The letter arrived on December 30th. They had nothing planned for New Year's Eve; the Christmas trip shook both of them, and throngs of people were more than either of them wanted to deal with.

Willow dropped the letter on the kitchen table, but didn't open it. She wasn't certain what to do with it. When Buffy found it, she backed out of the kitchen and looked accusingly at Willow. "Throw it away," she demanded.

Willow did, without question, knowing from Buffy's tone that their evening would be completely unsettled. Buffy paced the living room, her lips moving in words too quiet for Willow to hear. She stopped after a few circuits, standing before Willow in the kitchen entry. "I can't," Buffy began tentatively.

"I know," Willow answered soothingly. "It's all right."

"It's not all right. It'll never be all right again."

"What do you want to do?"

Buffy looked at the floor and didn't answer immediately. When she raised her head, she looked at Willow, obviously thinking. "Honestly," she said finally, "I want to get in the car and go as far from here as we can. But we can't," she sighed.

"Why not?"

"You have school and"

"You think that matters? You think I'd put that ahead of"

"It matters," Buffy said firmly. She closed the distance between them and wrapped herself around Willow. "It matters," she repeated.

"You matter. You come first." Willow kissed Buffy's temple.

"You can't just switch schools every time I get…"

"I will do whatever you need." Willow put her hand on Buffy's chin and raised her face. "You are more important to me than anything else."

"I love you, Willow."

"I love you, too, but you don't get to sidetrack the conversation like that. We both know how stubborn they are. They'll keep coming back."

"We can move."

"I don't want to move." Willow sighed. "We'll think of something."

"I know." Buffy, her arms still around Willow's waist, tugged her from the doorway. They moved slowly to the couch, and Buffy laid down. She pulled Willow completely on top of her.

"I'm too heavy," Willow protested.

"You're perfect," Buffy answered, and kissed her.

All of them were up early on New Year's Day. Dawn turned on the Rose Parade and they watched it while dismantling the tree. Anya fixed sandwiches and soup when they finished, and when Xander came in from dragging the tree back into the woods, they sat around the table and ate. No one felt like talking. They hadn't felt like talking since coming back from seeing Buffy and Willow. Xander worked hard at keeping them upbeat and hiding his own anger.

He found it hard to believe that Willow could be so cruel. Tara cried for hours after she tried to talk with Willow alone. She was still crying when Xander went to give them a piece of his mind. When they wouldn't answer the door, he seriously considered breaking in. Instead, he walked around the block twice before trying again. Then he gave up and went back to his girls, and found them still huddled together on a rented bed.

Somehow, he held himself together while Dawn and Tara mourned again and Anya looked helplessly from one to the other. He made sure they ate, and turned out the lights early in the hope that they would sleep, and in the morning, he made sure no one forgot anything before they got into the car for the quiet ride home.

He'd written a letter, though. He was still too angry and hurt to want to sleep, and when the others were asleep under piles of blankets, he sat at the kitchen table and wrote them a letter. Xander tried to be objective. He told them everything that happened since Willow's disappearance, without censoring himself. He told them how angry he was now, how hurt they all were, and how he wanted his family – his entire family – together again.

Before going back to bed, he found an envelope, addressed and stamped it, and slipped it into his work coat so the others wouldn't see it, and mailed it on his lunch break.

This morning, he'd made his annual resolution. The four of them went around the supper table, saying aloud what they hoped this year would bring and one specific goal they would work toward. After that, they talked together for the first time about their visit to Buffy and Willow.

There were tears. Xander expected them, even from himself. They spilled their anger. Anya's was mostly for the others. Dawn's was cold and steely, and in her eyes, Xander saw the echo of Buffy at her most determined. Tara was resigned. She didn't tell the others what Willow said, but when she stopped crying in the hotel room, she withdrew again. Now, she looked around the table, a faint smile on her face. No matter what happened, no matter what they decided, she would never be an outsider again.

"So," Xander said, "we're decided. A letter a week. I'll start. Dawn, you get next week, then Anya, then Tara. Ok?"

