Chapter 4
Momma sat shotgun with my .22 in her lap. Our old Volvo station wagon putted along between Daryl Dixon's truck and Shane's Jeep, as we made our way to the CDC. I scanned the road obsessively, an anxious knot twisting my gut as we wound our way along the asphalt.
"Ben and Jerry's." Glenn said. "Hands down."
"Ben and Jerry's?" Momma questioned. "Who raised you boy? Graeter's no questions asked." A smile split my face, memories of competing for finding the biggest chocolate chunk in the Graeter's pints at Christmas dinner dancing through my head. "Go ahead, Jenny. You tell him."
"She's right. It's gonna be Graeter's."
"You ladies are crazy."
We had been discussing food since we ran out of applesauce an hour ago. No one was saying it, but we desperately needed whatever supplies they might have at the CDC.
Ahead of us the RV came to a halt, steam billowing from it's front. I pulled the Volvo up next to Shane. Cautiously, we all got out and approached Dale as he wiped his brow in front of the steaming radiator.
Jaqui appeared from the camper door with a frantic look on her face.
"Y'all, Jim… It's bad. I don't think he can take anymore." She knotted her hands in front of her.
Momma stepped ahead of me and followed her inside, Rick hot on her heels.
Shane piped up suddenly, "I'll drive ahead, see what I can bring back."
T-Dog stepped forward from his place next to Carol. "Yeah, I'll come along too and back you up." Shane nodded and signaled for T to follow him to his Jeep. Once he settled in the driver's seat he looked at us all.
"Y'all keep your eyes open now. We'll be right back." Then he started the vehicle and he and T-Dog disappeared down the road.
Left to our own devices we all found spots to hunker down. I lounged on the hood of my Volvo, my .22 settled next to me. Glenn leaned back against the bumper beside me, humming some sort of off key pop song as he looked around and kept alert.
A hand startled me. Was I asleep? Momma stood next to me looking dead serious.
"Jim wants us to leave him." I sat up abruptly and noticed everyone gathering around Rick on the RV steps. I slid off the hood and walked over with Momma.
Dale was speaking when we join up. "Back in the camp when I said Daryl might be right and you shut me down, you misunderstood. I would never go along with callously killing a man. I was just gonna suggest that we ask Jim what he wants. And I think we have an answer."
"We just leave him here? We take off? Man, I'm not sure I could live with that." I looked to Shane. He was shaking his head as he spoke.
Momma cleared her throat next to me. "It's our job to respect the man's wishes." I looked at her. After our life together the past few years it made sense for her to support this. It put a sour taste in my mouth. "I would hope you would do the same for me and my daughter as well."
Silence gripped us all. I stared at my feet uncomfortable. Momma was a realist. Beneath my cynicism, I am too.
I looked up as Rick resigned himself to agree. He turned to Shane. "Help me carry him out?"
Shane dropped his head and bounced a yes before following Rick in the RV.
Despite their careful movement of Jim, I could hear him groan and wheeze in pain as they carried him to a nearby tree. Jaqui followed them while I stood with Momma and together we watched as they eased him down. Jaqui kissed his cheek and wiped a tear before walking back to us and sitting down on the RV steps. I walked away to give her some privacy, but Momma stayed and sat quietly with her. No words were said as she put a hand on Jaqui's knee.
I grabbed my .22 off the hood of the Volvo and sat by myself in the driver seat, my head leaning on the steering wheel, eyes closed. This world was exhausting and in all honesty genuinely depressing. I always knew life was unfair but shit, this is just starting to feel excessive. I lifted my head as the passenger door opened and Glenn slid in.
"Your mom said to tell you she's gonna stay with Jaqui." I blinked tiredly.
"Sounds good." I said.
"Want me to drive?" He asked.
"I'm fine. Thanks for the offer." I breathed in deeply and started the car, waiting for Shane to get rolling ahead of me. Glenn sat quietly.
"Shoot me."
"I'm sorry?" I looked at him warily.
"Please, if I'm ever bit. Just fucking shoot me." He's stared straight ahead, dead serious.
"I'll promise if you promise to do me in too." I said as I pulled the shifter into drive.
"Deal." He said resolutely and without hesitation. We drove on. The following hours were quiet. Glenn rotated through the old cassette tapes in the glove box, a weird combination of Judas Priest, Prince, Spice Girls, and Johnny Cash. It helped fill the silence.
