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Chapter 4: In Which One Investigates the Causes of a Snowstorm

It is particularly mortifying not to be able to something five-year-old children can manage quite easily, was River's sour thought. It was not that the Doctor was a bad teacher, not at all. Gone was his customary moral superiority, the slightly patronizing air and the ego. He patiently taught her to snowplow, to use the poles and to turn. No, the problem was her. For all that she was usually so good with physical things, with strength and speed and flexibility, skiing eluded her. In particular, the ability to stop.

"No, no, lean forward!"

"I did lean forward!"

"Not so far forward that you fall!"

"I didn't mean to! Do you think I meant to do this… again?"

This, meant that she was tangled up like a pretzel, after log rolling down the bunny hill. She scowled, noticing all the small children neatly curving around her prone form as they glided past.

"You can't just lie there," he said calmly, reaching out to help her up.

"Then can't we take a break?" She yanked on her hat again. If only it would stay down, maybe her ears wouldn't be so cold that they felt as though they were ringing.

"But you're doing well! It's just that your skis keep crossing and that makes it hard for you to stop…"

She looked up at him, bottom lip trembling, and he paused, mid-sentence. Were those tears in her eyes?

He'd wanted this to be fun. After that hotel and dropping the Ponds off at their new home -not to mention a certain date in the future he wanted to run and avoid for as long as possible- he felt that he deserved some fun. And when he thought of who might be the best company for that… well, it had to be her. No one else, really; and for so many reasons. Because he'd fought so long against it, but River Song had been always on his mind, insinuating herself into his thoughts from the moment they'd first met. Because every adventure, no matter what happened, was always so enjoyable with her around; teasing and mocking and challenging and assisting him at every turn.

And, honestly… because Demon's Run and Berlin hadn't really been that long ago, for him. Even more than his fondness for her company, guilt ate away at him. He owed her so much, in her every regeneration. Little Melody Pond, who he'd been unable to save. Mels, brainwashed and violent. And most of all, River Song, who'd died the first time he'd met her.

He'd always had a feeling after the Library of who she would be to him; and his suspicion was even stronger when he'd fnally understood who and what she was. There was a secrecy and power in his name after all, and a good reason why he didn't share it… but she'd known it; and that alone told him more about their eventual relationship than anything else could.

And he'd promised, he wouldn't rewrite even one line. But there was still the nagging thought in the back of his mind that he owed her the most amazing things and extraordinary experiences in the world to make up for… well, for everything. Something even better, if that was possible, than just time and space…

So he reached one gloved finger out, tipping her face up toward him. "Once more?" he pleaded. "I promise you'll get it."

She grumbled inarticulately, and his hearts sank. He'd wanted her to enjoy this. He'd wanted to give her something special and different and fun.

But frustration was making her cross. And a cross River Song was a bad, bad thing indeed.

"I promise you'll be able to stop," he promised recklessly, "and then this will be so much fun you won't even want to stop."

She glared at him, lips set in a frown.

"But, alright. If you still don't want to ski anymore after one more go, then we'll take a break. Hot chocolate will make you feel better."

"Brandy will make me better."

"Hot chocolate does it for me. And marshmallows. Mmm. But you can have brandy if you want. With marshmallows on top?" He was babbling, very aware he was babbling, but at least the frown was gone from her face, and a bit of good humor back in her eyes.

"Brandy with marshmallows?" she asked, as they shuffled back toward the lift.

"Everything is better with marshmallows."

She smirked, tugging her hat down again and rubbing her ears. Beside her, the Doctor was doing the same thing. The problem with skiing, he thought, is that your ears get cold. So cold you can almost hear them shouting at you that they just want to get back indoors, near a roaring fire.

"Alright?" River asked.

"Yes, yes; fine. Ears a bit cold. Nothing to worry about."

"Me too. Did you really not have any bigger hats? This one won't stay down."

He cast an eye over the hat poking up on her head, poofing over her curls. "None that I was willing to allow you near."

She gave him a look, but chose to say nothing. Really, the ringing in her ears simply would not go away. She touched an earlobe thoughtfully, wishing that she could rub some warmth back into it. But touching her ear with her cold, snowy glove was almost as bad as simply letting the air and the wind do its' work.

"Funny about this snowstorm," the Doctor said from behind her on the lift. "It came in so suddenly. It had been so warm before this."

"I wouldn't mind it being a bit warmer," River said, tugging her ears again. She pulled down her hat once more.

"No, you don't want it too warm when you ski."

"Becomes waterskiing then, does it?"

"Exactly. Which is nice but…" He broke off as they reached the top of the hill.

"Now, remember. Tips of the skis point in, but don't let them cross. Lean backwards to go forward, lean front to stop." Ignoring the fleeting look of fear in her eyes, he patted her shoulder. "Off you go!"

Feeling distinctly pigeon-toed, River pushed off and started down the hill. She could do this. She could do this. She could even…stop. Which she did. And then looked up, the ringing in her ears becoming an unmanageable shriek that was becoming impossible to ignore, and then…

Uh-oh.

The Doctor, skiing down to her yelped in surprise and joy.

"You did it, you did it! River, you did it, you stopped! No falling over or anything! See, I told you could do it."

"Doctor, just… stop."

"But I'm so proud of you! You did it! And now we can keep skiing and having fun together because the next time it'll be easier and-"

"Just stop!" River pleaded, her eyes frozen on the trees before them. There was a rustling, a shape moving and twitching and lurking between the trunks, half hidden by the needles.

So he stopped. And he looked where she did, and froze.

"What is that?" Her voice was thin, and she clutched at his arm.

"It can't be."

"Doctor, I think I know what it is, and you think you know what it is, so don't say that it can't be."

