Wolfgal: Are we gonna do this? I would rather like to see Larten either 'pop, lock, and drop it,' or tap dance. Either way, I am happy. :)
Cookie: *Pops in with Evra chewing on a cookie* I could've sworn that we were going to kill Debbie... And I would rather not watch if Larten plans in 'pop, locking, and dropping it'...
whatever 'it' is I don't want to know...
Heatha: I'm all for it... Ready?
Cookie: NOOOOO! EVRA HIDE YOUR EYES!
Wolfgal: Bring it on! This is the coolest moment of my Internet life!
Heatha: Wait, Larten 'pop, locking, and dropping it' or killing Debbie?
Wolfgal: Larten can do it after we kill Debbie. Killing her is entertaining.
Mika: Ummm, well we will see... Perhaps.
Wofgal: Hey Mika, you can do it too. Heatha would be verry happy! :*
Heatha: *Embarrassed* ….Maybe...
Mika: She has to much fun with Jello...
Heatha: MIKA SHHHHH!
Wolfgal:*brings in Larten, then glomps him doing rabid fangirl scream* Ah! This makes me happy, indeed!
Seba: ARE WE HAVING A HUGGING CONTEST! YAY! *Glomps Mika, who reacts quite harshly*
Darren: I'M SO SCARED!
Wolfgal: ITS OKAY! I'M HERE FOR YOU! *releases Larten to glomp Darren.*
Larten: *Hyperventalates* finally! AIR!
Cookie: Hmmm, off to kill Debbie we go! *snaps fingers and we all land, quite violently, in the middle of Debbie Hemlock's living room*
Darren: *falls over* ECK! I FELL!
Debbie:... WHO ARE YOU PEOPLE!... Hi Darren *Attacks darren quite prostitute-ishly*
Heatha: *Cough cough* Umm, okay then. Hi Debbie.
Debbie: HOW DO YOU KNOW MY NAME! *Still hanging all over Darren*
Mika: Ummmmmm, this is awkward...
Wolfgal: Get away from my adopted vampiric step son you *has been edited for viewer purposes.*
Cookie: DARREN! NOOOO!
Darren: Uhm, I feel quite awkward in this , could you get off? *Tries and fails to pry Debbie off of him*
Debbie: BUT I NEED YOU!
Wolfgal: And I NEED you, Debbie! I KNEED you in the FACE!
Seba: Earlier 'pop, locking, and dropping' something was mentioned. I don't understand what that is.
Debbie: I KNOW! *pops, locks, and drops all up on Darren*
Darren: WHAT ARE YOU DOING!
Debbie: Don't pretend you don't like it!
Darren: I'M NOT PRETENDING!
Cookie: GET YOUR FILTHY HANDS OFF HIM! *makes Debbie fly across the room*
Larten: I think that...dance...looks interesting. Wolfgal, will you teach me?
Wolgal: *eagerly teaches the PLD dance to Larten. Larten looks happy*
Cookie: LARTEN! I DON'T THINK YOU ARE QUITE RATIONAL RIGHT NOW!
Wolfgal: But he is quite good at it!
Cookie: Well I'm quite good at kicking puppies but does that mean I should do it! Noooo!
Evra: Uhm... Seba! Tell your assistant that he should stop what he's doing!
Seba: *To busy attempting to pop lock and drop*
Cookie: SEBA! NO! YOU'RE TOO OLD FOR THAT STUFF! YOU'RE GONNA BREAK SOMETHING!
Wolfgal: ENOUGH! We shall save it for after we kill Debbie. Who wants the honors and how shall we do it?
Cookie: Hmm, we could always snap her neck. Because there was someone else who's neck got snapped and she didn't do anything! WHY DIDN'T YOU HELP SHANCUS! *crys and leaps at Debbie's neck*
Wolfgal: Cookie, you do know that being a daughter of a certain child eater lets you bring back dead people...right?
Cookie: *pauses in mid-air* REALLY! but he won't be a little person right?
Wolfgal: No... but can you bring back Steve so we can kill him again? That would make Larten happy.
Heatha: That seems totally irrelevant...
Cookie: Let's being Shancus back! *Shancus magically appears*
Evra+Cookie: YOU'RE BACK! *Hug Shancus with tears of joy*
*Heatha pulls an A-K47 out of nowhere and shoots Debbie..*
Heatha: Nobody else would do it... so... She's dead...
Cookie: I would have done it... BUT THEN SHANCUS CAME BACK!
