I don't own anything but my ideas.

XXX

The fall months were gone in almost a blink of an eye. Too much had happened for Yuki to really pay attention to anything, whether it was student council, midterms coming up, Christmas and the inevitable New Year's visit to the main house, or even the snow that forced him to wear three layers lest he die of a coughing fit, either from being too cold or from accidentally smothering himself under the covers trying to stay warm. Extra layers seemed the best choice of the three.

But even through the outrageous cold, Tohru's insane preparations for the holiday season, including at least three full-course meals that Yuki had counted her planning—one for everyone in Shigure's, one for the rest of the Sohmas, and one for her two friends—and Shigure's incredibly annoying talk about what sexy elf outfit he would get for Tohru this Christmas, Yuki still had only been able to concentrate on one thing. The fact that his lips still burned like fire where Kyo had kissed him. It was the only part of his body that wouldn't let itself feel the cold.

The second thing that his mind was completely overrun with was the obvious fact that since that day in the city, they had been unable to get anywhere near each other. Tohru didn't stay late at work anymore because of the weather. Shigure didn't stay in his study because he had just finished a novel just in time for the holiday season and could afford to be on a break for a few weeks.

But the real reason was the boar of the zodiac, who had smashed through yet another door in her excitement to see Kyo and had forced everyone to live upstairs to escape the cold until they could get someone out there to fix it.

Kagura was ballistic around Kyo. She stuck to his arm like rubber glue, cooked for him, took over washing his clothes for Tohru and a heap of other things that she somehow managed to detrimentally screw up and cause more damage to the house. Yuki was just glad she didn't let in anymore cold air; the risk of him having to stay at the main house if Shigure's house got too cold for his bronchial tubes was just too high. He was starting to consider asking Kagura to leave himself. But the worst of it all, was that every time he saw Kagura around Kyo, acid bubbled in his stomach like fire and he wanted to drag Kyo away from the girl, forcibly if the need so arose.

Kyo had lived in his room the first few days, but after Kagura had calmed down he had started appearing more and more downstairs like a frightened alley cat. After a week, Kagura was loud, but she wasn't violent anymore. Kyo yelled at her when she grabbed onto him, but Yuki could see him starting to put up with more and more, and he wanted nothing but to slap Kyo across the face and knock some sense into him, and then to slap Kagura for good measure and to relieve the stress she kept building up in him every time she clung to Kyo.

Yuki walked slowly up the stairs, calmly tuning out Kyo snarling at Kagura downstairs for her never leaving him alone. His skin crawled when he saw her draped over the cat, and after ten minutes of Kagura calling him, "Love," Yuki finally said enough and left, ignoring Kyo's pathetic and helpless look. The idiot deserved it for never really pushing her away. He knew that wasn't true, but he was too mad right now to care.

He paused, looking in through Tohru's open door to see her sitting on the floor, holding something in her hands.

"Miss Honda?" he stepped in carefully, not wanting to disturb her. This wasn't the first time he had caught her so distracted.

"Oh!" she jumped, clutching the thing in her hands—a hair tie with a small cluster of beads on it—to her chest before she tried to shove it away without him seeing it. "Oh, Yuki! I'm sorry; I didn't hear you come in! Are you hungry? Kyo probably is, but Kagura will want to make him dinner—oh, but of course I can start on yours!" she jumped up, trying to dash by him to the kitchen.

Yuki winced as he watched her go. Of course she was upset. Was he stupid? She was in love with the cat of the zodiac; of course another woman cooking for him would upset her.

Yuki bit into his lip sharply before continuing to his own room. Something inside him—something he desperately wanted to trample and shove, beaten, into a corner—kept asking if he could do that to Tohru.

Can I really take Kyo away from her? She doesn't deserve that, not after everything she's done for this family and everything she's been through. Besides, it would be dangerous for both Kyo and I if we were together, not to mention that Tohru would probably get kicked out if anyone found out.

No. No one will find out. But still… she lost her father and her mother… I can't take Kyo away from her too. She's the one who helped us both to open ourselves to the world. Without her, nothing would have changed and Kyo and I would still be trying to kill each other every chance we got. She deserves to be happy, and I know Kyo's happy with her. It's obvious to see that.

He couldn't explain the bile on the back of his tongue, but he quickly swallowed the taste. It didn't matter anyways; he and Kyo didn't have a chance. With Tohru, at least Kyo could still be happy. Yuki could grow old alone; Akito had always wanted him for herself anyways. There was no sense in trying for something that wasn't available to him.

