Disclaimer: I do not own Sons of Anarchy or anything from the show. Just Trisha and the plots I come up with. All SOA credit goes to Kurt Sutter and the team.
Authors Note: Thanks for the people who are reading my story, I pay attention to my traffic that comes in and out of this story. To the people who are following this story and/or have added it to their list of favorites I want to send a special thank you to you all. It means the world to me to know that you guys took the time to read it. NOW on to my one main conflict. NOBODY IS COMMENTING/REVIEWING! I love reading reviews and it helps me as a writer to keep having the inspiration to continue this story and see peoples ideas on what stuff could happen in the story, where I can improve or if i'm just doing a good job right now so please again take time and leave me a review :) I will do a special shout out on the story to people who do, so you can see I am reading them and taking them in to consideration.
Chapter 4
A day after the boys left for Indian Hills, Trisha had received a call from Jax telling her they would be staying a few extra days. Some shit went down between the devils tribe and the Mayans and the club was going to stay just to look out in case they showed back up and tried to attack them again. Trisha was disappointed but understood and was familiar with it. She knew when it came to club business that it was put first and she never argued. She understood this was Jax's life, the only life he's ever known and the life he grew up in, much like her. Jax had insisted over the phone that he would make it up to her once he returned. He also insisted that she stay at his house that he wanted to be able to come straight home to her. Trisha had agreed and decided that while he was gone to slightly redecorate the house in hopes he would like the idea she came up with, so she had called upon Gemma, her best friend Donna, and LuAnn to come over and help her out with it. They all were there within the house that she called, Gemma bringing lunch over for all four girls and boxes that contained pictures from over the years. The girls talked and laughed for hours over the pictures. Trisha even had some in albums when she moved back to Charming that she brought back and some boxes filled with clothes of hers that Gemma and LuAnn decided needed to be brought over to put in clothes, insisting that it'll save her the time later because Jax is going to expect her to be staying here often now. A few days passed and the girls had successfully redecorated the house, filling it with pictures of Jax and Trisha together and thoroughly cleaning the entire house making it smell brand new, the boy's had called saying they would be returning tonight. Gemma was busy preparing dinner with LuAnn as Donna finished vacuuming the living room. Trisha took one of the boxes she hadn't opened yet even since her return to Charming to the bedroom and carefully opened it. She gasped as she saw what contents laid in the box, it was the secret she had forgotten to share with everybody. She was so wrapped up in her emotions with Jax and returning that she didn't think of sharing this secret with them. A tear slipped down her cheek as she pulled out the contents, her U.S Army uniform with DeLaney on it and her dog tags that she was suppose to wear but had removed them upon returning to Charming, not wanting to at the time to burst the news on her family. This is going to change everything she thought to herself as she heard her name being yelled from downstairs. She dropped the contents on the bed and rushed downstairs to see Gemma holding up Trisha's cell phone looking very confused. "A Sergeant Ellis is on the phone asking for you" Gemma said to her as she handed her the phone, noticing the terror and sadness in the girls face. "Hello Sergeant Ellis".
