Today was the most terrifying day of my life.
When Sadiq messaged me … I never ran so hard before. I wish I found you sooner. I wish I had turned around. I'm so sorry. Today was a nightmare come to life. I thought I was going to lose you. I thought those were your last moments. I know you didn't want me to know… I guess I can't blame you. I would have died if I found out after.
I only hope I offered you some comfort. Holding you during that, feeling you shudder and grow cold. Hearing your voice fade into whispers and seeing you cry. I was watching you die in my arms. It was the hardest thing I have ever done. I haven't stopped crying all day. I was so scared, but I'm glad I found you. I don't think I ever prayed so hard. I was begging and pleading for you to live. When they took you away I went and got Sadiq. I was screaming the entire way. We waited for hours for you to be okay.
They told us you're stable now, but exhausted. We'll come visit you tomorrow if they let us in. I just … please. I want you to understand that I love you. Please don't leave me. Please don't do this. It might be selfish for me to ask, but I don't care. Please don't go. Please. I'm begging.
You looked so surprised when I ran to you, but you shouldn't be. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry I didn't find you sooner. But I couldn't bear the thought of losing you. I obviously spent the whole time sobbing, holding you, and trying to keep you awake.
I won't let you die.
Lovino closed the little notebook, the room empty and echoing with the humming and beeps of the EEG monitor. His heart rate was up, and the IV in his arm stung as he hugged the cover to his chest.
He could still see it, Antonio running into the ravine under the bridge, facing the wrong way. He was right there, but it was too late. The pills were already getting to work, the alcohol making it worse. He just needed sleep.
Antonio looked around frantically. Ran in the opposite direction. He saw someone lean over the bridge. Saw two people on the opposite side. Horses. He liked horses. God, he was tired. He couldn't move. It was getting cold.
Oh, Antonio.
Antonio.
'I'm here.'
He never had seen the Spaniard run so fast in his life.
"Oh god! Oh God no, no no no! Stay with me. Please stay! I'm sorry."
'I'm sorry.'
"Idiot," he sobbed quietly into the dark room, the blinds closed and blocking out the sun, "Why are you the one apologizing."
A/n: I just got out of the hospital. This is a real letter. Names have been changed (obviously)