Buffy couldn't sleep. She watched Willow for nearly an hour, memorizing again every detail about her lover, before her restlessness couldn't be ignored. She tucked the blanket securely around Willow before getting up and pulling on her robe. She went downstairs, staying in the center of the living room as she passed through it to the kitchen.

Buffy turned on the light and got a glass of milk and sat at the table. She stared at the trashcan for a few seconds before getting up. Her curiosity got the better of her, and she pulled the envelope from the top of the container.

Buffy recognized Xander's sloppy handwriting, and slowly turned the envelope in her hands, debating. Her panic at seeing them was as much fear of returning to Sunnydale as it was about her expectation that they would insist she do it. None of them had really talked. First, she and Willow ran. Then they pushed the others out the door.

Buffy had to admit that she missed them. She wasn't certain that she could cope yet with the constant boisterousness of their gatherings, or the noise of their comings and goings, but she missed the unstated affection they shared.

She finally opened the envelope and spread the two notebook pages flat against the tabletop. Xander was straightforward, as always.

Buffy, Willow,

I'm so glad you're alive. I can't even describe how I felt when I saw you both sitting there. I wanted everything to be like it was, so I tried to not see how different you both are.

I don't know what happened to you, Buffy, but I'm sorry you were hurt so much. I'm sorrier that I made it worse by expecting that you would just pick up where we left off. I'm glad that Will's been there with you, and I'm happy for both of you. We want – I want – you both to be safe and happy.

After Willow disappeared, we decided to leave Sunnydale. You should be proud of Dawn. She did the research, and that's how we ended up here. She didn't fuss about leaving Sunnydale, all of her friends, and most of her stuff. She took care of Tara a lot. Tara was, and still is, I guess, a little unsteady. So much happened in so little time, and she's still trying to recover from it.

We're all working. Dawn pitches in around the house, and when school's not in session, she works with Tara at the restaurant. Her grades are good. She knows that she'll need financial aid for college, and that's the easiest way to get it. Dawn's grown up a lot. She's more mature than we were at her age, but she's still a kid. I'm glad for that.

I'm still doing construction. Work is steady and the pay is good. There's always plenty to do around here when I'm not working. Anya keeps books for a couple small businesses, including the hotel. She also works the front desk there. We're all putting away money to help Dawn with college.

This is a really nice place. People talk to each other. They care about each other. Dawn's made lots of new friends. We all have. There's nothing here more dangerous than the occasional drunk driver.

We miss you. We love you. We want you back in our lives. I know you're hurting. When I looked at you, really looked at you, Will, while you were getting coffee for us, I could see it. You too, Buffy. I wish you'd just look back.

I'm not going to lie and say we'll do what you want. I guess this letter tells you that. I want our family back together. We need each other. I'm going to keep writing you. I'd like it if you answered or called. Love, Xander

"Buffy?"

Buffy looked up to see Willow in the doorway. "Hey."

"You all right?" Willow looked at the papers on the table, then back at Buffy.

"Yeah. C'mon and sit down. I'll make some tea."

"Is that what I think it is?" Willow asked as she moved toward the table.

"Yeah." Buffy filled the kettle and put it on a burner. She turned it on, and gathered what she needed from cabinets and drawers.

"Did you read it?"

"Yeah." Buffy leaned against the counter and waited for the kettle to whistle.

"May I?"

"Yeah," Buffy answered again, a little thrown by Willow's cautious tone.

While Willow read, Buffy studied her. The kettle pulled her attention away, and by the time Buffy sat the mugs on the table and slid into the chair closest to Willow, the redhead was finished with his letter.

"Well?" Buffy asked after what felt to her like an eternity.

"Well what?"

"What are we gonna do?" Buffy wrapped her hands around her mug.

"I don't know."

"Do you want to, you know?"

"I don't know," Willow answered, and looked at Buffy. "Do you?"

"I don't know either. I just, he got me thinking."

"About?" Willow prodded.

"Everything. I keep hearing Dawn."

"She shouldn't have said that."

"Why not? It's true."

"No, it isn't," Willow said firmly.

They sat silently a little longer, sipping occasionally from their mugs. "I still want to just run away," Buffy sighed.

"Then we'll go."

