Taia had heard of it in the ballads, but never knew it was a real thing; Whitestar had heard of it a few times, but never thought about what it really meant.
"Ah ha. Ok. Well – you're in good company. No one really knows where it comes from – the Goddess, I imagine – but a lifebond means, basically, exactly what it says. Have either of you noticed that you just know what the other is thinking or feeling, without asking, without using your Gift, and maybe even without realizing you knew it?" Snowowl asked.
"Um…..I guess I just thought I needed to work on my shields," said Taia.
"I didn't really notice….until recently. I thought I felt something when she first arrived – but figured I was just excited about a new person in the Vale," said Whitestar.
Taia remembered now, the feeling that Whitestar was somehow familiar even though she had never seen her before, and said so.
"Yes, yes. That is a lifebond. They often form suddenly, on first sight; but are not recognized as such for some time. It seems to be a soul-level bond, where two people are actually bonded together by a magical thread – perhaps the twining of the two souls into one, if you want to get romantic about it – and through this bond, you share your emotions, your thoughts, you feel what the other feels, all the time. I am told you can learn to shield each other out, should you ever desire to; but you cannot do so without the other one immediately feeling the blankness where her sense of 'you' would be, and from what I am told the experience is not pleasant.
"There are many benefits to a lifebond; you are never alone. You have a person who loves you without question, who always understands exactly how you feel – because she will feel it, too. Should you ever fight, you will learn quickly not to say things that would hurt the other, even in anger, because you will feel their pain as if it was your own; but you will also feel her joy. However – there is also a downside."
Taia wasn't sure that the downside hadn't already been mentioned. She had already experienced having people in her head all the time – and as much as she loved – loved? Did she love her? – Whitestar, she wasn't sure she wanted her to be aware of every passing thought, every passing feeling, for all their lives.
"Can…..can it be broken?" she asked. Whitestar looked horrified, but remained silent.
"No one has ever discovered how, if it can. I would not recommend trying it, because of the downside I was about to tell you about. It is called a lifebond for a reason; if one of you dies, the other will soon follow, out of grief and loneliness. There has ever only been one exception to this – Herald Mage Vanyel Ashkevron, who was lifebonded to Tylendel. We have all heard of Tylendel, the Herald Mage who was repudiated by his Companion – and the only reason Vanyel survived was because he was Chosen by a Companion before he could successfully….follow Tylendel, although even with the Companion he did try. And he was never the same, he was always in grief. I am told, however, by lifebonded couples I have known, that they consider this downside to be well worth it," said Snowowl.
"Why…..why would you want to break it?" Whitestar asked, looking hurt. And Taia realized she could actually feel the fear, the feeling of rejection from Whitestar as if it were her own – and suddenly realized that Snowowl was right. This was worth it. She never wanted to be without Whitestar, she never wanted to be alone ever again, and she knew now she never would be.
"I don't," she said. "I….was a little scared about the idea of having you in my head all the time, because I remember what it was like in the Plains with all those people hammering at me; but you don't hammer. You're just there, warm, light and safe, and I don't want to be without you there ever again." Taia blushed, realizing that she had just said all that with Snowowl still there.
Whitestar grinned. Her eyes lit up, and Taia thought her heart would stop at that moment, she was so beautiful.
"Me too," said Whitestar. "I've been really lonely – despite being surrounded by Healers and Mages, even ones who don't put stock in what level a person is – I am the only one at mine. At first I was happy to just not be the only prodigy; but I never have to be alone again, at all. And I wouldn't give it up for anything. I'm glad you didn't find k'Sheyna first!"
Taia and Whitestar left their lesson, hand-in-hand – a little self-conscious about it, but nevertheless not wanting to let go. They ate dinner – neither of them noticed what they ate – and headed to the baths. This time, Taia did luxuriate in the hot bath – but not on her own. She luxuriated not only in the bath itself, but the fact that she now had the freedom to look at Whitestar's nakedness, appreciate its curves, its smoothness. She had felt it somewhat last night – but tonight she looked. Taia was a typical Shin'a'in; except for her almost-violet eyes, she strayed very little from the archetype of her people. She had tan skin, long black hair she wore braided in rows most of the time, a long-ish face despite the small-for-a-Shin'a'in-nose. Her body was well-muscled body from riding horseback and weapons training; she had the beginnings of what would be generous breasts and just the slightest curve to her hips. Whitestar was pale; her blonde hair reached just past her shoulders with the smallest wave, and her eyes were bright grreen. She was slender, with small beginnings of a chest and a soft curve to her hips. Together, they were almost opposites. She thought their bodies looked lovely wrapped up in each other – and said so to Whitestar.
Whitestar grinned. "Let's get out of this bath and back to the ekele – and try it more completely," she said.
Taia was a little shocked, but agreed. They were young, but they were lifebonded. She didn't want to wait, what was the point? So they went back to the ekele together. When they arrived, they dropped the robes they had been wearing and reached for each other. They kissed each other, slowly but furiously, their hands exploring each other's bodies as if they had no idea what they would find.
