My Meadow of Tortures

I dozed off into a deep sleep, only to feel John being ripped away from me. I screamed, as I was literally thrown into a meadow of flowers and wheat that stood to my hips when I got to my feet.

I looked around myself, nothing but flowers and wheat and a few weeds here and there. Just an endless meadow and the sun was beating down on my pale skin. Luckily, I didn't burn easily, plus, this is only a dream.

That was when Jim appeared behind me, and grabbed my hips, "Sherly!" he exclaimed as if he was happy to see me and we were a couple. Well, we are, but not the way I am with John. We're more of enemies playing a game, and in this fantasy of a game, he wants us to be a couple, and secretly, I'd always wondered what it would have been like to have a criminal mastermind as a boyfriend.

I know, I'm extremely weird, but it's true. He kissed my neck as I had said, "Shut up, James," knowing he despised his name. He never let anyone call him that.

He squeezed my waist and bit me harder than he would have if it was a love-bite. It almost drew blood. "You will not use that name against me," he growled.

"And why not?" I purred tilting my head to the side so that our cheeks rubbed against one another's. "It suits you," I suddenly became very dark. I knew why he hated this name, even if he didn't want me to know.

Then he did draw blood when he bit me again, but he 'apologetically' licked it off and kissed the mark as if he wanted it to disappear, but we all know he didn't. It was his mark that said he owned me.

Then John appeared, and saw me in this position with Jim, and I wasn't struggling to free myself of his grip (I fucking gave up at this point), "Sherlock?"

I sighed in frustration and growled, "Get off of me. This is inappropriate and you know it," I complained to Jim. Since when have I ever cared if something is inappropriate? Oh yeah, there's John.

"Oh, I know, I just don't care," he grinded against me and I could feel him against me, it wasn't nice. Another growl ripped through my vocal cords as I pushed myself from him and fell into John.

I looked down on my confused soldier, and kissed him before Jim ripped me from him again. The grip he had on my neck wasn't surprising, seeing as he had very long fingers, but what surprised me was how well he could hold said grip.

But this was my dream, and anything is possible, just not what I want. He licked my cheek and tried to palm me through my pants, but I grabbed his hand and dug my nails into his palm, "Don't touch me," I warned.

"Or?" he challenged and placed his hand where he had originally wanted to.

"Or, I will rip you apart piece by piece and John can watch you be torn to shreds by such a 'weak and defenseless detective'." I loved threatening people. Especially when I worked for Mycroft in disconnecting the Moriarty Network, I threatened them and then I went through with the threat I gave them. It was fun.

He was grinding up against me again, "I doubt you," he challenged. John was about to stand, when I did something that made him stop.

I pushed myself back into Moriarty's groin and when he moaned in displeasure, I turned and with a swift motion the back of my right hand hit his cheek and my left swung after it, making him fall to the ground. "Watch your tongue, 'Consulting Criminal'," I warned again, "It just may fall out," I grinned.

He snapped his fingers and three men appeared. One took John, another tried to handle me, and the last stood by Moriarty. One if his trusted and loyal ones, I suppose. John gave up trying, but I kicked and screamed for them to put me down and unhand me this instant. They obeyed none of my orders.

"Lock them away again, they haven't proved anything to me. Yet," Moriarty stood. The men holding us threw us to the ground. But as I hit the earth, it broke into pieces and I started falling, "John!" the scream slipped past my throat and through my lips.

But then I landed on my ass, in what looked as though it was a rabbit hole. But that quickly disappeared into a white room. The one I was in the last dream my mind had conjured. But, where's the earth I was sitting in? It doesn't matter, it's probably long gone. This is my mind, after all.

But when I appeared now, John was chained to the wall I had sat up against. The chains only restricted his hands, but they were high enough up that his feet barely touched the tile beneath him. He had a bloody nose and a spot on his temple had been ripped open.

But when I got closer, I could see that this spot was too big to have been a fist, it looked like it was from a piece of metal or something, "Sherlock," he groaned. "Run!" he whispered as loud as he could.

I rushed to his side and made him look at me, he had a concussion, "No. I will never. Who did this?" I asked, knowing it had to have been one of Jim's men.

"I don't know," he admitted. I exhaled in frustration. I ran my fingers through my hair as I heard him speak again. I bent to where I could listen to his whispered, "I love you, but this is not what I had in mind for our relationship," he tried.

"Well, don't feel too bad, because I never thought we'd be here, either. I thought this was all over. But my mind won't let it rest, apparently," I admitted.

