"It's perfectly fine to be a happy individual." The man recited along with the song pounding in his ears as he danced lazily down the stairs. It had been an insufferably long night, what with all the crying and screaming and throwing things, and how he didn't start any of it.

Kris and Adam had gotten into a fight over who should have gone home, Adam defending himself, and Kris defending Matt. He himself had gotten a tremendous headache and ended it by slapping Kris across the face and screaming at him to 'get the fuck over it already' at about three A.M. This made Allison shriek and burst into tears. Then had come the comforting and lulling her to sleep, then the awkward apology session that Danny had forced upon the three and the lecture in which they were all going to act as though it never happened in the morning.

Part of him hated having to shield Allison from everything, she'd see worse things in her life than two men hitting and screaming at each other. Either way, if he was going to leave that day without a broken rib courtesy of Mr. Gokey, he had to put on a happy face. So he did, and he hopped the last step, running into the teen in the main hall. He turned off his MP3 and pulled out his earbuds. She wore a weary smile, huge circles beneath her eyes, unbecoming of such a pretty girl.

"…Morning Matt."

Her voice was frail and gentle, as if she was testing to see if he was still angry. He replied to these suspicions with a smile mirroring her tone.

"Good morning."

He held her in a hug, a slow, long one. He wanted to remember her as she was at that moment, before she was exposed to the horrors of real life, like the ones that had made him lash out at Kris the night before. They stood in the hall, not speaking, just listening to the other breath and their pulse echo around their ears, as if desperate to memorize the other's being in those few seconds. When they separated, Matt patted her on the back gently and ruffled her hair.

"You're gonna do fine, kid."

"I sure hope so."

Matt smiled again. "So, you think everyone's still P.O.'d at me for last night?" He asked quietly.

Allison winced at the mention of the events that took place. "N-no. I… I mean, you were tired, we all were, and you had a lot on your mind anyway, and the last thing you needed was… you know. I don't blame you." She offered.

Matt smiled and gave her another quick hug. "That means a lot to me, Alli. Thanks." Adjusting his hat, he watched her scurry around him and scoop up his bags. "Oh, no, really, you don't…"

"I want to." Allison interrupted at once. "You helped Scottie with his… I - I wanna help." She bit her lip shyly.

Matt grinned. "Aw, thanks, kid. I'll be out in a second." He watched her hurry out of the house and turned to address the shadow that had appeared in the corner of his eye since he and Allison had ended their hug. "Adam, you don't have to hide. I won't hit you."

The taller man revealed himself, scowling at the comment. "I wasn't hiding."

"Yes you were."

"Shut up."

Adam approached him and touched him on the back, a swift, brutally firm slap between the shoulder blades. "I'm sorry about everything that happened. I don't know what I was thanking getting into it with him… we should have made your last night special."

"Huh?" Matt frowned, having been expecting another shouting match. "Oh. Uh, thanks, man." He blinked and patted him on the shoulder.

Adam smiled, a genuine smile, not one of those on-camera ones. "Yeah. Well, anyway, I'll see you on tour and stuff, okay?"

"Right. Question, is Danny gonna talk to me before I leave of am I getting the cold shoulder?"

"Cold shoulder, for sure. But if he were talking to you, I'd assume he'd say 'you're dream isn't over' and 'God be with you' or some other religious spiel."

The two men had a good laugh with how predictable their friend was.

"I would think so. Well, thanks. I'll talk to you later. Call me some time." They had another hug and a manly handshake, and Adam disappeared into the kitchen.

Right at that moment, his blood ran ice cold, or perhaps it didn't move at all, because in some way or another he died for a split second. He felt someone's tongue in his mouth, hands on his body, and he was being forced against the wall.

"Wh – what the – ? The fuck – Kris, get off –!"

He grabbed the other man by the shoulders and shoved him hard, causing him to hit the railing on the stairs. He stumbled momentarily and fell against the stairs, panting and disheveled, but looking very proud of himself.

"I love you."

And he died again.

"… What? What the fuck? Kris!"

"I love you. I love you I love you I love you. I'll keep saying it until you hear me because I fucking love you." There was a tinge of desperation in his voice as he struggled to his feet. "Matt Girard, I love everything about you and I don't want anyone else. Please." He approached him again, but Matt backed up.