And Tohru, poor Tohru hadn't looked happy since Kagura got here, not unless the boar wasn't doting over Kyo at that moment. She must feel lonely, being the only girl in the house most of the times, and the only one who wasn't cursed to know of the curse. Yuki could understand the feeling of being totally alone; he didn't know if he could take Kyo away from her.

XXX

Exactly three days after Christmas, exactly three days after Kagura left, exactly three days after Tohru finally looked happy again, exactly three days after Yuki had finally decided to talk to Kyo for the first time in two weeks, Akito called.

Yuki's hands were clenched, his fingers wound in themselves to the point where they were so numb he wasn't sure if they were getting any blood at all, but that wasn't what his mind was focused on. Actually, he wished his mind wasn't so occupied so he could actually tell if he needed to release his finger lest they fall off or if they could survive another ten minutes. Akito rarely kept him long for tea, it was the other visits, the "friendly" visits where Akito just wanted to talk, that scared him so much it was a miracle he got his tongue to move to answer Akito's questions.

"So, Yuki," her long, cold voice drawled from behind her cup, the steam from the tea very visible in the cold room. Yuki would have thought it would be warmer because she was so sick, but she knew about his asthma, it could have been just to unnerve him more. It was working. Already his breathing was more grating than normal, even when he was here in the main house normally.

"How has everyone at Shigure's been? I'm sorry I haven't been out to see you all recently, I'm afraid haven't been very well as of late."

Yuki barely managed a nod, his fingers clenched tighter in his lap. "Everyone has been fine," he choked out, amazed it was audible.

"And how is Tohru, now that it's almost the New Year?"

Yuki swallowed, keeping the movement to a bare minimum. The only thing he could think of every time Akito asked about Tohru was Hatori and Kanna. He had to keep everything said about her minimal and quiet, no emotions, no events, no trips, nothing funny, none of her jokes or cooking or smiles. He also knew that it was extremely dangerous to mention any of the Sohmas while talking about her.

"She's doing fine, she's been helping with the school festival coming up in the spring."

"Ah," Akito nodded before her shoulders suddenly quivered with silent chuckling. "Why are you so tense, Yuki?"

Yuki froze, not allowing himself to blink or breathe as he tried desperately to come up with a plausible excuse before Akito turned slowly to look out the window.

"Don't worry."

Yuki blinked, looking up to the black eyes staring out the window to some unseen thing, a faint smile on her lips.

A smile that made ice shoot up Yuki's spine.

"The cat won't be around for long," Akito finally said, though Yuki wasn't sure if it was directed to him or if Akito was just talking to herself. "You won't have to fight for Tohru."

Yuki's mouth ran dry, and he carefully picked up his tea and sipped at it, praying to god that his hand would stop shaking long enough to keep the tea from spilling. What did she mean? Where was Kyo going?

His eyes were still frozen watching hers, watching the excited and sadistic emotions flash behind their depths, and he knew that whatever it was, wherever it was that Kyo was going, was nowhere good.

Later

Yuki closed the door behind him, the movement so slow he was sure he let out almost half of the heat in the house, but he could even feel the cold wind running over his cheeks, uncovered because he hadn't been focused enough to wrap the scarf over his mouth. He wasn't even sure if his breathing was rough or not.

Yuki slipped off his coat and missed the hanger as he went to hang it up and it fell to a crumpled heap on the ground.

"Oh! Welcome back, Yuki!" Tohru said happily, her head popping into view from around the corner. She blinked curiously when he just walked by her, like he hadn't even seen her, and then cocked her head, perplexed, when she saw his coat on the floor.

Yuki stumbled into the kitchen, only half aware of what he was doing. Shigure at least knew not to say anything this time as he watched from his study door. Yuki picked up a pair of chopsticks on the counter and started nibbling at the rice, his breathing already easier.

He set them down shakily, though it was much more like dropping them, and turned to start up the stairs. Kyo appeared in the doorway in front of his and Yuki quickly ducked his head, keeping his eyes to the floor. If nothing else, Kyo couldn't know that anything was wrong. He didn't want to scare Kyo before he even knew what was going on.

"Uh, Yuki, dinner is almost ready…" Tohru said slowly.

He forced his eyes away from the wood, managing to make his lips form a smile. "Thank you Miss Honda, but I'm not very hungry now."