As the sun began setting, the caravan rolled to a stop. A sign out front signaled we made it to the CDC. We all carefully exited our vehicles. I strapped the heavy assault rifle back on over my shoulder. I met Momma in front of the RV and handed her my .22. Jaqui was despondent next to her. They fell in a group with Carol, Lori, Andrea, Dale and the children. Rick, T-Dog, Daryl and Shane took the front, all with weapons raised. Glenn and I brought up the rear, scanning behind us to make sure nothing thought we're a dinner option.
The bodies surrounded us. They were necrotic and rotten. Flies buzzed our faces. Glenn retched as the breeze wafted the warm stench into our nostrils. I gagged and felt the bile start to rise in my throat. I turned my head and spit to the side.
"Keep it together, keep moving." Shane called quietly in front.
Lori leaned down to Carl and encouraged him along. Rick marched ahead and pounded on the metal gate covering the entrance.
"Nothing?" Shane asked. I looked around anxiously, scanning the scene with the assault rifle up. I moved Glenn and I to stand in front of Momma and the others. Momma had the .22 up and ready to go. She's mostly blind in one eye but it don't stop her from hitting corpses.
Shane took a turn pounding the door. I looked back to watch the bodies on the ground. Daryl paced around like an animal, his crossbow lifted and finger on the trigger.
"There's nobody here!" T-Dog hollered behind me.
"Then why are these shutters down?" Rick called back, pounding on the gate again.
"Walkers!" Daryl yelled, firing his bow and landing one in between the eyes.
Shit. Shit. Shit. My hands sweat, my fingers tightened on the handle. The rifle was loud, I don't want to fire it unless I really have to. I stared down the scope and scanned for another corpse.
"Dixon, 10 o'clock!" I called out. He fired again and brought another one down.
"You led us to a graveyard!" Daryl cried. He stalked closer to Glenn and I with his crossbow raised. I pointed out another moving body to him that I spotted with my scope. He didn't fire yet. Pop. Pop. Momma brought it down with the .22.
"He made a call!" Shane said. Footsteps started to back up toward me. Warm, living, bodies pressed into my back.
"What's the plan?!" I asked. My heartbeat was racing. My eyes skidded across the body littered pavement.
"Where are we gonna go?" Jaqui wailed behind me.
"We can't be here." It was Lori this time. "We can't be this close to the city after dark." More people pressed against me. I started to pant. The stress was suddenly overwhelming. We were all like cornered animals. Don't panic. Act. Don't react. Don't panic.
"Fort Benning is still an option." Shane shouted.
"We'll think of something." Rick answered. I heard more banging on the gate.
"Let's go!" Shane pleaded. "Let's get out of here. It's lost!" My eyes swept the area frantically. Glenn shifted next to me. I saw the barrel of the .22 out of the corner of my eye.
"I know you're in there! I know you can hear me!" Ricks was nearly sobbing.
This was what desperation feels like.
"Rick. There's nobody here." Lori consoled him.
"Please help us! You're killing us! You're killing us!" Rick continued. More banging on the gate.
Suddenly a lurch of gears, a whine of pulleys, the shuttered gate slowly started to open behind me.
"Daryl and Jenny, you cover the back!" Shane shouted. I pulled the assault rifle up level with my eye and moved it side to side. The pressure on my back released as whomever was against me stepped towards the open door.
Someone tapped my shoulder and I spun around to follow the small swarm of people running inside.
"Hello? Hello!" Rick called out as I lurched inside the doors.
I stopped abruptly at the sound of a weapon cocking in front of us.
"Anybody infected?" A man approached us in a t-shirt and slacks; a very large and very intimidating military grade automatic weapon in his hands. Rick stepped forward to answer him.
"One of us was. He didn't make it." Silence all around. Poor Jim.
"Why are you here? What do you want?" Demanded the stranger.
"A chance." Rick pleaded. The stranger took a beat to consider the request. My arms started to twitch from continuing to grip my heavy rifle. Glenn shuffled his feet anxiously in front of me. I don't think I was breathing.
"That's asking an awful lot these days." The stranger responded.
Rick bobbed his head. "I know."
