Owl and Me: NOO!
Owl: Wait. Weren't you on that TV show?
London: Wha u tkalen bot?
Me: I always knew you were a troll.
Random troll: They insult my species! *disappears*
Me: Huh. *scratches head* I shoulda known...
[Wakes up in bedroom]
Me: Wait... That was a dream?
Owl: *Wakes up in bed on the other side of the room.* ROOMIES! MY DREAMS HAVE COME TRUE!
Me: Ooooooook then?
Owl: Don't you see? We are like sisters now! Let's go rob a bank. No, we already did that. Twice.
Me: And I don't care to do that again.
Owl: We need a vacation.
Me: That sounds nice. Where should we go?
Owl: I have always wanted to go to 42 Sherman, Wallaby Way, Sydney.
Me: Very specific.
Owl: WE MUST FIND NEMO!
Me: ERMEGERD YOU'RE RIGHT!
Owl: *Dives into ocean* THIS WAY!
Me: Huh. Where'd the water come from... *dives in anyway*
[IN OCEAN]
Owl: Why is everything so blue?
Me: Well, it IS the ocean. Water is blue.
Owl: No... not really... TURTLES!
Me: *gasps* WHERE?!
Owl: *points to a tiny turtle* RIGHT THERE!
Me: Wait, is that-
Mine turtle: Hello! *explodes in my face*
Me: Of course... -.-
Owl: I shall call him Squishy, and he shall be mine. And he shall be my Squishy. *pokes Nemo*
[Later]
Person: I think I have abs!
Me: You sure about that?
(long pause)
Person: Yup, I'm pretty sure.
Me: Well... *runs forward*
*ninja kicks guy in the forehead*
*slaps him in the face*
*kicks him in the groin*
*steals abs*
*runs away*
[Back in the ocean]
Me: Isn't that Nemo?
Owl: No, he is my Squishy. And my Squishy only. *pokes Nemo again*
Me: Whatever. I will find Glowy, and he will be my Glowy, and MINE. ONLY. *pokes jellyfish* Hi Glowy.
Glowy: Dude, stop it.
Me: *pokes again*
Glowy: No, seriously, stop.
Me: *Epic poke*
Glowy: OK THAT'S IT! *zaps me*
Me: This is just like getting tasered... *gets zapped again* SHTOPIT!
Owl: Squishy. *epic pokes Nemo again*
Glowy: Everyone is poking everyone... *pokes random fish next to him*
*fish glows, showing skeleton*
*fish dies*
Me: *looks at descriptions above* Very descriptive... Nice job, me! *high-fives self, which is also a facepalm*
*POOF!*
Doctor: You should really stop that. But, I'm not in the mood for restructuring faces today. How have you been lately?
Me: Well, I've broken my foot, robbed a bank, encountered Starkit -
Owl: I have a kitty! *Picks me up*
Me: That's nice Owl. Now put me down.
Owl: *cuddles me*
Me: NO! STOP WITH THE CUDDLING! I AM NOT CUDDLY! I AM A FUZZY BALL WITH FUZZY FURY!
(Insert coin here!)
Me: NUUUUUU! *is pulled at by portal*
Owl: Look! It's a pokemon game!
Me: PUMPKINFUR! WHYYYYYYYYYYY?! *sucked into portal*
Owl: WHEEEEEEEEEE! *sucked in behind me*
Glowy: Wow. That was interesting. *sucked halfway in* Oh. Now this sucks.
[In the magical portal land... Named... ELLIPSES! No, just kidding. Welcome to Paris.]
Me: I think this is actually London... *edits statement above*
[In the magical portal land... Named... ELLIPSES! No, just kidding. Welcome to Ireland.]
Owl: That says Ireland.
Me: I think my laptop hates me...
Laptop: No dip, Sherlock.
Me: SHUDDUP!
Laptop: NO! *shuts down*
Me: NOOOO I DIDN'T SAVE THIS CHAPTER!
Owl: Yes you did.
Me: HOW DO YOU KNOW?!
Owl: Because it's right here.
Me: Oh... right...
*portal reappears*
Me: Wait... How is it back yet? We haven't even done anything...
Portal: YET! *spits out Angstkit*
Me: No! You can't do this!
