This is going to be a long chapter. We'll check in on Sam and see if anyone can help her see the light.
Sam was having a very difficult time and Cat was pushing her harder to find out why.
"Sam, what's wrong." The younger girl begged in the morning, worried because Sam was up so early.
"Ugh! Cat, I'm fine. Now get your butt ready for school." Sam growled, just wanting to be alone. "You're gonna be late."
"I'm not going anywhere, Sam." Cat defied. "I'm really worried about you. You don't sleep, you don't care about work. You don't eat. My God, Sam, you're not eating!"
All Sam wanted was to wallow in her own misery. "There is nothing wrong with me. Now would you please just go to school."
"Sam. Please tell me what happened with Freddie? You haven't been the same since you talked to him."
"I already told you."
"Yeah, he asked you to prom. So why does that make a girl go off the deep end."
Sam snapped at her friend. "Because he doesn't really want to take me. He wants to take his precious little Carly and since California is a helluva lot closer than Italy, he asked me. He doesn't really give a crap about me, I'm just more convenient."
"Oh, Sam. That can't be true!"
Sam didn't believe her and continued. "And no matter how much he insists that he's over Carly, I know he's not. And he's never going to feel about me like I feel about him."
"How can you be so sure?" The younger gal fussed.
"Because that's how it always is. Sam is the second choice, the backup plan, the black sheep. Everyone I know comes first, Melanie, Carly, even you. We go somewhere and people look at the two of us and they see perfect, sweet little Cat Valentine and the gutter trash girl that lives with her. That's the way it's always been, I'm the wingman, the second banana, the trouble making sidekick."
Cat was so worried about her friend's attitude that she absolutely refused to leave her alone for the day. The poor girl spent the day trying to do things to help Sam's attitude to no avail.
By the end of the day, Cat had enlisted the help of some friends to keep Sam company so she could handle her homework and do some shopping for dinner. At her request, Dice stopped by for a little while. The red head had taken a few minutes to catch him up on the situation before leaving.
"Hey, Sam." The younger boy entered the apartment cautiously. "What's new?"
"Eh. Same old chiz." She shrugged from the couch, no even sitting up.
"So Cat tells me you're felling a little down. Maybe I could cheer you up with some magic tricks." The kid produced a deck of cards. "Here, pick a card."
Rather than take just one, Sam sat up and grabbed the whole deck. "Let me show you my favorite card trick." She tossed the deck into the air and swatted it, cards fluttered everywhere. "Whee."
Poor Dice didn't know what to do. He just sat down beside her. "I'm sorry, Sam. Is there anything I can do?"
Sam just looked at him and shook her head. "Thanks, Kid. But, really I'm fine."
"How about we grab some fried chicken?" He suggested. "My treat."
"Does it mean I have to leave the apartment?"
"Well, yeah. I, uh, guess."
"Then I'm good. Thanks anyway."
"You know, some of the girls in my class say I'm a good listener."
"I know you mean well, Dice but you can't fix me." She deadpanned. "Unless you can somehow stop me from falling for a guy that's in love with someone else."
Somehow Sam felt more comfortable talking to this kid than anyone else.
"Are you talking about Freddie? You know he's crazy about you, right?"
"How the cheese would you know? You've never met the guy." Sam jumped up and walked toward the kitchen.
Dice followed. "I watched the show. I could see it in the way he looked at you. I mean, he wasn't on camera all the time like you, but when he was there was this vibe between you two. And Cat told me he even asked you to the spring formal."
"Yeah, well Cat needs to mind her own business and Fredweird can ask me to anything he wants, it doesn't stop the fact that he's still in lust with Carly Shay."
"You know, if I was older, I'd ask you to a dance or something to make him jealous. Then you'd see just how he feels about you. Like I said, I saw how he looked at you, and how he looked at Carly and believe me there was a difference."
"Well, I think I know him a lot better than either you or Cat do. But it is nice of you to offer to take me out to make him jealous. Even if you're just desperately trying to get a chance to go out with a girl five years older than you."
"No. I swear I'm not." He got wide eyed. "I wouldn't."
"Yeah, you are. But that's OK. I used to have a crush on my best friend's older brother years ago. It's just a phase. You'll get over it, I did." She replied. "Here. I don't do this for everyone. Free hug." She opened her arms to hug the kid.
"Well, I hope you feel better, Sam." Dice said quietly.
"Thanks, Dice. You're a good kid. Hey, hands above the waist!"
The next day, Sam decided to talk to Carly. She had been thinking about calling her for days, but couldn't be bothered until now. Maybe somehow she could bring up the subject of Freddie and get Carly's take on the situation. It wasn't like she ever thought Carly reciprocated the boy's feelings, but just maybe she could put a different perspective on this.
Carly was just glad to hear from Sam and had been given a little bit of information about the blonde's conundrum by Melanie and she felt terrible. She also heard some of Freddie's side thanks to her brother.
"Sam! It's great to hear from you, how have you been?" Carly, as always, sounded way too perky for Sam's liking.
"Not bad." Sam answered shortly.
The girls talked about a few other things but they could only walk around the elephant in the room so often.