"You all submit to a blood test." The man looked around at us all, taking stock of our condition. He lowered his gun and gestured towards the door behind him. "You got stuff to bring in, you do it now. Once this door closes it stays closed."
"We can do that." Rick affirmed. In a breath we all rushed forward into the light.
I was too exhausted to be leery of the doctor's ("Dr. Edwin Jenner", apparently) choice of weapon. We shuffled through the blood draws in a daze, fatigue and hunger becoming all consuming. I held on to Momma's arm as we headed towards a large commercial kitchen.
"Think he's got cheese grits in there?" Momma quietly murmured to me.
"Don't matter none, I only eat yours." I replied. I sat down with Momma at the table while Dr. Jenner maneuvered around the kitchen with Carol and Jaqui getting dinner ready. Glenn and the others joined us at the table. Sophia seated herself close to where Carol was cooking. Carl leaned against Lori, his eyes drifting closed as he fought off sleep.
"Pasta alright with everyone?" Jenner called to us.
"Pretty sure I'd eat dog food right now." Glenn called back.
"I wouldn't." Carl piped up. "Dog food tastes gross." A few chuckles bubbled up around the table.
"Yeah little man? How would you know?" T-Dog asked, a large smile splitting his face. Carl grinned in response.
"I've got wine," Jenner started, "but you might want to wait until you've got some food in you."
"Wine?" Andrea asked, looking around.
"There is a god!" Cried Momma.
Twenty minutes later the table was spread with a bounty of spaghetti and Wonder bread with glasses of wine and other assorted booze in front of everybody.
"You know, in Italy, children have a little bit of wine with dinner. And in France." Dale said from next to Momma.
"Well, when Carl is in Italy or France, he can have some then." Lori chided.
"What's it gonna hurt?" Rick pressed as Dale and Momma laughed along.
"My Jenny's been sippin moonshine since she could walk. She turned out just fine" Momma shared.
"Momma!" I shouted with a grin. "You gonna make these nice folks think you were raising some little bootlegger feral child."
"'S'plains a lot." Daryl said with a grin.
"You would know, hillbilly!" I retorted.
"What do you think your daddy grew all that corn for baby girl?" Momma asked with a cheeky smile. Dale grinned broadly at us both. Glenn erupted in laughter.
"Momma!" It felt good to laugh. Dale handed Carl a glass with a bit of wine in it. The chatter stilled as he took a sip.
"Ewwww" Carl grimaced. The table lit up with laughter and babble once again. Across from me Daryl was egging Glenn on.
"Keep drinking little man. I wanna see how red your face can get!" Daryl said while pushing the wine bottle closer to Glenn. Glenn groaned and took a big swig straight from the bottle.
It didn't take long before the wine seeped into all our veins and the conversation turned to low mutters. My limbs felt heavy and I knew my eyelids were starting to droop. A pleasant buzz circled my head as I sipped another glass.
"So doc," Shane started, staring down into his glass. I stretched up from my slump at his tone. "So when are you gonna tell us what the hell happened here? All the - the other doctors that were supposed to be figuring out what happened, where are they?"
Rick frowned at him. "We're celebrating, Shane. Let's not do this now."
"This is why we're here, right?" Shane barged on. "This was your move—supposed to find all the answers. Instead we found him!" He pointed an accusatory finger at Jenner.
I shifted uncomfortably next to Momma. Couldn't we save this for the morning?
"Well," Jenner started, "When things got bad, a lot of people just left, went off to be with their families. And when things got worse, when the military cordon got overrun…the rest bolted."
"Every last one?" Shane pushed.
"Many…they…opted out. There was a rash of suicides. It was a bad time." Jenner finished, staring down at his hands.
Silence.
"Dude, you are such a buzz kill, man." Glenn said, utterly exasperated (and not a little tipsy).
Silence.
"…is there a restroom anywhere?" I looked at Jenner hopefully. Everyone sat still.
"Yes, yes of course. Let me show you all around." Jenner replied.
The pressure broke, Dale and Momma started a low conversation next to me while clearing their plates. Daryl and Glenn continued to drink from the bottles while the rest of the group picked at the remainder of their suppers.