"Drop your shields and link with me," Whitestar said. Taia did what she was told – and oh, my. Suddenly, she was awash in not just her own feelings and sensations, but Whitestar's, as well. When she kissed Whitestar she felt both of their enjoyment. When she sucked a nipple her own breath caught. They collapsed together onto a pallet – whose, it didn't matter anymore, they would never sleep separately again. That first experience, it was…..indescribable. Explosive. They fell asleep entwined, slept soundly and dreamed each other's dreams until morning.
In the morning when they woke, both were sore in places they hadn't known could get sore, had cramps in muscles that had never been used; but they were happy. They couldn't stop grinning and mooning at each other. They asked the hertasi to deliver them breakfast, because they wanted to at least make an attempt to get control of themselves before being seen in public. It was not unheard of, by any means, for teenage lovebirds to be mooning at each other in public, but Taia and Whitestar were a little bit shy and didn't want to advertise. After breakfast, they washed up quickly at the bath and headed off to mage lessons.
Snowowl was waiting – as always – and they hurried in and sat down.
"Enjoying your newfound relationship, I see," said Snowowl, with a smile. "Good. You both deserve happiness, and I am glad you found it with each other. Now. Let us continue with our lesson from yesterday. Taia, you are going to access the heartstone – on your own – and Whitestar is going to observe your technique and make certain you do so correctly."
They practiced accessing the heartstone until Taia could do so easily and without a shock to her senses. Snowowl then demonstrated, then watched as she practiced incorporating that energy into her own shields, her own spells. It was difficult, but she knew she was making good progress.
"Since you are now able to utilize the magic of the heartstone, you have passed your master-level test. Tomorrow, we will begin teaching you more specifically offensive magics, so that you will be able to aid in your own defense as well as the defense of the Vale. We are attacked, periodically, both by the magical beasts of the Pelagiris as well as other mages who wish to attempt to steal our power for themselves. In the event that this happens, we need the skills and powers of all members, and we hope that you will be willing and able to assist us," said Snowowl.
Taia thought about this. It had never occurred to her that anyone would attack the Vale; it seemed such a utopia, she couldn't imagine anything bad ever happening here. She knew the Tale'edras cleansed the Pelagiris wilds of the harmful effects left over from the Mage Wars, but that seemed so distant and unrelated to anything she was seeing here. Plus – she was Shin'a'in. Training as a mage was more necessity, curiosity, even something of a game; it had not occurred to her that she might have to use it to actually hurt someone, even in her own defense, or defense of Clan. She was used to the idea of using her physical weapons against other people, although she had never actually done so. But using her mental weapons seemed somehow different. Anyone could learn to use a sword – or a knife, or a bow – and even though she was gifted and well trained in their use, anyone could defeat her if they used them well. But mind magic? Real magic? Not everyone had access to that, or could defend against it. And that didn't seem honorable or fair to her. She would use whatever means at her disposal in defense of herself or of Whitestar, but she hoped those "means" would be more physical than mental.
"I don't know how I feel about that," said Taia. "I mean, the mage beasts, the magic cleansing – of course I'll help with that. And if it's an actual mage that attacks the Vale, then I can respond in kind. But I don't think it's fair to use magic against people with no gifts. Particularly since I CAN use physical weapons. I guess…it would feel like stepping on an ant. The ant is the strongest insect there is – but he's no match against people. We have weapons they have no defense against. That's kind of like mages and the unGifted, right? They can't defend against mage Gift. So it's not fair to use it against them."
"You," said Snowowl, "are going to make an excellent Tale'edras mage. Those are exactly the kinds of morals that make you a Tale'edras mage – and not one of the evil ones that might attack us in the first place."
Taia was relieved. She had been afraid that any hesitance on her part to defend the Vale with magic at any cost would result in rejection from the Vale, but instead the opposite was true. So maybe she really could make a home here, with these people; they weren't Shin'a'in, but they were cousins. It wasn't the Plains, but they had the same Goddess, the same basic beliefs, a similar language that had once been one language, one people. She could feel at home here. After all, Whitestar was here – and Whitestar WAS her home. No matter where she went, Whitestar would be there, and she would always be home.
After mage lessons, the girls went to lunch as usual. Afterwards, Whitestar went to her healing lessons and Taia went to weapons training with Brandi. Brandi would be leaving soon; there was only a moon left until it was time for her to go back to Wolf Clan, back to Jacqui. Taia would miss her terribly; Brandi was the only connection she had to the Clans, to her own people, but more than that she was the only family she had that she still talked to – and she was Taia's hero. She had rescued Taia from an untenable situation at home, taken her to safety where she could be trained and shielded. She helped her cope with the loss of her home and the adjustment to another, the acceptance of being she'chorne and the relationship with Whitestar. She had maintained Taia's weapons training and helped her maintain also a sense of her own identity, and she had stayed – for a whole year – just to make sure Taia was settled and happy. As far as Taia was concerned, Brandi had saved her life, and several times over.