Wolgal: Should we rekill Steve, or should I make them wait for my fic, "REVENGE OF THE CRAZY CREPSLEY FANGIRLS"? we could do both...*smiles innocently while sharpining knives*
Cookie: I think that they should just wait for the fic
Wolfgal: mmmtay, * starts crying so Larten goes to comfort her*
Shancus: Momma, I love you!
Cookie: YES! MY SON LOVES ME! even though Merla gave birth to him but she was deemed an unfit mom/wife so I took her place!
Evra: Umm, Shancus, you know that she's not actually your real momma, right?
Shancus: WHAT! *starts to cry*
Cookie: *Hugs Shancus* It's okay Shancus! Your daddy is just confused! *whispers to Evra* Let him think what he wants!
Evra: *sigh* fine.
Cookie: *smile*
Wolfgal: Evra, the reason cookie got rid of Merla was because her name was too similar to MERLOUGH! You know, the bad man Larten saved you from? Shancus, it will be okay. Cookie is a good person, and even Darren is adopted!
Shancus: Yay! *hugs cookie*
Cookie: Awh! You're so cute Shancus! *Hugs back* Evra, don't curl up in a ball again! It's okay! I won't let the mean purple man hurt you *Comforts Evra*
Evra: WE AREN'T SUPPOSED TO SAY THAT NAME WOLFGAL!
Cookie: Shh, it's okay! Go to your happy place Evra, just go to your happy place. *pats Evra on the back*
Wolfgal: I'M SOOOO SORRY! I think your scars are manly! Ask Larten! How do you think I felt when he died? *Sobs some more*
Cookie: Hey! Those manly scars belong to Cookie and Cookie alone! *Hisses and hovers over Evra protectivly*
Wolfgal: I meant that in a friendly way! He is yours HE is just my adoptive stepson's adoptive brother! *Now sobs harder*
Cookie: Ohh, that's okay then! And don't cry!
Larten:: You made my future mate cry! HOW DARE YOU!
Cookie: How dare I? I dare like this, *flicks Larten between the eyes*
Larten: AUGH!
Wolfgal: Do you wanna go on the list of people I must smack? Right below STEVE? *GROWLS*
Cookie: not particularly, but now I've proven to Larten that you're perfectly okay.
Wolfgal: Not nice! I let you bring your son back!
Cookie: True and I thank you for that but when ever you speak that way to a 'spawn of Destiny' you are pretty much asking to get flicked... or worse.
Heatha: Hey now... Let's not get carried away here...
Wolfgal: SO YOU ADMIT YOU ARE HIS SPAWN!
Cookie: no, it's just that your lover vamp called me that. Which wasn't very nice of him...
Heatha: OKAY WE NEED AN INTERVENTION HERE! DON'T MAKE ME CALL A THERAPIST!
Mika: Please don't make her angry... She takes it out on me often.
Cookie: *GASP* YOU'RE AN ABUSIVE LOVER HEATHA! THAT'S NOT GOOD! MIKA IS VERY FRAGILE YOU CAN'T JUST TAKE YOUR ANGER OUT ON HIM!
Mika: I'm... Fragile?
Heatha: He's only fragile to you, because you like to drop him like he's on fire, which now that I think about it, sounds bad...
Cookie: Would you rather have me say that I dropped him like he was hot? Cause I think that would have led to much worse things.
Wolfgal: TIME OUT!
Heatha:...*Sigh*
Cookie: Point proven *Smile*
Heatha: Time out corners don't work on her... She likes writing on the walls in her own blood.
Cookie: Hey! I already have been to therapy for that! There's no reason to bring it up now!
Wolfgal: I'm taking this to MAURY! You can get a paternity test, and Mika can get council for being the object of Kurda's comming out of the closet!
Heatha: I don't think paternity tests work on people who aren't technically people...
Mika: I'm Kurda's WHAT NOW!l
Wolfgal: He wants you to be his gay lover.
Heatha: *glaring at Kurda* Oh NO you DIDN'T!
Mika: *Goes to kill Kurda who arms himself with a blow dryer* *Mika slashes the blow dryer with his sword, and Kurda starts crying.*
Darren: Okay, Mika, that was kind of harsh.
Harkat: Just a little...
Heatha: I saw no problem with it -_-
Kurda: *sobbing* NANCY!
Wolfgal: *gasps* did he just call Mika a nancy boy?
Seba: WHO'S NANCY?
Kurda: My blow dryer! But she was MORE then just a blow dryer!
Cookie: Was she your blow dryer with benefits?
Wolfgal: *laughs histaricaly with Larten* This is better than pay per view!
Seba: What is this paper view you speak of?
Wolfgal: You would call it an abomination , but shall explain any way. You may pick whatever movies or television shows you wish and may watch whatever you want, but must pay to do so.