Back at my farm I like to think I lived a simple life. I survived off my income from the farmer's markets and adjunct teaching at the university. I didn't spend on extravagance. My time off was spent camping or otherwise travelling cheaply, hostels, backpacking, etc. So when the world went to shit and we lost simple things like hot water, and soft beds, I wasn't completely put out. It was fine, I had done worse. Growing up we often chose to wash up in the outdoor shower in the summer, the lack of hot water actually a blessing in the hot Georgia sun.
But the shower that night, in that claustrophobic little cubicle, with 4 whole minutes of hot water, was positively blissful. The heat soothed my aches from the week's labor. I stood under the water with my arms braced against the wall, letting the pressure massage the knots along the top of my shoulders. I could have died in that shower and been perfectly happy with my ending.
Momma and I had bunked up in offices next to each other with Dale, Glenn, and Andrea adjacent to us. After my clean up, I put on fresh clothes (further compounding the bliss level) and wandered into Momma's room next door. Momma was sitting on the little couch next to Dale, a somber look on both their faces.
"Everything OK in here?" I inquired. Momma smiled at me and patted Dale's hand.
"Dale was just worried about Andrea. Sounds like she's had a bit too much to drink." Momma replied. I looked between the two of them, noticing their hands were now interlaced. I crossed my arms and leaned against the little desk across from them.
"I imagine losing Amy is weighin' pretty heavy on her." I responded, feeling a bit awkward with the closeness between Momma and Dale.
"She's feeling pretty hopeless," Dale started with a sigh, "I found her getting sick in her bathroom. She was pretty hung up on everything being pointless."
"You think she might hurt herself?" I asked, looking up at Dale and tossing a glance at Momma. Her face was tight with concern as she looked sideways at Dale and placed her other hand on top of their clasped ones.
"I don't know. Don't think so much that, more like if the opportunity arose she might…I don't know…" He let the sentence drift off. "Either way, she kicked me out, I doubt she'd open the door for me to check on her." I nodded.
"I'll look in on her in a bit. I'm sure it was just the wine talking." I offered.
"Thanks Jenny." Dale said. "It's important we all keep looking out for each other." I nodded in return and pushed off from the desk.
"Well, I'm gonna go take a wander then get to bed. You two…staying up for a bit?" I couldn't help but notice Momma hadn't let go of Dale's hand.
"I'm gonna hit the hay I think." Momma answered, "It's been a long day."
"Been a long couple months!" Dale supplied, a twinkle in his eye (that I hoped was just from the wine) as he looked at Momma and squeezed her hands. I needed to get out of here, fast.
"Right, well…Goodnight Momma." I leaned over and gave her a kiss on the cheek. Her hands came up to squeeze my shoulders.
"Goodnight, babygirl."
I looked to Dale and gave him a nod. He and Momma looked like two teenagers sitting there with their hands now on their own knees. "Night, Dale," I said.
"Goodnight, Jenny." He nodded back. I stood there awkwardly for a moment, just glancing back and forth between the two.
"Right." I mumbled, and stepped out the door, pulling it shut quietly behind me.
Ahead of me stood Andrea's door. I don't know if I would go as far as to call Andrea and I friends, but we were in the very least friendly. I definitely didn't wish ill upon her. And I'm sure we'd be best friends in a month or two if Momma took it upon herself to interfere. Momma had already worked her way into the hearts of Carol and Lori, I was sure it was only a matter of time before she branched out some more and dragged me along with her. I eyed the door as I turned down the corridor, making note to look in on her on my way back to bed. My feet pulled me in the direction of the kitchen, hoping for a glass of water to help wash down the wine from earlier.
Or maybe a glass of wine and then a glass of water.
A door softly opening to my side caused me to pause. Daryl came shuffling out, a bottle of Jack in one hand and a pack of cigarettes in the other. His hair was damp like mine and he wore clean clothes too, apparently everyone had enjoyed the hot water tonight. I raised an eyebrow at him. I had stupidly assumed everyone had turned in for the night.
"What?" He ground out, his eyes narrowed.
"Nothing." I said, a placid look on my face. I rocked back on my heels a moment and sucked my teeth. He closed the door behind him as quietly as he had opened it and stepped fully into the hallway next to me. He shifted uncomfortably, as if considering something.
"Where you headed?" He finally asked, his voice quiet and rough, his face still narrow with suspicion.
"Kitchen, you?"
