Aubrey's POV
Once we drove out of the parking lot, I sit up only to rest my head on Rian's shoulder. I watch as Zack and Broyce talk about stupid brother stuff. I wonder how badly I'll be ruining their home life once I settle in. Probably a lot since I still cry myself to sleep every night. I sighed as I try to get everything that happened earlier to leave me alone.
"Zack how far are we from your place?" I asked.
"About a half hour to forty-five minutes. Matters how fast Broyce drives." Zack says.
"I don't speed, I just don't drive like old people named Zack," Broyce says laughing.
"Yeah sure. But while your at it, do you try killing people with your mad turns?" Zack counters back.
"Nah, that's just the car spitting." Broyce laughs.
I smile. Maybe I did like Broyce, but no one could know. For god sakes my boyfriend just passed away like two weeks ago. That proves that I really don't care. I do care though, it's just I have had a crush on Broyce since I was fifteen. I always thought he was cute, but I never admitted it.
"Right Abby?" Broyce says. I totally just blacked out. What the hell were they talking about.
"Uh, right." I said not knowing what I was agreeing to.
Everyone looks at me shocked. What had I just agreed to? Zack's face was turning red, and Jack was holding back laughs. Alex was laughing his head off. And Rian, well he was just shaking his head. Okay what the hell did I get myself into?
"Wait, what did I just agree to? I'm sorry guys, seriously I like zoned out, so whatever I agreed to yaah I just don't know what we we're talking about. Guys seriously what the hell we're you talking bout?" I asked afraid to know what I agreed to.
"Thank gosh you weren't actually agreeing to that. I would have died," Broyce said.
"Same here," Zack said.
"What the hell we're you talking about?" I asked again.
Zack turned around and smiled, "Don't worry bout it Abby, it's all figured out now."
"Wow okay thanks for the info," I say shaking my head.
Zack smiles again and turns around. I shake my head, these boys are just to crazy. All of a sudden I hear a song in the car. I sit straight up and try listening to the words better.
Where were you, when everything was falling apart. Lost and insecure, you found me, you found me
All my days were spent by the telephone that never rang
And all I needed was a call that never came
To the corner of 1st and Amistad
Lying on the floor, surrounded, surrounded
Why'd you have to wait? Where were you? Where were you?
Just a little late, you found me, you found me.
I look up towards Zack and smile. He found me. He found me when I was lost, when I was insecure, when I was lying down on my bed, surround by the horrible thoughts and memories. And he found me. He found me a little bit to late. If he would of came the day before, I would have been fine. I wouldn't have overdosed and I wouldn't have felt so alone. I wouldn't be here this moment. But that is what happened and nothing can change that.
I sigh and look towards Broyce. How and why did he still care about me after all these years? The last time I saw him I was seventeen, happy, always smiling, full of life, and not a scar on my body. I wish that was still true now a days but the beatings gave me these scars. They we're like battle scars, and I treasured them with all my heart.
I continue to wait to just be left alone. I feel like I've had to much attention the last few days, especially today. I just wanted to find my room walk into it and just be left alone. A few moments later I see a white house ahead. It had a green lawn and a mailbox. It looked like any other house. They even put a girlie touch on it by adding two pots with flowers. Broyce pulled into the driveway and parked. I hoped over Jack and got out. I quickly run to the trunk and grab my bags before anyone could react.
I look at their house again. This is my new home, my new start, my new life. I hope nothing goes wrong, cause if something does go wrong, I'm gone. Broyce and Zack hop out at the same time running to get the bags. Zack grabs his bags and runs inside. That was weird, where the hell is he going?
"What's his rush," I asked Broyce.
Broyce laughs, "He can't wait to see Hailey. And any minute now my girlfriend Jessie should be here."
"That's awesome! Hey uh Broyce." I really just wanted to go cry. First of all because of what Oliver and Mia had said. And second of all because how my heart feels like it's being tossed around and played with.
"Yeah Abby?" Broyce says as he closes the trunk. By now all the guys have already ran inside and started talking amongst themselves.
"Do you think I could maybe just like go take a nap somewhere?" I asked.
"Yeah, actually Zack called me, we've transformed the old spare room into your bedroom for now," Broyce said smiling and leading the way.
As we walked inside I saw the front door lead into the living room. Their living room was huge with blue walls and white carpet. There was a big screen television, a big blue couch that was now occupied by the guys. Also their was a light blue loveseat. In the next room there was the kitchen. The counter tops were white and the stools were also white. They had a nice big table in the dinning room which was light wood. Their ceiling lights had a pretty cylinder with like lightening bolts across them. Finally they had a hall, which I presumed held the doors to the bedroom.
Broyce leads me to the second door on the left and opens it for me. In the room there was a queen size bed with a striped comforter. The walls we're a dark purple and the carpet was black. I smiled at least I would still have something to hold my secrets into. The dark walls are like my secrets, so I will let them hear everything. There was also a small entertainment center with a small television on it. It also had a compartment for movies or cd's. On the right side of the room there was a walk in closet. Near the closet there was a desk with a lamp on it. It was the perfect place for me to write my poems and stories.
"Thank-you so much Broyce! It's perfect." I said giving him a hug.
"Well I'll leave then so you can settle in. Oh that door over there is your own bathroom, and well everything else you can sorta see for yourself." Broyce said excusing himself.