I lifted his chin with my forefinger to see all the damage left from the pain afflicted. No, just what I had seen before, the gash on his head, and a bloody nose. I hated this. Even though it was just a dream, it still pulled on my heart strings; and just when I thought I had none…

I stroked his hair from his face as I tried to find something to wipe the blood off of him with. But I found nothing. Instead, I ripped my shirt off and used that (this surprised me, because usually I don't like my clothes getting dirty. At all. Ever.). The crimson stained the white but I didn't care. Then I did something I never thought I'd catch myself doing.

I ripped a piece off of the bottom, to wrap it around John's head as a bandage. I didn't think I could ever, but I cared more about John then I did about a stupid shirt. Besides, I smiled, with him around, it probably won't stay on for very long anyway.

He was confused, "What're you smiling at?" he squinted at me as if he couldn't see me properly.

"Nothing, just the thought of us, when we're finally completely alone…" I let his mind wander as mine did. He chuckled as he reached what I was thinking about.

"Yeah. That would be nice," he smiled. I nodded in agreement. "But we can't very well do that with being here," he seemed to complain.

I shrugged. Then I remembered that his feet weren't able to touch the ground, and that must hurt him. So I sat in front of him, and scooted all the way back to lean on the wall, and have his thighs rest on my shoulders. I'm glad I'm taller than him, or this wouldn't have worked so well.

But he let out a sigh of relief, and I smiled again. "Comfortable?" I asked, sure he could hear the smile in my voice, and I looked up to meet his smile.

"As good as it's gonna get. No offense, but I still wish were back at the flat," he said. I nodded, yeah. My mind does very well with faking John. I even got how soft his skin is against mine when I stroke it (I've been stroking his feet and thighs, I know. Again, I'm weird).

My finger stroked his thigh lovingly and I bowed my head at myself for torturing John in such a way.

"Speaking of torturing John," everything changed and suddenly I was standing next to a table. And Jim was standing behind me, again. But it wasn't just any table, it had John (of course) strapped to it and he already had a bruise over his ribs. No tears, but blood was everywhere.

Jim kissed my neck and I shivered as he shoved something in my hand, it was cold as his fingers were warm. I looked down and it happened to be my riding crop. Really? He bent my fingers around it and raised my hand, "Strike him," he ordered in a seductive way.

"No," I defied him. John whimpered at the possibility of being hit with that. And it does hurt. I would know, I've used it and it's been used on me.

"You must," he said, a little more stiffness in his voice. I repeated my defiance with silence. He tightened his grip, "Do it, or you go on that table yourself," he threatened. I shook my head once in denial.

He turned me around and our eyes met as he bent me over John, "If you won't, I will," he grinned at that possibility. My lips curled into disgust, and I still didn't do anything. He leaned into me and took the riding crop from my fingers, I couldn't do a thing because the small of my back caught on the corner of the table.

All I heard was a crack and John's whimper to follow. Jim's eyes stayed glued to mine as I saw what I feared most, bloodlust, and it was getting worse every time the riding crop made contact with John's thighs and abdomen, and after each hit, he wanted to do it again.

I closed my eyes tight and wished it would stop, but I can't do anything, because he has me pinned to the corner of the table, and if I were to have moved, it would have killed me, literally. I hate that human instinct stays, even in dreams.

But then suddenly, I didn't care. As I ripped myself from the table, the corner cut me and I knew I was to die, but I didn't care. I pushed Jim off and turned to see John before I passed out, supposedly dead.

But instead I woke up screaming and kicking. I put my hands to my ears to drown out the sound of John screaming in pain. Then John was quiet and beside me and I finally noticed I was in my room, "Sherlock! Calm down. Whatever happened, it's gone now, I'm here."

I lifted the covers and cuddled into John's stomach, partly because he was John and partly because I wanted to make sure it was all a nightmare. "John," I sobbed. The tears hit his perfect skin and he curled around me.

"It's okay, I won't leave. I love you, it's okay," he kept muttering to me. his fingers threaded through my hair, trying to calm me, and it worked enough that the tears had gone, but the feeling of John being hurt was still there.

Honestly, that dream only worked because I know how much I hurt John, and how much Jim would have if I hadn't almost killed John myself. Then again, I didn't think I mattered so much to him. All I knew then was that I loved him and I would always die for him if I was given the chance.

I sniffled and risked a glance up at John. My position had changed to where I was laying back into him and between his thighs. He looked back down at me, and smiled, as one tear fell.

I wiped it from existence as I sat up and turned to face him. My hips settled in between his and I leaned in close enough that our noses were touching, "I'm so sorry, John."

"For?" he looked confused but I knew he knew what I was speaking of.

"Everything," I admitted. He shook his head and smiled as he kissed me. I accepted this and kissed him back. Then I glanced at the clock on my nightstand. It's morning anyway. that was when I had noticed that the sun was just peeking through the window in my room. "Damn," I swore.

