After writing Chapter Three, I was forced to write Chapter Four. Okay, maybe I wasn't forced but God, I wanted to so bad! :)

Chapter Four

In the morning, we both pretended that last night didn't happen because it didn't. I wasn't weak and I wasn't fragile and I wasn't folding his arm onto me like a blanket because I wasn't and I wasn't using his stomach like a pillow because I wasn't—I just wasn't. Repeated, last night did not happen. I was not warming up to him and we were still enemies no matter what and I watched as he ran his hand through his mass of ringlets and a question fell out of his mouth. "Are we going to bathe right now?"

"No," I instantly flushed, letting my hair cover the pink undertones of my face, thinking of him bathing with me was just disgusting, too disturbing and right now, as the sun burned me to life and alert, I let my eyes scan and search for something, anything, but found nothing. No sharks. No fishes even. Just a clear, lucid coast. "Should I get you some breakfast?"

He shook his head, "if we keep eating so frequently, we're going to lose all our food fast and I have no time to go fishing around, especially when we don't have supplies to cook and fry them."

That disgusted me even more than the thought of bathing with Matt, the thought of eating a raw fish just to survive and I didn't want for this horrible week to end anything like that and it was only three days out there but it was a horrible three days and we didn't know if we were going to survive. I could see it in his eyes, masked underneath the forced shield of carelessness, there was fear. There was a lot of fear in his eyes and truthfully, I was just as afraid as he was. I tried to forget the thought as I took a dry CM Punk Hardcore t-shirt from my bag, letting the cloth of a dry t-shirt overwhelm me with gratitude. I just felt like I was at home by the scent of my shirt, scents of cigarettes (because of excessive smoking in the WWE, they do not know what it means to try and quit), Pepsi, and a hint of that cologne that everyone hated and I wore purposely just to annoy them.

There was potential for our deaths out here and I knew that I wanted to go home to my parents and he needed to go home to his bitch. We had families and lives but I envied him. That bitch of a brother of his was probably crying his eyes out, daily, nightly and my family didn't even acknowledge my existence and even so, I still cared. Maybe that was the way I worked, maybe the more that people hated me, the more I took a liking to them and with that thought, I realized just how much I had grown attached to Matt even if I "despised" him and what if the same change happened in Jeff? The worse that people mistreated me, the more attached I get. The realization of this sickened me to no end as I wrapped my arms around my stomach. "Matt?"

"Yeah?" he asked me, with humor in his chocolate eyes.

"Let's skip the 'I know this is a weird question but I need to know' intro and I'm asking you straight up, you think I'm somehow attached to the people I hate the most?"

He seemed to be in thought before he slowly nodded his head and bit down his always bitten down lips and I guessed he had the same habit as me and the more I noticed these things, the more I realized that I also noted these strange things about every one of my enemies, like I'd always note that when Jeff was outside of the ring, he'd rather drink than smoke, and that made me even more attached, didn't it? Matt quickly nodded his head, "when you and Jeff were fighting, I reckon that when Jeff was talking, you'd always come in and whenever Jeff even remotely said anything, you'd always have a point against it."

I nodded my head, digesting the information that I suddenly knew was completely and utterly true, without a doubt against this all.

"Now my turn," Matt said, wrapping his head to the back of his neck together as he flopped down onto the board, "same question. But towards me. Do you think I'm more attached to the people I hate or not?"

"You're pretty attached to your brother and I don't think that you hate him…or do you?"

His eyes widened as he sat up and he shook his head with pain sparking into his eyes, "no! Don't even think that! I made that damn mistake once and everyone starts doubting me! Typical!"

"Look—"

He shook his head and grabbed me by the wrist and suddenly I saw the anger that was shielded beyond the pain, "why the hell did you think that, you kinky slut? What—?" I rapidly realized how sensitive he was about the subject but it didn't give him the right to touch me like that and as I tried to rip my hand away from him, he only gripped it tighter, restricting blood flow from my wrists.

"Let go of me!" I shouted at him, annoyed at his abuse to my wrists, and I was ready to push him away but I stopped myself and took a quick breath, trying to calm down this igniting fire inside of me and more and more fuel was burning in that fire with every breath I took. Why should I be patient with him? I pushed him off the wooden board and since he was unprepared, he was spitting water and didn't know how to control his body and I watched him as he regained control, spitting water and grabbing onto me, us both tackling ourselves in the water, and the endless blackness was starting to scare me completely and I finally let my hands wrap around his neck as he reached for the surface and when we were there, he started to grab me by my wrist again, squeezing my blood out of my hand. "STOP, YOU PIECE OF—!"