Portal: Yes I can.
Me: No you can't.
Portal: Oh yes I can. I can also do this. *spits out ab guy*
Me: Oh, hey, sorry about the whole... ab...thing...
Owl: I MUST TAKE HIS ABS!
Me: Sure. Go right ahead. *bows and lets Owl pass through*
Owl: *Kung-Fu punches guy* *steals abs again*
Me: Wow. Nice. *high-fives*
Owl: *high-fives back*
Portal: Well. I CAN ALSO DO THIS! *changes color to blue* AND MEET MY BROTHER, PORTAL 2!
Portal 2: Hai. I'm orange.
Me: Hold on, when did Portal become part of Warriors?
Portal: Since you made this messed up Fanfic.
Me: Oh, that's true.
Portal: *pushes me into Portal 2 and goes directly beneath him* BWAHAHA!
Me: INFINITY POARTALZ! WHEEEEEEE- AHHHHH! *speeds up* THIS IS SCARY! MAKE IT STOP! MOMMY! I'M SCARED!
Owl: *eats popsicle*
Me: OWL! DO SOMETH-
Owl: You are doing great, hon. I wanna finish my popsicle.
Me: SCREW YOUR POPSICLE!
Owl: *gasps* HOW DARE YOU! *falcon punches me in the face*
Me: *goes flying back into Portal 2, now going backwards* MY FACE! IT HURTS!
Owl: *goes back to popsicle*
Me: PLEASE! I'M JUST AN ADORABLE LITTLE KITTY!
Portal: Yeah, I don't think so.
Portal 2: I'm getting tired.
Portal: Shuddup.
Portal 2: *cries*
Portal: *kicks Portal 2*
Portal 2: OWWW! I'M GUNNA TELL MOM!
Portal: Who IS our mom?
(pause)
Portal 2: I dunno.
Me: I'LL GIVE YOU SOME CAKE! PLEASE!
Portal: No, the cake is a lie.
Me: Wait... How did you know?
Portal: Heh. I'm a portal.
Portal 2: No, I'm a portal.
Portal: No, I am!
Portal 2: ME!
Portal: NO, I'M THE ONE TRUE PORTAL!
*epic portal fight ensues*
Me: Uh, guys, I'm still here! *goes insanely fast* STOPPIT!
Owl: I need a new popsicle. *walks away*
Me: *slams into building*
Guy at desk: *stares at me as I slide down the window, squeaking sounds coming from the window*
Me: *falls off building and onto a cop car* Ow... Oh, you've GOT to be kidding me!
Donut cop: *holding a box of donuts* MY CAR!
Me: *gets up, and brushes off all the glass shards* Hey, how have you been? Miss me?
Donut cop: *holds donuts close to him protectively* Mine...
Me: Whatever dude. *grabs the box and walks calmly away* HAVE A NICE DAY!
Donut cop: *looks at empty hands* *cries* My... My... MY DONUTS! *collapses, head in hands*
[A couple of months later]
Me: *Bounces ball against ceiling* I'm bored.
Owl: Yeah, me too. We need another vacation.
Me: Preferably one without stinging jellyfish and exploding turtles this time.
Owl: How about invading another persons house? Nah, killing JB was too much fun. *evil grin*
Me: Yeah, that was fun. *grins evilly too* OOH! Let's get into the White House and do something.
Owl: YES!
Me: I've always wondered what the prez does when he's not doing whatever it is he does.
Owl: Do you really think he does anything? Look at this country!
Me: True. We can still steal that briefcase that has all those nuclear launch codes. It'll be fun! WE'LL GET TO BEAT UP SOME SECRET SERVICE PEEPS! And we can see if his desk actually has any hidden compartments.
Owl: Sounds fun. What about next episode? *Evil grin* These fans are so excited already! I can feel it!
Me: Sure. We love to torture our readers, don't we? *grins even more*
Owl: See you in episode 5!
Me: After I post this. Are we just randomly chatting and making it part of the story?
Owl: Yeah. Who cares? It's a MOVIE!
Me: True.
[Wish: Enjoy my insanity. Our invasion of the White House is soon to come, and special thanks to Pumpkinfur for making MOAR POARTALZ!]