Title: I Can't Stop This Feeling I've Got.
Summary: All of Craig's concentration seems to be directed at a fair-haired, blue-eyed boy he knows all too well.
Author's Note: Takes place during the episode aired on 16/05/07, and then takes a different route.
Word Count: 1,986
Disclaimer: Neither John Paul McQueen nor Craig Dean belong to me, I'm just playing.
------
Part 4
Craig and JP were walking through the village towards the Dog, hand in hand, neither seeing (nor caring) about, the looks that were being thrown into their direction.
Laughing at some silly comment that JP had just made, Craig leaned in close and kissed him passionately for a few seconds. Smiling at the sign of affection, JP pushed the door to the pub wide open and gently shoved Craig before him playfully.
Stumbling inside, laughing heartily, Craig threw a playful punch to John Paul's shoulder.
The door closing behind the two of them, the pub was suddenly too quiet for this early on a Saturday night. Both boys were now facing the bar, and all eyes were on them. Frankie was sobbing into Jack's shoulder; Darren had a look that Craig couldn't decipher.
But it was his former girlfriend, Sarah, who shocked him the most. She was almost snarling, eyes red with rage. Carrying her drink, a double vodka and coke – her usual – she got to her feet and practically stomped her way over to him.
"Fag!" She growled at him with a quiet intensity. She upturned her drink on his head, and then shattered the glass at his feet.
His eyes watering, he watched his mum race through and to the stairs that led to the flat above.
He then saw his brother and Nancy. Nancy was shooting daggers in his direction. Jake, on the other hand, had a look of deep disgust on his face. He too got to his feet, but his drink remained on the table he had been sitting at.
It was in slow motion when he felt his brother's fist connect with his chin. Knocked to the floor, he felt the air be pushed from his lungs as Jake kicked him in the stomach.
He was a sobbing mess on the floor, the hot taste of metal in his mouth from the punch he had received.
Hands trembling, he pushed himself to his knees and threw a hurt look at John Paul for not coming to his aid.
But the scowl on JP's face was like a knife to his heart. Leaning ever closer to Craig, JP's short "why can't you just make up your mind" cut him deep, and the shove he received was a lot less playful as the one that he got when they entered the pub.
Falling back to the ground, he watched JP's feet vanish as the door to the pub closed. Sobbing painfully, Craig again pushed himself to a standing position and, ignoring the looks of disgust and hatred, ran upstairs to his room.
Collapsing on his bed, he threw his pillow over his head and bawled, letting his salty hot tears drench his pillow.
And then the strangest thing happened. He heard a distant beeping. Thinking it was his phone, he patted his pockets. His phone wasn't there. The beeping was getting louder and louder, and was abruptly stopped. He then felt his bed rock, and a warm comforting hand be placed to his chest.
"Craig, wake up, we have to get up, the exam is in an hour," JP said, gently prodding Craig's sleeping body. Nothing seemed to be working, so he had a thought.
Lying himself on top of Craig, he kissed him chastely at first, before stroking his tongue across his lips.
The purr of excitement that Craig emitted told him that his plan had worked. Rolling off the just-awake boy, JP watched as Craig brushed the remaining sleep from the corners of his eyes.
"Morning," Craig said, sounding incredibly sexy, his voice coarse, JP thought.
"Hi," JP said, smiling across at him.
"Did you say something about an exam?"
"Yeah."
"I need to get home before heading to school. I don't actually have anything to write with; I left it all in the exam room yesterday afternoon."
"You could borrow some of my stuff, if you wanted?" JP offered, getting to his feet to search through the mess of his room for some clean boxers.
"I would take you up on that offer, but I need to change my clothes."
Joining JP's side, Craig found his own clothes and dressed as JP did the same. Smiling at each other, Craig grasped at John Paul and kissed him as if his life depended on it.
JP stuttered and gasped as the kiss ended, taking Craig's hand and leading him out of his room and down the stairs.
When they reached the living room, Craig dropped his hand from JP's. Seeing the hurt look on his lover's face, Craig cupped his friends face in his hand, "I have to break up with Sarah, and she has to hear it from me, not from your Michaela."
Accepting the explanation, John Paul lead him into the kitchen.
"Morning, John Paul," Myra said as she filled up a number of bowls on the counter with cereal.
Turning to her face him, she finally noticed that Craig was standing shoulder-to-shoulder with her son. Myra may not have accepted her son's choice in lifestyle in the beginning, but she had grown accustomed to it. And she wasn't stupid. Walking past her only son's room last night, she heard sounds of moaning and groaning and squeaking bed springs coming through the door and she had assumed it was John Paul and his boyfriend Spike. More fool me, she thought, looking pointedly at her son.
"Hello, Craig."
"Mrs. McQueen," Craig replied, sheepishly, as he became entranced by a loose thread in his trainer.
"Didn't know you where here, love," Myra said, glancing at the reddening faces on both lads.