"Hmm?" John's eyes found mine again.

"We have to get out of bed," I complained. He rolled his eyes at me and I kissed him again.

"Ever gonna tell me what you have nightmares about?" he asked. I shook my head at his request. Never. It hurts me, and me only. John will never know. "And why not?" he asked.

"Because they're mine. They hurt me, and no one else. Just be glad I even let you sleep with me, I considered not, since I've been having bad dreams like that."

"Well, just know that if you ever want to tell someone, I'm always here," he offered himself. I nodded, I know. I just don't care, because I'll never tell anyone.

"Well, you have to get your pretty butt to work, so I'll get dressed and try to find something to do while you're gone," I assured him.

"It's pretty now?" he asked, smiling. I nodded, grinning. He chuckled, "Okay. Right then. Well, I do have to get to work, so." He huffed and moved to the edge of the bed, where he stood.

I looked for good measure, yeah, he's pretty. I looked up to his eyes on me, and I blushed. He laughed as he stepped out into the hall and to the bathroom, where I heard the water running. I laughed as I stumbled from the bed.

I dressed and went to the living room where the light was shining bright through the window beside the couch. I sighed as I plopped into my sitting chair. I checked my text messages and there were none, thank God. I really don't want to do much. I have a few experiments to finish and that's about it.

John walked out in his tan jumper with a plaid flannel underneath. He slipped on his shoes as he dried off the last of his blond hair. It was still damp, but he looked amazing.

I pulled him closer with the belt loop on his jeans, "Hey Sexy," I flirted as he threw the towel at my face. I laughed as it fell to the floor.

"Hey yourself, Love," he smiled and blushed. He put his hands to my hips and I ducked down to kiss him. He tasted minty. Hehe. I put my forearms on his shoulders to make him stay close. I looked into his dark blue eyes and chuckled at the fact that they were so pretty.

By this time, I had completely forgotten the nightmares and kissing John became the main thing on my mind. My tongue slipped through his soft lips and a small moan escaped my doctor. "Mnnm," was my response.

"I have to go," he complained. I let him go and he grabbed his coat as I leaned against the door. "Sherlock," he warned.

"One more," I whined the question to my blond. He sighed and pulled me down to meet his lips. He was about to pull away, but I lingered on his lips. I made this one passionate, seeing as I won't see him all day. I smiled as we parted, "Bye, Sexy," I tapped his ass once and he was out the door, blushing so hard it was scarlet.

I laughed as I closed the door. I think I have a new nickname for him now. I pulled my cell out of my pocket again, and there were still no texts. I was sure that by then my brother would start fucking pestering me, but I guess not.

I laid it down on the table as I sat in a chair. My feet tapped the floor in a rhythm to one of my favorite tunes as I leaned over my microscope. Okay, I didn't leave anything out. That would have been bad.

The plant I was experimenting on was sitting on the windowsill of the kitchen window, so I scooped it up and set it down on the table. I prepared a slide as I extracted some of the soil. My results were interesting, but I couldn't stop thinking about other things.

John seemed way more interesting, but then I remembered my dreams, and I instantly regretted everything I had done to him. How he was still breathing was beyond me. This was also one of the reasons I loved John. He confused me, but in a good way.

I hate to compare him to this, but he reminds me of my cases. They confuse me to no end, until I find more evidence and then there's the answer. But with John, he seemed to be my never-ending case. I may find evidence of him, but I will never be able to fully solve who he is and how the hell he managed to stay the way he is.

I was still curious of how he still loved me. if I was him, I would have hated my gut and thrown me out the first time I saw my face. but he welcomed me with open arms. Almost literally. And that's the other ting, I expected him to punch me, but instead, he slept with me. Haha, no sex, just sleep, I swear. But I wish… never mind.

I tried to focus on my work, but gave up. As I was cleaning everything off, I heard my phone chirp. I dried the slides and slid them into their original place beside my microscope and I dried my hands as I picked up the cell.

I was cautious for some reason, when it could have just been my brother. But that doesn't seem possible now. Usually if he's going to bother me, he'd do it before then. It could be John, or Molly. Or maybe even Lestrade.

I hadn't even pulled up the lock screen, and it chirped again and I screamed, it falling from my hands. I caught it again just before it hit the floor. I let my heartbeat settle as I unlocked it. But that wasn't the only surprise I got.

I opened my text messages and the new ones said: Dinner? I'm starving. And the second one: Come on, play with me again… - M

Hehe... Jim's back, and Sherlock is having nightmares about him, how well do you think that'll gloss over? By the way, now that I'm not as distracted, I will update this story whenever I can instead of every week. So I hope you enjoy the rest of the story. But please do tell me what you think so far... : )