"So, I understand you got an invite to prom." Carly brought it up first.
"Psh." Sam snipped. "I guess everyone knows my business. And I suppose you also know I said no."
"Well, L.A.'s not exactly close to Seattle, it can't be practical to make the trip home just for one evening. Plus the airfare's got to be kind of expensive." Carly was hesitant to admit she knew the rest of Sam's reasoning for rejecting the promposal.
"That's not really the problem." Sam mumbled. "I could afford to go back for it if I wanted."
"Well, I understand if you don't want to get anything started with Freddie again. Don't get me wrong, I think you two are good together, but long distance relationships are hard."
"Carly, have you been watching sappy, angsty movies again?"
"Awh, Sam. We both know, Freddie will throw himself head long into a relationship with you, even if he lives in another state. Maybe if he was closer when he 's at college . . . "
"That's crazy. And you and I both know he's not going to choose a college in California. Nerds like him belong at MIT. Heck, he's talked about going there since, like, seventh grade."
"Maybe. But he's also talked about Caltech and UCLA and a half dozen other schools." Carly countered.
Sam was getting irritated. "Even so, don't think he feels about me the way I feel about him."
"And how exactly do you feel?" Carly already knew the answer. "You never talk about that kind of stuff. Tell me what you're thinking, Sam."
Sam sighed, took a deep breath and laid her cards on the table. "That I really like him and I can't so much as talk to another dude without comparing him to Fredward. And that no matter how much I wish it was different, I'll never be anything more than the girl who he settled for when he couldn't get the one he really wanted. I deserve better than being the one who only said yes because she couldn't help herself, even when it's obvious he's hung up on someone else."
"Sam, that's not true and you know it." Carly said in a way like she didn't even remember the kiss. Sam remembered it and it ate at her like nobody's business. The fact that Carly wouldn't cop to it only made her more angry.
"Oh, yeah. Then explain to me why less than three hours after asking me if I wanted to get back together, he went and made out with someone else. And why he never calls me, and why he acts like I owe him a prom date just because we used to go out when we were younger."
"Wait, Freddie asked you out again? And then he made out with some skunk bag? You sure we're talking about Freddie Benson here?"
"You know damn well what I'm talking about, Shay! I'm talking about you! He asked me out and then before the sun went down, he was kissing all over you up in the studio. I saw you guys! I saw how tenderly you touched him and how he melted his lips to yours and how victorious he looked. Why are you so defensive of him? Oh my God, did you guys end up in bed or something?"
"Sam, for crissakes, you know me better than that! There wasn't so much as any making out. It was a simple goodbye kiss. Nothing more."
"Psh!" Sam obviously didn't believe her.
Carly was not getting defensive. "Did it appear tender? Maybe, from a distance. Did we both enjoy it at the time? Yeah, I'd say we probably did. But we both felt terrible afterward. I knew kissing a guy that you liked was wrong but I just wanted to . . . , ah heck, Sam. I don't know what I was even thinking, but it certainly wasn't that I had any kind of feelings for Freddie. And I know for a fact that he doesn't have any deep feelings for me. He regrets the kiss just as much as I do."
"And would you mind explaining just how you know what he's thinking."
"Because he told me!" Carly said loudly. "Before my plane even landed, he had been calling and leaving messages apologizing and he sent me, I don't know, like, ten texts saying he felt like he was taking advantage by kissing me, when he was really in love with you. And I never felt anything at all for him, I swear. I never have and I never will."
"Oh, cut the crap, Carly! We both know if a guy even smiles at you, you get worked up so bad you need dry underwear."
"Sam! That's nasty! I'm not some slut."
"You're right, I'm sorry, Carls. That wasn't nice. But you do get flustered around boys."
"Well, I've never been flustered by Freddie! And I'm dead serious. He felt like a total stub rag for the whole kiss thing and then when you disappeared, he dang near went off the deep end. He called me, texted and emailed, like four or five times a day to ask if I heard from you or knew anything about where you were."
"He was really worried about me?" Sam began to understand that maybe, just maybe, Freddie actually had deep feelings for her.
"Uh, yeah! Worried sick as a matter of fact. He missed I don't know how many days of school looking for you. He left you voice mails and texts but you never called back or anything. He even went to your house to ask your mom what happened to you."
"Whoa. He talked to Pam? She never said anything."
"Well, it's not like you and your mom talk. The poor guy thought you got abducted or arrested or something. You could have at least sent him a text to let him know you were still alive. And that day you actually called him about the online reviews or whatever, he was over the moon. He called me at four in the morning to tell me he heard from you."
Sam felt bad. She never tried to look at this from Freddie's perspective. Maybe he was telling her the truth after all. Was it possible he was truly over his eternal crush on Carly?
Carly broke her train of thought. "I think you guys need to talk, you two need to mend your friendship and then get back on track. If there's a chance in you-know-where for Seddie, you need to be open with each other."
"Carly! Stop saying that word!"
The girls wrapped up their call and Sam again found it difficult to get any sleep that night. Not because she was upset with Freddie. This time she was upset with herself. How could she be so selfish to not even be willing to hear him out.