He had the dragon outlined in black paint on his wall. It had taken him three hours to make it how he wanted. Jake didn't know whether or not this was a step in healing, or if this was a memorial to the dragon side that felt dead to him. Haley poked her head around the door.

"Wow. It looks perfect. You're even better than I thought, big brother."

Jake dropped the brush. He didn't feel anything over the compliment, but he didn't want to seem rude to Haley either. Besides, nothing was perfect, especially this dragon. Especially what this dragon meant. And who were either of them to judge perfection anyhow?

"Fu says supper is finished. Are you coming out?" Haley continued.

Jake nodded. He needed something to do while the paint dried anyhow. He stood up, careful to put the cap back on the black paint. He wondered where Haley had gotten the money for the paint. It couldn't have been cheap. He wondered if she had said anything to his parents. He felt a stir of curiosity, but didn't ask. He wasn't ready to say that many words yet.

He followed Haley to the kitchen. Fu had a five star meal laid out on the kitchen table. Fu was not only a master of potions, but master of recipes.

"You are staying the night, yes?" Gramps was asking Haley.

"Yeah." Haley took a seat. "Mom and Dad are going to this funeral for some great-aunt that I never met. They're staying all tonight and maybe Saturday night too. I dunno. They said that they would call you to let you know details."

Jake played with his fork. He was surveying the food. He wasn't in the mood for any of the meat Fu had ready for them. He wanted the potatoes. And maybe some of the peas. But he was in the mood for the mashed potatoes with lots of butter.

"Jake?"

He looked down at Haley.

"Can I stay in your room with you tonight?"

He shrugged. It didn't matter to him either way. It was either his room or the couch, and Gramps' couch was not at all comfortable. He wanted to work on his wall some more. It was the first time in a long time that he felt like doing anything slightly productive. This want to paint his wall, to fill in his dragon, his self, with colour and life seized him.

He put a few spoonfuls of the potato on his plate, and about half of the butter. He ate it slowly, taking one tiny bite at a time. He didn't like eating anymore. There was something about the repetitive chewing and swallowing motion that his mind rejected. But he ate because he knew his family was keeping a careful eye on him. By the time he got to the bottom of his potato pile, the white masses were cold. He finished them, though, because Haley was right next to him. She had finished several minutes ago, but was sticking to his side.

He would never be able to tell her, but he really appreciated her being there.

He rose slowly, heading back down the hall to his room, Haley hot on his heels. "Are you gonna continue painting, Jake? Because it looks really good. I bet colour will make it look even better. I wonder how many coats of paint you're going to have to put on before it covers up the gray?"

Jake shrugged. When she was inside the room, curled back up on his bed, he closed the door. He didn't want Gramps or Fu to see what he was doing. He knew that he couldn't keep this a secret but he didn't want anyone reading anymore into this painting than there was. He was not doing this because he wanted to be a dragon again. He was doing it because somewhere in his head a long dormant voice was making him think that this was what he had to do.

Haley rolled the blankets up, making a little nest for herself.

Jake knelt on the plush carpet, reaching for the black to start filling in the claws.

"Haley," he croaked after a minute.

"Yes?"

"Window, please." Talking was exhausting. No wonder he had stopped.

"Since you said please …" Haley pushed open the windows, letting the paint fumes wash outside. "I'm going to go get a stereo and some music, okay?"

Jake shrugged. He didn't listen to music anymore but Haley could do what she wanted. He owed her a lot, he knew. And he had a feeling that he was going to owe her a lot more. She returned, putting in a CD that was some poppy beat that he didn't recognize. But she seemed content to lay there; listening to music and watching him paint.

It was three in the morning and the dragon was finished. There were still a few places he wanted to touch up. But he took a step back and surveyed his handy work. The creature looked like it was about to leave the wall, flapping its wings and flying away. The fire looked like it would burn you if you stepped too close.

Jake set the paint brush down, going to his bed. Haley had managed to stay awake to see the end result. "Wow."

Jake crossed to the window, staring over the New York skyline. The cold night air washed over his skin. He wished he could see the stars better.

"Doesn't looking at the dragon, feeling the wind, make you want to go flying?" Haley asked. "Don't you want to take flight again, be a dragon?"

Jake couldn't tear his gaze away from the streetlight by the shop.

"Jake," he looked over. She had transformed into her pink dragon self. "Let's go flying."

He slammed the window shut. He grabbed his comforter off his bed and left the room. He shut the door behind him, going to sleep on the uncomfortable couch that his legs were way too long for. Flying? He would never fly again unless it was in an airplane. But he felt different. It took him a moment to identify the feeling. Panic. He felt panicked. He hadn't felt this way in forever. He hadn't had a single reason to. But the thought of flying, once the only thing that could make him feel right, was the one thing that made him feel awful.

He pulled the blanket over his head. He didn't want to think of any of this. His life was the way it was for a reason. It wasn't going to go back. He wasn't going to go back. The American Dragon was dead.

Despite what the painting on his wall was saying.

"Jake!"

He opened one eye to find Gramps standing over him.

"Time to wake up."

Jake obeyed, sitting up.

"It's time to get to work."

Jake didn't understand. Work? He didn't do anything. He didn't want to do anything. He liked staying inside of his mind, feeling the breeze on his face and generally wandering where he wanted. They wanted him in school, so he went. They couldn't ask much more of him. Not without sending him back to that place. That place of drug dealers and being outside of your own body and not knowing what you were doing but needing it anyway.

"Now, go clean the shop." Gramps pointed downward, before turning into his blue dragon self. "I have goblins to take care of." He slipped out the window. Jake looked at the window.

"Jake? I'm sorry about last night." Haley was standing by the end of the couch. "I didn't mean to push you. You were just … I forgot that you weren't the same. You just seemed fixed."

