Okay, so today my internet broke and I finally decided to catch up with this. With consistent self-prodding, not to mention SUNDAY, I should be able to get myself in gear. And also – please, please don't lynch me! An explanation is coming!

Chapter 4

He'd not been through this box yet.

Admittedly, that was the case with many of his mother's things. Most of them were still in storage in her house – his house, he reminded himself. He still couldn't quite believe that he had a house.

But this was a box she had wanted him to keep with him, and to use its contents as he would (he suspected that she was dropping some kind of hint there), and now he was going to look through and find out why.

It was filled with personal relics, he discovered as he tentatively lifted the lid. Inside, he found all sorts of treasures - trinket boxes, jewellery, expensive clothes, baby things, a beautiful, intricate mirror, and a very small box.

He opened the box, and inside was a beautiful, delicate engagement ring. He turned it over, studying it carefully and imagining it on her hand. Oh, yes. This would be perfect.

~o~

He'd gone to the village the next day, looking for a chain on which to string the ring. He found one that was perfect, slipped it into an envelope - marked "6 Months", as if he needed a reason to share this with Anna - and pocketed it, careful not to allow a single crease, before going downstairs to breakfast the next morning.

It was one of the best breakfasts he'd had in a long time. The "recovery" of his "friendship" with Anna was actually so far progressed that they could even laugh together without raising too many eyebrows. Now that was astonishing, but it was so, so wonderful.

Now she was grumbling lightheartedly, making some comment about how none of the maids seemed to appreciate the meaning of hard work any more. "I have to do it all myself these days, you know. I don't even get the cushions plumped up unless I tell them to do it."

"Carry on like this," he told her, laughing, "and you'll be straight for the housekeeper's position." He lowered his voice, "how many times have you heard Mrs Hughes say the same thing?"

What he didn't say was that she sounded just like her father. It had been a month now, and Anna's wound was still very much open. But he had been able to make a difference, and if there was a hollow quality to her laughter than at least she was laughing again. But these days, she always sounded just like her father.

"I'll have you know I'd make an excellent housekeeper," she scolded him, taking care that nobody else should hear - they were all certain to misunderstand and all that hassle didn't want starting again, not now they'd just about worked past it.

"I imagine you would," he agreed, "guarding that door like a hawk and scolding irreverent housemaids from dawn until dusk. Yes, I can imagine you liking that very much indeed."

She laughed - a beautiful sound, and rarer than he liked. John noticed that they were being observed, and was about to lift his voice just enough to be overheard saying something insignificant, they were interrupted, and that perfect moment gone.

He had achieved his goal, though. The envelope was in her apron pocket.

~o~

She came to him later - of course she did. Tonight, they had a chance, out on the yard, as hidden as possible. He waited for her, and she came, with that smile as wide and beautiful as the day he proposed. He couldn't see the ring, but the chain was just visible above her collar.

"It's beautiful," she said. He watched, mesmerised, as she lifted her hand to the back of her neck, slipping a finger inside the chain and pulling it out from her dress, contorting the chain so she could look at the ring again. "John, where on earth did you get this?"

"It was my mother's," he said, moving closer, until he was barely an inch away from her. "She would have wanted you to have it. It was in a box with baby clothes, I think that speaks for itself."

She laughed, her breath dancing on his face and coming close to driving him wild. "Your mother always did have great plans for us, didn't she? I wonder sometimes if you're only marrying me because she was always so persistent about it."

John chuckled warmly, shaking his head. "That's nonsense and you know it. Now, are you going to come here or not? It's been three weeks, I've missed you."

"I've been right alongside the whole time," she grumbled lightly, but she stepped into his arms and brought her lips straight onto his. Their mouths moved together to make room for the eloquent, raw dance of their tongues, every word or thought or feeling shared between them in the precious, precious moment. It was the nearest either of them could come to freedom, but for now it was near enough. It was still horribly hard, but John realised suddenly that, heaven forbid, he had grown used to the hardship.

He kissed Anna again, and when he saw the tears on her face he wiped them away, believing them to be tears of happiness. He kissed where the tears had been, and he held her close. It wasn't until he saw her shaking, felt his shirt dampening, and heard her broken sobs that he realised she would never grow used to this.

~o~

A week had passed. A week in which John's two notes both failed to bring a smile to Anna's face, and he was sure she was avoiding him. Could something have happened? Could someone have guessed, or had some fresh worry caught Anna off-guard? Was there anything John could do?

And today - today, he couldn't see the chain around her neck. He was certain he saw it at breakfast, and he could swear she kept lifting her hand to play with it before stopping herself. But now, at dinner, she wasn't wearing it at all. And fear flooded John's heart, what could she mean by it?

No, nonsense, he was being a fool. Just because he couldn't see the chain above her collar didn't mean she wasn't wearing it. And just because she wasn't wearing it didn't mean a thing. He was being a fool and there was nothing to worry about.

He excused himself early from dinner, all the same. He needed to think - after all, he had tried to catch her eye several times, only to have her avoid him altogether. Something must be going on.

When he undressed that night, he found the chain and the ring in his jacket pocket.