"No, Willow, we won't," Buffy said firmly. She grasped Willow's wrist. "We're going to stay here and you're going to graduate with honors and"

"Not if it hurts you, Buffy. Not if being here isn't good for you."

"I can't just keep running."

Willow was inwardly relieved to hear those words. It was the first bit of 'old Buffy' to surface. "We will do whatever you need to do," Willow said calmly.

"I can't do anything," Buffy answered, sounding tired and defeated. "I can't even sleep without you AND a night light. I can't"

"Stop, all right, Buffy. You were dead. You were in hell. You fought for your life without any break for who knows how long. You've only been back for a few months. You amaze me every day. You're justifiably afraid of some things, and you find a way past them every day."

"You," Buffy interrupted. "It's you."

"No, it's you." Willow raised her arm from the table, pulling Buffy's hand along, and kissed her knuckles, lingering for a moment on the scar at the base of her ring finger that refused to fade. "It's all you, every single day."

Buffy smiled and ignored the tears suddenly welling from her eyes. Willow could always do this to her, find a way to make her feel better. Buffy's uncertainty evaporated into Willow's words. Willow said she could do this, so she would. It took several seconds before Buffy remembered what they were talking about. She tapped Xander's letter with her free hand. "What about this?"

"Let's just forget about this for a little while and go back to bed. It'll be here."

Dawn's letter arrived 10 days later. Willow found it in the mailbox with the cable and electric bills when she returned from buying the books for her next round of classes. She put the bags by her desk and fished out the sweatshirt she bought Buffy before looking through the envelopes in her hand.

After they ate dinner, Willow handed the envelope to Buffy. Buffy's hand shook when she recognized the writing, and handed it back to Willow. "You first."

Willow nodded and opened the envelope. Dawn didn't even open with a greeting.

I am so pissed at you two. You're being so selfish and self-righteous and completely blind. Did you forget, Buffy, what you told me to tell everyone when you were gone? Do you have any idea how hard they all worked to do what you wanted?

And Willow, I expected better from you. I never thought you would just walk away from us like you did. We all knew you were in love with Buffy. That's no surprise. But you just left. You were there Friday, and you hugged me and told me to get to bed early before you all left to patrol. And then you were gone. Gone. You didn't give a damn what that did to Tara. You didn't care what it did to any of us.

I'm going to tell you anyway. Tara went to pieces. Again. I don't know how many times one person's heart can break, but I know it's more than once, and that sometimes it can't be fixed. She has worse nightmares now. She doesn't want us to know that she cries every day, but I know. I can tell. Sometimes she's still crying when I come home from school. That frustrates Anya. She doesn't know what to do. She wants to make everything better, but she doesn't know how. None of us do. Not even Xander, who is so far from the happy go lucky guy he used to be. He's almost solemn. And every day he gets up and does whatever it takes to make sure we have a place to live and food to eat. Sometimes he and Tara go out and walk in the woods for hours, and I'm never sure whether they're better or worse when they get back.

Anya's definitely better. Not as sharp tongued, more patient. She takes on more work without complaint. When Tara's having a really bad day, she'll tuck her in bed and work her shift. When I had the flu, she stayed home, not Tara, to take care of me.

Where we're living now is nothing like Sunnydale. I spent the first month wondering what everyone wanted. They're nice. Turns out they don't want anything. They're just nice. There aren't any demons around here of any kind. Tara says there's some kind of magic pocket here that protects the area and warns them away. I don't care. I never want to see another vampire again.

I hate everything that was taken from me. I miss mom. And mad as I am, I miss you two. We can fix whatever is broken, but you need to make an effort, too. Running away never solved anything. So just stop it and talk to us. Dawn

When Willow finished, she pushed the letter to Buffy. "It's all right," she encouraged, and let Buffy hold her hand tightly while she read.

When she finished, Buffy looked at Willow. "All grown up," she choked out.

Willow got out of her chair and pulled Buffy against her body.

After half an hour, they left the dishes on the table and went up to bed.

Anya's letter arrived at the end of Willow's longest day. The lab on Tuesday meant that she didn't get home until nearly 8 p.m. Buffy was waiting for her, pacing anxiously, and they hugged for a long time after Willow removed her coat.