"Ah.." The Doctor tried to crabwalk backwards up the bunny hill, but River's grip on his arm refused to let him move. "What do you think it is?" he hedged.

"It looks like-"

A roaring broke through the air, so loud that now she knew it was not just her but everyone who could hear it.

"A yeti."

"Ah, yes, a yeti. Strange that it's here, they usually only inhabit the Himalayas, and Linnei, one small planet in the Vergis Cascade. Actually," he paused, "on Linnei, the yetis are revered as snow gods. They travel in a swirl of snow, bringing storms in their…wake."

A silence fell over them as they both reflected on what he had just said. A silence punctuated by intermittent roars of the yeti, as it crashed through the trees before them.

"What did you say, before?" River asked in a faint voice. "It had been a warm winter, and then…"

He turned to her, eyes wide. "Sudden snowstorm."

"Like the type which…?"

"Would herald the coming of the yeti."

"Ah."

"Yes. River?"

"Yes, sweetie?"

"Run!"

He freed his arm from her hand, and began skiing down the hill, calling out a general alarm for parents to take their children, for the other skiers to leave the slopes and adjourn to the lodge for hot chocolate and marshmallows and brandy. There was a flurry of activity, as people looked up and saw the thing looming within the trees and hastened to do as he commanded. And River was still frozen on the hill.

"Run!" The Doctor yelled over his shoulder back at her.

"This isn't running, it's skiing!" she screamed back.

"Then ski!"

Her mind was looping in circles, taking tally of everything. The only way to describe it -as she later wrote in her journal- would be if one was to take equal parts terror and an odd fear of a massively man-shaped snow creature bellowing in the trees. Add in a large dollop of uncoordination on the slopes, and a dash of River's ever-present worry that she would just not be able to stop and would just keep rolling forever until she became a cartoonish ball of snow with skis and her hair sticking out of it...

But there was nothing for it. She couldn't keep standing there. So she took a deep breath. And then one more for luck.

And then launched herself down the rest of the bunny hill, snowplowing for all she was worth and just praying she'd be able to stop and then manage to run in skis and catch up with the Doctor, wherever he was, and…

"Oof." Well, she'd stopped alright. A nice, comforting pine had thoughtfully provided a brake, and she threw her arms around the trunk, hugging it to keep standing upright even as her feet tried to keep moving, splayed on either side of the tree.

"A lover of nature, are you now?" The Doctor's voice, light and amused came from behind her. She slowly let her arms drop from around the tree, turning slowly to try detangling the branches from her hair and yanking down that stupid hat again.

"It seemed like an easier way to stop," she remarked.

"Seems like a painful way to stop. I told you, just lean forward."

"Oh… shut up."

He was standing, framed in the TARDIS doors, and she stumbled over to him. He must have gone to get it, she realized, as he bent to help her out of her skis, and she lurched inside.

"Do you have a plan?" she asked. "There's a yeti on the loose in Switzerland."

"Not just any yeti, but an alien yeti from Linnei. I don't know how it got here, but must have been some type of Transdimensional Portal. Maybe something due to people at Leysin wishing for snow, and the yeti -as a form of snow god- hearing them and managing to find it's way here…" The Doctor rubbed his hands together. She wearily assumed it was both in glee, and to warm his fingers.

"Doctor. Plan?"

"Oh, right." He gave her an apologetic smile, and tapped her nose with the tip of one ice cold finger. "I've gotten the TARDIS to put a force field around him, and we'll transport him back to Linnei. No harm done to him, he can't eat any of the people here on Earth, and Leysin will have had a wonderful snow for their skiers, but no more monster."

River made her way up to the console, typed in the coordinates for Linnei, and released the brakes.

"You can let me fly," he said, coming up next to her and nudging her with his hip.

She managed not to growl.

They landed in Linnei, deposited the yeti back in his normal cave, and sagged down together, just inside the doors.

"Fun?" The Doctor asked, glancing at her from the corner of his eye.

"Normal?" she countered.

"Maybe not so normal. But you did suggest it."

She had a feeling he'd never let her forget that.

"I was wrong."

"I can't believe it!" he crowed. "Doctor River Song, finally admitting she was wrong about something?"

Too tired even to glower, she pinched him. Hard. The Doctor let out a little yelp, and then settled down, pulling her head onto his shoulder. She felt his lips brush over her forehead, and then his whole body convulsed into a chuckle.

"What?"

"Your hat," he said simply. She caught a reflection of herself in the glass floor. Her hair, wild around her face. Eyes still a bit wider than normal. And that stupid, stupid hat that had been plaguing her all day. No longer even just sitting on top her head, but now completely perched like a tent.

"Aaargh!" she screamed with frustration, ripping the thing off as she reached behind herself, opening the TARDIS doors and pitching it out into the snow. If her gun was more readily accessible, she would have shot it… but no, she'd left the gun by the console.

The Doctor was clutching his stomach, sliding down until he was almost in the fetal position, still laughing.

"It's been like that," he said, wheezing, "since you were showing that tree some love."

She debated pinching him again, and then drew in a deep breath. No. It was alright. She stood up, calm and dignified, sweeping past the still giggling Doctor on the floor, heading off to the stairs.

"River?" He managed to sit up, and she turned back to him. He was wearing a slightly hopeful, yet slightly shifty expression.

"Yes?"

"I was thinking, while we're still on Linnei… we could go for one more ski?"

She paused. Debated what to say.

"Oh no, my love. I think not. The time for skiing like a normal couple is done. I think, from the moment the alien yeti appeared, that ship had passed. Do you know what it's time for?"

He bit his lip. "No?"

"Brandy."