Someone knocked on the door about two hours later when he was curled up on the bed alone, staring at the wall. Meko was still out, no doubt continuing his family reunion elsewhere. Iki was his dam and Suko his litter-mate, and he had left them both behind to go with him to Carthak all those years ago. He liked to think the marmoset had come of entirely his own volition, but he couldn't help suspecting that Sarra had had something to do with it. His sister hadn't wanted him to go alone. But he was always alone, in the end.

He wished his magic were a living creature, or even a fireshape. Something that could communicate. It didn't have emotions of its own, or a brain of its own. It just did things on its own, in a way he had never heard of before. People would think him crazy if he tried to explain that. Well, most people.

The knock came again, a little louder this time. "Kash? Its me."

He was powerless to resist that particular voice. He sat up and flicked his fingers at the door. It opened to admit Priya, who shut it quickly behind her. "You should leave it open," he said tiredly and without much conviction.

"I don't think you want people hearing what we need to talk about," she said softly, coming to sit beside him. Her dark hair had come out of its golden ties, and hung like a waterfall around her sweet, round face. Her colouring spoke loudly of her father's Carthaki heritage, but her Gift, and her stubbornness were all Conte.

She put a tentative hand on his shoulder. "What happened?"

He folded his arms on his knees and rested his head on them. "It got away from me again," he whispered, in humiliation. He knew she would listen, and understand, when no one else would, except maybe Ajit. He just wished he didn't have to.

She bit her brown lip, her eyes filled with concern when he dared to look up at her. "Well... you pulled it back."

"Almost too late," he argued shortly. The sight of the great fire dragon rearing against the princess seemed to be burned into the back of his eyelids, so that he saw it whenever he closed his eyes.

"It wouldn't have hurt me," she said confidently. She touched the slight lump under her gown where the cord around her neck ended.

"No, but if it had been someone else..."

"But it wasn't. Listen, maybe you shouldn't be holding back. You said your magic starts to... to overflow if it builds up too much..."

He snorted. "Which is mad."

"Mad or not, you can't just ignore it!" she protested. "Listen, bleed some off now, while I'm here. And no one will mind if you do little magics around the place."

"Little magics don't do much," he argued, but he looked up as she drew the stone on its chain out from her bodice. He took it in his hand. It was very warm where it had soaked up the heat from her body, and when it touched his skin it tingled dangerously with power.

It was a black opal, a large one, so expensive that she had had to borrow money from the royal treasury to help him buy it, and she had never told him quite how she'd gotten away with it. He had been siphoning his power into it for so long that he didn't like to think how powerful it was. At least in this stone form, it wasn't painful. It didn't demand to be used. But somewhere deep within the stone he could feel his Gift calling to him.

He closed his fingers around it and it blazed. Priya closed her eyes and turned her head against the light, but he stared resolutely at it as he transferred into it as much power as the stone could take at one time. He felt the pain - if it could truly be described as pain - ease slightly as the thing glowed with black and gold fire. Once he was done, he didn't feel drained or even tired, but he did feel a bit more normal. "Better," he managed to say, slightly croaky. "Thank you."

"You're welcome," she said, tucking the stone away inside her gown. She lifted a hand and gently pushed a comma of hair away from his eyes. He realised suddenly how close she was and put up a hand to stay hers.

"Kash," she said after a moment. "Papa is arranging a marriage for me."

His heart sank, as if he hadn't already been miserable enough. For a while he could think of nothing to say. Then he said, "Already?"

"I'm turning eighteen in August, that's late for any noblewoman to be betrothed, especially a princess," she pointed out. It was hard to guess her reaction to the news. As a princess she was good at hiding her emotions. Better than he was. "Mama was promised to Papa when she was twelve." She let her hand fall slowly, taking his with her. "Say something."

He shook his head. "We knew nothing would come of it," he said, forcing the words through unwilling lips. "We knew it was only temporary."

Her eyes turned fiery and she dropped his hand, all pretence of imperial impartialness gone. "Is that all you can say?"

He looked at her sadly. "What do you want me to say? Should I be angry?"

"Yes! You should be fighting for me!"

Kash chuckled darkly. "We've been over this Priya. I'm no noble –"

"Papa could make you a noble! Or King Jonathan, who owes your family –"

"Even if they did, marriage to me would not benefit Carthak, and that is what your marriage must do," Kash recited. It seemed like it was someone else saying the words. "In fact, after today I think a match between us would be extremely detrimental to Carthak or anywhere. I definitely should not have that much power." He sighed. "I don't want to be a Prince, Priya. I just want to get my Mastery and go somewhere where I can make music and see beautiful things. And not get people killed."

Her eyes filled with tears. "I know," she said, struggling to speak as much as he had been. "But it isn't fair. I have brothers and sisters who can marry for Carthak. But Papa seems to think some Tortallan nobleman – and I don't want to live here! It's beautiful, but I belong at home. With you."

Kash tried not to figure out which Tortallan nobleman the Emperor might have chosen for his eldest daughter. She distracted him in any case by kissing him, lightly at first but then firmly, desperately, her tears damp and cool on his cheeks. Would this be the last time? he wondered, and knew she was wondering the same.

He lost himself in her need for a few minutes, almost forgetting the disaster that was his quest for his Mastery, the insanity that was his life and the family he was ashamed to face, until he forced himself back into the real world. When her hands reached under his tunic he put a hand on her shoulder and pushed her away gently. "You are betrothed..."

"Did I say I was betrothed already?" she demanded, drawing her hand back. "I said he was looking."

"Still, we shouldn't be doing this," he said quietly, though the words stung him. "It's death to even kiss an unwed Carthaki princess." She knew that already, of course, and had known since the first, but they had not let it come between them until now, when it was necessary. The university was far away from the Imperial Palace, and there had been a lot more freedom. To do this in the same building as the royal family was madness, she had to realise that. "You must go," he insisted. "Before someone finds you."

She stared at him, clearly hurt, but knowing he was right. She stood up and smoothed out her skirts. "Will I see you at dinner?" she asked, not looking at him.

He grimaced. He couldn't bear the thought of facing all those people again. "Get Ajit to tell Ypit – no, Passinet, that I'm ill," he suggested. "I think I'll sleep through dinner tonight."

She nodded and left without another word. Kash laid down with a sigh, touching his lips lightly with his fingertips. The gentle touch of her small, soft mouth was still there, the last ghostly reminder of a last forbidden kiss.

~*0*~