"Did you eat?"

"Yeah, I found the granola bar you put in my bag." Willow smiled. "If you keep putting notes like that with it, I might fail."

"Yeah, right," Buffy snorted. She squeezed Willow again.

"What's going on?"

"Letter."

"Who this time?"

"Anya."

"Did you read it?"

"I was waiting for you."

"Ok." Willow backed away and kissed Buffy gently.

They sat on the couch and read Anya's letter together.

Dear Buffy and Willow,

I hope you are both well. We have been better, but we're much better than we were in the fall. Xander has been wonderful. He is so patient with Dawn. He tries to help with her homework, and works weekends to make sure she has the money to do things at school so she won't be left out. Dawn is, as I understand it, a typical teenage girl. She has friends and crushes and homework. She doesn't complain any more, though. She does what we ask, and makes a good job of it. Tara has her ups and downs, and we all help her as much as we can. I stay busy with work and helping around the house.

Xander said I should tell you how I feel and what I've been thinking, but I'm not sure how exactly to do that. I mean, you can both kill me without any effort if I anger you. But it's what we decided to do, and I don't want to let the others down.

Willow, I am impressed that you pulled it off. I didn't think it would work. It's been several millennia since that spell was successful, and even then, it was as much force of will as magickal power. I underestimated how strong you became while we fought Glory.

Buffy, I'm sorry that you were sent to hell. It is particularly unpleasant, and I am amazed that you survived. I'm glad you're back on this plane. Willow was lost without you.

I'm going to ask you to reconsider what you said. Not for me, but for Xander and Dawn and Tara. They miss you. They need you. Most of all, they love you. Me, not so much. I'm furious with you for hurting them, but if you come back, I'll get over it. Anya

"Still not pulling any punches," Willow murmured.

"I guess. She didn't threaten to eviscerate us." Buffy took the letter and folded it carefully. She replaced it in the envelope and tossed it onto the coffee table.

"Are you hungry?"

"Not really. I think I wanna take a shower and go to bed."

"Sounds like a plan to me." Buffy stood up.

Willow followed her up the stairs.

Willow took a break halfway through the next week's lab class to call Buffy. She knew she would be later than usual, and didn't want Buffy to worry any more than she did. "Hi, baby," she said when Buffy answered.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing's wrong. Lab's gonna run late."

"How late?"

"I don't know. You all right?"

"No," Buffy answered flatly.

"Should I come home now?"

As much as Buffy wanted to say yes, she answered, "No."

"You sure? I can make this up on Thursday."

"No, Will, just do what you have to and come home."

"What's wrong?"

"Letter."

"Who this time?"

"Tara."

Willow flinched. She hesitated before asking, "Did you read it?"

"I read mine."

"Yours?"

"She sent one to each of us."

"Oh." Willow tried to get her emotions under control, but gave up. "I'll be home soon," she promised.

"Don't ditch your class because of me."

"I'm on my way," Willow answered, and hung up. She hurried back to the lab and packed up her things.

"Problem?" her lab partner asked.

"Yeah. I gotta go. I'll do my part Thursday. E-mail your notes, ok."

"Sure. No problem. See you in class."

"Thanks."

Half an hour later, Willow entered the house. Buffy was curled in a corner of the couch, arms wrapped around her legs. She didn't look at Willow, even when Willow knelt beside her on the couch.

Buffy did unwind her limbs when Willow put her arms around her, and she clutched Willow tightly. They didn't talk for a long time, just sat on the couch and held each other. Buffy pulled back first. "You haven't eaten," she said.

"Not hungry," Willow answered automatically.

"Doesn't matter." Buffy kissed her cheek and tried to get up. After a moment, Willow let her.

She saw the envelopes on the coffee table and sighed before picking up the one with her name on the front.

Dear Willow,

I'm so torn about all of this. On one hand, I'm thrilled that you, both of you, are alive. On the other, you, again, both of you, abandoned us. Abandoned me, after all the promises you made. And just when I was beginning to accept that you were really, truly gone, there you were, holding Buffy's hand and looking guilty. Dawn was so excited. She was bouncing and saying "ohmygod" over and over, and I knew she was telling the truth even before I saw you.