He jerked me towards the board, throwing me on top, the soaking clothing of us both drying off quicker when we were together because of our body heat and that was when I noticed that the now soaked cloth of my t-shirt was stuck in the zipper of his bathing suit, and I impatiently tried to pull my shirt out and as both of us worked to get the cloth of my t-shirt out of his zipper. My hands firmly on his shoulder as he told me to stay still so that he can take the piece of cloth off, when we had finally gotten the zipper to let go of my cloth, it was so sudden that I fell on the board and my hands wrapped around his neck and that was when I noticed how close we were, both of our soaked bodies not daring to move and the hot breath of his on my face, and I couldn't tear my eyes away from those eyes of his. Chocolate eyes. Beautiful.

What the hell was I thinking? I pushed him away from me and the silence suffocated us. I didn't say anything else. I couldn't say anything else. Not for a while. Then I said those words, those painful acidic words that were rolling too easily off the tip of my tongue, "why the hell did you touch me like that? You had no right to treat me the way you did, Hardy."

Matt stared at me and nodded his head, admitting his mistake and that was what shocked me, "yeah…I know that I wasn't supposed to overreact like that but it's a touchy subject for me. He's my brother. I love him and I'm away from him. You know how it feels to have something so close to you just suddenly ripped away?"

"No," I snapped at him. "No one cares about me and I don't care about anyone."

But I wanted to.

I wanted Mike to care about me. I wanted my parents to care. I wanted to care about someone. I wanted to have to take care of something. I wanted someone to rely on me. I wanted to rely on someone.

"What about love?" he asked me.

"I don't love anyone and no one loves me. That's just it. Why should I believe in love? It doesn't exist."

He shook his head and laughed at me, slight humor in sad, hard eyes and that slightly angered me but I didn't have enough energy to fight with anyone anymore. I didn't think he had any energy left either. "Everyone can love, Punk."

"Please, I'm begging you not to sound like a cliché drama story."

"Maybe that's just life—a cliché drama story."

I nodded my head and stared down into the open water and it was darkening and now, that the waters look peaceful and Matt was lying on his back as I placed my head on top of his chest, feeling his soft and steady heartbeat and he was running his fingers through my hair, and right now, we didn't have enough energy to fight. It was so stupid. When the sun would go away and darkness would fall, we were different. It was almost as if something was calming as down, something that soothed me, something that prevented us from clawing each other's brains out.

He ran his hand through the greasy hair of my roots, and I snuggled deep into his chest, the scent of his suddenly intoxicating as the thick, cold night air rushed through us and no words were uttered out of my mouth. "You wanna take a bath?" Right now, a bath sounded relaxing and as we slipped into the water, his hands onto me as I stripped my shirt in front of him and right then, his eye twitched.

"You don't mind doing this?"

I shook my head, "no…I mean, you know how I look like."

"I never saw you completely naked."

"Just bare with me for a minute. I mean, I know it's sorta disgusting holding a guy but just for a moment—if I was Maryse or Maria, you would have no trouble," I saw a smile form on his lips and I realized right then that that smile was sort of uncertain. Did that mean that he didn't like the girls or was he denying the notion of being disgusted to touch my body? I didn't know and the other one seemed to be too unrealistic as I took off my swimsuit, one of my hand draped on his shoulder, as I let the large piece of fabric fall onto the board and the feel of my naked body touching the water again—it was almost liberating. I felt free again. Like there was no limits but when I felt Matt's hand run across my side, my breath caught in my throat. "You don't wear underwear?"

I didn't say anything else. I wasn't in the right mind when I had first come for snorkeling and I wasn't going to embarrass myself trying to answer his questions as I let the cool water bathe me and then I felt Matt pull me inside of the water with him before pulling me out, quick but the water was still dripping from my face. "Stop that!"

"Stop what?" Matt pulled me in and out again, quick and refreshing, "stop this?"

"Yes!"

He pulled me in and out, in and out and I finally wrapped my arms around his neck to force him to stop and he finally did, chuckling to himself as he laid me on the board and as my flesh brushed against his, I realized how awkward it had became and I struggled to wear my swimsuit again, looking for my bag for my other dry t-shirt and wearing it as quickly as I could.

Both of our bodies rubbing against each other. "Punk?"

"Huh?"

"Goodnight."

"Goodnight, Matty."

In his arms, I fell asleep. The night was so serene. And even if I was stressed out, even if this was all messed up, I finally felt like I was breathing.

I just loved the ending. :)

X Sam.