Hermione's face was in her pillow while she screamed and cried, muffling the pain she felt. A knock sounded at her door, she hoped more than anything that it wasn't Jason or Draco. She stood, her black eyes running. She opened the door to her engaged weasel. She didn't say anything to her, just stared into her best friend's soft eyes. Ginny pulled the slightly older witch into her arms, hugging her tightly. Hermione broke down, crying into the ginger's shoulder. Ginny was patient, letting her cry out her pain and embarrassment.
After an hour of sobs they sat on Hermione's bed. Hermione was twirling her long blonde hair around her finger. Ginny readied herself for what she knew was going to be the most painful question she would ever have to ask. "Mione?" Hermione didn't answer, just waited for her to continue. "Is the reason you're defending and staring at Draco because…" Ginny cleared her throat awkwardly. "Because you love him?" Hermione met Ginny's eyes. She wore her true expression, the pained and tortured one.
"Ginny… I'm not sure if I love Draco."
"Will you tell me what happened between you two?" Hermione nodded, biting her lip. She was happy she cast a silencing spell around the room before she began her pathetic crying.
"Well, it all began Christmas break fourth year…" Hermione went into the long tall, recalling how Ron paid no attention to her so she stayed at Hogwarts. She began seeing Malfoy then. She hurried through the story, ending it at where she walked away from him back to Ron and Harry at the manor.
"I see where the issue is." Ginny whispered, holding her best friend's hand. "What do you feel for him now though?"
"Immense sexual attraction." Ginny laughed at the obvious statement. "I feel so much love for him, but I also hate him for not helping me at the manor."
"It wasn't his fault, you heard his mother when she apologized…" Hermione nodded, knowing she should forgive Draco. "He wishes he would have saved you, it was obvious at breakfast that morning Ron yelled at you. You shouldn't have covered for him by the way." It had been several days since that fight. "Draco loves you Hermione. He's drinking himself to death because of what he feels."
"I know."
"We all love you Hermione. I know that Harry will stick by you, I'm not sure about Ron… but Harry and I are with you on whatever you decide." Hermione hugged her friend.
"Please don't tell anyone… Ron and Harry learned enough by what you saw between Jason and me." Ginny nodded standing.
"I promise I won't tell anyone. I must be going though. Will you be alright?"
"Yes, let me walk you to the door." Hermione and Ginny walked silently to the portrait hole. Ginny hugged Hermione one last time before leaving. She shut the portrait closed behind her, staring at the large hidden door. Ginny prayed to Merlin that Hermione would make things right… that her best friend would be happy again.
-X-X-X-X-
"I didn't take anything." Hermione cried, her eyes burning with the tears. "Please." She sobbed.
"Crucio." Bellatrix laughed. Hermione screamed, twisting with pain. Her eyes met cold grey ones. Her screams increased as Bellatrix increased the pain. "CRUCIO." She felt the blood pooling in her throat.
"NO!" she screeched, crying the silent tears. She begged for them to stop for anything to make it end. The scene faded and she was grateful it finally had ended.
Hermione screamed, shooting upwards. Draco sat at the corner of her bed, shaking her gently. Hermione rushed to the bathroom, spitting out the blood that coated her throat. She rinsed her mouth, watching the blood rinse away. She turned, seeing the tortured Draco leaning against the door frame. "It almost sounded like my aunt had came back from the dead." he murmured. Hermione didn't say anything, terrified if she did it would be something she didn't wish to say. "Hermione I want to tell you I'm sorry." He slurred slightly, she knew this was from the large amount of alcohol that seemed to keep reentering his system. "I want to go back and step forward, stopping that bitch." He was angry, not at her… but at himself.
"Don't blame yourself Drake." She mentally cursed letting his nickname for her go. "It wasn't your fault. If you would have stepped forward then you were dead along with me."
"I could have stopped her, if mother didn't hold me back."
"She saw Ron and Harry waiting for the right moment to save me Drake… she knew I wouldn't die in the five minutes it took for them to save me… I don't blame you." Those were the sweetest words he could have heard. "I'm sorry you heard the argument between Jason and I." his face saddened at the thought. She felt the need to reassure him. "I didn't love him. Whenever the pain of being alone became too strong he would come and keep me company." They both knew what they really did. "I used him to replace you Drake."
"How did that work out Princess?" his tearful eyes looked into her sad ones.
"Terribly." They stayed silent. "You heard what I said. He has someone to go home to every night, children that love him… I envy him for that." She spoke softly. "I envy Ginny and Harry to. They get to be happily married while I suffer this immense pain. Every night I see it. Over and over again, as if it's on repeat." She had tears in her eyes. "I don't want to be alone." She cried. Draco took her fragile body into his strong arms. She held him tight, never wanting to let go. "Stay with me." she whispered. He nodded, letting her take him into the red and gold room. She let him get into bed first, then moved in next to him. She felt so much better instantly. Her heart paced slowed to a steady thrum, her mind relaxing, and her body going slightly numb. This time when darkness that's all that it was… darkness.
.x.x.x.x.
Hermione woke up in a better mood then she has been in ages. She yawned, refusing to open her eyes and ruin the moment with the tragedy that her life really was. The pillow she was snuggling moved. Her eyes finally did open, hoping to god that she didn't back out of her promise to Jason. No, Draco slept there underneath her. She smiled at him. She finally got the wish she had been wishing for the past three years… to wake up in his arms once more.
She laid there, a perfect fit to him. She admired his face… hell, she admired all of him. His face was strong, the bags beneath his eyes telling you of his hauntings, he had beautiful platinum silky hair and a perfect body… not to mention he was gifted down below. She admired how at peace he looked. The first night here he seemed as bad off as she did, alone and haunted. She frowned, he never hurt her, he never wanted to… maybe it was time to forgive him for not fight harder for her. She knew he was more than willing to risk himself for her, that's why he had to be held back by his mother. She smiled at that thought, lifting her fingers to trace his beautiful face. He grabbed her hand, making her squeak. He opened those silvery blue orbs, meeting her gaze.