Yuki almost tripped three times up the stairs, keeping his hand on the wall so he could stay a safe distance away from it; he didn't need to walk into a corner and freak everyone out more. He was almost to his door when a hand on his arm stopped him, and he turned to find Kyo staring at him. Somehow, that worried face reassured him, along with the questioning eyes asking him wordlessly if he was all right. It reminded him that he was still here. They were both still here.

"Don't worry. The cat won't be around for long."

Yuki's brow furrowed and he looked around quickly before grabbing Kyo's wrist and pulling him into his room. He closed his door with his foot and yanked Kyo into a tight hug, holding the cat as close as possible with both of their heads buried in each other's necks, breathing in each other's auras. Kyo wasn't gone. He was here. He was safe. He was fine.

It felt so amazing to hold him after weeks of not even being able to even look in each other's eyes without risk of suspicion from everyone else in the house.

"I'll tell you when I figure it out," he whispered into Kyo's shoulder, hoping the cat wouldn't pursue it. Akito despised Kyo so much; he couldn't tell him he was worried about something concerning him after coming back from the main house.

He wasn't even sure why what Akito said had shook him so much, but he knew that whatever Akito meant, it was bad.

It was amazing how relaxed he felt all of a sudden. He could breathe like he was on an oxygen tank, like there wasn't cold weather outside. It was one of the first times in forever that he felt this relaxed, and unconsciously his arms tightened around Kyo.

It felt like he belonged, something he'd never really felt before.

…He really needed Kyo, didn't he?

Two Days Later

Yuki yawned, pushing his hands deeper into his pockets as he trudged home. Another long day after student council; he would have to do something about the hours he spent there. The back of his neck prickled again, for the third time since he'd turned off of the road from the school, and he snuck a glance over his shoulder to find a group of eight men behind him. He dismissed it and turned back to the road, unconsciously walking faster as his neck prickled again. What was going on?

XXX

Kyo jolted, setting down his chopsticks as the feeling almost made him sick all over the table. He closed his eyes and squeezed his hand into a fist, waiting until the feeling passed before he looked up, bracing himself for Tohru's worry.

"Was the food bad?" she launched into an apology the second he was looking at her, but he couldn't even get his tongue to form the words even though his mouth was open.

His head was pounding all of a sudden, and this feeling of… just deserves was about to make him hurl. Even Shigure looked nervous now.

It was the cat. The sprit of the cat, and it was happy like Kyo had never felt it before. It honestly scared him how happy the cat was, because the feelings were leaking into him and making him happy. Sadistically happy. Like the cat was going to get what it had been owed years ago.

XXX

Yuki knew he looked like a girl sometimes. With the long coat and the scarf for his asthma, he must have looked like a girl from behind. He was walking a lot faster now, the group had been behind him for a while now and something inside of him was terrified for him. Telling him to run.

It was ridiculous, he didn't have to run and he couldn't anyway unless he wanted to give himself an asthma attack. He was too far away from home and running the whole way would make him pass out. This winter had been particularly bad ever since the visit to Akito. What she had said about Kyo being gone soon… it scared him almost as much as something inside him was now.

XXX

"Kyo, are you ok?" Tohru tried again, getting onto her knees just incase she needed to help him.

Kyo shook his head, staggering up from the table. The cat was so happy, screaming and yowling in his head about how it was finally here, about how its time had finally come.

"I… I need… I'll be … I need some air…" Kyo said slowly, dashing out of the dining room. He needed to go. He had to go. He didn't know why or where, but the cat was just too happy. The spirit of the cat had never once in all of the years he'd lived been happy.

Kyo grabbed his coat, barely sure of what he was doing, and raced out the door, so distracted he left it open behind him. He just… needed to go. There was somewhere…

XXX

Yuki lashed out at the first hand on his arm, catching the man right across the jaw, but the others immediately grabbed his coat. Yuki dragged his feet, throwing as many punches and kicks as he could, but it was still eight against him, and his asthma was only hurting things. It only took him a second to realize that they were dragging him to an alley to their left and he started thrashing more against them.

Yuki braced himself to tear his arms out of their grips when the guy he had punched first got up off the ground and roughly yanked his scarf down.

The shock took a moment to register on his face, but not long before he bellowed, "He's a fucking guy!"

Yuki let himself breathe. Now they would only rob him, maybe he could get away if he fought hard enough, but he wasn't sure if he could get home after that because of his breathing. It would be easier to just give them—

"Who cares? You can never find a fucking virgin girl anyways and I'm tired of walking around."

