Sorry it's been so long since I've updated this! Let me know your feelings about this chapter! I think there will only be one more chapter after this but I'm not entirely sure yet!
Alec was far angrier than he knew he should be. He was currently at the Institute, attempting to take out his anger on the punching bag instead of on Magnus. Punching the bag was a much better option to another argument with Magnus, so he'd been in the training room for over an hour. He studiously ignored Jace when he came in the room, but he knew that soon Jace would break his silence soon, and he wasn't looking forward to that.
Finally, Alec walked away from the punching bag to take a drink of water. Looking over at Jace, he couldn't help but break the silence himself. "Why are you sitting in here watching me, Jace?" he asked, his voice a little more on edge than he had intended it to be. He knew that Jace ignored the edge to his voice when Jace didn't react to it in any way, he simply responded to the question as though everything was normal.
"You never train this long, Alec, not anymore. There's something wrong and I would simply like to know what it is." Alec had known this was coming, but he had kept from thinking about it for weeks. Magnus had tried telling him that he needed to talk to his family about what had happened, but he couldn't bring himself to do that, and now Jace was picking up on the things only Jace ever could. "There's something going on, and it's been going on for weeks. Alec, I just want you to talk to me, that's all."
Alec sighed and took a seat on the floor, knowing that Jace wouldn't let him out of the conversation for anything. "I hate how well you know me," he said, earning the flash of a smile from Jace as he sat down beside of Alec on the floor. "Magnus and I are just going through a lot right now, that's all," Alec said, knowing that that would not get him out of anything at all.
"If you want to talk about it, you know that I'm here," Jace said, much more gently than Alec had expected. Jace seemed to be picking up on the fact that what was going on meant much more to Alec than the average thing did. At that moment, Alec heard Magnus's voice in the back of his mind gently reminding him that telling his family would give him more closure as well as more support. Alec knew Magnus was right; he'd thought about it a lot. He was just afraid that Jace would think of him differently, which he could even understand was slightly irrational of him.
"There's something I need to tell you, Jace," he said, wishing that he could skip this part of the conversation and simply make Jace understand what he wanted to tell him. He took his time in telling Jace what had happened, and he was surprised to see that Jace listened with much more calmness than usual. No jokes, no interruptions at all. Just his attention to what Alec was saying, and Alec was infinitely thankful for that.
When he had explained everything up to the fact that he and Magnus were now arguing because Magnus wouldn't talk to him about Camille's comment, Jace sat in silence for several long moments. Alec began fidgeting, feeling as though Jace might say something to prove Alec's fears that he never should have told anyone.
"Alexander," Jace said slowly, obviously trying to choose his words carefully. "There's nothing to be ashamed of, and it's certainly not your fault. I'm not going to pretend that I understand because I certainly don't. But you know that if there's anything I can do for you, you can tell me exactly what that is and I'll do it." For several more moments, Alec simply stared at Jace, the reality of what Jace said taking a while to sink in.
He'd expected Jace to at least be angry that he had kept it from him for so long. But the fact that Jace had taken every part of it so well, the fact that Jace had simply shown his support and nothing more gave Alec a sense of peace that he hadn't felt in years. "As for Magnus," Jace continued, prompted by Alec's silence. "Don't push him to talk to you. When he wants to talk about whatever happened, he'll talk. When that happens, just be there for him the way he was there for you. That's all you really can do, Alec."
Alec smiled at Jace's surprise when he reached over for a quick hug before springing up from the floor. "I have to go home," he said, his voice much faster than it had been before. "Thank you for everything; we'll pick this up again soon," he added as he was heading out of the door.
"Magnus, we need to talk," Alec said as soon as he'd walked back into their apartment. He held up a hand as Magnus opened his mouth, knowing that the other man likely thought he was going to argue about their situation again. "No, not like that, just listen please," Alec continued, taking a seat beside of Magnus on the couch. "I just wanted to apologize for trying to force you to talk to me. When you're ready, I'll listen, but until then, I'll stop asking."
Alec smiled when Magnus reached to pull him in for a hug. "Thank you," was all that Magnus said, his voice very soft and shaky. They stayed like that for the majority of the day, talking about anything and everything and yet somehow nothing at all. This time, however, Alec didn't mind that they weren't addressing the situation. Jace had put his mind at ease, and he understood that the fact that he and Magnus were together was all he needed.
When Magnus woke up from a nightmare, Alec had no idea what he should attempt to do for him. He watched as Magnus got up and headed toward the living room after sitting in silence for several moments. He thought about lying back down, but he found himself getting up as well, his feet moving him toward the living room as well.
Almost as soon as Alec sat down beside of Magnus on the couch, Magnus began speaking. "Alexander, I think it's time we have that talk," he said, his eyes trained on the floor, his voice very far away. Alec remained silent, knowing that Magnus would keep speaking when he was ready. "I'm afraid my story is nothing like yours," he said, seemingly unconsciously moving to take Alec's hand.
"I've never told anyone about it either, Alec. The reason Camille knows is because she's the one who raped me." Magnus stopped and took a deep breath; Alec gave his hand an encouraging squeeze. "You didn't know your attackers. I loved mine." Alec swallowed the lump in his throat that formed at the pain in Magnus's voice. "I can't decide which is worse. But neither makes it any less disgusting."
When Magnus turned toward him, Alec was pained to see that his eyes were shimmering. There was so much that Alec wanted to say, but he remained silent, knowing that listening was all he needed to do at the moment. "She decided that I was lying when I told her I didn't want to have sex with her that night," Magnus said, the sorrow in his voice deepening at the memory.
"I have a policy of never using magic against people I love," he continued, finally lifting his eyes up toward Alec. "She knew that, and she knew that a vampire would be no match for me without magic. Especially not when I was so unwilling to hurt her. I look back on it now and I know that that was a stupid thing. The love I felt for her, my unwillingness to hurt her. It was all so foolish of me."
Alec spoke up then, unable to keep silent any longer. "It wasn't foolish of you, Magnus," he said, his voice soft from the sympathy that even he himself could hear. "You love with all your heart, there's no shame in that." Magnus flashed a weak smile in Alec's direction at that, showing Alec that it was unlikely would feel that way for some time yet.
"Thank you, Alexander," he said, his voice catching ever so slightly. "There's just one problem left," he said, and Alec couldn't force himself to speak up enough to ask what that was. "Camille is now saying she needs to meet with us. I'm too scared of what she'll do if we refuse. I don't know what this is about, but it's certainly not a housewarming visit."