I smile and look around the room. I began unpacking by hanging up the two photos I had brought. Once I hang them up I place all my clothes on hangers and put them in the closet. I set my shoes on the bottom of the closet and shut the door. I then grab my laptop and set it down on the desk. I then unpack my cd's and movies placing them in the special compartment of my new entertainment center. Finally I grab my favorite white multi-colored polka dot blanket and my stuff penguin Houston.
I grab my blanket and Houston and lay down in my bed. I hear the guys laughing and I hear a girly laugh. Must have been that Jessie girl or Hailey girl. I sigh and burry my body under the comforter and my own blanket. I also hold Houston to my chest. I began to cry my eyes out into the pillow. How can I just be played around with? How could everything literally slip through my hands less than a month? Everything has changed and nothing in a good way.
A few moments later I hear the door slam and my phone go off. I look at the name and see it's Broyce. They must be going out into the yard for a little bit. I ignore it and just lay there looking up at the ceiling. So high and strong it must be. It's strength holding up the roof. And yet not tumbling down and landing on me like I wish it would.
I turn around and look at the photos I brought. I wish I could go back to being a kid. How I would die to be that age again. How I would die or give anything up so I wasn't in this situation anymore. How I wish I could live by myself. How I wish I never meet Liam or his friends. How I wish I could make a career in cooking or writing. Wishing I could be what I had set my dreams to but never shot for them. How I wish I could have never been born to make the mistakes I took and still do.
My phone goes off again. I ignore it knowing it was either Zack or Broyce. I know what I was about to do was horrible and I just couldn't stop myself. I ran into the bathroom looking to see if their was a blade. When I couldn't find one I ran into the kitchen. I grabbed a sharp knife and ran back into my room. I locked the door and slid down. I rested my head against the door. The handle in my hand was begging to be used. I kept thinking though, what if Broyce or Zack or any of the guys found out? I sighed and bring the knife back into the kitchen. I start to cry and walk into my room. I couldn't even hurt myself right. I lock my bedroom door again and go lay down.
I looks down at my body. I feel ugly and fat. Stupid and reckless. Worthless and idiotic. I wish I was someone else. I wish I had a different life. But I didn't. I was Aubrey Nicole Greence the total screw up. The mistake since birth. And the mistake until death. If I ever have children they will hate me. If I ever get married I will be divorced within a year. If I ever get a pet they would find a way to get away from me. Why couldn't I just get the courage and leave? I wouldn't be hurting anyone by it.
A few moments I hear the front door slam shut. Who could that be. I just ignore it and cuddle with Houston again. I hear footsteps and voices. Oh great I think it was Broyce and his girlfriend Jessie or whatever her name is.
"Jessie calm down. I'm just checking on her. She's like my little sister, she could never replace you." Broyce says as they get closer.
"Broyce I bet she's fine. She can live without you watching over her. I don't even get why she can live here and I can't" The girl said.
Broyce sighs. "Jessie I told you. She was in a really depressed world. She tried to commit suicide. She was so upset, and if she's left alone. Well, Zack and I are afraid she'll succeed at it. We're afraid she'll try again. I literally cannot live without her. I've known her since I was nine. She's family." Broyce fights back.
"You know what! I'm so sick of this! You have been talking about her nonstop for a week straight! She's probably some ugly whore!" Jessie had screamed.
"JESSIE! Don't you ever speak of Aubrey that way! You are gonna have to get used to it. My life does not only go around you. I have other people in my life. Some girls, some guys. I care about them all. So you need to stop being so fucking jealous all the time. Okay? Cause Aubrey is not a whore. She was an innocent girl that got mixed up with the wrong people. She's pulling herself out of the dark place she was in now. And she needs all the help she can get." Broyce said stepping up for me.
I smiled and buried my face into the pillows. My thoughts go somewhere else. I think about how I had a chance with Broyce in the past. But I gave it up for someone else. And now I'll regret it for life. I'm glad at least he was happy about being with Jessie.
When he had said her name his eyes had brightened up with joy. He had a goofy smile on and it was good.
I heard a knock on my door seconds after letting my mind slip. I just stay laying down. He may just think I fell asleep or something. I close my eyes and rest my body. Please sleep over take me so I don't have to see him and his girlfriend.
He tries turning the knob. The door's locked. I can hear him swear and run away from the door. A few seconds later I hear him playing with the knob trying to get it open. It may take him awhile so I let my mind float into an unknown world. A world where nothing makes since. It was a world where no one knew I even existed. And as weird as it was, I liked it.
I could do whatever and not be noticed for once. I was free. I had no one to bug me. I had no one watching over me. I had no one beating me. I had myself and that was enough. And then there it was. A sign saying that I was missing on a bulletin board I saw. I was shook and ran away from the people. I kept running not knowing where my feet we're taking me. I only caught up speed as the wind blew through my hair and I let me feet speak. I did not wish to control them nor did they wish to be controlled.
"I don't think so princess," I heard someone say as they grabbed me from behind. They placed their hand over my mouth dragging me farther away from the town. I soon noticed they were dragging me into a forest. I tried to bite or lick his hand but he still didn't let go. I began to cry. Come on Aubrey! Wake up any minute now! Please, please, please.
"Aubrey! Aubrey wake up!" I heard someone farther away yell, but I could not.
I started to relax my body and knew the more I freaked out, well the more questions I would be asked. I closed my eyes and thought of my dream world. A place where nothing bother me. A lifeless meadow, no trees, no plants, no animals. A place that only I knew about. Soon my dreams started to fade away and I relaxed. I let sleep take over me, and enjoyed the once and a lifetime moment where no one could judge me.