The phone was quick and brief, maybe 5 or 10 minutes long. When she hung up the phone Trisha threw her head in her hands and turned around to face the 3 women who were staring at were inquisitively. "Who is he baby" Gemma asked her softly, but already knew the answer just by the way Trisha answered the phone and how she responded. Trisha looked at the women, feeling the threat of tears burning in her eyes, she bowed her head and responded "You all should sit down". An hour rolls by and all the girls are still sitting in the same place they were when Trisha broke the news besides getting up here or there to check on the dinner that was about 30 minutes before it would be finished. Gemma received a text from Clay stating they were at a rest stop but would be there in 15 to 20 minutes. Trisha was mute, she didn't know what to say and feared that the girls were mad at her, especially Gemma. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you all, I planned on it but I let my emotions get in my way and honestly had forgot to". Gemma stared at her, she was upset for Trisha not telling her, but for once in her life she understood why she didn't. Trisha was trying to reconcile with her son, she knew it would be hard for Trisha to do that but now she was all too worried of how Jax is going to react when he hears it tonight. Gemma knew Jax was going to be hurt and heartbroken but what worries Gemma more is the fact that along with the news of being in the US Army, she's getting deployed in a week, she didn't know how her son would handle this type of news or where it will leave her son and daughters relationship at. "I'm not mad at you like that baby, your my daughter and I understand why you didn't tell us, I'm disappointed but I still love you and more mad that your being taken away from us again, I don't know how Jax is going to take this news but he needs to be told tonight with everyone around to help ease the situation if it gets out of hand". Donna stops crying for a second to look at Gemma with hatred eyes "You don't think Jax would hurt her do you, it's not her fault, she got called to active duty to serve her country, she's making a difference in this world". "I don't think he would hurt her, but hurt himself". "My dad doesn't even know, what if he ends up hating me because of it and disowning me"? LuAnn stood straight up and looked at Trisha with eyes that could burn a hole "Your dad will never disown you, he may be upset after tonight but he would never turn his back on you Patricia, if anything he's going to worry himself to death till you return safely to us, and you better return safely". Trisha smiled and for once in that hour the girls had started smiling, but those smiles quickly faded away as they heard the roar of bikes approach and then it went silent for a few seconds until they heard their boys talking and laughing outside. "Let's get them all fed before I tell them, let's me try to enjoy a few minutes of Jax being back before he could try to walk out on me after this bombshell". The women nodded with Donna wrapping her arm around her best friend "We have your back and we won't leave you". Trisha smiled and then turned towards the door with the other women as they heard the boys enter the house. She saw Jax come in behind Clay followed by the rest of the charter and instantly they both broke in to a smile.
All throughout dinner, Jax and Trisha were glued to each other's side. Normally, both immersing in a conversation between just them two with it ending in them kissing each other. The 4 women kept stealing glances at each other trying to figure out the perfect time to drop the bombshell on them. The women one by one excused themselves from the table, going unnoticed by the men that they all disappeared and had taken off to the bedroom in order to silently exchange the their own conversation and prepare themselves for the upcoming moments. It wasn't until about 15 minutes later did the girls reappear carrying the box that held Trisha's secret in it. Trisha looked out on the table, watching her family laugh and carry on, it almost brought her to tears until Otto and Clay looked up and acknowledged their presence to everyone. Noticing the box that Gemma was holding Clay had spoken up "What's in the box dear". Gemma couldn't manage a smile but instead had a look of worry and nervousness that had Clay turning in the chair putting his serious face on. "Gemma what is it"? She turned towards Trisha who had already shed a tear as she looked over at Jax who was dead stare on her as he got up and walked over to her. Gemma set the box down on the table in front of everyone and opened it.
