He normally had his best ideas in jail. Television bored him, and he was allowed few books, so he was able to focus on machines and machinations. But this particular holiday was marred by reports that his "darling protégé, Brainchild," was thieving from electronics stores. To date, Brainchild had been quite successful. He was also an imposter, a scoundrel, a two-bit hack who hoped to stand on the shoulders of Metrocity's intellectual giant by claiming some form of kinship. Protégé, indeed. He'd protect the hustler into a pit of alligators if he ever got the chance.
Minion, fantastic fish that he was, had the brain and skill to dispose of this fraud, but he lacked the creativity to come up with a plan on his own (though his capes were quite fanciful). And as their next jail-break centered on the Policemen's Ball scheduled three achingly long weeks away, Megamind had little hope of silencing the (in all likelihood) pimple-faced brat before the police caught him. It would permanently tarnish Megamind's gloriously evil record. Stealing computers, bah! How banal.
He watched the local news obsessively for any new reports. He ground his teeth through the tripe they called "personal interest," moodily sat through political and international coverage, waiting, waiting… Best of all, KMCP 8's lead reporter was a very familiar pouty blonde whose flat eyes lit up every time she reminded viewers that her own former kidnapper was securely locked away. He hoped it had burned her when Metro Man left her for the over-coiffed librarian. Heinous cows, every one of them.
And then one day, in the middle of a movie review, the blonde stopped and held her hand to her ear. "Excuse me, something's just come in. Oh, my. We're cutting to a live feed…broadcast online…from a woman claiming to have caught Megamind's Brainchild."
"He's not mine, you loose-legged tart," he hissed at the screen.
"Please excuse the quality of the video, as it seems to be streaming live from her cell phone. Her name is Roxette…I'm sorry, Roxanne Ritchi. That's…wait, don't we have…My goodness. It's KMCP 8's own Roxanne Ritchi. Wow. Yes, cutting to live feed—"