"Morning."
"It's a good morning." She whispered to him. He looked so lost. "I forgive you Draco, for everything you did and everything you will ever do… I forgive you." He looked pained.
"You shouldn't."
"I do though Draco." Draco just stood, incapable of even looking at the love of his life. He walked out of her room, leaving her staring after him. Hermione looked next to her where Draco slept. She let her fingers ghost themselves over his imprint. She didn't want to get up, but she knew she had to. She stood and brushed her soft hair back into a ponytail, her curls bursting everywhere. She put on sweats and a tank top. She headed down to breakfast in flip flops. She didn't look at the Slytherin table, her emotions barely able to hold themselves together. She slipped in next to Ron and Neville. She piled her plate with food, eating quietly. The talk around her didn't stop until Jason showed up.
"Ready for the next shoot?" his voice was sad but cold. Hermione nodded. "Don't eat as much either, you can't gain any weight." She nodded, pushing away her barely eaten food. She stood up, excusing herself. She then glanced at Slytherin table, not seeing Draco. Her mood bummed slightly. "After these photo's we have to go get your hair dyed for the new fashion."
"I like being blonde though."
"Too bad, boss wants something different." She sighed and left her friends behind, following Jason back up to her room. He gave her the outfit, which was more skimpy lingerie. She walked down, seeing him changed the couch's color to something more appropriate. She heard something shatter, her gaze going up to Draco's room.
"I'll be right back." He waved her away, anger still bundled from yesterday. She knocked on Draco's door, getting no answer. She opened it, barging in. She nearly died at what she saw. Draco was on top of… Hannah Abott? She froze there, seeing his drunken sway. Great, she opens up to him and he goes and screws someone else.
"Merlin's beard." Hannah pushed Draco away from her upon seeing Hermione. Draco growled angrily, looking at the disruption. His gaze softened slightly seeing Hermione there.
"Get out." Draco said rudely to her. Hermione just blinked away the tears, turning away from him. She slammed the door shut behind her. She suddenly needed to release her anger. She walked down to Jason.
"Now." her tone said not to mess with her. He saw the pain and tears in her eyes. He instantly took her into her arms, ravishing her. Their fight now meant nothing. She let him carry her up the stairs, past where Draco was kicking Hannah out. She stared blankly at Draco as Jason shut the door behind them.
.x.x.x.x.
Hermione felt bad, really bad… no that was a lie, her anger was gone and she was relaxed. She put back on her robe, leading Jason to the door. They had sex, did the shots, had sex again, and now she was showing him the door. Jason bent down, kissing her lips with the love he felt for her. She was just hungry for more. "Does this mean our fight meant nothing?"
"Only when either of us is pissed." Hermione murmured against his lips. He pulled away, smiling. "Go and chat with the boss, give him the shots." Jason apparated to the headquarters, leaving Hermione staring at the space he just occupied. She walked back inside, slamming the portrait shut. She slumped on the couch, her robe going undone. She didn't care, she was a whore. She heard steps, she turned where Harry, Ginny and Ron marched into her and Draco's common room.
"Did things work out well? It's been nearly dinner time." Hermione shrugged, frown still on her face.
"Did you two work things out?" Ginny asked, she didn't mean about Jason and her.
"No, I screwed up… again." Ginny sat beside her friend, lending her shoulder.
"What happened?"
"Jason and I… I gave in… twice." Hermione had tears in her eyes.
"Didn't know you were so… saucy Mione." She looked at where Ron was staring, her barely there lingerie.
"Stop looking at me as if I'm meat." Hermione yelled. "Just leave for a bit, give me time to stop hating myself before you talk to me." she looked at the fire, her tears running down her cheeks. She knew they didn't leave. "Please, I'll come down to the common room in a bit, just give me space." She heard nothing but the click of the portrait swinging closed. She looked, seeing her friends gone. She glanced up at Draco's room. She wasn't going to take his shit like before. She marched up there, Gryffindor bravery shining through her. She didn't knock, just barged in. Draco had the firewhiskey, downing the bottle. "What the hell was that?" she yelled at him, knowing her robe was wide open.
"What was what?" Draco sneered. "Me getting laid or you?"
"You. I forgive you then you bring that into where I am?" she screamed, pain etched into her voice. "You hurt me enough without having to fuck someone right next door." She cried.
"Princess, when you walked away you made your feelings clear."
"That I loved you enough to let you go?"
"No, you told me princess, you hate me." Draco stood, wavering lightly.
"Is that really what you think?" she screamed. "You think I hate you?" He was silent. "I do not hate you Malfoy." He winced at her use of his surname. "What did you expect me to do in front of a room of death eaters, while I was being tortured, calling out to you… tell you I love you? No, only someone wishing for death would do that. In that moment I hated you so much, but I hated myself more… for letting myself get into that position." She cried. "Stop trying to hurt me."
"You saw me kick her out. You went and did your little wanker twice… twice." He yelled back. "If that doesn't prove that you hate me, then I don't know what does." He spat.
"You're such an idiotic git." She cried, tears falling down her face.
"Just leave." His voice became tired, pained. "I can't stand knowing you hate me."
"I don't hate you Draco." Hermione whispered. Draco looked at her, finally taking her all in. The beautiful green lingerie that matched his house color, the way her eyes held so much emotion. It was beautiful, she was beautiful. He met her eyes once more. "Haven't you figured it out yet?"
"Figured what out?"
"I love you."