A/N: Well now… haven't updated this in forever. Haha. I've far from given up on this tho! I'm gonna try and be better at updating at least semi-regularly… definitely more frequently at the very least. Katsuo is a character I am very invested in, and as you get to know her more and more I'm sure you'll see why. Please enjoy this chapter that's been two years in the making. Hah.

Chapter Four - Darkness

Time: January 2001

Katsuo did not intimately know the meaning of the word family. It had never been something that she cared to acknowledge, and since she'd never had one she did not feel it was necessary to try… or at least… that had been her intention… but at age nine, it was to become one that she would come to know in it's purest sense.

For better or for worse.

At that time she had been finally allowed to leave the compound to observe a world she had never gotten to properly experience. At first, it was mostly used to test her ability to sense in a real world environment, but the more time she spent in the outside world, the more leeway she was given.

Just being born was never a guarantee that a person was allowed to live their life. To be alive was seen as a gift… but to live a life was most certainly a privilege that she had never been privy to. This was true even before her time with the Clan… and so she did not know how it felt to take such a thing for granted.

Connections to people were fragile, fickle things. This Katsuo had observed first hand throughout her young life.

Plenty of people had outstretched their hands to her only to retract them almost immediately. She had learned, at such a delicate stage of life, that people were not to be trusted… but more importantly that people could not be trusted around her.

Everyone who she had ever known only dealt with her out of necessity, and for that she could not fault them. She was the type of child that adults feared.

Even in the Clan, surrounded by others like herself, Katsuo stood out for that very reason.

Saitou, Unkai was the first person in her life that she'd felt a connection to. Unlike the others, he was not intimidated by her, nor did he seem to fear her. During his first encounter with her... she remembered him smiling.

However, even he had his reasons.

An obligation to the Headmaster.

Saitou-san had acted as her guide from the moment she entered under the wardship of the Clan. He headed her academic lessons and instructed her on how the world worked. Should she have felt close to anyone within the compound, it stood to reason it would have been to him.

Katsuo was a special case. An anomaly.

Most joined the Clan later in life by choice… but she was taken in at a young age. Katsuo didn't remember much outside of being there. She lived and breathed it, and knew little of much else. And so, it was no surprise that one-day Katsuo found herself stopped by the sight of something… different than what she was used to seeing.

Not far from her stood three people: one man, one woman, and one small child (of which perhaps was only a few years younger than herself). They walked together hand in hand, and despite the biting chill of the snowy air they looked... warm.

The child, a young girl, smiled brightly between her parents… not a care in the world.

Katsuo paused and stared unblinkingly at the scene. Saitou-san's presence beside her looming and silent as she watched the trio continue down the sidewalk.

It was almost as if they were in their own little world away from everything… as if just being in each other's presence made them content.

A feeling hit her then that she wouldn't be able to identify at that moment, but what would later reveal to be envy. One for a happiness she'd never felt.

"They live in a delusion," her mentor had told her, breaking the silence between them as he seemed to read her thoughts. His voice wasn't outright judgmental, but there was slight disapproval in his tone. "One that you cannot afford."

"Why?" she asked, whatever innocence she had left showing up in that moment as she stared into the lenses of his dark sunglasses.

He bent forward slightly, his red eyes peering over the frame of his shades as he regarded her with her with a serious expression. "Because the world is full of darkness, and those who try to ignore that, or go against it, are swallowed by it," he explained, and she took in his words like a sponge. "The darkness is something that must be acknowledged to be controlled." She trusted what he said to be true because darkness was all that she had ever known.

"Happiness is merely an illusion that will eventually go away," he added simply, standing back to his full height. Katsuo nodded at this, as she did with any other lesson, and they continued to their destination in silence.

Secretly, however, the image of the small family stayed with her and she couldn't stop herself from staring at Saitou-san's gloved hand, wondering how it would feel to reach out and hold on.

May 2001

It was by sheer coincidence that Katsuo found the family again.

Saitou-san had business to attend to, and so she had been left to her own devices. It wasn't unusual for her mentor to disappear when they were out. Since she was used to being alone, this didn't bother her. Though there were times when she toyed with the notion of him ever coming back for her at all.

That train of thought had turned into a bit of a game for her. Each time he left, she'd wander further and further from her initial spot and then would wait to see if he'd find her.