"Kitchen." He took a swig of the Jack. If he was as drunk as the half empty bottle suggested he hid it well. I eyed the pack of cigarettes in his hand.
"What, can't sneak a butt in your room?" I smiled at him, hoping he understood I was just being friendly and not actually concerned with whatever he's up to.
"Smoke detectors." He deadpanned, lifting the hand holding the bottle and pointing at the ceiling. A small, quiet smile started to grow on his face. It felt contagious, my own mouth turned up in response.
"Right. Wanna walk together?" I jerked my head in the direction of the kitchen. Daryl nodded and started off. I trailed a few steps, surprised at his apparent sobriety, before jogging to pull alongside him. We walked to the end of the hall in silence. I could see the open kitchen and eating area ahead of us, the lights were dimmed and the space seemed deserted.
Daryl headed straight for the hood vent and propped his bottle on the cooktop. I grabbed the half open bottle of wine on the counter and jumped up to sit on the stainless steel counter. Daryl pulled a cigarette out and lit up, then offered the open pack to me.
I shouldn't. Cancer is still a real thing in this world. I hadn't smoked regularly since college and even then it was maybe once or twice a week if I had been drinking…like tonight. Drinking socially, enjoying a friend's company (like with Andrea, we were the very least friendly), having a smoke on someone's deck. But smoking's bad for you. And cancer is definitely still a real thing in this world.
I smiled and grabbed a cigarette out of the pack, leaned over Daryl's hands as he flicked his Bic lighter, and dragged.
"Sweet Jesus, this might be the best smoke I've ever had." My eyes slid shut in satisfaction as I exhaled towards the hood vent. Daryl chuckled next to me.
"You ain't so bad." I heard him say.
"Yeah? What the hell is that supposed to mean?" I leveled a sharp eye at him and swigged the wine, then pulled on the cigarette again.
"Nothin', just sayin'." He shrugged.
"Yeah?" I pulled again, swigged the wine again. A pause stretched between us as I looked down at my bare feet swinging against the cabinet.
"Thanks." He murmured shyly, his eyes concentrating intently on peeling the label off the whiskey bottle.
I turned my head to him and watched his movement.
"For what?"
"Coming to look for Merle. I know he's a prick, you didn't have to help." He kept the conversation directed at his mutilation of the bottle label.
"Oh," I looked back down at the cigarette in my hand, flicking the ash into a dirty cup next to me. "Well, don't thank me, thank Momma. I wouldn't have done it if she didn't tell me to." An uncomfortable guilty feeling began to grow in my chest. Merle was Daryl's brother, his only family as far as I knew. It never should have been a question for any of us to go after him.
"She's a good lady." Daryl said after a minute, then took a long pull from the whiskey bottle. "Helped me detox Merle. Don't think she told nobody neither."
"She said he had the flu." I ground out with a groan. Because of course. Of course my good sweet patient kind Momma has been secretly taking care of everyone in camp. Of course, after everything that's happened before and after the world ended she wouldn't think twice about helping some strung out hillbilly asshole detox in a tent while his brother feeds half the camp. I harshly pulled on the cigarette and stubbed it hard into the dirty glass I had been ashing in. Fuck this shouldn't bother me this bad.
Daryl gave a grunt of affirmation. I drank deeply from the bottle of wine. I could feel him eyeing me sideways. I put the bottle down and just gripped the edge of the counter, staring at the floor as my mind went in fifty different directions. I scrubbed my eyes with one hand. The pack of cigarettes reappeared in my line of vision. I looked back up at him, already holding a fresh lit smoke in between his lips. With a sigh I grabbed another and lit it when Daryl offered the Bic to me again.
These days one could only hope to live long enough to get cancer.
I breathed out with a sigh.
"Sorry. I shouldn't be so bent up about that." I resigned.
"S'ok," He nodded in affirmation. And for some reason I believed that it really was no skin off his back. We dragged our cigarettes, killed our bottles, and silently enjoyed not being alone.
A/N Chapter 4! Thanks so much AeslinnArt for the review and the rest of you for the follows and favorites! This chapters a bit long, but some good Daryl/Jenny chat at the end. Next couple chapters starts to build on their friendship a bit more and expand on Jenny and Momma a bit more too. As always, reviews help feel the soul and let me know that I'm headed in the right direction, or not Have a great weekend!