"I have arranged for you to continue training with some of the scouts," Brandi said. "They will be joining us in the next couple of days so that you can get to know them. I have also arranged, you will be surprised to hear, for you to learn some skirmish and assassination techniques from some of the hertasi. They might have an arrangement for the Tale'edras to primarily defend them and provide the protection of the Vale in exchange for housekeeping duties; but some of them are sheer geniuses with throwing knives and hand to hand combat."
"Thank you," said Taia. "That sounds fascinating, actually. I know the Shin'a'in learn and teach a lot of skills, but they can't fight with every possible style. It will be wonderful to learn something completely fresh."
"I was hoping you would say that, since you've already learned everything I can teach you. All we're doing between the two of us is practice what you already know!" said Brandi, who was a formidable fighter in her own right.
That was true. Practicing skills built muscle memory, but the Shin'a'in didn't just drill in the physical training of combat. They taught the mental discipline, as well, and battle tactics. Every new warrior panicked at the first battle; it is all well and good to train in the theory that you are preparing to slice through another person's body with the intent to kill them, and risk your own painful and gory death in the process. It is an entirely different thing to actually do so, and to face the prospect of that death for yourself. Muscle memory helped to block out that reality until a person had time to process it; a warrior could simply react to the onslaught of enemy weapons, not think about what he or she was doing with his own, or what the consequence of failure was likely to be. And so Taia practiced with sincere discipline; she never wanted her failure in battle to be for lack of skill or adequate preparation. If someone was going to defeat her, they were going to have to earn it. She was Shin'a'in, after all. They don't go down easily, and they don't die on their knees.
After her practice, she and Brandi met Whitestar at the kitchens for dinner, followed by the baths as usual. Afterwards, instead of going their separate ways they decided to put on clean clothes and walk around the Vale; there was a feast to attend. They arrived at the common area – a wide, open space with several stages placed where the tervardi were singing. Tervardi were a bird-like people, another magical creation of Urtho – kind of a hybrid bird-human race. Urtho hadn't liked to make war, he liked to create life; creatures with the intelligence of humans but often the appearance of something completely different. Among those were the hertasi, the kyree – a wolf-like race – the dyheli, which resembled large elk and often provided transportation for the Tale'edras in exchange for protection and grazing land – the tervardi, and the gryphons, which he considered his masterpiece. Taia had never met a gryphon or a kyree, and had only seen dyheli from a distance. She had also heard of something called a ratha – the catlike version of a kyree – but no one she knew had ever seen one, and she wasn't certain they still existed. Kyree lived on the Plains, but she hadn't done a lot of travel in between Clans and had not had the opportunity to meet them.
Taia, Brandi and Whitestar mingled among the Tale'edras, eating the hors d'oevres and drinking the wine. They listened to the singing and enjoyed the multi-colored mage lights that were set strategically and decoratively around the feast.
"Congratulations on your master level achievement," said Lightwind, the first person Taia had met on arriving at k'Treva Vale. "I hear you've also discovered a lifebond, and congratulations on that, as well."
"Thank you," said Taia. "It's all been very fast, but I'm glad to have found some control and especially shielding. I am so grateful for everything your Vale has done for me."
"Well, you're quite welcome, and we hope that by now you consider it your Vale, as well," said Lightwind. "In fact, that's one of the things I wanted to talk with you about. We were hoping you would allow us to adopt you, and make you a full member of k'Treva."
Taia was shocked. She had never considered this. She was Shin'a'in, she loved her heritage – but she could never return to the Plains. She had her horses, and enough stock from Brandi's trips back and forth to start her own herd – but that wasn't a Clan. She wasn't sure what it would mean to be adopted by the Tale'edras; would she have to give up her horses? Would she have to give up her weapons training? Would she need to change her name, to something more Tale'edras-sounding? Would she need a bondbird? She liked Tyke well enough, but he was bonded to Whitestar. What would it be like to be bonded to a bird? And most importantly, would she still be Shin'a'in?
"In answer to what I'm sure you're wondering, you can be both Tale'edras and Shin'a'in – your title will just be longer. Instead of being Taia shena'Pretera'sedrin, you would be Taia shena'Pretera'sedrin k'Treva. Not too much longer!" said Lightwind. "Nothing else need change, save that you would be fully accepted as a member of the Vale, and therefore also welcome in any other Vale. You could, if you chose, ascend to become an Elder of the Vale. But mostly, we would be your family, and you would be ours."
Taia teared up. She missed having a family, and as much as she loved Brandi and Whitestar – she was used to being surrounded by a Clan, and she missed it. She would become a full member of k'Treva, she would be adopted by this Vale. She might even enlist Brandi's help in adopting Whitestar as Shin'a'in, so that they could both belong to both peoples – that was something she'd have to discuss with Brandi, she wasn't sure what that entailed. But she would become Tale'edras, and gladly. She might even take one of those bondbirds.