A/N: I MISSED AN UPDATE DAY I'M HORRIBLE GAH SO MUCH PRESSURE. Yep, sorry guys, I've been super busy. However, I have stuff to give you! Yay!

There was something wonderful about growing up in a small, very reserved mountain town. The real world made you uncomfortable. Sometimes people broke out of the mold, but most of the time, the town drew you back in. It was what you were accustomed to, what you knew. A real tight-knit community. It didn't take too long for South Park to have its effects on us. I came back anyways because I had nothing else to do. Bebe came back a few months later. Apparently she could be a famous fashion designer anywhere in the world and she chose her hometown. It was just the two of us for about a year or so. We hung out often, and Kenny even asked me at one point if I had left Wendy for Bebe. No, I wanted to tell him, Wendy had actually left me for Bebe. But I still wasn't sure how much I could trust Kenny. He still wouldn't tell me who "Lee" was. Or why he found someone interesting enough to be more than a fuck buddy with them and decide to go steady for a few years. Eventually, Kyle and Wendy came back to South Park. Blame me and Bebe, blame the small town charm, blame Canada for all I care. Kyle got a job as a doctor at Hell's Pass Hospital and Wendy became an elementary teacher at the local school. I'm sure a lot of people breathed a sigh of relief that there was an actual teacher other than Garrison teaching there. Once it seemed positive that Kyle and Wendy weren't going anywhere, I brought up the subject of marriage with Wendy. We were all positive that we didn't want to spend our lives with anyone else. The only question was how could it could work. I was out with Wendy, walking along the trail that circled Stark's Pond.

"We could move," Wendy suggested. "I mean, Colorado did pass the gay marriage law, but we couldn't settle down here, in South Park."

"I know," I said. "I thought about that too, but I know my parents are going to want to be at my wedding. Kyle's parents would definitely want to be there, invited or not. So I don't know if that would work. Not just that, but we're already settled here." Wendy pursed her lips, thinking over what I said.

"Mine and Bebe's parents would also want to be there…" she said, seeing my point. "Shit Stan, why is this so hard?" I shrugged, wanting to know the answer just as much as her. "Ok, um…" Wendy thought for a while, then snapped her fingers and looked at me with bright eyes. "Marry me Stan."

"What?" I stared incredulously at her. "Wendy you know I-"

"I know, I know, but stay with me here." She took ahold of my hands as if I might try to run away. "If you marry me and Kyle marries Bebe, then it'll all make sense to other people. But then we get houses right next to each other, and I can live with Bebe and you can live with Kyle! All our problems are solved!"

"Wendy you're a genius!" I grinned, pulling her in for a hug. She laughed and hugged back. Her plan was perfect. We went ring shopping later that day, and agreed that she would wear the ring I was going to give to Kyle just so it didn't look suspicious.

XXX

I won't go into unnecessary detail about wedding planning- besides, I wasn't there for most of it. Bebe claimed it was a woman's job, and while Wendy got annoyed at her for being sexist, she agreed to an extent. Besides, Kyle and I weren't interested in the weddings. Sure, they technically were for us, but not exactly. We focused more on finding the perfect houses, ones side by side with a connecting backyard. Clyde sold them to us. He had come back to town too, and even congratulated us on our engagements. I wasn't sure whether to feel bad for leaving him in the dark or laugh at how ignorant he was.

XXX

Kyle and Bebe had a Jewish wedding. I don't think I'd ever seen Kyle's mom happier. Our weddings were back to back and the afterparties were on the same night. I wished I had been able to have my "first dance" with Kyle instead of Wendy, but technically she was my new wife. After a little while, Kenny pulled me off the dance floor.

"Hey, congrats dude," he grinned, holding out a drink for me. I took it and clinked the glass with his. "So… you married your childhood sweetheart. Wow."

"Yeah," I said. "Crazy. We've been together for a while."

"Yeah, yeah. Like, almost twenty years." Kenny took a sip of his drink and mused over that for a while. "Jesus…"

"Not everyone can be bachelor like you," I joked with him.

"Sure." Kenny looked at me with a somewhat concerned face. "Stan… do you still love Kyle?" I blushed. So Kenny did remember that conversation from all those years ago. I stammered something that wasn't words but gave up and chugged the rest of my drink. Kenny reached out and tried to put a hand on my shoulder, but I shrugged him off and avoided eye contact.

"I thought so." Kenny sighed sadly and shook his head. "You know… I really thought you would be different Stan. I thought you and Kyle would break out of this shithole town."

"It's complicated Kenny," I said. "You don't understand. Besides, what about you? You're going nowhere fast either." I felt bad as soon as I said it, but then Kenny laughed and shook his head.

"Actually, I'm moving out to Denver soon," Kenny smiled. "I've got a special someone myself. Gonna start over. A clean slate. I'm sick of this place. If you ever come to your senses, you should join me out there." He clapped a hand on my shoulder and, with his signature Kenny grin, left. I never saw Kenny McCormick after that. For all I knew, he was off in Denver with Lee, never giving South Park a second thought. It doesn't matter though. Because only four of us share the secret.

A/N: Next chapter is the last! Look forward to it!.. when I write it… yep. Also, if you saw #REHASH last night and you're psyched about it like I am, PM me and we can giggle together. Brofist to all you South Park/Pewdiepie fans