Jake shied away from the word. Fixed meant that he had been broken. And if he wasn't fixed, that meant he was still broken. He had never considered himself 'broken' before. Did the scars make him broken? The scars from drugs, the scars he had caused himself or the scars from fighting? No. At the most, those scars could be considered cracks. Drugs were from when he failed himself. The scars he had caused to himself were from when he failed everyone else. And the scars from fighting were from when he was still doing the right thing. If he was broken at all, it was because he was not a dragon. He was not whole at all with that part of himself gone. But he didn't know if he wanted it back.

Did this mean he would be broken forever?

"We should go clean the shop." Haley continued. "I heard Gramps telling you to do it. Actually, last night when I was brushing my teeth I heard him and Fu talking about you."

"Why?"

"They're going to try to ease you back into training." Haley held her breath after she released the words.

Jake went rigid. Training? No. He wouldn't. They couldn't make him. The American Dragon was dead. DEAD!

"They're not going to make you transform, but Gramps wants to keep you in top physical shape. Just in case. And he's getting old Jake. He needs help. At least around the shop." Jake stood up, and let Haley lead him downstairs.

"Here is your assignment." Rotwood was handing out the partner assignment.

Rose felt a weird flutter of excitement. It wasn't for the school work, it was for Jake. She had been sitting next to him for about a week and a half now, and she was more intrigued by him than ever. She hadn't heard him say a word yet, but he had stopped twitching and would even look at her now when she started to ramble, which she did often.

"Well, looks like we're stuck together for a while," she said as she picked up the piece of paper which had a long, long list of tasks that had to be completed.

"This will be your only class period to work on this. Due date is at the top."

"This is due," she looked at the page, "on Halloween." Rose looked again at the daunting list of tasks. "Okay, so task one. Pick a magical creature that you think resembles your partner."

She offered Jake a paper and a black pen. "We have to keep track of this somehow."

Jake had not held a writing utensil in months. It seemed too small for his hand. He put the pen to the paper and wrote messily Faerie. And he was not talking about Rotwood's version of faeries, but the version he knew. Beautiful with a mischievous streak.

"Oh, thanks. Well," Rose had her own page. "I think that if you were a magical creature, you would be a dragon."

If asked why she picked 'dragon' for Jake, she wouldn't be able to tell you. Given the fact that she hated dragons, and had hunted/killed her fair share, you wouldn't think that she would have said it in relation to a boy she liked. But she saw in him some of a dragon's traits. She saw a certain discipline in his eye, magnificence, pride. She saw honor, justice, truth. He just seemed a dragon to her, a mighty dragon.

Jake's heart clenched. A dragon? He would rather be a troll, a goblin, a brownie. But a dragon? That just struck too close to home. If even she could see the traits of a dragon within him, perhaps he could not escape it. Perhaps someday he would be a dragon again. But he was not ready to go down that road of pondering his fate, his future, his dragon side. Inside, he claimed his dragon side was dead, but there was still something that he felt, with every breath, every beat of his heart, that was dragon like. That was fire and flying and protecting the city like he was born to do.

"Well, that was simple enough. Task 2. Find out five facts about your partner." Rose read. "Five facts about me. My favourite colour is pink. I have a birth mark on my right arm. I'm trained in martial arts. I want to go in a hot air balloon. And my favourite food is cashews. Weird, huh? But I can't help but love them. What about you?"

He scribbled. It took him a really long time to write it all down, but Rose didn't mind in the least. They were finally able to communicate.

My favourite colour is green.

I live with my grandfather.

I have a dog named Fu.

I make really good pizza.

I hate pears.

"Pizza? Hmm. I like pizza." Rose bit her lip. "You don't look like a guy who would spend a lot of time in the kitchen."

Jake shrugged. For the first time, he was struck by a desire to talk to someone other than Haley. He wanted to tell her about Haley, about how he only usually made the pizza for her. And how, in the beginning, he would put the weirdest things on it, just to see her smile. She still sometimes dipped the crust in jelly.

"Task 3. Find out five facts about the magical creature you picked for your partner." Rose read. "Okay. Dragons have a soft underbelly. They have a weak spot behind their left ear. Dragon teeth bring good luck. They have excellent night vision. They breathe fire ." Rose concluded. "Your turn."

Faeries have wings.

Mischievous personalities.

They love music

Very creative.

Like honey.

"We are making some awesome progress on this thing," Rose observed, listening to Trixie describe why exactly the boy beside her, who she had learned was called Spud, was like a troll.

"Okay, task 4. Get a picture of you/your partner and compare it to a photo of the magical creature they represent." She thought about it. "I guess this is one of the ones we have to do at home."

Jake nodded, touching his hair. He really should cut it. He didn't like it overly long. He had just become aware of how long it had become. Then again, if he cut it he would have to dye it and get gel to spike it, because it didn't look good any other way. Yet, why did he care what he looked like anyway? They all judged him regardless, simply because he didn't talk, and because they knew something bad had happened. Not many had heard the real story.

"So, look, my house isn't really good for projects. Do you think that we could use your house?"

Gramps' house? Yes. They could use Gramps' house. Where would they go? They couldn't stay down in the shop part, mostly because of the magical artifacts that he had no interest in staring at, and which she couldn't touch. His room, probably. But then she might ask about his painting and he was thinking about covering it up anyway because it was a bad idea and he really hated staring at it.

"Could we?"

Oh yeah. He actually had to answer her question, instead of thinking it the answer. He nodded.

"Cool. So, after school tomorrow?"

He nodded. After school tomorrow was fine.

I don't own anything recognizable. Thank you to my beta Noble6.

~TLL~