Yuki froze, and then someone reached for the buttons on his coat and Yuki nearly broke his back as he violently launched himself back, trying to tear himself out of their grips. His fist caught someone else across the cheek and he didn't stop there, kicking another two in the gut and the knee before they could really react to what he had done. He couldn't breathe. They were too close. Someone's knee caught his hip and his vision flashed black for a moment and Akito was standing in front of him, smiling and holding a bottle she had broken by smashing it on his hip. She would have hit his head but he had dove out of the way at the last second.

A strangled gasp rolled off of Yuki's tongue and he smashed his hand into someone else's jaw. He didn't know how many were left, he couldn't think clearly enough to even begin to count. He just had to get them away.

A hand suddenly grabbed his hair and wrenched him to the side, his head cracking against the side of the brick building. The world spun and Yuki slid to the ground, his hand scraping against the wall as the bricks whirled in front of him.

Akito flashed behind his eyes again and Yuki curled in on himself. The alley was dark and they were standing too close to him, his chest was tight, his head was throbbing, he couldn't breathe, he couldn't move. It was like being in one of Akito's rooms. Yuki swallowed, unable to do anything else as hands started yanking on his hair and coat, and tried to will himself not to feel anything.

And then all of a sudden the hands were gone. Yuki inwardly heard some trashcans being knocked over, but all he could do was press his throbbing forehead into the cold brick. He wasn't even sure if he was really breathing now.

"Yuki?"

Yuki tipped his head up slowly, and the bright orange was the first thing that caught his eye. It was like fire in the dark alley, bright and warm, and already he could breathe easier.

Yuki froze as one of the men appeared over Kyo's shoulder, sporting a very large bruise on his face Yuki knew Kyo had given him, but there was no air in his lungs and he couldn't tell Kyo to move before the man's foot connected with the cat's cheek, sending him flying.

Yuki saw red. His body was moving before Kyo had even his the ground and he launched himself at the man, smashing him back into the wall behind him and watching how he slumped to the ground. All of the others were out cold; Kyo had taken care of that.

Yuki dropped to the ground as Kyo sat up and grabbed the back of the cat's neck, pressing their foreheads together as one of Kyo's hands moved to hold the back of his neck. This was better than a kiss. They could feel each other's breath on their cheeks; they were both alive and fine.

Next Day

Yuki stepped silently down the stairs, checking carefully to make sure neither Tohru nor Shigure were around before he continued into the kitchen where Kyo was sitting at the table, eating a mid-afternoon snack.

Everyone had been wondering how Yuki got the obnoxiously large scrape on his forehead. Only he and Kyo knew that if anyone looked in the alley where Yuki had been thrown into the wall, they would find a smear of blood on the brick. Whether they had voiced it or not, Yuki knew everyone was curious because it wasn't often that anyone besides Akito left bruises on him, let alone actually made him bleed. People also didn't have to actually ask him what had happened for him to know that they were all wondering if Kyo had actually landed a hit on him.

Kyo looked up as Yuki sat down next to him, his eyes questioning. It was too dangerous for either of them to ask if the other was all right, because if anyone heard…

Yuki bit the inside of his lip, keeping his eyes to the ground as he reached into his pocket, drew out a white valerian, and set it on the table in front of Kyo. It was supposed to be like the catnip, he'd heard cats liked the smell.

Yuki shrugged as Kyo stared at it. "Thanks… for yesterday," he whispered so no one would hear.

"I'm not a girl," Kyo snapped softly, but he picked up the flower anyway, holding it delicately between two fingers as he twisted it, making the petals spin.

"…Smells good," he said softly, looking back into Yuki's eyes. Yuki just nodded, understanding that they couldn't get any closer even if both of them wanted to. "…About tomorrow—"

"I know," Yuki cut him off. He knew. Tomorrow would be hell on both of them.

New Year's Day.

Next Day

The room was almost silent though fourteen people were scattered around in it. Momiji, of course, was chattering away happily to Kisa, and Hiro would throw in something occasionally, but even though Shigure, Hatori and Ayame were all in the same room, they had barely said anything to each other, or anyone else for that matter.

Slowly, Akito sat up straighter and set her tea down, instantly everyone was just a little more alert and a little more on edge.