Seba: THAT ABOMINATION HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH PAPER AT ALL!
Heatha: No, Seba... It's Pay-per-view.
Seba: I do not understand. *sadface*
Cookie: Shh, it's okay Seba. There are many things you'll never understand but that's okay.
Seba: WHAT DON'T I UNDERSTAND!
Cookie: A lot of things. But you will, possibly, understand in time. Then again, you may just become even more confused with time... Who knows! Oh wait... I probably do...
Heatha: You know to much. I think you should share some with Seba, so that he isn't as confused.
Mika: Can you do that?
Heatha: We can do anything.
Darren: *quite innocently*: Can you fly?
*Heatha and Cookie both begin to fly*
Darren:*has heart attack*
Cookie: Oopsie. Someone should help him...
Heatha: I VOTE... EVRA!
Evra: Uhm, what does he need?
Seba: I think the poor boy needs mouth to mouth.
Evra and Cookie: HECK NO!
Darren: *splutters* I'M *gasp* FINE! *cough*
Heatha: Ummmm, you're blue in the face... Oh, no, you're green now. It's all good.
Mika: You hang out with the snake boy and his group too much... Green isn't normal for most people, just so you know.
Heatha: Don't undermine me, Mika Ver Leth.
Darren: PLEASE DON'T START FIGHTING LIKE AN OLD COUPLE AND THEN LEAVE TO GO EAT JELLO AGAIN!
Cookie: I think green's a perfectly normal skin tone. *snaps fingers and grows many green scales* See! Totally normal! And now we match! *links arms with Evra*
Mika: Still, not normal *turns paler then thought possible*
Heatha: Well that isn't either...
Wolfgal: Stop being raciest! Scales are okay for Evra and very pale is okay for Mika! Thats just how it goes!
Cookie: See? Wolfgal knows what's up.
Evra: Uhm... Cookie? I can't feel my arm anymore...
Cookie: Oh! Oops. *lets go of Evra's arm which was turning a strange purple-ish color*
Wolfgal: SEE! I know what's up! Haha!
Heatha: So... What are we going to do now?
Cookie: Uhmmmm... I don't know... MIKA! What should we do!
Mika:... How should I know? If this fanfic was RATIONAL then I'd say we get back to Vampire Mountain like we normally should but this insult to Darren Shan is FAR from rational.
Darren: Wait...who insulted me?
Mika: Not you. The author of the book series we exist in... wait. If we're in a book... How did you even get here? *glares suspiciously*
Cookie: Psh, silly goose we were in this book from the begining! *looks about nervously*
Mika: No you weren't, we would have noticed you.
Heatha: No, you wouldn't have.
Darren: HOW IS THIS POSSIBLE?
Heatha: Well, um, you see, because we are the daughters of Desmond Tiny-
Darren: I thought Mr. Tall said you weren't?
Mr. Tall: It's useless to even try to lie anymore.
Heatha: AS I WAS SAYING-we can, well, um, sort of make ourselves invisible. So, you guys never noticed us.
Cookie: Yea! We're like ninjas!... or chameleons... yea... *Sticks out tongue and turns invisible*
Evra: This could turn out badly...
Seba: *gets poked in forehead by an unseen force* AUGH! WHICH ONE OF YOU ABONIMATIONS DID THAT!
Darren: *raises hand* Wait... what? NOO! I didn't do it! Cookie is making me raise my hand!
Seba: YOU LIAR! *tackles Darren*
Cookie: *turns visible again and giggles* I find this amusing.
Mr. Tiny: How precious! She takes after me! *smiles proudly*
Cookie: Noooo, I love everyone! You... don't. So...yea.
Mr. Tiny: HOW DARE YOU INSULT YOUR FATHER!
Cookie: Like this, YOU'RE A MEANY! AND YOU MADE YOUR CHILDREN ALL INTO COMPLETE WACKOS!
Mr. Tiny: *gasp* YOU DO TAKE AFTER ME! *tears of joy*
Cookie: Ugh... Heatha, our father dosen't understand how child rebellion is supposed to work...
Heatha: See, Cookie, with Da-I mean Tiny, you can't acknowledge his presence. It works better that way.
Mr. Tiny: You can call me Dad, Heatha. Or Father. Mr. Tiny just seems so informal.
Heatha: *Silence, looking at Cookie as if waiting for an answer, like Mr. Tiny had said nothing*
Cookie: But then he'd do something mean like make Vampire Mountain crumble in on itself!
All Residents of VM: NOOOOOOO!
To Be Continued….
Maybe….