No one said a word except Trisha. "I've been keeping a secret from you all, I meant to tell you all but it slipped". Jax looked down in the box, his faced mixed with confusion when he ran his hand over the name and pulled it out, revealing her Army uniform to everyone at the table. Jax looked at Trisha who in turned look at Gemma, then to her father. "When I left 4 years ago, I went straight ahead and admitted myself in to college and ended up signing up for a trail class of ROTC. I ended up liking it and decided that I was going to enroll in the Army at the same time, they would pay for my entire schooling besides some stuff that I still had to cover, and I would come out from the ROTC as a 2nd Lieutenant. I ended up, leaving college for a year to do basic training and all and went on the Army Reserve list, I specialized in Interpreter and know Arabic and a few other languages from the other countries, I'm sorry I didn't say anything, when I knew I was coming back to Charming I went ahead and called my Sergeant letting him know of an address change so it can be profiled and meant to tell you all but I forgot to, it was the last thing on my mind." Clay stood up as Jax put down the uniform and looked at Trisha "What are the chances you getting deployed"? Jax stared at Trisha whose facial expression along with the other 3 women turned in to sadness and they all started shedding a tear which in turn made Otto jump up and at Jax's side. Everyone could see the hurt in the women's faces and that Jax, himself, was on the verge of tears which never happened. "Trisha, answer" Jax said calmly. She looked up in to his big blue eyes, she wanted to hold him and kiss him and forget that this conversation was even happening but she couldn't, she looked down at the ground "I got a call about 2 hours ago from my sergeant, I am getting deployed next week". The entire room went silent all but Trisha who started to sob and in turn ran out the back door leaving everyone there stunned. Gemma turned and looked at her son, who was looking on the verge of passing out with tears sliding down his cheek. Otto had fell down in the chair, LuAnn stroking his hair trying to keep him calm. Gemma was the first to speak, as everyone else sat there quiet and staring at each other "Despite what any of you in this room may be feeling right now, Trisha is a part of this family, she kept a secret that is now tearing her apart, she needs us to be there and strong for her not rip her apart, especially you Jax". Jax turned to his mom who locked eyes with him sending him a silent but strong warning. Jax nodded and headed out the door, a few minutes later his bike came to life as he sped off down the road. Everyone tried to console Trisha but there was nothing they could do to soothe her broken soul right now. They all left, all but Gemma, Otto, Clay, LuAnn and Bobby.
Otto had walked outside and sat down next to his daughter who was staring off into the sky. He took her in his arms and she immediately started to cry. "I'm sorry dad, I'm sorry I didn't tell you ever, but it's what I wanted to do with my life, I knew the risks and never thought I would return to Charming and took it as a chance to change and it did change me, but now it's coming to tear me apart". Otto rubbed his daughters back as she kept on and on about how sorry she was. "Baby girl, I love you, I've loved you ever since the day I laid my eyes on you in the NICU, to me you were my daughter that day and I knew you would be different, you would go on and live a life that helped to change the world and that's exactly what you're doing, I support you and I always will, it's a lot to absorb right now but we will all be here for you when you leave and when you return, just please return to us, to me, to Gemma, to Jax". "Jax may not even want to be with me now, he sped off and hasn't returned, I can't ask him to stay with me in this life". "What life, club or military life, both have risks sweetheart and it's going to take a little more than you being able to fire off some big guns and speak in different languages to scare him off, he just needs a minute to process that you'll be leaving again, and that there is no guarantee his old lady is going to return". Before Trisha could respond, she heard the roar of Jax's bike approach the house, feeling her face turn hot, she looked at her dad with the eyes she use to give him when she was in trouble as a kid causing him to smile. "He's going to be angry, but you need to realize he loves you more than anything, and he's going to wait for you no matter what". Before she responded, Gemma opened the backdoor saying that Jax wanted to talk to Trisha. Otto nodded, giving his daughter a quick kiss before going in the house with Gemma. A few minutes later, Trisha heard the sliding door open and saw Jax appear.
Jax walked over to where she was sitting and sat down next to her. Both silent as this time Trisha took out a cigarette and gave one to Jax. "I know you're angry with me for not telling you, and worse for finally telling you but opening up that I am getting deployed in a week, Jax I didn't mean to hide it from you, it wasn't my intentions I planned on telling everybody a few days after I got back but it just didn't work out that way and slipped my mind". Before she finished she was meant with Jax's lips boring down on hers with such intensity that she felt like she was going to pass out. When he finally pulled away he let a tear slide down his cheek as he took a drag off his cigarette. The look in his eyes and on his face broke her heart. She doesn't remembering seeing this side of Jax before, at least not this serious of a look. She intertwined her fingers with his and rested them on his lap. "I can't be mad at you darlin, I'm mad at myself for the past, you wouldn't be in this position or having to go way across country if I would have just left Tara alone, it's my fault I just can't help but think I just got you back and now I'm losing you again, except this time what if you can't come back, what if something happens to you over there, I'd never be able to live with myself". Trisha put her hand under his chin and turned his face to where he was looking at her. "Please don't be mad at yourself, this wasn't your fault Jax, this was my decision, I joined the army because I wanted to change the world and this is my way of doing it babe, and if something happens to me then you go on and live the life we would have lived, you keep our love alive, just please don't leave me". Jax grabbed ahold of her face "Sometimes love needs a fighting chance, we done come this far and I will continue to fight for us, babe I'll wait for you because I don't want to die alone, I don't want to just go through the motions of life I want to actually live it and I can't do that without you".