Since then, I'm not sure what's going on. I mean, I know we'll never be a couple again. But you were my friend. Are you still? It doesn't feel like it. Tara

Willow put the note on the coffee table and went into the kitchen. Buffy removed a plate from the microwave and put it on the counter, hissing at the heat. She grabbed a towel to transfer it to the table, then looked at Willow. "C'mon, you need to eat," she coaxed.

Willow sat down and picked up the waiting fork while Buffy filled two glasses with water. She sat near Willow and slid one glass near her plate. Willow ate silently, Buffy watching her, until the plate was empty. Willow got up and washed her plate and fork, then got her glass and went back into the living room. Buffy followed her.

They sat side by side on the couch. Willow handed her letter to Buffy and Buffy pushed hers toward Willow.

Dear Buffy,

Welcome back. I'm glad you're back. I wish you were, too.

I always knew that if Willow had to make a choice, you would win. You have her. Take good care of her. You know how she gets wrapped up in projects and forgets to eat or sleep.

I know you think we can take care of Dawn for you, and we're doing our best. But she needs you to at least acknowledge her. Your outright refusal to even consider that hurt her so much. She tries to hide it, but the four of us can't keep much from each other any more.

Try to be happy. The whole world isn't like Sunnydale, and sometimes there are happy endings. Your friend, Tara

Willow blindly pushed the paper toward Buffy and began to really cry for the first time since Buffy died. That unsettled Buffy, who pulled Willow against her and held her. She remained silent while Willow cried, and when she finished, Buffy carried her up to bed.

They didn't talk while Buffy removed their clothing and arranged them under the covers. The silence continued when Buffy began to kiss her, tiny caresses along Willow's cheek, down her neck, and along Willow's collarbone. Willow put her hands on Buffy's face and pulled her up so they could kiss.

After they made love, Buffy asked, "Are we going to answer them?"

"What do you want? Just go with your gut."

"I miss them," Buffy admitted.

"Then we'll answer them." Willow kissed Buffy's forehead.

"Can we," Buffy began tentatively.

"Yes," Willow answered. "I'll skip Friday and we can drive up. We'll be there by dinner time."

"Should we let them know?"

"Probably." Willow looked at the clock. "We can call now. It's not too late."

Buffy looked over her shoulder. "Are you sure?"

"Yes," Willow answered, to both Buffy's immediate question and the overall query.

"Will you do it? Please?"

"Yes," Willow answered again. She kissed Buffy before getting out of bed and into her robe. She went downstairs, and Buffy followed.

Buffy stood behind Willow, one hand on her shoulder, while she dialed the number on Xander's letter. He answered on the fourth ring. "Hey, Xan," Willow replied.

"Will?"

"Yeah, it's me. We, um, we wanna come up and see you guys."

"You sure?"

"We're sure."

"We'd love to. When are you thinking about coming?"

"This weekend. Before we lose our nerve," she added.

He chuckled. "You gonna stay here? We have a room."

"Can I get back to you about that?"

"Sure. When will you be here?"

"Friday night. If the roads aren't bad, we should get there by six."

"We'll see you then. Come here first, even if you aren't gonna stay with us."

"We will."

"Love you."

"You too. See you Friday." Willow hung up and turned into Buffy. "We can do this," she said quietly.

"We can do this," Buffy repeated, in a tone more certain than she felt.

Xander returned to the living room, where the others were watching television. "You won't believe who that was," he said, still a bit stunned.

"Well, tell us," Anya demanded when he wasn't immediately forthcoming.

"It was Willow. She and Buffy are coming up Friday."

They looked at him with varying degrees of astonishment. Dawn spoke first. "Really?"

"Really," he affirmed.

"Are they staying here?" Tara asked.

"Don't know yet."

"I'll fix up the guest room after school tomorrow," Dawn promised.

"Did she say why they're coming?" Anya asked.

"Nope, and I didn't ask. Gift horses and all that." He smiled, and it reached his eyes for the first time since Christmas.