Reid hadn't left Luke's side since his encounter with Noah in the canteen. Now he slept, his hands linked with Luke's and his head resting on the bed next to him. They'd tried to make him go home, to tell him that it wasn't healthy spending so long cooped up in a hospital room. But he refused to leave. He wouldn't leave Luke alone, not again. So he'd stayed. He had neck cramp from sleeping in uncomfortable chairs and he'd never gone so long without a sandwich, but he didn't care. He needed to be there for Luke. It had been 4 long days and Luke still hadn't woken up. Noah hadn't been to visit him yet, which angered Reid. Luke had spent all his time at Noah's side during the whole regaining sight ordeal, and Noah couldn't even spare Luke 2 minutes when he needed it the most. Normally Reid wasn't a light sleeper but today when he felt a gentle squeeze on his hand it instantly woke him from his half sleep. He looked up and the only hand on his was Luke's and he felt a huge sense of relief wash over him.

"Luke! Luke, can you here me? Squeeze my hand again if you can hear me." Reid begged. After 30 seconds, Luke hadn't done any thing to show Reid that he was there, and all the hope Reid had began to slowly wash away. He was beginning to get so angry at his brain for making him imagine things like this, for making him hope only to have it snatched away from him. Then he felt the squeeze again. Then he heard a cough. Then Luke's eyes were opening and my god, Reid had never seen anything more beautiful in his life.

"Luke! Luke you're okay." Reid cried, tears falling down his face "I'm just going to get the nurse okay, everything's going…"

"Why am I here?" Luke asked quietly and tiredly, looking like a kicked puppy.

"Because, I found you after you'd…" Reid looked at Luke again, and he looked exhausted so Reid decided now wasn't the right time to explain everything to him, So he decided to avoid ending his sentence "...but none of that matters anymore Luke. You're going to okay, you're going to me okay" Reid smiled leaning in to kiss Luke's lips, but Luke suddenly jerked his head away.

"No! I shouldn't be here! I don't want to be here!" Luke yelled at the top of his voice, his face turning red with fury.

"I'm sure you'll be able to go home soon Luke…" Reid nodded, trying to calm Luke in some way.

"You just don't get it, do you? And I thought you were smart." Luke shook his head as a tear escaped his eye. He continued quietly "I don't want to be here, and I don't mean at the hospital. I thought I'd escaped it all. I thought I'd got away. I don't want to be here at all."

Reid felt everything in his life fall out of place again, just when everything seemed to make sense. He'd told himself over and over that Luke did what he did because of the alcohol in his system, because he wasn't thinking clearly. Now there was no escaping the truth.

"But Luke, you should be here. I need you here. I love you." Reid took Luke's hand and felt tears escape his eyes again. He looked into Luke's eyes and what he saw terrified him. The usual spark in them was gone, and all that was there was nothingness. Reid wished that there was something there, even hurt, pain or anger. His eyes were empty, dead and emotionless, and even after all his years of operating and losing patients, this was the most awful thing he had ever seen. "I love you too much to lose you."

"How?" Luke looked up at him "How can you love me?"

"Because you're perfect." Reid answered, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world, and to him it was.

"I'm as far away from perfect a person can get" Luke replied instantly, in an almost whisper. The emptiness in his eyes filled up with pure, raw pain which made Reid want the nothingness to come back, but as much as he wanted to, he couldn't break eye contact. "I'm spoilt, ugly and everything I touch turns to poison. I've disappointed every one and I've hurt too many people." Then Luke began to repeat Noah's words back to Reid. They were still torturing his mind, eating away at his soul and he had no way of stopping them. "I'm a slut and I throw myself at anyone who gives me the slightest bit of attention. I don't know why but everything I do leads to someone being hurt and I can't do anything right. I'm worthless and useless and I don't know what to do anymore," Luke looked up at Reid with pleading eyes "Without me here everything would be so much better. I love you so much, so I can't hurt you. I just wanted to escape myself. I don't want to be me any more"

Reid gulped and squeezed Luke's hand a little tighter. He'd dealt with the brain so many times but he'd ignored the fact that the brain could be a person's worst enemy. Yes, it could cause happiness, joy and love, but it could also destroy the person living with it. It hurt so much to know that Luke's brain was living off misery and depression when it was controlling such a beautiful person. It was feeding Luke's soul with lies and was forcing him to hate himself. Reid hated the brain, the one thing he'd once loved most in the world. It was trying to poison the most important thing in his life and he had to do everything in his power to stop it.

"None of that's true" Reid caressed Luke's cheek and forced himself to look into Luke's soul destroying gaze. "You are beautiful and you're smart and clever. You're not a slut; I don't even know how you could think that. You just want to be loved, and you are. The only person who doesn't love you is yourself. You haven't turned me to poison, you've done the opposite, you made me a better person. I'm less rude and I'm so much happier. I'm not going to lie to you Luke, being with you has been the most difficult thing I've ever done but I wouldn't change a second of it. You told Noah about us," Reid frowned at this, knowing how hard that must have been. "You are so brave, I don't even have words for it…And your heart…your heart is so good and pure, it's the most incredible thing I've ever come across. You, Luke Snyder, are the single most undisappointing, stunningly beautiful, kindest, most wonderful person I have ever met." Reid smiled, despite the tears that were burning his face like acid.

Luke smiled sadly up at Reid. "Then why don't I feel that way."

Reid pulled Luke into a tight hug. "I don't know and I hate whatever it is that's stopping you from seeing it." He pulled back slightly "Luke…what did Noah say to you?"

Luke felt like he'd been stabbed in the heart too many times to count when he remembered Noah's words.

"Why does it matter?" He gulped

"Because I think he hurt you, and if he did then I'll never forgive him" Reid said, lacing his fingers with Luke's.

"But I hurt him first, so I deserved it." Luke mumbled.

"You didn't hurt him intentionally," Reid yelled, feeling the anger burn like fire throughout his stomach. He was frustrated that Noah still had to make Luke feel like this after everything he'd gone through in the past "And think about it Luke! You only hurt him because he pushed you away over and over again! You were bound to move on; I'm just surprised you didn't do it sooner. So don't you dare tell me that anything he said to you was true, or that you deserve it, because it isn't and you don't! You don't deserve to be hurt at all, you deserve to be loved and I know that I can do that because I do, I love you so much it hurts! I've never felt this way about anyone before and it's killing me Luke."

"I don't deserve to be loved Reid." Luke smiled sadly once again, and then he gently reached out and slowly cupped Reid's cheek. "You deserve so much better. You're the best neurosurgeon in the world, damn it, and I'm just...I'm nothing." Luke gulped and lowered his hand from Reid's face. "I need to ask you something. Why didn't you leave me? Why did you save me?"

"How can you even ask that?" Reid asked quietly. His voice was wobbling and it sounded more like a choked sob than a sentence with real words, but Luke heard it all the same.

Luke looked thoughtful for a moment, as if he were deciding whether or not he should say what he wanted to. Reid nodded at him, as if to give him confirmation to continue, so he did, and what he said shattered both of their hearts.

"Because I can't help wishing you hadn't."