It seemed like hours before Trisha and Jax came inside, Gemma and LuAnn kept pacing the floor, slowly irritating Clay, Otto and Bobby who kept telling them to relax while they sat and had a beer. "I don't know how you idiots can sit so calm right now for all we know my Jax could have done killed her and hid the body in the time we been sitting in here" Gemma said as she glared at them with hand on hip causing the boys to chuckle. "I don't think he would kill her because he knows we would kill him, but do you honestly believe he could even lay a hand on her, he practically buried himself in pussy and dr pussy when she left" Bobby said to her as he still was chuckling. "No, it's just I don't want him to lose focus on her just because she's leaving again". They all heard the sliding door open and got up to see Jax come in with Trisha on his arm. Gemma walked up to them and gave Trisha a quick hug before she eyed her son. "Everything's fine mom, you should go home" Jax said to his mom as Trisha left his arms to go hug her family. Gemma looked at him as she placed a hand on his cheek "Are you sure baby, this is a rough situation she may need my help", Jax put his hand over his moms and looked at her with a determined yet sad look as he nodded "It's time for me to take care of my family, and she is my family, I can do this mom". "I know baby" she smiled, gave him a kiss and walked away leading the others outside. Trisha was sitting at the table, going through old pictures at the bottom of the box, all from her Army training days. Jax sat down next to her grabbing some of the pictures. He smiled as he saw how happy she had even looked in the pictures, some from the barracks with her and her army friends, a few of her at the shooting range during training. One caught his eye, it was her standing there next to a bunk bed wearing her camo pants that was a part of her uniform and a black tight fitting tank top that read SAMCRO on the front, she was smiling at the camera. "You wore that shirt I see, how you got it in there". She smiled "I made friends with some of the lieutenants, I'm very persuasive you know, I brought it because it reminded me while I was in there where I came from and that I could make it through, and it reminded me of you, I wanted to write to you all the time but didn't, could never find the words and didn't think you would have even wanted to hear from me". Jax smiled and looked at her "I wish you would have babe, my letter back to you probably would have been short but I wouldn't be able to stop myself from telling you I loved you and wanted you back home, I probably would have demanded you transfer back to Charming, speaking of that how are you back here, don't you have to live on base or something". She laughed "Yea but I only did a year of active duty, it became too much to do that and school and I was tired of the barracks so I went on to the Army Reserve, I still have to go to base every so often but I was able to live off base and do what I wanted, that's when I went and got Blaze when he was 7 weeks old and it's been me and him ever since". Jax grinned which quickly faded "When your contract is up, whenever it is, do you plan on reenlisting"? Trisha rested her head on her hands as she sighed "I don't know what I'm going to do yet Jax, I love what I do but at the same time I want to be home and have a normal civilian career, plus Blaze I can't just leave him again, I never expected to this time but I'm going to have to find someone to take him for a year until I get back". "Trisha, he's going to stay here, this is his family and he is a part of you, besides Half-Sack would be torn if you took his one true best friend away" they both laughed. "Let's go to bed babe, I want to be wrapped up in your arms and make love to my man". "You been reading my mind babe, but one question" Jax's face turned serious as he stood up and pulled Trisha in to his grip. "We never made this official yet, and I don't want you to leave not knowing if we are something or not" Trisha put a finger to his lips "I've always been yours babe".