No matter how far she went or which way she turned, he always caught up to her and for a child used to be abandoned and left forgotten… it was reassuring to see his tall figure stroll into view. Spotting his white hair from a far began to become a comfort.

In the middle of such antics, Katsuo happened to pass by a public park one evening. Normally she might have walked by without a second thought, but she stopped at the sight of the same family she'd seen that day in the snow.

As strange as it was for her to remember them, she did.

Quite vividly, in fact.

Most of the time when she saw a family, Katsuo could pick out their flaws. She could see the unhappiness lying just underneath. And yet… while no family was perfect… there was just something about the three of them that made her feel that this was what an ideal family looked like.

And so, taking a seat on a bench, Katsuo found herself watching them from afar.

There was nothing particularly spectacular about the way they'd chosen to spend their time. If the girl's father wasn't pushing her on the swing, then the girl's mother was helping her across the monkey bars… and when the adults had their fill of exercise they watched the child frolic on her own at a safe distance.

It should have looked utterly boring, but for some reason, the three of them looked so… content. To see a family so in the moment with one another, and so willing to spend their free time together in what looked like genuine happiness was…

It was… strange.

A lot of Katsuo's past before the Clan was a blur to her, but the warmth that she saw emanating from these happy people was something she was sure she had never witnessed. Looking at the three of them, Katsuo couldn't help but think for the first time that perhaps her tutor had not been completely right. That, perhaps, for some people… happiness was very much a real thing.

Though, this was not a thought that crossed her mind overnight.

Every few days when Saitou-san found himself busy, Katsuo came to that same park. The family was not alway there, but when they were she watched them.

At first it was only briefly, but eventually, her stays grew longer and longer. She saw in them a life that perhaps she could have had. It got her thinking about what it would have been like if she hadn't been an orphan… If she'd had parents who had loved her as much as those girl's parents seemed to obviously love their daughter.

It was strange to think of, and even stranger to picture.

It was a life that wasn't fit for someone like her.

July 2001

Eventually, Katsuo's role of a silent observer would change one hot summer's day, when after playing a game of soccer the young girl's ball rolled off course.

Katsuo watched, with a slight anxiety she had never felt before, as the ball came toward her and lightly bounced off of her shoe, stopping just before her.

That anxiety grew as the owner of the ball pranced over, clearly coming to retrieve it. Her short brown hair bobbed up and down as she came toward her with no hesitation. Too trusting, Katsuo thought as the child instantly beamed at her, holding out her hands expectantly for the ball to be returned.

"Sorry!" she apologized cheekily, her face flushed from running.

Blinking from her trance at the word, Kastuo picked up the ball and handed it to her. If possible the girl's grin widened, and she couldn't help but wonder if it was possible for a smile to be that bright. She had watched the girl smile plenty, of course, but it had never been aimed at her before. It was a bit disarming.

Strangely enough, their interaction didn't end there. Instead of running back to her awaiting parents, the girl stayed and stared. Unsure of the reasoning behind it, Katsuo stared back.

"Pretty," the younger child said after a few moments and naturally Katsuo found herself caught off guard. Her confusion must have shown on her face because to clarify, the girl pointed to her right eye. "It's pretty."

The older girl flushed instantly, having not realized that (though her eye was covered by her bangs) because of the child's shorter stature her red iris was visible to her… and also, her eye had been called many things but pretty had never been one of them.

Not noticing Katsuo's uncomfortable and flustered face, the brown haired child continued, "I'm Mai! Wanna play with us?" She worded it like a question, but without even waiting for an answer Mai took her by the hand and pulled her over to the field. "She wants to play!" she told her father, who looked between the two of them with amusement.

Highly confused, Katsuo wanted to express the fact that she had not agreed to participate, but her mouth failed to form the words as both parents looked her over with interest. It felt odd being looked at by the same people that she had spent the better part of a few months watching… and so she grew cold feet.

"The more the merrier!" the girl's father grinned, making it obvious where the bright smile gene came from.

The girl's mother nodded in agreement, not at all bothered by the idea. "What's your name, sweety?"

Whiplash was a good way to describe the feeling that came over her to it all. Perhaps it was the shock of how quickly they accepted her… or how distractingly bright they all were… but she found herself answering with an embarrassingly timid, "K-Katsuo."

