Disclaimer: I was not in my right state of mind. Also, I don't own Avatar. Rejoice.
Warnings: Massive breaking of the fourth wall and weirdness. I'm too tired to physically register how tired I am, so I wrote this instead of going to bed.
Four
Katara's Crazy Plan
Now, in retrospect, Aang had to admit that Sokka was right. Of course, Sokka was usually right about those things. After all, Sokka was the practical one. Really, Aang couldn't understand why he hadn't realized this before. Instead he had gone along with Katara's crazy plan, and now… well, I'm getting ahead of myself. You, dearest reader who will, without a doubt leave me a review once you've finished reading this unless you're so turned off by this combination supplication/breaking-of-the-fourth-wall to continue reading, may be wondering what exactly had been Katara's crazy plan, why Sokka had objected to it, and what had come of it.- - -
Perhaps, it is important to state that Toph had agreed with Sokka.
"I have to say Sugar Queen that that is without a doubt the dumbest idea I've ever heard, and I've been traveling with Sokka."
Sokka for once was glad to just have Toph's support in the fact that this was a Very Bad Idea. "Thank you Toph. See Katara, I'm not the only one who thinks this is a stupid plan."
Unfortunately for his ego, Toph continued: "Yeah who would ever want to date Sokka?" (Toph didn't want to date Sokka. No she did not. Not at all. No siree. Of all the things in the world that Toph wanted to do, Sokka was not among them. Wait, that didn't come out right…)
Sokka came to the defense of his ego: "I'll let you know Toph that a good number of very pretty girls have wanted to date me."
"Exactly!" Katara interrupted. "Don't you see Sokka, you're really popular with the ladies, and clearly she has trouble with approaching guys—
"Yeah. Maybe because she's a psychotic demon bitch." Aang flinched at the strength of Sokka's words, but given the rather large hole in his back, he couldn't say that he disagreed.
Katara crossed her arms. "But think of the good you could do the world," she implored.
"No. No. No. I do the world good by coming up with good ideas and making sure you kids don't get yourself killed. I do not do the world good by attempting to seduce sexually frustrated megalomaniacs who could fry me to a crisp in a second."
Katara looked upset. Aang didn't like it when Katara was upset. It made her less pretty. So he came to her defense. Because maybe if he did she might smile. Or, realize that he was good and noble and true and fall desperately in love with him and go repopulate the Air Nomads with him. A smile would be good too, though. "Oh come on Sokka, there are lot's of redeeming qualities to her."
Sokka was not amused. "Oh, really, like what?"
Aang couldn't think of any. "Um… She's not horribly deformed."
"Right, of course!" Sokka replied sarcastically. "I'll march up to her, tell her she's not horribly deformed and then we'll go live happily ever after."
"You're being unreasonable Sokka. She's got to be the most beautiful girl we've met on our travels; she's cool, collected, intelligent. Not only that but she's strong and powerful, and probably insanely rich. Her bending is fantastic. Come on, if her sex is anything like her bending…"
That was too much for Sokka. He almost gagged. "Ok Katara, you know what? If Azula is so friggin' great why don't you date her?"
Aang now was furious. "That is the stupidest thing I've ever heard!"
But suddenly a strange look entered Katara's eyes. It was a look of soft realization. It was the beginning of the end.
- - -
Now the war was over. From the way people were carrying on, you'd think there had never been a war. Here he was, guest of honor in Fire Lord Ozai's Palace at the wedding of Princess Azula to Katara. It wasn't fair. How come Azula, certifiable psychotic bitch get to marry beautiful, kind Katara while, he, Aang, the Avatar—hope of the nations, had to sit next to a very drunk Prince Zuko.
"Yer know Avataaaar," Zuko slurred, "if this weren't so frikkin' hilarious, I'd be kinda ussed."
Aang turned angrily to look at Zuko. "What do you have to be upset about?"
Zuko blinked. "Katara's one hot babe. Hell. Azula's one hot babe. Dasss two hot babes taken off the market." Then he started giggling. "Bud I guess this means Daddy has to make me Fire Lord now." Aang sighed. "Wass wrong, Avatar?"
"Katara's one hot babe."
Zuko blinked. Then he started to laugh. "So waddaya gonna do?"
Aang shrugged. "Well normally in these stories I end up with Azula."
Zuko laughed some more. "Wanna make out?"
Aang looked at the Prince confusedly. "No, not really."
"Good. I diddin wanna really. Besides according to the spoiler forums there's like a good reason why we shouldn't hook up. An' iss not like I couldn't get a hotter piece of—
Zuko passed out at that point. And then, Aang was truly alone.
A/N: Is this crap? If it is, please flame this so I can take it down. Don't flame because you don't like the pairing though. It's supposed to be a joke.