The week passed quicker than anybody could have imagined. The day of her departure had come. Trisha had got up out of the bed her and Jax had been sharing for what was the last time for at least a year. Jax was already downstairs making breakfast when she had got out of the shower and started getting dressed in her uniform. Walking downstairs with her bags and army jacket, she had placed them at the foot of the steps as she walked in to the kitchen, her heavy boots making thudding sounds as she approached. Jax had already had her plate ready and waiting for her. "Mornin darlin, how are you"? Trisha's smile quickly turned in to tears and Jax had pulled her in for a hug. "Please don't cry, you go change the world and come back safely to me, I will be waiting along with Blaze and the rest of the club". He wiped a tear away from her and she bent down as Blaze had come up beside her, clinging to her as if he knew something was wrong with his mommy. "You look sexy in that uniform babe" Jax smiled his wolfish grin towards her, trying to lighten up her mood. "I already know this Teller, I mean look at my chest, any guy would be crazy to not want a chance at this and any girl who says they aren't jealous". As pulled her in and grabbed her ass and gave it a squeeze "Any guy would be crazy if they didn't but they'd also be crazy to try it so it balances off". They both let go and she checked on to see if Blaze had food in his bowl before she sat down and ate too. They were silent the entire breakfast, Jax kept catching glances of her looking out the window, picking at what was left of the food on her plate. "Jax, are you sure you're going to be able to wait for me, it's another year gone, and I can't promise we will be in contact every week it's Iraq depending on what I'm doing and where I am". Jax shuffled in his seat with a sad look on his face. It broke her heart seeing him in such a vulnerable state, to her she felt like Jax was thinking that she wouldn't come back even after returning and that surely wasn't the case. She stopped fighting her feelings for him when it started making her vulnerable. This was the last thing she wanted to do to him, to leave him for a whole different country and knowing there was always the risk she doesn't make it out alive. He looked up at her and stared in her deep blue eyes. "I can't help but wait and that is what I am going to do darlin, I want you in my life forever, I deal with crazy shit everyday but this here seems the craziest situation I have been put in, I'm going to worry every day but I need you to come back to me safely". "I'm all yours Jax, from this day on out but you get no pussy while I'm gone and I mean it". Jax laughed "Your officially my old lady again, always have been and I wouldn't dare to think of getting any while I know my beautiful woman is off risking her life to protect my freedom and others".
A couple hours had passed and before they knew it they were pulling in to the lot where Trisha would board her flight to Iraq. Gemma insisted she drive while Jax and Trisha spend the hour of the drive there in the backseat to be close to each other for what was going to be the last time for at least a year. Clay, Otto, Opie, Bobby and Chibs all followed Gemma on their bikes. Gemma had never seen her son more depressed looking than he did now. As they were nearing the gates, Gemma rolled down her window and flashed the pass that allowed them through the gates. The guards already knew that there would be a crowd behind her as Trisha had called early and informed them that they were family so that they didn't get denied entrance on to military property. As Gemma parked and shut off the car listening to the bikes shut off next to her she looked in her rearview mirror as she saw her son grab ahold of Trisha tighter than she thought possible and close his eyes. A few minutes passed and everyone exited leading to the trunk that held Trisha's bags. Her dad was the first to hug her, barely containing himself he kissed her cheek "Your going to do great, you have SAMCRO blood running through those veins, can't wait to see you when you come back". The other sons lined up to give the girl a hug, all with sad looks on their face as they didn't want her to leave again and were worried if she would return. Gemma was the next, with tears starting to fall down her face she grabbed Trisha and didn't want to let go. "Don't go all old lady crazy over there, we need you and clearly my son needs you back so you come back". Trisha smiled as she felt the tears start slowly escaping her eyes, she turned her attention on to Jax who she could tell was fighting the urge to cry as she saw tears pool in his eyes. Jax Teller never cried, at least nobody had seen him do it so when he showed in in front of his brothers and his own mother she knew that she had Jax's heart and that he was breaking down and that was a serious matter. It didn't go unnoticed by them either or anyone