"Oh, um, Craig came by last night and we were so deep in revision, we lost track of time. It was too late for Craig to go home; he might've waked the whole flat. She he slept on the floor in my room," John Paul lied. He didn't like that he was already doing it again, after all that happened with Jacqui and Carmel and Alek. But he knew he couldn't tell her the truth either, not without scaring Craig off, which was something he never wanted to do. Ever.
Looking sceptical, because she knew what had really happened between the two; Myra offered two bowls of corn flakes to both boys, which hungrily took.
Craig practically wolfed down his breakfast, and, checking before hand to see if the coast was clear, pressed a tender kiss to JP's cheek.
"See ya in a few, alight?"
"Uh-hm," JP answered, his mouth full with cereal.
Hearing the front door close, Myra tested the waters. She poked her head around the corner and saw that her son was the only one left in room.
"How do you feel about your exam?" She asked, entering the room proper.
"As okay as I can be."
Silence surrounded them so much that all that could be heard was the rattling of JP's spoon hitting the bottom of the bowl.
"Anything you want to talk to me about?" Myra asked, looking pointedly at her son.
"Nothing that I can think of," he lied again, feeling his ears burn.
"John Paul, Jacq told us what happened when we got in yesterday."
John Paul gulped, "She did?"
"Yeah. Are you alright, son? How did he take it?"
"How did who take what?" John Paul asked confusedly. He had suddenly thought his mum knew about his and Craig's sleeping together, but that didn't fit in with her words.
"Your boyfriend, the break up."
"He took it well, I think. I know it was sudden and all, but I didn't feel for him the way he felt for me, and I just couldn't keep pulling him along," John Paul replied. When did he start lying to everyone in his family? Could any of them tell?
Placing his now empty bowl on the coffee table before him, he glanced at the clock and realised his exam was in twenty minutes, "I best be off, my exam's soon," He walked towards the door, grabbing his back pack off the bottom stair, and rushed out of the house.
Staring at where JP had just been, Myra sighed heavily, took the two empty bowls from the table and moved to the kitchen. She sighed again, throwing some washing-up liquid in the sink and turning on the hot water tap. She really wished her life hadn't gotten as complicated as it had over the past couple of weeks.
------
The exam was a blur to Craig, which wasn't a good sign. But at least this time he knew what he wanted… who he wanted. As soon as it had started, it was over and done with.
Now at his locker, he dumped his stuff in it and turned to find John Paul.
But that idea was cut short when Sarah jumped him and forced her mouth on his. He knew he couldn't just push her off him and start spitting the taste of her out of his mouth, he had messed around with her too much to do that to her. No, he had to let her down gently. How to let her down gently was what was causing him the trouble.
Breaking the kiss, Sarah smiled contentedly and looped her arm with Craig's and began to lead him towards the exit. AS the they turned the final corner, Craig glanced over his shoulder and saw his blond haired, blue eyed boy stuck to the floor in the middle of the corridor.
"So, where're we heading to?"
Leaning against him as they walked through the school grounds, Sarah said, "For a celebratory drink! The worst of the exams are over!"
"The Dog, then?"
"Where else would we go at noon?"
Laughing, Craig searched the crowd now behind him for John Paul, to see if he was following them.
Halfway towards the Dog, Craig suddenly stopped walking without warning, which made Sarah almost trip and fall flat on her face.
"I thought you of all people would be up for a drink! What's up?"
"I just don't feel up to drinking," Craig lied, feeling his stomach turn.
"What do you feel up to?" Sarah said suggestively, licking her upper lip with her tongue as she twirled a lone strand of hair around her finger.
Swallowing audibly, Craig shoved his hands into his pockets.
"Yours or mine?" Sarah asked.
"Yours, Darren will be there and Steph and Mum and Jack."
"Okay, that decides it then."
"But what about your dad?" Craig suddenly remembered that Mike Barnes had been bashed in the skull with a brick not four days ago. He shivered at his own antics… anything to not have to touch Sarah.
"He's still in hospital, remember? Mum won't have left his side, so the only one at mine is Amy, and I can just tell her to take Leah out for a walk or something, give us some alone time."
Craig's thoughts failed him as Sarah knotted her fingers through his and they started walking to her house.
Beep beep, his phone went. Apologising to Sarah, he pulled it from his pocket and pressed the button to show the message. It was from JP and it read:
Are you going to do it now? My place is empty, so you can come over when it's done. John Paul. X.
Using just the virtual kiss from JP as strength, Craig was thrown when he realised he was standing inside the Barnes hall. Sarah was calling for Amy, but there was no answer.
"Must be out already," was Sarah's assumption.
And all too soon, Craig found himself on his back, Sarah above, her tongue down his throat. He could feel the bile burning it's way up his throat and used his hands to lift Sarah off him.
"What's wrong?" She asked, seeing his sick-stricken face.
"We need to talk," He answered, his voice barely loud enough for Sarah to hear.