She had never played… well, anything before, really, but it did not take her long to pick up the simple mechanics of it. Joining in felt… strange. Different but…

Well, she wasn't exactly sure how to describe it.

Whatever the case, Mai seemed more than a little impressed with her athletic ability. Likely because it contrasted greatly with her own. The brown haired girl was rather bumbly and clumsy, but despite her shortcomings, she never stopped smiling. Katsuo couldn't fathom her.

Towards the end of their game, Mai's clumsiness caused the two younger girls to collide into one another and topple over. Breathless, Katsuo's green and red eyes stared up into big brown ones with both shock and slight annoyance. Without reason, Mai broke into a fit of giggles… and as if they were contagious her parents joined in.

As they were helped up, Katsuo couldn't help but crack the smallest of smiles, her whole being feeling a lightness that she had never experienced. She was having… fun.

It was like a dream.

But then Mai's father pointed over her shoulder and said, "I think your father's here to get you," bringing her back into reality. She didn't have a father, but it didn't take much to know who he'd meant.

Going rigid almost instantly, she cursed herself for being too distracted to sense his presence nearing. Turning, she saw Saitou-san standing off to the side of the park, staring right at her. His dark jacket and glasses making him stand out in the hot summer son.

"I have to go," she said instantly, because even though he gave off an air of indifference Katsuo knew better.

Mai made a sound of exaggerated disappointment but gave her a hug that she was not prepared for. "You have to come back and play again soon, ok?"

With big puppy dog eyes staring at her, Katsuo had no choice but to lay a hand on the girl's head and give her a promise she wasn't sure she'd be able to keep. Satisfied, Mai released her, and she steeled these new emotions inside of her as she headed over to her mentor's side.

As soon as she stopped in front of him, he glanced over her shoulder with a frown. "Will this become a habit?"

"No," she assured him.

August 2001

It became a habit.

For two weeks she had managed to keep away from the park. Partly due to her training, and partly due to her own will.

She tried to keep her mind on more important matters… but her thoughts always went back to that family.

They had made her feel included, and she had liked it. For as long as she could remember it was all she had ever wanted, and for a while, the Clan had been the closest thing to it she had ever believed that she'd get.

So to have finally felt what she had longed for… Katsuo couldn't help but want to be a little greedy and feel it again.

She was not supposed to make relationships outside of the Clan because it threatened discovery and made things complicated. She knew the rules and she knew why they were in place… but she was only a child and children longed for connections to other people.

And so, Katsuo found herself coming back to the park… and every time she did she spent time with Mai and her family.

Everything in her screamed not to get attached, but the longer she interacted with them, the more she wondered if this was what it would be like to have a family of her own… a mother, a father, a sister… The more time she shared with them the harder it was to leave.

She always did though. Timing it perfectly before Saitou-san found her there.

The Taniyama family (she would later find out that was their name) were probably the warmest people Katsuo had ever met.

Mai was always smiling and seemed to cling to her like glue. She asked a lot of questions, especially when it became clear that Katsuo was very smart for a child of her age. Because she was clumsy she tripped often, so she always seemed to have more than one bandage littering her body. It became such a frequent occurrence that Katsuo's own body became conditioned to catch her the moment she started to trip.

Mai's mother, on the other hand, was very kind but also very stubborn, and insisted on feeding her whatever it was they'd brought with them that day no matter how many times Katsuo said it wasn't necessary. Over time, the woman began packing things specifically for her, a detail that touched her heart to the point where she nearly started to cry… much to the surprise and panic of all three Taniyamas who did everything in their power to make her smile again.

Mai's father was very much the most energetic and optimistic of them all. He was very much a child trapped inside the body of a man and insisted the day wasn't over until everyone was having a good time. If life could be personified… Katsuo was sure that he'd be it. It was no question that he was a man that held a lot of love within him and Mai took after him a great deal.

It did not take long for the Taniyamas to treat her as if she was one of their own… and as happy as it made her it also confused her to no end.

Like Mai, her parents did not shutter away from her red eye. Mai's mother, in particular, called it beautiful and pinned Katsuo's hair back with the insistence that it was not a feature she should hide. Mai's father called her special for it and expressed that such a uniqueness meant she was likely destined for something great.