"Yuki," she said, making his spine freeze in painful ways, "how have things progressed with Tohru? She hasn't been brought by the Main House recently and I haven't been hearing much of her."

Yuki felt his throat go dry, wondering how many of the other zodiac members had been asked about Tohru and what they had said. Any wrong word and Tohru was gone.

Yuki took a deep breath, wondering what she wanted to hear. He noticed that she kept glancing at Kyo, standing with his back to everyone at the window, so he took another breath and hoped that this was what she wanted to hear, "I would like things to, even though nothing has yet."

Yuki let himself relaxed as nothing in Akito's eyes or stance changed. That was what she wanted to hear. Everyone else looked a little shocked; but not surprised by what he said, just shocked that he would say it to Akito, especially after Kanna. It seemed that Akito wasn't the only one who thought Yuki was in love with Tohru.

Yuki watched as Kyo got steadily stiffer as no one's eyes left him, and then all at once Kyo turned and left the room without looking back to make sure he hadn't set off Akito.

Yuki quickly glanced to Akito to make sure she wasn't about to go ballistic from what she would consider rude, but she was only glaring after the cat, her position still relaxed. Yuki couldn't tell what the glare was for, but it didn't seem to be about the fact that Kyo had just left.

Later

Later, a lot later to be safe from suspicions, Yuki made up the first excuse for fresh air that he could—something to do with his asthma, he didn't remember—slipped on his coat and calmly stepped out into the dusting of snow.

His eyes scanned the trees, bushes and wall around the Main House as he walked, trying to pick Kyo out.

Yuki felt a light smile touch his lips as he spotted the fiery orange hair through the trees, and thank god for his hair because Kyo's old coat blended in perfectly with the trees. Yuki was just glad Kyo hadn't gone home.

Kyo lifted his head from where he was leaning against the tree to follow Yuki with his eyes as the rat stepped into the trees after him and moved to stand in front of him.

Neither spoke, not really looking at anything in particular, before Kyo finally shifted, drawing Yuki's eyes up to him as he spoke.

"I was thinking…" Kyo begin slowly, half shrugging as he looked at the ground, his hands still in his pockets, "should we tell Tohru about us? She could help us…"

Yuki shook his head, stepping closer to Kyo. "We can't ask her to do that; it's too much. Besides, it would put her in danger if Akito ever found out."

Kyo just nodded after a moment and Yuki felt something inside him break. They both knew the dangers in this, and they both knew that they might have to hide this for years, and even have to pretend to themselves that nothing had happened to keep it a secret. He had kissed the cat of the zodiac. Unforgivable. But to Kyo, it was a sin punishable only by something akin to death in Akito's eyes. Carefully, his hand reached out and two of his fingers brushed against Kyo's arm. Kyo looked up and Yuki just cocked his head slightly, letting the tiny smile back on his lips, telling him wordlessly that they would figure something out.

Something moved in to the side of Yuki's gaze, and his eyes flicked to the right curiously. Yuki froze, the smile falling off his lips as his mouth fell open with a small pop. His eyes went as wide as the moon and his lungs wouldn't take in any air as he took a step back from Kyo, his hand dropping back to his side.

Kyo pushed away from the tree, unsure if he should reach out to the rat. Something was wrong; he knew that just by looking at the terror in Yuki's eyes.

Yuki took another frantic step backward, and just as Kyo turned his head to the side, out of nowhere Akito appeared in front of Kyo and punched Yuki across the face hard enough to knock him flying into the tree behind him. Kyo could only watch as the rat's forehead hit the tree with a solid crack and he slid to the ground, his eyes open and glazed over as he lay in the snow.

Kyo reached toward Yuki—his instant reaction as blood started to soak the snow—and Akito slapped him across the face hard enough to send him stumbling backwards with a shriek. She lunged forward and grabbed him by his hair, wrenching him to the side where he sliced his palm open on a rock as he hit the ground.

Everyone was watching from the porch, but no one could work up the courage to go over to Yuki. Akito was standing above Kyo, her hands shaking with how livid she was—so furious that she couldn't even hit Kyo. Haru stepped back slowly, making sure Akito didn't turn on him before he looked to Hatori, who gave him a quick nod and he ran for the phone.

The last thing Yuki saw before his vision totally blurred over was the snow around him going red and Kyo staring at him with horror in his eyes, his hand bleeding where the rock cut him and his muscles twitching with his need to do something, but Akito's furry was holding him in place.

No. Don't help me. She'll kill you.

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