"Kris. You don't know what you're saying. You don't love me. You're married. I'm a guy! You're upset because I got voted off and you want me to stay, that's understandable –"

"For God's sake, Matt! I watch you sleep!"

"…You… you do what?"

"I watch you sleep. I watch you sleep and I think about how much I want to be every woman whose ever touched you. I think about what it would be like if I didn't marry Katy and if you were gay or if I were a chick or something, and what it would be like to have you inside of me and it feels amazing and I want it –"

"Kris, that's not love, that's –"

"And then I think about what our kids would be like and what it would be like to know that you'd never look at anyone the way you look at me. That smile that makes me weak at the knees, you'd never show it to anyone but me. And you'd tell me every night before we made love that you never wanted to be with anyone but me. And I'd wake up in your arms and go to work in your shirt and come home and kiss you and tell you that I've never seen anyone as sexy as you and then we'd do it wherever we were at the time – "

"Kris, God, shut up!"

"And then we'd go and visit Danny and Scott and tell them everything that's happened to us and Scott and I can make you guys dinner and we can just talk and have fun and I want it you bad I think I'm going to throw up." He was crying now, so desperate that he couldn't control himself.

Matt covered his face with his hands and squeezed his eyes shut. Sure did sound an awful lot like love. He clenched his teeth and when he finally looked up again, Kris was right there, staring at him. He had to bite his own knuckle as not to scream.

"…Kris. I have to tell you, those things… are not… the same for me. I don't love you. Not like that at least." He tried to explain as best he could. "I love you like a brother or a best friend or –"

"Matt please." Kris' lower lip was trembling. "Please. At least let me kiss you again. For my sake. Please."

Staring down at him, Matt couldn't think of anything to do. He didn't want to kiss him, because he was a married man, but all those things he'd said were so sweet…

"…Fine. But only a quick one and no tongue."

You could have told him he'd just won a billion dollars and he would never look as happy as he did at that moment.

"Oh, Matt, thank you."

He approached him and Matt forced himself not to back away. He placed one hand on Matt's shoulder and the other on his hip and leaned up, pressing their lips together.

It wasn't as shocking as the first time, partially because he knew it was coming, and partially because he was so sweet about it. It wasn't the type of kiss you normally got, it was practically overflowing with a deeper meaning and he could feel Kris begging for him. Still new in the prospect of how to kiss another guy, he slid his tongue into Kris' mouth and couldn't help but grin when he felt the smaller man give a delighted shudder.

When he began to get short on breath, he separated them, breathing heavily. He closed his eyes and tried to relive the kiss in his head, how tender and loving it had been, not really masking Kris' lust, but more embracing it. When he'd stopped panting he looked down at Kris with slightly stunned eyes, and kissed him again, this one less breath and more tongue, the passion right in the open this time. He could feel Kris' heart pounding against his own chest, thoughts of 'Oh my God why am I doing this' rushing around his head.

Of course, Kris was a married man. And a man, for that matter. But nonetheless, Matt had never felt like he really truly had someone's one hundred percent affection, and it felt amazing. They pulled away again, Kris giving a small whine of disappointment, but silenced himself when Matt pat his bottom.

"…I will most definitely see you on tour. Call me if you ever want to talk."

He licked his lips and watched Kris' face darken and Matt tried to bite back the urge to jump on him.

"…Yup. See you."

They kissed again, this one much more like the first, but faster. Matt dodged out of the house before something ruined how perfectly whole he felt. How perfectly complete, knowing there was someone who loved him probably more than he loved his wife. While that may have been a disturbing concept to some, it was the sweetest thing he'd ever experienced.

Matt hugged Allison once again and smiled back to the house where Kris was standing in the doorway, still looking rather lightheaded, and waggled his fingers. Matt blew a kiss and watched as the smaller man caught it and giggled. Climbing into the taxi, Matt told the driver where to go. Once they'd rounded the corner, he heard his cell phone blasting his own voice and he opened it, pressing it to his ear.

"Hello?"

"Wanna talk?"

He grinned.