else in the lot who was staring at the group trying to take in the intimidating look of the men in kuttes. He slowly walked to her as she couldn't hold her tears back anymore and burst out crying, almost falling to the ground before she was quickly swept in to the familiar hard but gentle hands of Jax. He let his tears slowly fall, as she sobbed in to his chest while he held her tight against him, breathing her in as much as he could. He had to take control of the situation, he needed to be strong for her but it was proving difficult when he wanted all this to be a dream, all he wanted to do was get back in the car with her and drive back to Charming so they could start their life together, officially. He couldn't help but hate himself more at this moment because he knew he was the reason she was even in this situation, if he would have just left Tara alone that night she would never have left, she never would have felt she had to create this amazing life away from Charming, she wouldn't have joined the military, she would have stayed and they would have been going on a full straight 7 years together already, they would have been married and had already started working on creating their life together, maybe would have been starting to have a child. She looked up at him and seeing those beautiful blue eyes cry he couldn't contain himself anymore, Jax Teller started to cry. Clay and Bobby had to take hold of Gemma as she too nearly fell when she spilled out in tears as soon as her son did. Everyone was quiet, even the strangers who were now looking at the family with care and understanding of what the family was going through. Trisha gently stroked his hair, she knew he was trying to stay tough for her but he couldn't hide how he was feeling and now she needed to be strong for him. He quickly leaned up and looked her in the eyes with an intense stare while he still had tears falling down his cheeks "Girl no one else will do, with every kiss and every hug you make me fall more in love, I can't live without you Trisha just stay safe and come home to me". He kissed her hard and with such passion that made her knees buckle. "Time to wrap your goodbyes up troops, it's time to start boarding" they heard a loud voice come over an intercom. Jax looked at Trisha as she wiped away his tears and he smiled while he pulled out a small blue velvet box. "I went out and bought this yesterday with Ma, I was going to wait until you return but I just couldn't, I needed you to see it before you left" as Jax got down on one knee she saw the flash of a camera realizing Gemma and Bobby were snapping pictures as they always have done. She turned back to Jax, who was opening the box as she gasped and the tears started to run down her face again. "Trisha, I know we haven't been official for long, well only a few hours to be exact but this was real back then and I know it's more real now, I can't walk away from this lot knowing that I didn't claim you all over again, I should've done this years ago but I love you so much Patricia Lynn DeLaney, I need you to be in my life and it's your love that drives me crazy and keep's me wanting more, you've always been my old lady but now I want you to be my wife, will you marry me darlin and make me the happiest man in the world right now" Jax smiled at her, and judging by the look she was giving him he was about to get his way. "Yes Jax, yes of course I will marry you" she said loud and excited as he stood up and she jumped in his arms. As he sat her back down, he handed her the bags to fling over her shoulder and took her hand and placed the diamond ring on her finger, a perfect fit. She kissed him again, before giving quick hugs to the rest of them and turning and walking off. As they all watched her, Jax noticed that the group she walked up to and hugged was the same group in the pictures he saw and smiled as they all looked at her finger then looked at him, smiled and nodded, he knew she would be in good hands. "I love you soon to be " he shouted out to her as they all looked back at him, and she smiled that same smile she use to when they would depart ways "I love you to Jackson, always have and always will, make sure you all write back to me". With that being said , she turned around and boarded the plane with the rest of the troops. Gemma came up to her son's side as he draped his arm over her and leaned his head against hers. "You ok baby", "Yea Ma, just hurts watching my life walk away in to danger and this time there is nothing I can do to protect her". Gemma smiled, she was glad to see her son so happy and hearing the confirmation of their love just minutes previous brought joy to her heart. "She's a strong girl baby, believe in her and don't go screwing up while she is gone". Jax chuckled "I'm not as stupid as I was 4 years ago, nothing will come in between us again". As they watched the plane take off, they all got on their rides and left to return to Charming.