To hear such things about a feature that had caused her so much pain had filled Katsuo's heart with a warmth she had never experienced… but at the same time… the attention they gave her also hurt… because Katsuo was sure that if they knew what she could do and what her red eye could see… then they would no longer want to be around her.

Of this Katsuo was sure, if only because it had been the case for so long.

Truly, she should have left the family for their own good, since tragedy struck those around her no matter where she was…

And yet…

Katsuo did not want to let go of this feeling, of this sense of belonging.

Satou-san had warned her not to care for others and of the dangers of happiness, but Katsuo wanted to believe that he was wrong.

Surely such a bright family was too cemented in the light for the darkness to touch them, and if that were the case then maybe spending time with them like this would allow her to step from out of the shadows that had held a hold over her for her whole life.

November 2001

Darkness always wins… and when two weeks went by without the Taniyama's coming to the park, Katsuo should have known better than to expect any different.

Another two weeks passed and she had also given up on seeing them ever again. She had thought, that perhaps, maybe they had grown tired of her presence… but she had grown to know them well enough to know that could not be true.

But perhaps it would have been better than the truth.

When Katsuo finally saw the three again she could tell from afar that something was off.

They were not smiling as brightly usual, if even at all. Mai swung on her swing with an air of melancholy that Katsuo had never seen on her before, and the air around her mother was not much better as she pushed her daughter to help her swing. The worse, however, was the look on Mai's father's face.

He looked as if he was in complete anguish. He stood by his family with outstretched arms as if he wanted to touch them… but did not.

It only took a moment, but she realized she needed to correct herself.

He could not. He wasn't able to because…

He was dead.

Rocked to the core by her discovery, Katsuo's world spun on its axis and she became nauseous. Unable to move another step she fell to her knees, her sight blurring.

Mai and her mother finally seemed to notice her arrival because they were at her side in a matter of moments. The woman asked if she was alright, but Katsuo was unable to answer as she choked on her own breath. One look at the expression on her face and Mai's mother seemed to realize that she knew… and while she was confused as to how such a thing was possible, it did not stop the mother from enveloping Katsuo in a tight embrace.

Mai soon followed suit and the three females found themselves locked in each other's arms, and while Katsuo was not used to such a thing, her body reacted on its own and hugged the two of them back. Her finger dug into their clothes, and she found herself never wanting to let them go. If she did she'd lose them too, wouldn't she?

In the end, she had to… as she had to leave before she was found by her mentor. Mai and her mother promised to start coming to the park again, but Katsuo knew it wouldn't be the same.

She watched them leave first and wasn't surprised when the ghost of Mai's father stayed. She stared at him, and he stared back, neither of them making a sound. Eventually, he stepped closer, and knelt in front of her, a small smile gracing his pained face.

"You can see me…" it wasn't a question, but she nodded anyway. Usually, she pretended not to see specters, if only because it invited them to harass her… but he was different. He meant something to her.

"I told you it was special," he half laughed, glancing at her red eye with a sad fondness that would never stop surprising her. She felt tears prick at the corner of her eyes and he frowned, seeing the sadness she held. "I'm sorry…" he told her and instantly she was confused. He had no reason to apologize… and yet he was starting to cry as well. "I'm so sorry."

The back of her throat burned, but Katsuo pushed herself to speak. "It's not your fault you died."

He half laughed again and wiped his face. "Even so."

A silence fell between them, and she watched the ghost get lost within his own thoughts. Instantly she became worried for him. He was a wandering spirit and that made him vulnerable to corruption. "You should move on," she pressed with an urgency that did not belong in the mouth of a child.

He sighed, torn. "Just… a little longer…" he insisted, "I want to be with them a little longer."

Katsuo understood him… his want was to be with his loved ones for as long as he could. However, he should move on while his spirit was still pure. If he were to become corrupted he would lose his chance… and likely become food for a demon.

She could have done it right then… She could have used all she'd been trained to do and she could have forced his soul to pass on…

But she understood… and she cared too much.

"A week," she stressed, wiping away her own tears. "Any longer and your soul will be in danger."

He nodded once, giving her a wide smile that told her he was thankful for the warning, and then he was gone.